Anger issues: EFT or other?

[MamaBearTeacher]

What can help an adult with anger issues?  i.e. instead of talking about what bothers him calmly the person tends to have episodes where he overreacts and then his anger snowballs and he is in fight and flight mode and can't stop his anger and he expresses it as rage.

 

He has had a few years of therapy, with a few different therapists, all of whom he liked.  He is on medication for depression.  He has gone to anger management workshops which he enjoyed.  However, none of this made a difference.

 

Is this caused by a problem in the limbic system?  All his bloodwork is normal.

 

Someone mentioned EFT for anxiety.  Does it work well for these kind of anger issues?  Is EFT generally effective?  Anyone try it?  Like it?  Not?

 

Any other ideas for eradicating anger issues?

[maize]

Adding propanolol to the medication regimen pretty much eliminated angry outbursts for my husband.

 

When he has tried a day or two without it the anger comes back, especially in the evening.

 

I'd love to find a solution that was not yet one more drug with a list of side effects, but so far this is what works here.

Edited June 8, 2017 by maize

[heartlikealion]

I'm stubborn as a mule and usually forget the tapping points so haven't used it much, but my dad taught me EFT a long time ago. He has an advanced EFT certificate and helps others with the method. He tells me success stories of helping others, mostly with pain. I don't know about anger so much, but I think it may work the same. I don't know how old your child is but I read on this board the other day there is an EFT book geared toward children called Tap into Joy.

 

You are supposed to say a phrase when you do the tapping. Words of affirmation. I guess sometimes I felt silly doing it but it doesn't hurt. It can calm you down. One person he did it with was on an airplane with him and very anxious about flying. He asked if they were interested and they agreed and it helped calm them down. So yeah, I'd give it a try. There are videos on YouTube you can watch to help explain it. I don't know if they use all the same tapping points (in other words, maybe some people use less points than others. I remember under the eye, below lower lip above the chin, under arm, etc.).

[sbgrace]

I bought Tap into Joy for my son. My husband read it and decided to try it himself. It's really helping him with frustration--he makes up his own scripts as he goes and uses the taps taught in the book. I will add, though, that my husband doesn't have the intense underlying issues of my son. Importantly, my husband taps throughout the day and not just in the thick of emotion. It helps him immensely when he's doing it regularly. 

 

I have seen tapping dramatically lower my son's anger (raging "10" to rating himself a 2 or so in anger after just one round of the frustration script in Tap into Joy) in a number of occasions that I was able to convince him to tap. The issue is it's hard to use it when you're that mad, and my son won't use it throughout the day like his dad does. DH is trying to gently encourage it, and I'm seriously thinking I'm going to build in some reward system to encourage it. My husband is so sure it will help my son if he tries it regularly, and I've seen such results the times he has tried. 

 

Short answer, then, I have reason to believe it could help if a person is willing to do it regularly.

Edited June 8, 2017 by sbgrace

[Isabella]

I would say it certainly would help anger. Also anger management classes if he is averse to tapping. Some logically minded people think it is balony, so anger management workshops may be better for these people.

 

In Australia there is a governmental organisation called Relationships Australia and the offer short courses like this at a very reduced rate. Maybe there is something similar in your country?

[Ottakee]

Is this a regular occurrence or cyclical? I ask as you mention depression and anger. Sometimes a mood stabilizer will help both issues.

[MamaBearTeacher]

I would not say that it's regular but it is happening more often. Although he loves counselling I wonder if it makes him focus more on the anger and express it more and if it makes him feel like his outbursts are acceptable.

 

He has gone to anger management classes and liked them but they did not help his anger!

[fraidycat]

Yes, EFT can be very effective for anger in my experience.

[winterbaby]

Please (privately, for yourself) read "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. He talks about why traditional anger management and counseling don't often work. Behavior like this can be more of a voluntary choice than those on the receiving end of it realize, or than the people doing it will admit to, even with counseling.

[JumpyTheFrog]

Has he had his thyroid or B12 levels checked?

[MamaBearTeacher]

Yes, his thyroid and B12 are in perfect working order!