Remedial High School Question

[523egr]

This is definitely a hard topic for me to post.  My 14 year old is basically failing at school.  It's been a struggle from the beginning and we have somehow managed to keep going, repeating when necessary.  I feel like he is completely capable, but he refuses to put the time in...until now.  He is currently repeating Algebra 1...he is barely finishing up the 3rd chapter.  His spelling and writing are atrocious (maybe a 4th grade level), he hates reading, and although he does well with science, he is so lazy that he never completes his assignments.

 

We have tried nearly everything (including consequences, so no parenting advice needed)!!  But now he is realizing that there are consequences beyond our home that are in direct result to his failure to work hard.  He is missing out on some great opportunities because of his grades.  He is realizing how behind he is and will not participate in so many activities because they might involve writing, reading, etc.  It's heart-breaking for me, as a mother and teacher.  I feel I have failed him.

 

But on the bright side of things, he is now motivated to catch up (is that possible??).  I have him taking a remedial english course through Bridgeway, he is finally completing his math assignments and doing extra problems in the evenings for practice, and he is asking about really studying for everything else.

 

I would love recommendations for any subject!  He dreams of going to college, but I know he'll never make it if we don't get moving.  Is it possible to complete year long subjects in a semester??  I'm grasping here for anything!!

 

I appreciate your time in reading this and your advice.

 

Betty

[Julie of KY]

Hugs! So glad is he deciding to work on things now.

 

I haven't been there, so I don't have any experience advice, but I will tell you my thoughts. I think that so much learning is beyond the textbooks and classroom. I'd encourage him to spend lots of time reading and learning. Simply reading anything that is written well will teach a lot of spelling, grammar, vocabulary and reading speed in a natural way. Learning science and history outside of textbook learning teaches that there is always more to learn rather than simply finishing a textbook.

 

I do think huge leaps in ability can be achieved, but I would keep the big picture in mind rather than trying to check off all the boxes of each subject being done to a school standard. Ultimately you want a student that has learned how to keep learning.

[OneStepAtATime]

A child struggling that much sounds like he may have some learning deficits.  Have you ever had him evaluated?  Could he be a stealth dyslexic?  Have low working memory or low processing speed?  ADD?

 

If he does have underlying learning challenges then just rushing him through material to "catch up" will probably be detrimental.  If you can possibly seek out an evaluation through a neuropsychologist or through an educational psychologist I would consider doing so.  IF he does have underlying learning issues you would be much better able to then target his weak areas while hopefully also targeting any areas of strength that may also be discovered/confirmed during that evaluation.

 

There are absolutely ways to deal with this and help him, especially if he is motivated, but your best option may be to really understand WHY he has struggled, not just try to check off boxes.  Please consider posting on the Learning Challenges board.  

 

Hugs and good luck.

[Julie of KY]

I agree about checking out Learning Disabilities - that was my first thought, but I was interrupted in typing and never got back to that thought.

 

Whatever the challenge has been - learning disabilities, motivation, behavioral problems - I do think you have to tread lightly in learning how to work around this so he doesn't just hit a wall and resist learning once again.

 

Good luck.

[Mom22ns]

It is absolutely possible to do year long classes in a semester, but you can't do 6 or 8 of them. Many high schools do full year courses in a semester (block system). They usually do 4 classes each semester allowing 8 classes per year. Even in only 3 years, that would give you ds the time to get 24 credits. If he wants to add an extra class in the summer that's possible too. At only 14, he has plenty of time to finish high school on time if he is well motivated.

 

I would agree with OneStep that there may be reasons behind his lack of effort up to this point that go beyond motivation. He may have been dealing with some extra challenges that were masked by his lack of interest. If this is the case, his changed motivation will help, but the underlying problems may still trip him up. 

[Ethel Mertz]

Agree about having him evaluated. You also could have an extra year of high school.

[OneStepAtATime]

Yes that's the other thing that might help besides evaluations.  Consider extending out his High School by another year.  I wouldn't discuss it right away, though.  He may end up seeing that as just one more thing he is failing to achieve.  Just keep it in the back of your head as an option.

 

DD is doing this.  She is taking an extra year and it has been a huge help.

 

She is dyslexic and has low processing speed issues among other things.  We did not get evals until she was in 5th grade.  Prior to that academics were a HUGE struggle.  She hated reading, she hated math, she hated nearly all academic subjects.  Turns out she had ever reason to.  She was working 10 times harder than any of her classmates and only achieving half as much or less.  Teachers assumed she was lazy or unmotivated or not very bright.  Actually, she had learning challenges that were making every.little.thing. HARD.  She gave up.  She burned out.  At that point it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Yes, she stopped caring.  Yes, she stopped trying as hard.  Why?  Because from her perspective none of her effort was valued, none of her effort actually netted anything that anyone else recognized as an accomplishment.  

 

Once we got answers we started over with material designed to specifically target her areas of weakness while tapping into strengths we didn't even know existed before the eval.  It was a HUGE relief.  It took a lot of time to help remediate her underlying learning issues while also finding the best way to tap into her strengths, though.  Getting an evaluation was such a relief because we finally had answers and a more productive path but it still took time.  

 

Starting her Freshman year a year later than she would have normally has bought her the badly needed time to get through everything and has really turned her around for feeling positive and wanting to work hard.  She understands her own strengths and weaknesses much better now and knows how to assist herself and how to self-advocate.  

[daijobu]

Agree about having him evaluated. You also could have an extra year of high school.

 

I agree with an extra year, or as much time as he needs to arrive at college completely prepared.  

[8Arrows4theLord]

This is all given gently. :grouphug:

 I agree with getting him tested and the extra year, especially if his birthday is in the summer. We are struggling with many of the same issues with our 13 yr. old son (mild dyslexic).

If your son has struggles reading, Barton is a great resource for struggling readers and spellers. It will take him back to square 1 to fill in holes, but he can progress at his own speed. We have used it, and it has really helped. Be sure those basics are down pat. Other things that seem to help motivate him are: extra time with Dad working outside, shorter lessons, and more one-on-one time with me. We have done school at weird times just so he gets that extra time. I also backed him WAY up in English (went back to 4th gr.) and spelling (reviewing those Barton rules). I kept pushing him- hoping it would click, but it never did. We review a lot and try to do as much as possible hands on and orally. 

 

    Your son just may have needed this extra time to mature, now he's ready to go!

 Reevaluate his curriculum- get his opinion. What does he like/ dislike about his math book/ lit./ history/ ect.. Sometimes a change in teaching methods can help. You won't be able to fix everything, but a little may help. Look into Teaching Textbooks math or one of the other really great maths suggested on this site if yours doesn't seem to be working. Have him read books he chooses, not just the classics.I wouldn't suggest cramming subjects just to cover them. He may burn out and get frustrated. Slow and steady is my advice.

Try to find a writing program that fits him. Writing With Skill is said to be good for the basics, as well as Writing Strands. I help my son with most of his writing assignments by having him tell me his ideas, then he can rework them into a sentence. It is a struggle, he doesn't write a lot of papers, but he's trying!

Maybe you can use something here to help. :001_smile:

 

[lmrich]

There is always time. I agree with the others that a hidden LD could explain a lot. You can also work through the summer to catch up. Another year is a fantastic idea as well. Boys with summer birthdays are often "red-shirted" so they can mature a bit. 

[lllll]

nm

Edited March 9, 2017 by --Kathy--

[OneStepAtATime]

Its been three days.  I hope you return OP.  Best wishes.

[AimeeM]

My oldest has big dreams, but has LDs (dyslexia, ADHD, processing problems) that make achieving them difficult and frustrating. She is often unmotivated. I would be too if it took me three times as long to do certain subjects.

 

She repeated 9th grade, will work through the summers on certain subjects (math, history, and science, so that she has less pressure during the school year and is more able to concentrate on her very weak areas -- literature, composition, spelling, etc.). She does math during the school year, too, but this schedule allows her to take a deeper breath and not feel so overwhelmed. DD has a mid-August birthday, so repeating a grade isn't such a big deal in her case. She will simply graduate at 18 instead of 17, which is more ideal for us, regardless.

 

I would reevaluate what you're using. And I would try not to feel pressured to use programs and materials that are simply beyond your boy's ability right now. I'm counting credits as hours put in. Materials used will be listed and if it's a remedial course, I will list it in her transcript/course descriptions. The colleges can decide if it's a deterrent. 

 

Have him evaluated. It isn't uncommon at all for a child with LDs to be unmotivated because they feel like there's no point trying, or because they simply get tired of having to try so much harder than their neuro-typical age peers. 

 

And it's easier to give advice than to live it. I'm not always perfect at accepting things the way they are :)