Halftime Hope Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I've put off going through boxes of my kids' schoolwork, because I knew it would be painful to throw the vast majority of it away. We put in so much time and effort, and I'm the world's worst when it comes to being nostalgic. Although it is my hope that some day soon they will each be fine, healthy adults, there have been some "death of dream" things that have come up, issues or concerns with each one of them (trust me that the things I'm talking about would cause you to lose sleep, too). Frankly, it is really hard to go through the boxes, because they represent such a time of innocence and hope. I need someone to tell me that this too will pass, that you made it through the bumps in your early adult life, and that you found your footing and are OK. Tell me than I can let go of the papers and books, even though they represent such a precious, delightful, mostly wonderful time in our lives. I truly loved homeschooling, and being a mom was really precious to me. Thank you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I want to tell you that it is definitely ok to let go of these books and papers! I also want you to know that it's totally ok for you to keep them: just because you want to. It's ok for things like that to make you happy. Unless there is a concrete reason that a couple of tote boxes have no place in your life... It doesn't make you a hoarder to want those things. Our current culture is big on decluttering, but don't let it rise to the level of being imperative that you part with things that have value to you. There may actually be no good reason to let those things go right now. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Unless you are severely downsizing, you don't have to give them up just yet. Put them back into the storage area and go through them later, maybe with the adult children when they are more settled into their life paths. I was a difficult kid, which carried over to a difficult-ish launch. But I'm okay now, found my passion through parenting, finishing a terminal degree so I am ready to move on when my kids do. I understand where you are coming from. My oldest children have not finished finding their adult paths yet. There are some concerns that keep me up at night. But we change every day. The important thing is to not assign judgment to things as they happen, but accept and move forward from that new place we find ourselves each day. Dreams don't have to die just because you didn't accomplish them on the original timetable. If they're important enough, they can come back around. Wishing you peace. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted December 5, 2016 Author Share Posted December 5, 2016 I want to tell you that it is definitely ok to let go of these books and papers! I also want you to know that it's totally ok for you to keep them: just because you want to. It's ok for things like that to make you happy. Unless there is a concrete reason that a couple of tote boxes have no place in your life... It doesn't make you a hoarder to want those things. Our current culture is big on decluttering, but don't let it rise to the level of being imperative that you part with things that have value to you. There may actually be no good reason to let those things go right now. Thank you for your response, Bolt. Next year, we are downsizing in a big way, and, in the immediate term, I have more company coming for Christmas than have ever bunked here before, so I must clear some boxes. (One benefit of young adults -- they tend to bring mates or potential mates home. ;-) ) You are right, though. I can keep a few more precious things, but not much, maybe one box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Oh, my gosh, Hope! I could've written your exact post today! I've been doing and feeling the same things the past few days! It's so hard to look through those workbooks and papers and drawings and remember the innocent days! When I found myself longing to go back, I reminded myself that those days had difficulties of their own and that I often see the past with rose-colored glasses. I *can* tell you just what you asked when you said: "I need someone to tell me that this too will pass, that you made it through the bumps in your early adult life, and that you found your footing and are OK." It *will* pass, I made it through my personal bumps, and I found my footing and am OK. Better than OK, really. The transition years are very challenging for me to parent through! Big hugs to you! :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 I know it seems trite to say this but...no one can erase these memories from your mind and heart. I know the papers are treasured relics, but those times happened and memories were made even if you don't keep tangible evidence of it. i echo the others who say take it slow. Maybe on the first go round part with what doesn't really stir your heart (old math worksheets?). A couple of my kids have faced some big challenges as young adults. They are making it. Your kids will, too. And yes, I love that they bring home friends. Best thing is that at this stage, their friends won't mind an old stack of books in the corner, or a couple of boxes in the closet. Hugs to you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 When I cleared out many many years worth of school papers, it was easier to let the, go if I knew they were going to be helpful somehow. I pulled out a few precious papers and donated the rest to one of those fundraiser paper collections... the local animal shelter gets money for each pound of paper. I had maybe fifty paper grocery bags full. I still have probably as many more that I haven't sorted through yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 It's OK to let go..and it is also OK to let go in stages. I have had to do it this way and I'm not sure that it wasn't better to let it just be that way. I got 6 big boxes to 6 small boxes from 2013 to 2015 and then I revisited it this summer and we are down to 3 small boxes. It's OK if it takes a little time and more time than it should in doing it repetitively. Do what you can. It will be OK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Oh man! Definitely let go as you're ready, it's okay to keep a box or three or take pictures or however you preserve memories. Maybe one favorite from each year in a treasured keepsake box? Don't force it, especially if you know you're doing a big downsize in the future. It may feel better and easier to let things go then. It's okay to take time, really! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 :grouphug: This transition is hard for me also.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 (edited) nm Edited December 21, 2016 by ..Kathy.. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.