Visiting a super reach school -- good or bad idea?

[Daria]

DS is looking at an arts major that requires an interview and portfolio review for most schools.  This complicates the admissions process, making it harder to anticipate where he might be accepted. 

 

This fall we're traveling to another city.  I'm going for work, but I'm bringing him along because there's a school up there that I want him to see.  On paper, it seems to be a really good fit for him, and so I'm hoping he likes it. 

 

The city is also home to another school that's probably the #1 school in his field.  It's at a school that academically would be far out of his reach, but their arts department accepts 100% based on interview and portfolio.  He asked to see it, so I figured it would be good to tour and help us sort out whether he's interested in the "reach".  

 

Well, it turns out that they don't have regular tours that day because it's a "sleeping bag weekend".  So, HS seniors can come, spend the whole day Sunday and then sleep in the dorms, and then attend classes on Monday.   He'd love this, but i'm worried.  I'm worried that he'll fall in love with the school, and then all the other schools will pale in comparison.  I worry that he won't get in, and his heart will be broken, or that he will get in and be in over his head academically.  

 

Does anyone have any experience with your kid visiting a super reach school, especially early on?

 

[lmrich]

Can you afford to send him there? I think that is the harder thing. If he loves it,  works really hard and gets in, and then the answer is no. THat is hard. 

[Daria]

Can you afford to send him there? I think that is the harder thing. If he loves it,  works really hard and gets in, and then the answer is no. THat is hard. 

 

Yes, ironically, it's the only need blind/full need school I think he'd have a chance at, so likely it would be one of his less expensive options if he got in.  

 

I looked up the stats.  The department he wants has a 3% acceptance rate.  That's mind blowing to me.  On the other hand, they don't show the breakdown of majors within the department.  Usually, based on data at other schools, his major is by far the easiest to get into, so I have to hope that his odds would be slightly higher. 

[Hoggirl]

I would since you are already in the area. As long as your ds understands how difficult it is to get in, I think it's fine.

 

I know of a family who did a West Coast tour of colleges but skipped Stanford as they didn't think their dd had a chance to be accepted. Guess what? So they went back. Not an inexpensive proposition. She decide to matriculate elsewhere, btw.

 

Super reach schools are referred to as lottery schools, but just like the lottery, "You can't win if you don't play!"

[daijobu]

 

 

He'd love this, but i'm worried.  I'm worried that he'll fall in love with the school, and then all the other schools will pale in comparison.  I worry that he won't get in, and his heart will be broken, or that he will get in and be in over his head academically.  

 

Does anyone have any experience with your kid visiting a super reach school, especially early on?

 

Be sure to counsel him appropriately on reach schools (use the word "lottery") so there are no unpleasant surprises.  

 

But if he gets in, doesn't that mean the school believes he is capable of the work?  

[JanetC]

Your visits need to be balanced between the reaches and the realistics, but one visit to a reach school would be OK in that context.

[Daria]

I guess the question I have is that we'll probably have a 2 day visit.  I imagined that we would probably spend a significant part of the visit at the "match" school, with a quick tour of the reach school.  Now, it looks like that would be turned on it's head, with 2 full days of activities at the reach school, plus an overnight in the dorms, and a 2 hour break to go see the match school.  

 

I worry that he'll like the reach school better, not because it's actually a better school for him, but because it will be connected with the excitement of a night in the dorm, etc . . . My gut is that, regardless of where he gets in, the match school, and a couple other match schools we've either seen or will go see, are better fits.  

 

I am also not at all convinced that an acceptance would mean he's ready for the school academically.  Artistically, it absolutely means that.  If he gets in, it means that his portfolio demonstrates skills on the level they're looking for, and should be a sign that he'll be able to keep up.  But there's still about 25% of the classes that are distribution requirements and will need to be taken with the general population, most of them kids whose ACT scores are a full 10 points higher than his.  

[Daria]

It also occurred to me at 2 a.m. as I was lying in bed thinking this through, that he might be exhausted after a night in the dorm, which could make it difficult for him to put his best foot forward at the match school.  Their practice is to have students tour and then meet with a faculty representative from the student's planned major, so it's important that he be at his best.  

 

Aaargh, I wish this was easier!

[Hoggirl]

It sounds like you want to pass on it. Go with your gut. You're the mom - you know best!

[daijobu]

You convinced me too.  Maybe there's some other time you can visit the reach school on a regular non-sleepover day.  

[Frances]

I don't think I would be too worried about him being in over his head academically if the art department accepts him. With the exception of a few schools like MIT and Caltech, there are always students well below the average scores. When I was a grad student at one of the Ivies and working as a TA, I wondered how some of my students got into any college. And he will likely have a wide variety of classes to choose from to fulfill any requirements outside of his major, so if academics really are a concern, he will just have to choose his classes very carefully.

[GoodGrief]

I think it's useful to visit all sorts of schools so that he gets an idea of the components of various programs that he likes/doesn't like. So if it's simple enough for you to get him there, I wouldn't stress too much about the potential emotional fallout if he isn't accepted later.

 

That said, we are geographically isolated, so didn't bother to visit super-reach schools until acceptances were in. That worked fine too, though it did compress a lot of decision making into a very intense few weeks.

 

Editing to add, that said, I'm not always crazy about the "night in the dorm" visits, especially for kids who are on the more reserved side. I certainly don't think it's a necessary component of a visit. But if he likes that sort of thing, I wouldn't worry too much about him being overly tired.

Edited August 12, 2016 by Gr8lander