s/o college money...Teaching kids to be responsible with money...what do you do/have you done, has it worked?

[mamiof5]

So, college money thread had a mostly unanimous response...and I feel the same way, would never hand a young adult that type of money. And then read AK mom response and her story blew me away!!! 4 kids? None of them blew away their savings??? AK mom, what did you do??? Did you teach money responsibility since little? Gave them allowances? I am really interested in this. And of course, question is not only for her (but her response did stand out from the others, that's all). How is money teaching/responsibility with it at your house look like? Any "hits" that have worked great and you don't mind sharing??

[La Condessa]

I'd love to hear more about this, too!

[Joyofsixreboot]

So far, mine have been very sensible. They only get the money they work for. No allowances. My older 2 are independent, the 20 yo probably 80% independent. They get very creative. My 17 yo is a weekend nursing home receptionist, 15 yo mows yards, 12 yo sells at farmer's markets. I guess the 8yo hasn't needed money yet 😬. I'm not sure if it's that or my and dh's careful approach they watched or just never having very much at once. The only loan dh and I have ever had was our house we paid early. I assume they may have internalized that as normal.

[mamiof5]

So far, mine have been very sensible. They only get the money they work for. No allowances. My older 2 are independent, the 20 yo probably 80% independent. They get very creative. My 17 yo is a weekend nursing home receptionist, 15 yo mows yards, 12 yo sells at farmer's markets. I guess the 8yo hasn't needed money yet 😬. I'm not sure if it's that or my and dh's careful approach they watched or just never having very much at once. The only loan dh and I have ever had was our house we paid early. I assume they may have internalized that as normal.

We don't do allowances either, and I go back and forth toying with that idea. We do want to start having some chores (not the usual every chores) that we pay them for. We don't live in an area where younger kids can make a lot of money, so they have to wait til they are 16 and hopefully get a job. Dh and I try not to have debt either, but house and car isn't paid off 😞

[Prairie~Phlox]

My children have had jobs since they were fairly young, dh used to be a contractor and when there was work that he could include the family in, he did and then they would get paid, for years we painted apartments with him and they made quite a bit doing that.  DD has been working since she was about 14, first in a daycare and then the last three years at a local greenhouse, I don't know how much she has in her savings, but it's probably over $6,000 and that's after buying a $2,000 car.  She's just always been really frugal like me and has bought her own things early on.  We've never given them an allowance for anything.  Ds 16 has been working at the local greenhouse for the last two years and he doesn't have as much saved up, still has probably 3,000? I don't know, I don't keep track of what they have, I could look if I wanted to.  Ds 15 has been working for my dad on his farm the past two years and also has a fair amount saved up.  We just have always taught them to work hard and you will be rewarded, we've never had a lot, so we've had to pinch pennies, so they've seen what you can do with little.  My parents were the same way with me and I never got an allowance and was buying my own stuff in my late teens.  I think it teaches them more about real life. 

[4arrows]

My children have had jobs since they were fairly young, dh used to be a contractor and when there was work that he could include the family in, he did and then they would get paid, for years we painted apartments with him and they made quite a bit doing that.  DD has been working since she was about 14, first in a daycare and then the last three years at a local greenhouse, I don't know how much she has in her savings, but it's probably over $6,000 and that's after buying a $2,000 car.  She's just always been really frugal like me and has bought her own things early on.  We've never given them an allowance for anything.  Ds 16 has been working at the local greenhouse for the last two years and he doesn't have as much saved up, still has probably 3,000? I don't know, I don't keep track of what they have, I could look if I wanted to.  Ds 15 has been working for my dad on his farm the past two years and also has a fair amount saved up.  We just have always taught them to work hard and you will be rewarded, we've never had a lot, so we've had to pinch pennies, so they've seen what you can do with little.  My parents were the same way with me and I never got an allowance and was buying my own stuff in my late teens.  I think it teaches them more about real life. 

I agree with this.  I think personality does play a part in it, too, though.  Our oldest ds was taught the same as the rest of his siblings, but he went off the deep end financially when he left home.  He's come around a LOT since then.  He knows what he needs to do, since he was taught it along with the others.  He's just resisting wanting to do it.

[mamiof5]

My children have had jobs since they were fairly young, dh used to be a contractor and when there was work that he could include the family in, he did and then they would get paid, for years we painted apartments with him and they made quite a bit doing that. DD has been working since she was about 14, first in a daycare and then the last three years at a local greenhouse, I don't know how much she has in her savings, but it's probably over $6,000 and that's after buying a $2,000 car. She's just always been really frugal like me and has bought her own things early on. We've never given them an allowance for anything. Ds 16 has been working at the local greenhouse for the last two years and he doesn't have as much saved up, still has probably 3,000? I don't know, I don't keep track of what they have, I could look if I wanted to. Ds 15 has been working for my dad on his farm the past two years and also has a fair amount saved up. We just have always taught them to work hard and you will be rewarded, we've never had a lot, so we've had to pinch pennies, so they've seen what you can do with little. My parents were the same way with me and I never got an allowance and was buying my own stuff in my late teens. I think it teaches them more about real life.

That's amazing!!! For your kids' ages they have lots of money saved! I try to talk to ours about saving, but it's a different story when they have no earnings.

[AK_Mom4]

Someone asked in the other thread how we "taught" our kids to manage their money (we are the ones who turn their college funds over completely to them when the graduate from high school).  The kids knew growing up that we were investing their state money (PFD) each year for them and that's why we missed out on the giant TVs and huge vacations other kids get when the money comes in each October.  Before their senior year in high school, DH started walking them through the investment fund each month so they had an idea of what colleges they could afford. We used the Net calculators and I helped them figure out a budget (DD22 and DS20 mostly - DS24 didn't really need a budget) that would cover them through their 4 college years.

 

We discussed Needs and Wants with our kids from a very young age.  DH and I are pretty conservative financially and Wants have to be budgeted in if they are going to happen.  Four kids in sports and music lessons and what-all adds up quick,

 

Our kids have all had jobs starting around age 15 - DD15 had her first paying job this summer umpiring softball games.  Once they had an income, all of the small Wants (movie tickets, hanging out with friends, new music) all came from their paychecks or not at all.  DH and I still budgeted for the big things like sports and lessons.  Once they got their driver's license, they were expected to pay gas and such when they drove. 

 

I guess the answer is that we modeled fairly decent spending and planning and that they started paying for stuff they wanted themselves in high school using money from summer jobs.  All of my kids are penny-pinchers with their own money.

[elegantlion]

Ds is very frugal with his money. We intentionally started money management skills when he was very young (mainly because ex and I didn't have that teaching and it affected us). We started assigning some chores with pay when he was about 3 - like hand mommy the dishes from the dishwasher, help me dump the trash can stuff. He saved money to buy a toy. I spent countless hours in the toy aisles helping him decide what would be a good purchase. 

 

Part of starting young was that I believe there are phases to spending for some. I wanted him to get through the I have $ I must spend it phase when he had $3-5 dollars to blow, not $50-60. It worked. He learned about regret purchases, saving to buy a bigger item, and how to balance needs versus wants. 

 

He started making lists of wants and needs and would shop around. He still does that and prioritizes everything. We discuss major purchases together because he's generally asking my opinion or using my Amazon account. 

 

I think part of it is his personality, part of it is he's seen bad examples of consumerism. We've been discussing credit a lot more now as he's done well with handling a checking and debit account. He's also a very minimal consumer. When he buys something, it's something that will last. 

 

Part of it was being very open with him about how we handled (or mishandled) our money as adults, what effect that had on our lifestyle, and given him free reign to manage small amounts when he was younger.

 

One way he learned to manage was by buying games and selling back games he no longer used. He once traded in an old playstation and Wii for a bunch of games and got an brand new Xbox and a few games for like $5. He could have just bought another system, but his dad took him to the game store and discussed trade ins, then he thought through it for about a week and decided to trade in the systems he no longer played with.

 

I think being a good money manager goes hand in hand with being a good consumer. He's probably better at it all than me sometimes.  

Edited June 16, 2016 by elegantlion