I need help helping DS make a MAJOR decision AFTER already making a decision

[ValRN]

So….DS just got a monkey wrench thrown in his plans.

School A (highly ranked for program, very expensive for out of state) was his first-choice school all along. School B (in state, honors college, scholarship) was  tied-for-first to 3^rd, depending on where in the application process DS was at the time of ranking.

DS committed to School B on Friday because School A did not offer enough money in the official award letter. DS committed while still hoping that School A would offer him a departmental scholarship. His hopes were not high as he has been told repeatedly that School A is very stingy to OOS applicants. DS paid the deposit, registered for housing and a meal plan, and signed up for New Student Orientation for School B. Even taking those steps, DS asked me to make “one last ditch effort†to see if School A would increase his aid.

Fast forward to a couple of hours ago, DS checked his portal for School A and found out that he has been given a departmental scholarship that makes the cost of attendance for School A (out of state & more prestigious) less than the cost of attendance for School B (in state, solid reputation for son’s major). I don’t know if this money was offered because of my “one last ditch effort†or if he was chosen for a departmental scholarship because the departmental scholarship students were notified around the same period of time of my “appealâ€.

I have a tension headache and my stomach is in knots with this new information. School A is a 9-10 hour drive from our home. School B is a 1 hour (2 hour if traffic is horrible) drive from our home. I wanted DS to be able to go to his first-choice school and was a bit disappointment when we made the decision that we could not send him. However, once he committed to School B, we began to accept the fact that School B was where he was going and that he’d be much closer to home.

DS hasn’t decided what he will do. He wants to wait to get more details about the additional money. I don’t want him to go that far from home bc he has LDs which affect his working speed (he’s slooooooow), and  he gets overwhelmed quickly and stresses easily.

What to do? What to do?

 

[MerryAtHope]

One thing to consider with school A is the cost of transportation, and also what to do if something comes up (not sure how close school B is, if it's some place you could run down to help or have him come home for a dr's visit if needed, things like that).

[ValRN]

Yes, we've thought of those things. The cost difference for School A and School B will pay for transportation, and my in-laws are 45 minutes from School A.

[Nan in Mass]

What are the terms of the scholarship?

 

I have a child with a hefty scholarship. He has flunked a few classes - death in the family caused a few, flu caused another, and a girlfriend breakup another. Then there have been some C's due to homeschooling bloopers, getting in over his head, that flu, and that death. Fortunately, the terms of his scholarship are such that all this did not mean he lost it, but having had that happen, I have to admit that I really worry about the students woth scholarships that require maintaining a very high grade point average, especially at a challenging college. Just something to consider...

 

Nan

[Lori D.]

Congrats on the acceptances and scholarships to both schools! :) It's SO nice to have good options with either choice in this situation. :) Other factors you may find helpful to consider in making the final choice: What will the financial situation at school A will be AFTER the freshman year:

 

 

Would he get the same special scholarships, or the same amount of overall merit aid for all 4 years?

Because if the money is only going to be there for the freshman year, unless you can come up with the money or are willing to take on debt, DS may be back in the very same boat of school A being too expensive to continue, and now he has to transfer to school B -- which might then be too expensive as well.

 

There are far more freshman scholarships awarded than transfer scholarships, and transfer scholarships are usually for smaller amounts than freshman scholarships, and are very frequently just 1-time awards, rather than being renewable for all 4 years as are many freshman scholarships.

 

 

Is the new departmental scholarship from school A renewable? And what are the requirements needed to *keep* the new departmental scholarship?

Check on the requirements for ALL of the scholarships, from both school A and school B -- some scholarships have increasing requirements in subsequent years (like increased credit load, increased minimum GPA, or required volunteer or project hours) that become very burdensome if not impossible sometimes for a student to keep up with as the core course load becomes more intense and rigorous in the last 2 years of college.

 

 

How does DS work -- what environment does he thrive in best?

School A (out of state, highly-ranked program) could very well be a "little fish in a big pond" mentality, working with or competing against high- and over-achieving students, and potentially a lot of stress to keep up grades and workload to keep up with absolutely necessary merit aid. Some students thrive with these circumstances.

 

School B (in state, honors college, scholarship) could likely be a "big fish in a little pond mentality, with potentially less anxiety about student competition or fear of losing scholarships. Some students thrive in safe / low-anxiety circumstances.

 

Which mentality does your DS tend to have? Which set of conditions does your DS do best in?

Edited April 21, 2016 by Lori D.

[FaithManor]

Is the departmental scholarship at school A renewable? This is always a good question to ask. Sometimes teaser departmental scholarships are handed out to woo students to the school, but then their world drops out sophomore year when they can't afford to return. So before you consider making the switch from school B to school A, find out about that.

 

If it is renewable, and it is his heart's desire, and you can afford to lose your deposits at school B should they not be refundable, then despite the transportation costs, I think I would be inclined to sign up for school A.

[Reefgazer]

If money were not a factor (and assuming it is a 4 year scholarship and not a teaser scholarship), where would he want to go at this time, all other factors considered?  I'd start there.

Edited April 21, 2016 by reefgazer

[ValRN]

Finally, a moment to respond!  

Thank you to everyone who has responded. Your advice has been very helpful. Here is an update on the situation.

 

Nan –“ I have to admit that I really worry about the students woth scholarships that require maintaining a very high grade point average, especially at a challenging college. Just something to consider...â€

Lori D (and FaithManor)– “Would he get the same special scholarships, or the same amount of overall merit aid for all 4 years?†Is the new departmental scholarship from school A renewable? And what are the requirements needed to *keep* the new departmental scholarship?â€

 The terms (that we’ve found out so far bc DS hasn’t received the letter yet) are that it is renewable X 4 years as long as he stays in the engineering department and maintains a 3.0 GPA. Both of these conditions concern me BC this son, DS2, is still discovering who he is as a person, so how can he possibly know for certain that he’ll want to be an engineer in 1, 2, 8 years?  In addition, he is 2E (sometimes causing low academic confidence), so I’m sure he’ll hit some rough waters at some point and make a C in a class (or two or three). I know the A’s will pull up the C’s, but I’m not sure I want to gamble with having to pay $41K a year if he isn’t able to maintain a 3.0. We don’t have that kind of money, we have  DS1 in college too for whom we have to pay room & board, and we pay 50% of the tuition for dual-enrolled DD (and we outsource some homeschool courses).  If DS2 were to lose his scholarship, we’d have to take out loans to make up the difference. This doesn’t make financial sense to us since we never consider loans as part of the financial aid package to begin with.

 

Lori D – “How does DS work -- what environment does he thrive in best?â€

Thanks, Lori! I needed to be reminded of this. Because of DS1’s sometimes dip in academic confidence and struggle with application of concepts (he’s struggled to keep a B in AP Calc), this is a HUGE consideration. School A would definitely put him in a “little fish…big pond†mentality. We even spoke off-the-record with a faculty member from School B who is engineering alum at School A, and she said that he’d be competing against the best and brightest students who attended very competitive high schools. She wasn’t  trying to get DS to attend School B. She told DH and DS at prior event, that if it came down to those 2 schools, that we could call her on her cell and speak with her off-the-record about how she felt about both programs. I feel like she was truthful when we spoke to her. As a matter of fact, she spoke more highly of School A’s/her alum’s program in regards to math rigor and its resulting prep for real-world engineering. Relating to supportive services, she spoke more highly of School B/her employer. She said, “If I can take the support services from this school to that school, that school [school A] would be perfect.†The day DS2 got the School A scholarship news, he expressed concern about School A possibly being too difficult. DS2 attended a 2-week, residential, summer engineering program at School A and enjoyed it immensely. He had no problem being away from home or making friends. As a matter of fact, he still keeps in touch with the other students who attended ( 8 will be attending School A and 1 will be attending School B…of 16 in all). He also did not feel inferior in intelligence or capability. But then again, the environment was strictly collaborative.

 

Reefgazer –“ If money were not a factor (and assuming it is a 4 year scholarship and not a teaser scholarship), where would he want to go at this time, all other factors considered?â€

School A was his first choice all along. He came home from the engineering program last summer with a renewed confidence in that. When he did not get a scholarship with his admissions packet, I think he lost hope of attending School A. Then, when April 15^th rolled around and he hadn’t heard from the engineering department about departmental scholarships (the website said notifications by the first week of April), he moved ahead with School B. We went to Admitted Students Day at School B yesterday. DS2 really seemed smitten and comfortable there. He said that he’s almost completely sure he wants to attend School B. I was comfortable with that decision.  I asked him if he had not already committed to School B, which school he would choose. He said School A. We ensured him that the $400 deposit we paid should not be a reason to stay with School B. We told him BEFORE he committed that if School A came through, and he changed his mind, we were completely okay with losing $400.

 

So…lots to take into consideration. When DS2 found out about this “final-hour scholarshipâ€, I was super stressed because School A is such a good school/has such a great engineering program. The school gave him so much money, how could we possibly say no? But because I saw yesterday how much he also likes School B, I’m feeling a bit less stressed.

 

Edited April 23, 2016 by ValRN

[Hoggirl]

I have no advice, only sympathy. It really irks me that schools do this! Not everyone waits until the 11th hour to commit. We did not personally experience this, but I had a friend whose son did during the admissions cycles two years ago. Money was a major consideration for them. Her ds's first choice was Michigan. He did get some scholarship money, but the Presidential at Alabama was better. He committed at Bama and about a week before May 1, Michigan came back and offered a LOT more money. Enough to make them equal. By then he had changed his mindset and was at peace with choosing Alabama, but such a late offer really makes it difficult to make comparisons. I do not understand why schools do this.

[katilac]

 I do not understand why schools do this.

 

Because the student hasn't declined their admission. When you commit to one school, you are meant to go back and decline all the others. 

 

Schools offer last-minute scholarship money when they know the money is available - for example, when students who were offered scholarships wind up declining them (because they commit somewhere else), that money is now available to someone else. 

 

Lots of students are very happy to get last-minute money. If are committing to one school, decline the others, and you won't get last-minute offers. 

[1shortmomto4]

I don't come to this board that often but do have 2 in college - 1 with a major disability.  I don't have any great suggestions regarding the scholarship stuff but I do have something to add that I'm not seeing discussed -- because your ds has LDs (I'm assuming documented) what are the school's offering to do for accommodations?  I know it is the law, etc. but the bigger schools don't do a whole lot for students with LDs.  Be sure that his needs will be met - without a lot of resistance.  My ds' disability counselor at his CC advised him to select smaller universities because they offer more to help these students succeed.  I know for us being closer to home would have been the best selection - especially that first year. 

[ValRN]

Update - All the scholarship stuff worked out (4 year renewable, maintain 3.0 GPA, 12 credit hours per semester,...). The support services DS would recieve were adequate to superior. DS chose to stay close to home and attend University of Maryland College Park. :huh:  :huh:  :confused1: