Mom to Aly Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 My goddaughter has moved in with us!! I've talked about her here before--she is like a daughter to me. I've known her since she was 4. Her mom, my ex best friend, was the closest friend I'd ever had, until she decided Jesus was leading her away from me because I wasn't Christian and she could no longer have a relationship with me and my dd, who saw her as a second mother, about a year and a half ago, breaking both of our hearts. My goddaughter, Dy, was almost 18, and refused to cut ties with me, thank goodness! Dy got married in Jan. She is bi-polar and had stopped taking her meds when she moved out of her house. She was doing alright, but in the last few months I could see she was getting depressed, gaining lots of weight which was making her more depressed, and her new husband was not treating her well. About 3 months ago, she he left her, and she found out he had been cheating on her. She totally fell apart. Starting drinking all the time, doing drugs. She had been arrested the year before, after she had turned 18, for shoplifting and was on probation. She was hanging out with the wrong crowd, and the guy she was with took his mom's car, which was a stick shift--Dy cannot drive a stick shift. The mom said Dy took the car--the police caught them at a Walmart, and, on the mom's say so, Dy was arrested. She goes to court next month for contributing to the delinquency of a minor (the boy was under 18), and Nov for stealing the car--the boy admits he did, but the mom still says it is Dy. Her legal aid lawyer is supposed to try to get video tapes from Walmart of them driving up, if they still have them. Anyway, Dy pretty much hit rock bottom recently, when, the day she and her husband filed for divorce, and, right after, her husband told her his girlfriend was pregnant and he wanted a divorce asap so they could get married. Dy had wanted a baby so much, and she is now a wreck. Her parents would not let her go home for various reasons, including her mom being angry that she "didn't make her husband happy enough to stay with her" (she is fundamentalist Christian and says she is breaking the sanctity of marriage, nevermind what he did--don't ask, I don't understand it at all!! she didn't used to be like this, is just becoming more like this all the time). I have always told Dy she has a home with us. But I did tell her, to live with us, she had to be clean. No drinking at all, especially since she is underage, and because of her being bi-polar. No drugs. None of those friends. She would have to get back on meds and see a therapist. Get a job when she was capable, until then help around the house. Be a part of this family and do things with us as a family, that means not letting Aly down, etc. She knew it coming in, and, so far, third day here, she has been amazing--fingers crossed! The thing is, she has always been different with us. Even when she was totally rebelling against her parents, they would call me over because I was always the only one who could calm her down, even in a violent rage. I have always respected her as a person, even when she was a child--they have never treated her with respect, she has always been their possession, to do what they would. They beat her to the point of abuse, in my opinion, and verbally and emotionally abused her for years. Her self esteem is basically non existent. With us, she is like a kid, playing with my daughter, and having fun. She is happy, optimistic, making plans for the future, which she never does otherwise. I'm thrilled, but nervous--I'd appreciate good wishes, and, dare I ask? Prayers (I'm not the type to ask for this, but, hey, I've gotten to where I talk about religion a lot here, so, if you are so inclined? I just want her to get her life straightened out, and not to mess up anymore, and to not disappoint my daughter, hopefully! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanga Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Just a quick response because I am holding a sleeping toddler. Your Goddaughter sounds like my sister at that age. She is now an amazing woman, wife, mother, sister, a legal ace fighting for the little guy, and president of the PTA. She gives my grandmother credit for believing in her when almost nobody else did. I will pray that this is a good match for all of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 My goddaughter has moved in with us!! I've talked about her here before--she is like a daughter to me. I've known her since she was 4. Her mom, my ex best friend, was the closest friend I'd ever had, until she decided Jesus was leading her away from me because I wasn't Christian and she could no longer have a relationship with me and my dd, who saw her as a second mother, about a year and a half ago, breaking both of our hearts. My goddaughter, Dy, was almost 18, and refused to cut ties with me, thank goodness! Dy got married in Jan. She is bi-polar and had stopped taking her meds when she moved out of her house. She was doing alright, but in the last few months I could see she was getting depressed, gaining lots of weight which was making her more depressed, and her new husband was not treating her well. About 3 months ago, she he left her, and she found out he had been cheating on her. She totally fell apart. Starting drinking all the time, doing drugs. She had been arrested the year before, after she had turned 18, for shoplifting and was on probation. She was hanging out with the wrong crowd, and the guy she was with took his mom's car, which was a stick shift--Dy cannot drive a stick shift. The mom said Dy took the car--the police caught them at a Walmart, and, on the mom's say so, Dy was arrested. She goes to court next month for contributing to the delinquency of a minor (the boy was under 18), and Nov for stealing the car--the boy admits he did, but the mom still says it is Dy. Her legal aid lawyer is supposed to try to get video tapes from Walmart of them driving up, if they still have them. Anyway, Dy pretty much hit rock bottom recently, when, the day she and her husband filed for divorce, and, right after, her husband told her his girlfriend was pregnant and he wanted a divorce asap so they could get married. Dy had wanted a baby so much, and she is now a wreck. Her parents would not let her go home for various reasons, including her mom being angry that she "didn't make her husband happy enough to stay with her" (she is fundamentalist Christian and says she is breaking the sanctity of marriage, nevermind what he did--don't ask, I don't understand it at all!! she didn't used to be like this, is just becoming more like this all the time). I have always told Dy she has a home with us. But I did tell her, to live with us, she had to be clean. No drinking at all, especially since she is underage, and because of her being bi-polar. No drugs. None of those friends. She would have to get back on meds and see a therapist. Get a job when she was capable, until then help around the house. Be a part of this family and do things with us as a family, that means not letting Aly down, etc. She knew it coming in, and, so far, third day here, she has been amazing--fingers crossed! The thing is, she has always been different with us. Even when she was totally rebelling against her parents, they would call me over because I was always the only one who could calm her down, even in a violent rage. I have always respected her as a person, even when she was a child--they have never treated her with respect, she has always been their possession, to do what they would. They beat her to the point of abuse, in my opinion, and verbally and emotionally abused her for years. Her self esteem is basically non existent. With us, she is like a kid, playing with my daughter, and having fun. She is happy, optimistic, making plans for the future, which she never does otherwise. I'm thrilled, but nervous--I'd appreciate good wishes, and, dare I ask? Prayers (I'm not the type to ask for this, but, hey, I've gotten to where I talk about religion a lot here, so, if you are so inclined? I just want her to get her life straightened out, and not to mess up anymore, and to not disappoint my daughter, hopefully! I am putting in a special prayer for you and her, I am so happy about your new addition, I hope she can stay on the right path and sees she has a second chance. Here is to patience, blessings and understanding, :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I wish you the best on your new venture. It will be such a wonderful thing if you can provide stability and security in this girl's life. My prayers are definitely with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I am so happy for you, and for her! I think it's going to be a wonderful experience for her having you to help her get stabilized. Yes, I will happily include you in my prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 She is so lucky to have you in her life. Sending good thoughts your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 Wow - I am so glad she has you, and so glad you will be able to help her! I hope she can get herself together with your love and support. She has had a tough time of it, poor thing. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I hope it all works out for you. I think it's great that you want to be there for your goddaughter. Just be careful...drinking, drugs, getting arrested..not good. I hope the second chance she'll be getting with you is what she needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karenciavo Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 You must attract nut job Christians, I've never seen a person with more stories to tell about how Christians have wronged them. ETA: Hope everything works out with your new living arrangements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom to Aly Posted September 19, 2008 Author Share Posted September 19, 2008 You must attract nut job Christians, I've never seen a person with more stories to tell about how Christians have wronged them. ETA: Hope everything works out with your new living arrangements. This is one of the major ones I talk about, the friend of 13 years is her mom. This is the one I consider the biggest betrayal, really, because we were so close, and I did so much for her, but, really, so much of it was for Dy, and I love Dy like she is my own child. And I don't think I have such a lot of experience with probs with Christians; if you had read the thread of my latest experience, you would see lots of others had similar experiences. My major ones have been my friend, the family in our group, and now this soccer team, which certainly wasn't as major, just disappointed my daughter tremendously. The rest has been less personal; and I do think a lot of it is because I am not willing to just accept other people's evangelizing and comments when I don't believe they have the right to push their religion on me or my daughter, and I speak up for our rights, as does she. I'm also very proud of my heritage and religion, and would never hide it from anyone; as I said before, my belief has always been to be upfront, with full disclosure :D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Governess Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 It sounds like she really needs you in her life. I will pray for you and hope that bringing her into your family turns out to be a blessing to all of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.