Need ideas for my 1st grader

[NavyMommy]

I am at my wits end with my 1st  grader and I am looking for some ideas to get her back on track. She's an average student, everything we're using is on grade level and I feel like I'm asking for a typical (or even low) amount of work from her. The problem is it takes her FOREVER to get anything done. Even simple tasks like handwriting practice can take over an hour because she spends so much time daydreaming between letters. During  reading practice she comes up  with a sentence for every word she reads which is  okay but it takes forever, and when we're reading stories/paragraphs  it's very distracting. At the rate she goes we could easily be working on schoolwork until late in the afternoon most days, and it's only 1st grade! What happens when the work gets more complicated, and she has more subjects? 

 

Plus it's really not fair  to my 4  year  old. He is really good about entertaining himself but there is a limit and I can't keep him squirreled away in the playroom all day while his sister needs me. She's not  reading well independently yet (I think we're on lesson 120 or so of OPG) and she needs a lot of at the elbow guidance. Plus I'm trying to keep her  on task! We also have afternoon appointments / activities 3 days a week (2 days are speech/PT/OT, 1 day dance). Not to mention I don't get anything done all day. It's exhausting and frustrating. 

 

I'm looking for any ideas you have about motivation. I had always believed that children should be intrinsically motivated, but I'm starting to think about  maybe a sticker chart of some kind? When we get each subject done within a normal amount of time then she earns a sticker and after X number of  stickers a special treat or something.  However, I don't want to start  something I won't be able to phase  out later. 

 

Here is the work I ask of her every day. Most days honestly we don't finish it all because I am so burnt out by 2 or 3pm that I can't finish it or we have to take brother to speech so we have to stop. Reading  and Math get done pretty much every day, writing usually gets done, and history and science are usually pushed aside.

 

M/W/F: Reading (OPG 1 lesson), Math (Horizons, 1 lesson and I usually don't do the extras in the teacher's guide like skip counting by 7's), FLL (1 lesson), A Reason  For Handwriting (each  day is only 1/2  a page about 3-4  lines), History (ideally  read a chapter  of  SOTW and have her narrate back / color a picture)

 

T/TH: Reading, Math, Handwriting, Writing (WWE1 she loves the narrations and usually copying the sentence  is the easiest/quickest part  of the day!), Science (WTM way, currently working on the Human Body)

 

I would love any advice/tips/BTDT you have to share! Thank you!

[Chris in VA]

It seems an appropriate amount of work to me. Perhaps you could streamline just a bit by cutting handwriting practice--have her copy her narration, or one sentence of it. Can you do anything orally that is usually written? I scribed for my dd in first grade when we used SOTW.

 

Other than that, I'd just not play into anything. Adopt a no nonsense type persona and git'er done. So, with the whole making up a sentence for each word, I'd say we can't do that right now, and reiterate what you want her to do--"Just read the word, please."

Sit right beside her and point to the paper and tell her to focus.

 

It can feel a little harsh, if she is used to being able to be silly or "creative," but you can remain sweet and smile while still keeping her on task. Sort of nip it in the bud kinda thing. Don't let her get started, and stay focused yourself.

Then I'd be sure to allow lots of silly time later!

 

Does that sound like something you could do?

[OK Family]

Sounds like my 7 yr old is the same way. I was just about to post too, but decided to read yours first. After spending 45 on 6 math problems yesterday and now 45 min on one sentence for copywork, I need help. I've taken things away, I've tried to offer rewards, getting it done is not on her radar... I'm sorry I don't have advice.

[73349]

Here's where I shamelessly admit that I give my kid candy (on Fridays). I get a packet of gummy bunnies or whatever and he gets one piece if he learned his memory work for the week, one when he finishes handwriting, one after math, etc.

 

In your case, I would only offer the reward if the subject is done in under 15 minutes, or whatever is appropriate for the work.

 

Alternately, you could do first the subjects for which she needs the most supervision. Then for the others, give her a time limit for your attention and tell her that you're going to play with the 4yo in _____ minutes, and she will have to finish the work without you if she hasn't done it on time.

 

That said, DS focuses best on the days when we can do a little yard work before we start. Consider spending a few minutes outside before school, if you're not already doing that.

[Tsuga]

 

I had always believed that children should be intrinsically motivated, but I'm starting to think about  maybe a sticker chart of some kind?

 

I am a very intrinsically motivated person and I thought the same.

 

Then I realized that actually, people are quite different and born that way.

 

My daughters are motivated by the desire to compete with their peers. In a homeschool environment, that would probably involve some facilitating and cultivating of friendships with people who do care about schoolwork so she can see where she is.

 

The neighbor girl who is homeschooled does not appear to have this motivation and even though she is probably reading three or four grade levels below the other kids on the street (may be an LD there, I don't know--I know she's progressing and that her parents are working with her), she is motivated to read about things she cares about. So her parents are having her read non-fiction about caring for pets.

 

There is also the question of what they are motivated to do. I've never met a child without strong internal motivation.

 

But many children are motivated to preserve the status quo no matter what. Even if the status quo is diapers and staying in bed all day. Those kids don't lack motivation. They lack motivation to learn to read.

 

So in that case, I think some external motivation, whether that be rewards, peer pressure, punishment--is going to be necessary.

 

 

However, I don't want to start  something I won't be able to phase  out later.

 

I'm pretty sure that at 100% of my neighbors are currently only partly motivated to do a good job because we love our work and a great deal motivated by the money it gets us to buy things we want.

 

Removing the extrinsic motivation factor may not be something you want to count on.

 

As for us, peer pressure to get the same grades and do well for the teacher is working well. But I wouldn't be above telling a child, "This is your job. It's what you do for the home, for our family." And paying them.

 

If your child does hard work for money and tangible rewards, that's not really so unusual or bad. Most people are like that. And being motivated by worksheets rather than money is not going to get you that much further in life (if at all).

[Coco_Clark]

I agree that it's an age appropriate amount of work. And should only be taking a couple hours max. How is your day set up? Are you doing it on one swoop? Do you take breaks? What time do you start?

 

I think some people are intrinsically motivated, and many need outside motivation. That's ok, I have to motivate myself to do housework by treating myself to a half hour here on the boards. ;). So what motivates her? Reaching goals? -Sticker chart or maybe implement a grading system. Food? -I'd have no problem giving a few jellybeans or mnms. TV or screen time? -Maybe a show or an hour of gaming when she's done. Praise? Outings? Breaks? -Implement a timer, "we have 30 minutes to do this handwriting. If you finish early we can use the rest of the time for a break." Money? Lol, there are worse ways to earn an allowance.

 

I have one DS that needs me literally at his elbow the entire time he works. Without constant reminders to focus, he is gone into lala land or suddenly underneath the table or just plain wanders away. So we sit together the entire time he's doing school and I stay on top of him, talking him through all of his work. "Ok, now do the next letter, now the next". "That's a great story, and you can tell it to me after we are done reading." He is strongly motivated by verbal praise, and it has to be on the spot immediate. "Wow, that e is beautiful!" "You finished that math problem quick!" It's exhausting, but it doesn't take all day because I'm right there to stop the daydreaming and off-topic chattering and the constant stream of verbal praise keeps him motivated.

 

My other DS is motivated by autonomy. And even more so by screen time. We do all the "lesson" portions of his day together and then I leave him with a checklist of everything he can do independantly. Copywork, journaling, the last half of his math sheet (I watch the first half to make sure he gets it), a math fact drill, reading to someone for so many minutes, listening to something on audio, ect. I keep it to 3-5 items and he can do them whenever he wants, taking as many breaks as needed. BUT no screens are allowed until everything is done. He knows if the list never got done, he'd lose his independance of choosing when and where to do it. And he knows the faster he does it, the more minecraft he can play. Sometimes he's done by 1 or 2, sometimes not until after dinner, but it gets done without any nagging by me other than a gentle reminder when I'm making dinner "any work to finish?"

[MrsRobinson]

I have the exact same issues with my first grader. I've made a few changes and they've really helped a lot.

 

1. I set a timer on my phone and don't tell her how long its set for. That competition with the clock really sped her up.

 

2. Like mentioned above, I combined copywork with handwriting practice using Startwrite. Just started that this week and it feels like we freed up so much time.

 

3. Hive member ajfries gave me the idea of doing science and history on a block schedule. So we do 6 weeks of science every day then switch to 6 weeks of daily history. Her focus is better with a litlle more continuity and less jumping around during the week.

 

4. She loves those subjects so on bad days where she is off in la-la land, I tell her "we are done with lessons at 1 o'clock. If you don't focus, we won't have time for science/ history today." That usually motivates her but at least 5 times, it didn't and she was very upset she didn't get to the fun subject and had no one to blame for it. (This tactic won't work in higher grades when these subjects are more critical, but for 1st grade, I figure its ok.)

 

We still have our bad days full of wandering, daydreaming but its better now than it was a month ago. Hth and gl!

[73349]

^ That's a good point. We also have things planned for after school, and we won't get to everything if school drags on too long. E.g., there's a piano lesson on Thursdays, and I won't miss it because school's not done, so I guess you'd have to have more school instead of free time later in the afternoon if you dawdled too long.

[Tonia]

I have a dreamer/dawdler too (she still is and she's in 5th grade!).

 

The work looks perfect for her age (we used almost all the same things at that age) and shouldn't take more than about 2 hours a day to complete. That said, I had to help and coax my daughter to stay on-task. And at that age I'd expect to be at-the-elbow for all of her work.

 

What about breaking work up into 20-30 minute sessions and offering some sort of reward for completing a certain number of tasks within that time period? Candy, play time, a special video, cuddle time with a picture book, anything to get her motivated.

[Collins4]

My dd is almost 7 and we were starting to have some issues with the same things. Here's what worked for us:

 

Moving around! We go from the couch to the white board to a table....

 

Snack time. I don't normally do a morning snack, but have found if I say we are going downstairs for a snack after we finish A, B, and C then she stays focused and gets it done.

 

Stars! If she stays focused on her work then she gets to pick a marker and I put a star or happy face on her hand. Motivation for her and no effort for me. Its a win win!

 

Finally, I found that if we start our work with a read aloud that SHE picks then she is more willingly to work for me later on. This has the added bonus of giving my 3 year old son a story before I want him to entertain himself for a while.

 

Good luck!

[fourisenough]

Around that age, if my kids are dragging, I will offer them a choice: they can dawdle and make school work take forever OR we can do a 'Power Hour'. We work in the kitchen, so I'll set the timer on the microwave for 60 minutes. We work fast & furiously for that hour and are usually able to accomplish a full day's worth (K/1st level) of work. My girls seem encouraged by the challenge and they like the change of pace. Of course, you have to be able/willing to give her your full attention during that time, tuning out all distractions. Not sure if you have little ones, but it may only work during nap time.

[skueppers]

My son was a dawdler last year in first grade, and with some things it helped a lot if I did the work with him.

 

For example, when he did handwriting practice, it went better if I sat with him and wrote all of the same things over and over for however long it took him to finish. Having me doing the work too kept him working efficiently.

 

Also, if he didn't finish his work during school time, I didn't let school time drag on all day and keep us from our activities, because then his inability to focus would be negatively impacting me and his sister. Instead, if all of his work wasn't done, a couple of times a week my husband would work with him in the evening and keep him on task. *He* wasn't already exhausted from dealing with it all morning... ;)

 

The problem no longer exists; I'm not sure whether he just outgrew it, or whether what we did was effective. I tend to think that with a lot of parenting things, it's mostly about waiting for them to outgrow it while making sure the expectations are clear and that the impact on other family members is minimized.

[SilverMoon]

What do you do when she takes alllll day to pick up her toys? I break it into manageable steps. "Start with just the dolls; then get the costumes."

 

Or get in the bath? Come beside her and move her through the steps.

 

Or whatever it is that isn't her preference? Do the same for school. :)

[SaltLifeNC]

I have the same problem with my 6 yo son. My 12 yo dd's actually helped me when it came to handwriting. One day, I walked away because he was refusing, complaining, and dawdling and while I was gone the girls told him to surprise me when I got back by having it all done neatly...that did the trick! It's a big deal to him now to "surprise" me with his handwriting. I don't know if you have older children, but maybe you could tell her your going to check on the younger one and for her to surprise you when you get back? Just a thought, I hope it gets better for you :)!

[mamakelly]

I have the same struggle with my 7 year old. I finally figured out that he loves his computer time.  So computer time is now tied to schoolwork. No computer until all school work is done. At the beginning of our school time I give him 5 tickets, which are each worth 5 minutes of computer time. If he's goofing off and wasting time, he has to give me a ticket. He's so motivated by this system that I've only had to take a ticket a handful of times. I'm not a big fan of systems like this, lol, but I"m getting old and tired. I really just need him to pay attention, and this does the trick.

[Joyoustxmama]

Had/have similar issues with my K student (age 6). Timers just stress him so that won't work here. But limits are critical to family function. I have a 1 year old who gets grumpy if I have to trap him in the school room for more than a couple hours, who needs a nap, needs snacks and attention, etc. And I hate feeling like we did only "school" all day long. There are so many other great ways to spend our time!

If he's dawdling in a friendly or tired kind of way, I motivate with games, a little break, an encouraging puppet friend, or treats like a Dove chocolate candy for prompt, well done work. I only do the more fun subjects after the three r's are covered for the day, though he doesn't love any of his school so much that this greatly helps to motivate him.

If he is being rude, I firmly remind that he will not be allowed his nightly screen time if he cannot complete his work, and that I don't have all day to work just with him on school subjects. I also might give independent evening work (such as one page of letter practice or 1 page of math mammoth) if he really balked and dawdled that morning, to let him know his requirement to do schoolwork will not merely disappear just because he lost his screens. I expect school to take 2 hours or less at this stage which includes our read alouds, games, songs etc. Academic work is about an hour.

Tying completion of school to a special privilege he values that is restricted in our home (junk tv time on Netflix, games like angry birds on iPad) has really helped speed up the timetable here. But I do try the nicer motivators first. And some days are just a total fail at his age no matter what I try. :).