Unschooling 101 - how to?

[Cakes]

I would love some tips, guidelines etc that are commonly used by any homeschoolers that take a more relaxed/ child's interest led type of educating, aka unschooling (I guess).

 

We started home schooling this fall and I am feeling more and more that we are just playing school at home, checking off the boxes and not really reaching our potential here. There are certain limitations we have such as a deep commitment to dance which is daily. Our school day runs form about 9-2. There are things that my DD would like to explore but we are so darn busy checking off the boxes that I am finding it difficult to get to things that (I feel)  would be equally, or perhaps even more, beneficial for her to explore than some of the things she is currently spending time on.

 

I would like to better understand the fundamentals of unschooling.

 

I know that part of my struggle is that this is all so new to me, but I would like to explore breaking free of the check list and what that would like like, what that should include and how to ensure that we keep moving forward. How does one set up standards for example? How does one measure growth...or do they? 

 

I would greatly appreciate any insights, ideas of feedback!

[Chrysalis Academy]

Here are a few links to some of my favorite past threads on the subject of outside-the-box learning.  Not actually unschooling, but they might give you a bit of inspiration.  Or search for posts by Corraleno, she does so many cool out of the box things with her kids!

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/500945-outside-the-box-for-high-school/

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/500103-is-anyone-else-struggling-to-find-their-place-in-high-school-homeschooling-is-it-so-wrong-that-we-want-to-paint-and-listen-to-velvet-underground/

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/529027-for-8filltheheart-re-science-and-history-interest-led-planning/

 

(while 8filltheheart doesn't unschool, she does amazing interest-led studies with her kids - definitely out of the box!)

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/481538-talk-me-down-im-a-wannabe-unschooler-sorta-maybe/

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/457175-looking-for-books-articles-experiences-that-describe-non-traditional-high-school/

 

 

 

 

 

[Above The Rowan]

Pam Laricchia has a fantastic email series that you can sign up for. You receive two emails per week to a total of 10 emails, and she helps you really dig in and see what unschooling is all about.

 

By the end of the emails you will really come away with a good base of info and able to decide whether it's the right path for your family.

[Farrar]

The book Free Range Learning is a nice practical guide, IMO. It has a lot of ideas and resources for a more eclectic, unschool leaning approach to learning. Also, Project-Based Homeschooling is a good primer to thinking about how to help kids do kid-driven projects as a main method of learning. While neither of those resources uses the "unschool" label explicitly, I think they're both good practical ways in for unschooling.

 

If you're interested in the underpinnings of unschooling, definitely read some John Holt. Teach Your Own is probably a good starter.

 

 

[Mommy_of_4]

We only use curric for math and language arts and unschool everything else. I make sure there are a lot of different kinds of books in the house for my kids to read if they want. If they want to learn about something they tell me or ask me questions and I request library books for them. The kids love it and are learning tons. We started out with a full textbook approach and the kids were hating it. DH brought up unschooling 3yrs ago but I never had the nerve to try it before. I really wish we had started out unschooling. The kids are back to loving learning again. My school age kids are 7 and 6.

[Ellie]

I would love some tips, guidelines etc that are commonly used by any homeschoolers that take a more relaxed/ child's interest led type of educating, aka unschooling (I guess).

 

We started home schooling this fall and I am feeling more and more that we are just playing school at home, checking off the boxes and not really reaching our potential here. There are certain limitations we have such as a deep commitment to dance which is daily. Our school day runs form about 9-2. There are things that my DD would like to explore but we are so darn busy checking off the boxes that I am finding it difficult to get to things that (I feel)  would be equally, or perhaps even more, beneficial for her to explore than some of the things she is currently spending time on.

 

I would like to better understand the fundamentals of unschooling.

 

I know that part of my struggle is that this is all so new to me, but I would like to explore breaking free of the check list and what that would like like, what that should include and how to ensure that we keep moving forward. How does one set up standards for example? How does one measure growth...or do they? 

 

I would greatly appreciate any insights, ideas of feedback!

 

If you're unschooling you don't set up standards. How you "measure growth" depends on what the dc are doing.

 

John Holt was the one who coined the term "unschooling." It is really learning that doesn't look anything like school. Reading his books--all of them--will help you understand the whole concept.

 

I do prefer a little more hands-on when it comes to things like requiring children to behave properly (because there really are standards of behavior) and doing chores and whatnot, but otherwise, Holt made a great deal of sense in his writings.

[Love]

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Edited November 19, 2015 by Love

[scrapbabe]

Following.

[AngelaNYC]

We unschooled for a long time. When the kids asked for more structure, we added some, but technically, since it was the kids' idea, they created their own schedules, and helped choose what books they'd like to use, we, in fact, were (are?) still unschooling.  Here's what we did/do:

 

We started with the kids' interests.  Together we made a big list of what they liked to do.  My kids had everything on there from playground to gardening to copywork to science experiments.  The list was a great suggestion guideline and I kept it on my fridge.  The more I let the kids take the lead, the more academics got done (believe it or not).  My dd never had a real writing lesson in her life (she started homeschooling in 3rd grade), but enjoyed keeping a diary, writing letters to celebrities (and getting responses!), making shopping lists for me, writing poems and songs, and creating "blueprints" for things she invented.  That's it.  (When she eventually was accepted to one of the best high schools in the city she got all As on her English papers - go figure that one out, lol).  For math, she would pick out her own cheapo workbooks at Barnes & Noble and do them when she felt like it.  Same with Science and History.  She hated any kind of formal reading, but still did a ton in various ways.  Her homeschooled best friend started a girls book club that she loved - and she finally read books!  (In high school, she enjoyed the assigned books).  She was also part of a homeschool geography club where she did oral presentations on a different topic each month - and all the families enjoyed a potluck of that country's cuisine.  The kids did the reports themselves (or with a friend) and helped choose and cook the dishes.  We did 4-5 field trips a month with the homeschool group and by ourselves.  The kids would bring colored pencils and sketchpads to the Met Museum of Art and the American Museum of Natural History.  We went to the Hall of Science often (my job gave me a corporate membership).  She was on a dance competition team (from age 7 to 18) where she had a ton of friends, up to 16 hours a week of classes, and early morning competitions that were never an issue.  At home she got to sleep as late as she wanted, but still could get up at 5am for a 7:30am dance routine.  All the amazing experiences and freedom she had as an unschooler shaped who she was in high school (independent, confident, and outgoing).

 

My son got to unschool as well.  We started with a loose Charlotte Mason curriculum when he was 7 (as per his request) and he loved it, but it was done in a very relaxed way on his terms.  So again, technically, I feel we were (are) still unschooling  :001_cool: .   Ds and I have tried various schedules over the years and I realize he does best with a minimal amount of formal academics.  He always loved being read to, loved fables, and stories about vikings.  I knew he had dyslexia when he was 8, so I let him lead the way with reading, added a few fun multi-sensoral "games" and workbooks, and he understood there was no pressure.  Now at 13, no one can even tell he ever had reading issues.  Go figure (I believe it was the lack of any pressure, demands, and expectations.  Actually, this is true for any successful unschooling).  Most of our homeschool days were and are spent on field trips, extra-curriculars, and fostering his interests in any way possible.  His future goals include college, so he makes sure math gets done (he loves Saxon).  Right now he also focuses mainly on science, poetry, and computers (he just coded an entire game with no help, just his own research).  He's also spending a LOT of time helping a friend with a great dog shelter charity (loading and unloading food, blankets, toys, etc., visiting various dog and cat shelters, and fundraising like crazy).  

 

Unschooling is actually more parent-heavy than parent-led homeschooling (despite what you may have heard, lol).  You have to be very in-tune with your child's interests, learning style, and opportunities in your area.  I love the analogy that an unschooling parent is like the host when a friend comes to your city.  You already know what they might like, so you have a notebook full of things to do and places to see.  You obviously don't force your friend to do something, but offer lots of great suggestions - and do a lot of things together!  You're their tour guide.  What I've noticed is that homeschooled kids - especially unschooled kids - are more receptive to ideas and open to new experiences.  Without coercion, education becomes a truly amazing experience for the whole family. I found it very stress-free.  I kept my own record of everything the kids did and learned and everywhere they went.  We had a "curriculum in retrospect" that would rival anything I could have carefully (and stressfully) planned.  As far as measuring growth, every few months I would look at the typical course of study from worldbook and mark off everything covered - it was usually more than 80% of the entire list by the end of the year.  If it was less, I'd incorporate those topics into discussions, field trips, and/or documentaries (retention is so much better like this!).

 

Ds is my last homeschooler.  He, like my girls, had the option to attend high school or not.  He chose to be unschooled throughout his high school years.  He wouldn't think of giving up the life he has, lol.  I'm really excited about all the experiences and opportunities out there for him now that he's a teen.  

 

 

[EndOfOrdinary]

I was an unschooled high school student.  When my son was younger he needed a schedule, but he wrote it himself and he kept the schedule himself so it was unschooling.  He just was a bit neurotic/OCD.  As he has gotten older and now has a fairly large outside business thing going, we are shifting back.

 

The whole unschooling thing has really gotten a bit ridiculous.  I much prefer the term "non traditional learning." It is far more open.  Just ask yourself what you would like school to look like? 

 

If I remember correctly, you had some specific long range goals for your daughter and she was in 7th grade (?).  So make sure you have some way to hit the big boxes (Writing, Reading, History, Foreign Language, Math, Science).  Make sure she has a pretty good idea of how to summarize WWII before she leaves your charge or how to write a compound-complex sentence.  The fun part is just how you get there.

 

Ask her what she wants to learn about.  If she gives you something really general like "dance," then ask again "What about dance?"  If she doesn't have an answer, ask her to think about it, make a list of anything that comes to mind, and that you will have a meeting with her in three days to rediscuss.  I found meetings the most helpful for my son.  It transfers power right away.  The ball is in his court to really own his learning.  I become the facilitator.  Meetings make us equals right away.

 

Some thoughts on fun dance related stuff:

You could watch famous dancers from around the world (geography/social studies) and discuss the cultural implications.

You could watch famous styles of dance through history (history/social studies) and how movements changed them.

You could watch/talk about underground dance as a social movement and youth rebellion against cultural norms (history/social studies).

You could diagram the timing and rhythms of various different dances and how those different rhythms created a mood for the style (math).

You could draw dancers and look at famous artwork depicting dancers/music (Degas and Kandinsky come to mind immediately).  (history/art)

 

Mainly it is just being willing as a parent to erase the lines of tradition.  That is easier said than done, but it is a really great exercise for both you and your daughter.

[FO4UR]

I don't unschool, but I streamline our work to leave plenty of free time.

 

If you kept the same 9-2 schoolhours, one possible set up is....

 

9-10 math

 

10-10:15 break

 

10:15 - 11:15  LA  (spelling/grammar/writing)

 

11:15 - 11:45  Lunch

 

11:45 - 12:30  Independent work (assigned reading/writing)

 

12:30-2   Project Time  (Her choice, her work.)

 

That is one possible way to carve out time for the Most Important.  Just set a timer for the little subjects (like grammar & spelling) and stop when it is time so they don't eat up the day.

 

 

[albeto.]

 

Unschooling is actually more parent-heavy than parent-led homeschooling (despite what you may have heard, lol).  You have to be very in-tune with your child's interests, learning style, and opportunities in your area.  I love the analogy that an unschooling parent is like the host when a friend comes to your city.  You already know what they might like, so you have a notebook full of things to do and places to see.  You obviously don't force your friend to do something, but offer lots of great suggestions - and do a lot of things together!  You're their tour guide.  What I've noticed is that homeschooled kids - especially unschooled kids - are more receptive to ideas and open to new experiences.  Without coercion, education becomes a truly amazing experience for the whole family. I found it very stress-free.  I kept my own record of everything the kids did and learned and everywhere they went.  We had a "curriculum in retrospect" that would rival anything I could have carefully (and stressfully) planned.  As far as measuring growth, every few months I would look at the typical course of study from worldbook and mark off everything covered - it was usually more than 80% of the entire list by the end of the year.  If it was less, I'd incorporate those topics into discussions, field trips, and/or documentaries (retention is so much better like this!).

 

I love this description! I wish I'd heard about it when my kids were younger. I was only going to add to this thread that when we stopped doing formal academics, the best piece of advice I got was to do whatever the kids wanted/needed, and to do it with them. If they wanted to watch tv, I watched with them. If they wanted to play guitar hero, I played with them. If they wanted to have nerf gun battles, I battled with them. I gave them my attention when they asked for it, 24/7, and left them alone when they asked for it. I didn't do this as the Mom-Who-Is-Also-The-Boss, but as Mom-Who-Is-Hanging-Out-Because-It's-Fun. I very consciously put away my "mom" hat with regard to discipline (which is where people get the idea of being "radical" unschoolers), and we redefined our relationship. The only way I could do that was to get to know them - really know them - on their level. And that required playing with them. Oh yeah, that's the other best piece of advice I remember - focus on the relationship. When you foster a good relationship, learning is a natural part of that.

 

Any issues, from frustration over not getting a project "right," to bickering was addressed as an opportunity to identify the root problem, and brainstorm solutions. This probably took most of my time, and patience. I wanted my kids to be able to pay attention to details and to work well with others, and I could focus on that during these periods of conflict. For this reason, when I say I gave them my attention when they asked for it, I mean I dropped everything (if I could, not just if it was convenient for me), and helped them to calmly, rationally solve problems, social or academic. This was my focus for personal reasons relating to our family dynamic, but the point is the same as Angela is making here - without forcing, being a "host" or "mentor," kids can absorb all kinds of useful information.

 

The other thing I would encourage the OP to know is that kids learn through playing, and that playing looks differently in the teen years than it does under 10. I think people tend to get a bit anxious thinking their kids will never grow up, but if they are immersed in an environment of exploration and involvement, their play will correspond appropriately.

[Cakes]

WOW!!

 

I am so glad that I asked these questions! You all have really opened up a whole new world of discovery to me.

 

I have been busy researching and reading many of the links provided, I got up at 6 am to read in peace and quiet :-)  I am so excited to learn that there really are other options to the way we are currently doing things and I can not wait to begin implementing this new way of thinking!

 

There is so much to read and learn, but I can already see that I can put some things in my DDs hands and let her make some choices and begin to take the lead. I love the analogy of my role being that of a host to an out of town guest, this really resonates with me. 

 

We will maintain math daily, but I am going to shake loose some of the other things that we are doing (the things that I have to constantly nag about) and really focus on what her interests are. For example we chose astronomy to study this year. She found that she enjoys my husband's favorite show, Cosmos. She refused to watch it all last year (while in school) but this year she gets something out of watching it with him, they pause it so that she can ask questions, once in a while she will look something up that she wants to better understand. But the text book and forced reading/answering questions she hates. Yet even in just watching the show with hair dad, she is learning so much....and on a topic she had no interest in, at least she thought she didn't!

 

I am going to continue to dig into many of the resources suggested here to broaden my view and understanding.Thank you so much to all of you who have taken the time to share your thoughts with me. This has been a clarifying thread and you all have really pointed me in the right direction. I have felt in my gut that we were off track, butI just didn't know what or how to change!

[Cakes]

albeto, I have noticed that since pulling DD from public school, our relationship has deepened so much. Gone is the sense that she is pulling away and becoming a typical disgruntled adolescent, and I do not have to hound her every minute of the day to maintain her insane schedule. Now we are a much more relaxed home, but there are still so many beneficial things that we just don't have time to get to, learning to sew, writing stories, playing around in the kitchen with recipes....so many things that are overshadowed by text books!

 

I feel that a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I am ready to begin the new year with a fresh perspective on things! This thread has been such a blessing to me!

[Runningmom80]

Thank you to those who contributed to this discussion.  Lots of great advice in here!