Did I do a bad job teaching writing?

[Elisabet1]

I homeschooled 18 yr old 3rd through 7th. When she got her first period, between 5th and 6th grade, she became mean and angry all the time. She would refuse to do her work all the time. In 7th grade, she was evaluated for a variety of problems and they said depressive mood disorder. She started public school in 8th grade. She took straight preAP and AP classes. She got all A's, except for a couple classes where the teachers made it clear to me that they did not approve of home schooling and such. So school was easy for her. She took both Ap English tests and scored 4 on both. She got 720/730 on the SAT writing section.

 

Problem is, she only ever did timed essays in these classes. And when it was time to write for not timed essays, like college applications, she froze and could not do it. Now, she is having to re-do all her apps, and she has decided to barely apply anywhere, based on the declaration that she cannot write essays. In one case, she is already in and in the honors program, but she has to write essay to get scholarships. She says she cannot do it, so she simply cannot go there.

 

Now I am all up in arms over trying to teach my other children. I feel like writing is an epic fail with her. Do you think this is about abilities and lack there of? Or her mood disorder? She is extremely strong willed. I am getting serious anxiety about teaching the other kids writing because of this. I feel like it must be the hardest thing ever and I certainly must outsource. Although, I did outsource previously. She went to public school for high school and earned A's in those classes! And she passed the AP exams. 

 

Thanks for the advice! It just has me very worried as my next oldest is 13 yrs old now and I am very worried about messing everything up. I do not have a lot of money for outsourcing.

[kubiac]

Just as a former dramatic teenager, I'd say it's the mood disorder or general adolescent sturm and drang talking, not any actual legitimate issue with writing. 

[regentrude]

My guess would be that her claiming she "CAN NOT" write essays has nothing to do with her writing abilities and everything with her mental state.

You did not fail to teach her writing. There is no reason why a student who is able to write timed essays should be incapable of writing non-timed ones.

 

I would take her essay writing block as a symptom about her ambivalence about college. Blaming her inability to write the essay is a way of avoiding to deal with the actual issue.

[Dagne]

This doesn't sound like a writing issue to me, but an anxiety issue. 

 

I was a perfectionist and had a lot of anxiety when I was in college, and I always preferred timed essays and exams to assignments and term papers. When you know that you didn't do an excellent/perfect job on something, it's nice to be able to blame it on something other than your own ability. 

 

Is she seeing a counselor now for her mood disorder? 

[Elisabet1]

This doesn't sound like a writing issue to me, but an anxiety issue. 

 

I was a perfectionist and had a lot of anxiety when I was in college, and I always preferred timed essays and exams to assignments and term papers. When you know that you didn't do an excellent/perfect job on something, it's nice to be able to blame it on something other than your own ability. 

 

Is she seeing a counselor now for her mood disorder? 

Yes, she is seeing a counselor.

[Ausmumof3]

So write the essay as if it was timed? Set the timer and get it done. Polish later if needed. I would say its anxiety and not your teaching.

[laundrycrisis]

ITA it sounds like perfectionist anxiety.  It doesn't sound like you messed up at all. 

[SevenDaisies]

Not you. I didn't want to write essays for college either. I applied to two schools that didn't require essays - GA Tech & Purdue. I purposely did not apply to schools that required them. I always did well in LA in PS, but never liked writing.

 

I can kind of see why she might not like untimed essays. If time is unlimited, an essay could take me forever. I would stare at the blank page, eventually write something, and then rewrite numerous times before finishing. A simple email can take 30 minutes of my time just making sure it sounds the way I want it to sound. For that matter, I have spent much time writing and rewriting forum posts and then deciding not to post. If I have a deadline and have to get it done, my lack of confidence is outweighed by my need to get it done.

[JumpyTheFrog]

It really sounds like your daughter needs more time in the nest. Has she thought about just living at home and working full-time for a year or two? I think you said previously she has worked in a movie theater and somewhere else.

 

Don't blame yourself for the writing. She got good scores on the SAT and AP exams. I agree with the others that it sounds like she doesn't really want to go to college again yet.

[73349]

If she were unable to write essays, she wouldn't have passed the AP exams. Ergo, she has had sufficient writing instruction.

 

She is feeling unable to write these essays. My question would be, Is she afraid of failing, or of succeeding? What would it take for her to not feel scared of this?

 

Has she talked about it with the counselor yet? If not, now's the time.

[Elisabet1]

She cannot continue to live here. She either goes to college, or gets an apartment, on her minimum wages. 

 

She is ready for the academics of college. She might not be ready for a roommate, but she needs to go to college. She is happiest when she is studying, competing, and whatever else. She has never been happy at home and thrived very well in school. So whether she has her own place to live, or what, she needs to go. Her counselor feels she needs to go to college. 

[Farrar]

Putting aside the other various issues at play here, which are many (totally agreed with all the previous posts that you haven't failed her, that it sounds like a perfectionist/anxiety thing at play)...

 

It sounds like she learned to write essays, but not to revise and edit. The time limit on the essay may have been helping keep her perfectionism in check - after all, when the timer dings, you're done and there's nothing else you can do. On the other hand, with a long term assignment, you have to structure your own time and keep improving it. That's way more open ended and stressful. But these are skills she can learn and since she's so competent with the quicker writing, if she can overcome her anxiety and emotional issues around this, then she can probably do it pretty quickly. She should probably keep putting a timer on it for now. It sounds like you're not the best person to teach her revision strategies, but maybe she can break the task down by writing the draft on a timer then revising with a few different passes, each time on a timer again to limit the anxiety - you have an hour to work on it and then it's done, no matter what. She might do say, three or four revision passes, each one with a different focus like - did I use varied sentence structure, did I use strong words, does the structure make sense, etc.