If you have an older child with ADHD

[Mom22ns]

and you've convinced them to try meds after they were initially opposed to the idea, would you share any tips that you have.

 

Dh and I are going to try, again, to convince ds to give meds a try. Ds is ASD, but he is definitely ADD as well. His lack of focus means school takes forever and things that should be easy (he is highly gifted) are a big challenge. He is a senior in high school and has been accepted to his first choice college for next year. I feel like I'm running out of time. Meds may not help. They may not be the answer, but I really feel like I will have let him down if I don't get him to give it a try.

 

Helpful suggestions and kind words welcome. I don't need to hear any reasons not to try meds or any alternatives to meds. We've done that for the last 14 years.

[Starr]

I don't have tips. We continue to go through this at our house. I will say that college makes it quite clear how difficult it is for him to stay focused and how much worse it is when he's tired. And, well, college is designed to make you tired. I would encourage him to give the medication a try while he's still at home and can evaluate it. If there are side effects a doctor is nearby and dosages and or meds can be changed or stopped.

[Mom22ns]

I don't have tips. We continue to go through this at our house. I will say that college makes it quite clear how difficult it is for him to stay focused and how much worse it is when he's tired. And, well, college is designed to make you tired. I would encourage him to give the medication a try while he's still at home and can evaluate it. If there are side effects a doctor is nearby and dosages and or meds can be changed or stopped.

 

This is my fear. He has taken Japanese at the local state U. He had no problem focusing through class and doing well. He didn't even bother with accommodations, but will for college when he goes next year. I just know that without full support from home and with all the distraction and time pressure, it will be really hard for him. He wants to think he is fine. He is. But it could be easier. I really think he is torturing himself needlessly.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Mom22ns]

Mine was happy to try. Also dx Add and ASD.

 

But he was only happy to try when he himself figured it was what he needed.

 

I think ds is in denial. I had a very hard time convincing him to update testing so he could have accommodations on the ACT, APs etc. He told me he did fine in Japanese, he didn't need accommodations. I don't know how to help him see that it doesn't have to be this hard. He still feels like admitting he has a disability makes him less or worse or something.  :svengo:

[wordnerdjenn]

Question...is he a coffee drinker (or other caffeine user)?  Just about every un-medicated ADHD student I've ever worked with has been a hardcore caffeine junkie.  Why?  Because it's a stimulant, just like most ADHD meds!  It's no coincidence that ADHD kids, and adults for that matter, essentially self-medicate with it.  If that applies to your son, use it as an argument :)  

 

The other approach I've used - which you may have already tried - is to compare it to someone that needs glasses to be able to read.  Would he think that that person is somehow "less" because her eyes don't see all that well?  Nope, right?  Would he think less of a diabetic using insulin?  Or an injured athlete needing crutches?  So why does he apply different rules to himself?  It's totally illogical.  Some people just need meds to function at their best.  And the great thing is that nobody will know he's taking meds unless he chooses to tell them.  It's easy to "hide," so he only needs to tell people he wants to know.  Good luck!

[Miss Marple]

Question...is he a coffee drinker (or other caffeine user)?  Just about every un-medicated ADHD student I've ever worked with has been a hardcore caffeine junkie.  Why?  Because it's a stimulant, just like most ADHD meds!  It's no coincidence that ADHD kids, and adults for that matter, essentially self-medicate with it.  If that applies to your son, use it as an argument :)

 

 

This!  My son was tested when he was in 8th grade.  He scored as ADD with LD.  He was not ADHD.  I mentioned the fact that he drank coffee or Coca Cola in the morning and had found that it helped with focus.  The psychologist agreed and said he had basically learned to "self-medicate".  She encouraged him to continue...maybe with lower calorie drinks (but he was/is a beanpole so that wasn't much of a problem) and told him that medication was available if he ever wanted to try that.  He didn't want to do meds and has basically learned behavior modification and self-medicating as a way to control his distraction issues.

 

Just an FYI:  I'm hearing a lot about marijuana use on campuses by students who have attention issues.  Many of these kids have never been diagnosed and usually by chance find that it helps them focus.  I'm not an advocate of that type of self-medicating :) .  So...be sure your student has options for help *before* he hits campus because this is what other students are touting as the "cure".

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

Self medicating is still medicating. Good or bad. Dh used to self medicate with sida before diagnosis. A lot of Dr. Pepper.

 

 

I don't have any good advice but my 14 year old was getting by with academics but it is so much easier now. He gets through his work with more time for things he wants to do because he isn't always distracted. He chose Concerta and is very happy with it. It really is so much easier for him now.

[SandyKC]

Hmmm... It's difficult when an older child doesn't WANT to try meds.  The main advantage of trying meds during the senior year is to get the meds stablized and set so that when he goes to college, he'd be set.  Obviously you know that, and I wish I had good tips for you on how to CONVINCE your DS to give it a try.. The only thing that comes to mind is finding research that shows the differences between the success of kids whose ADHD is medicated versus not.. It's important for you to be aware that college kids who are medicated are more academically successful, but also more prone to have abuses of their meds.. It's kind of a double-edged sword, which we discussed at length with our DS.  I think if your DS is reluctant, he's more likely to be on the academically successful end of the spectrum if he does choose to take medication.  

 

Something about meds that you may not know--they have to get a new script each month... We didn't know that since my DS wasn't on meds for all of his early years.  The monthly script helps monitor consumption to hopefully avoid the abuse aspect of the meds.  

 

One thing I ca recommend, since your DS has been accepted at his choice college is to call the college and find out what the "intake" process is.  Ask also how long it takes for a student to be seen by the prescribing campus doctor and what the turnaround is for getting on medication if your DS decides to try that route. That way you KNOW what needs to be done if your DS suddenly decides he might need to be able to focus better.

 

When we talked to my DS' college, they said they frequently have students that THINK they can do without the needed support for disabilities, then end up in "Crisis" mode. The kids come looking for help and unless the college has a heads-up, the turnaround can take longer.  Our college was well-aware of the need to be ready for crisis intervention and well-equipped to help the kids.  We had the crisis number on hand just in case ANYthing became an issue.  

 

So, if your son isn't willing to set up for accommodations and/or meds before-hand, having everything ready to go should he run into difficulty is at least a way to prepare.  It may not be the most comforting approach, but at least if you know the procedures, who to call, etc., then the ball can get rolling ASAP if needed.

 

For the pre-planning, ready-for-anything approach, I would highly advise getting the updated testing ahead of time (if you haven't already) even if your DS objects..You can tell him you don't even have to do ANYthing with it, but it needs to already be done. That way, if he suddenly feels like he needs help, then you have the report ready to fax and can get him help within a week's time. The eval can be part of your contingency plan should things not go as smoothly as your DS perceives they will.

 

At college, the director of my DS' college's Student Disabilities Resource Center flat out told my son that if he used his accommodations, college would be much easier and more manageable.  The students that don't use accommodations struggle more, and our disabilities director was EXCELLENT about helping DS NOT feel ashamed or self-conscious about his RIGHT to use accommodations.  

 

Have you been to that college's disabilities support center?  It might be helpful to go talk to them.. depending upon how supportive their center is.  We knew we had a good one because we visited the disabilities support center at EVERY college we visited so DS would know what he'd be dealing with.. Some colleges got scratched of the list immediately because of how RUDE their staff was to DS!!!  Others were very welcoming and helpful, which I think also helped DS feel better about using accommodations at his college. ;)

 

They had some research going on that showed students using their accommodations had higher GPAs, but I just spent several minutes searching and can't find it.  I was thinking maybe if you had your DS look at the research regarding students who use accommodations versus those who don't, it might help him at least be willing to apply for them in case he needs them.  

 

My DS had a loooong list of accommodations and didn't use them all, but there were some that were critical to his success.. like extended time for all exams.  They had awesome sound-proof, visually bland rooms for extended time testing that were perfect for kids with ADHD issues.  DS always went to the test center to take his exams so he could take his time and think. He had other accommodations he could use at-will if he needed them, and that is a distinct advantage of going through the intake process at the college up front.. The student can use the accommodations when he needs them, but doesn't have to use them.  At least if your DS would be willing to go through intake, he would have the ability to use accommodations. ;-)

 

I know this is stressful for you.. to know and see how accommodations can help and that meds might too, but have your DS resisting that.  It's HARD! It's hard for the kids to accept who they are when they just want to be like everyone else, and it's hard for the momma's who want to see their cowboys succeed in the big rodeo! :D HUGS!

[PeterPan]

Just an FYI:  I'm hearing a lot about marijuana use on campuses by students who have attention issues.  Many of these kids have never been diagnosed and usually by chance find that it helps them focus.  I'm not an advocate of that type of self-medicating :) .  So...be sure your student has options for help *before* he hits campus because this is what other students are touting as the "cure".

Oh my, thanks for sharing that.   :svengo: 

[Starr]

Of course marijuana helps...you don't care. 

[Student Mommie]

Maybe it would help him if you gave him statistics on the percentage of adult Americans on medications... it is OVER 70% on at least one medication!!  (OK, i'm pretty sure that study must be flawed or the media misinterpreted it, but anyway, it's very high regardless, i'm sure over 20%)  Right now it sounds like he doesn't want to stand out as some kind of loser who has to take meds.  Maybe if he realized that the majority of people take meds it would be easier for him.  In fact, in college, a huge proportion of kids (especially in selective schools I think it's over 20%) take ADHD meds even when they aren't prescribed by a doctor, just to help them focus and do better academically.  He doesn't stand out by taking meds.  He stands out by refusing meds...

[geodob]

Some college students with ADD that I know, have a different approach to the meds ?

Instead of taking it daily, they rather take it on the days, when they have activities/lessons where their focus is a greater problem.

So that it is more of a 'controlled use'.

 

Where one point of resistance, is the thought that once they start taking the meds?

That they will have to take it every day, for the rest of their life.

 

But the idea of being able to just take 'quick release meds', when he thinks that it would be very helpful?

Would provide him with a different perspective.

Which is in fact, how many students without ADD, use the meds.

[Mom22ns]

Thanks everyone. He agreed to talk to the doctor about it. Learning a bit more about options, being reassured that it is his choice and will remain his choice, and also being reassured that it is not about his failure without meds, but rather trying to make life easier/better with them, were our key points. I'm not sure he is sold, but he has agreed to learn more. It is a step.

 

I am not a doctor and don't even know that his doctor will agree to prescribe or that they will help. Ds works so hard, with such a high level of frustration. We have done practically every therapy in existence over the years. We have done dietary intervention. We have helped with schedules and organization. It is time to take the next step.

[Guest jennas_mom]

In trying to see what my 11yo was experiencing with side effects from her ADD meds, I tried a few. Bottom line, I now take Adderall and am at the top of my game. Ironically, my daughter is off meds and being treat for convergence insufficiency with vision therapy.

 

 

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[merry gardens]

The original post noted her son had ASD. Autism can affect a person's reactions to medications and waht appears to be a "normal" dose may be too much. My bil had an uncharacteristically violent outrage shortly after starting meds. He's still on meds now, (lots of them, in fact) but they adjusted his dosages.