Slooooow child

[Lovingparent]

My son has been doing things slowly ever since he was born. He reads slowly, he writes slowly, but it's not a school only thing. He eats super slowly too. Really, if I let him he can eat for three hours, not an exaggeration, this has actually happened.

In the past that was not a problem, but now that he is doing high school courses, it's becoming a big obstacle. I am not sure what to do. He is a smart child, working ahead of his age. He just takes time. Last year, for his language arts semester finals, he had to write two essays in three days and we literally stayed home for almost all of the three days and he was writing non stop. He is a bit of a perfectionist and it takes time for him to actually start writing. He spends hours just looking at the screen before putting any words down.

Reading is an issue too. His reading comprehension is really good, but it does take him way too long to actually finish reading.  

Any ideas or suggestions?

There was  a thread about it a few days ago but I cannot find it to see what people have suggested and also I wouldn't want to hijack someone else's thread. 

[Hoot]

I have nothing to offer except :grouphug:.  I am in the same boat with DS15 and it can be so frustrating.   

[ValRN]

Let me just say this: I had/have two sons like that.  My 19 y/o worked very slowly, except for reading.  He got faster as he progressed in high school, but basically still worked all day to finish his work.  He was able to begin taking community college courses the summer after his 10th grade year and he did go to a university with academic and music scholarships and finished his 1st year with a 4.0. 

Conversely, my 16 y/o son struggles mightily to get his work done. It started in 9th grade.  It got so bad that we had him have a neuro-educational assessment by a neuropsychologist.  Turned out that he has ADD (causing him to have to read sentences over and over...hence reading slowly), dysgraphia, and a host of other learning differences.  Although the evaluation showed that he had a genius IQ, all of these other things affect the speed at which is does work, his processing, etc.  The neuropsychologist explained that the dysgraphia affects his ability to come up with material to write about. He has to do school year-round to finish a "normal" load of courses. At this point, he will not be able to attend CC or take AP courses in high school. He may even require a gap year after he graduates.  I said all of that to say that it can simply be a matter of maturity or there could be something else going on and it's worth it to investigate further. 

[Renai]

No suggestions here either. Dd14 (will be 15 next week!) is the same way. She did have an evaluation a while back though, so I know she has a slow processing speed. The suggestions were to give more time to complete work and on tests. Now that she is in high school, that means I have to figure out how much do I think she can reasonably complete and still earn a credit. I simply cannot go by the amount of hours. It's no easy task figuring it all out.

 

Right now, I am reading her history, Bible, some Saxon math lessons, and English out loud to her (the grammar and writing assignments). Bible, and so far most history, she's answering orally with me. She has biology online, and will take notes, so that is something I will have her start doing in history if I continue reading it to her. I read so much aloud because she reads slowly and all her written work takes forever to complete. I already see I will need to cut something out of the English, not sure what yet. It can taker her two math periods (1 hour each) to complete one lesson, whether it's Saxon or TT. She recently decided to wake up a half hour earlier to add that time to her math period.

 

All that to say, we're in the middle of figuring it all out ourselves.

[3XBlessed]

Yes, I am dealing with similar issues with my 16 yr old son.  He is fine with math and science, but slow in reading and writing.  I have debated over the years with whether I should get testing for learning issues, but have not done it yet.  He is gifted and seems to be able to compensate for most difficulties.  Once in a while, if there is a pressing deadline, he has been able to read and write faster when absolutely necessary.  I don't know if that would be the case with your son.  I spread out the schoolwork year-round.  I try to add in some outside classes for outside accountability and deadlines, mixed with independent homeschool courses for some flexible schedules.  I am currently guiding him to read faster and improve comprehension by using suggestions from How to Read a Book, by Mortimer Adler.  Suggestions include pre-read/skim, then read quickly for general overview without stopping for parts that are difficult to comprehend, then read again with focus on the difficult parts.  I am trying to guide him to read and write with focus for short periods of time, rather than long periods as he tends to lose focus and concentration.  In my son's case, there may be a combination of lack of interest (he is more interested in math/science), perfectionism (he reads and expects that he should understand it completely perfectly the first read-through, which slows him down more).  We are dealing with similar issues with writing, as he seems to want to have a perfect plan of what to write and how to organize it before writing anything down.  I am trying to get him to see that writing is a process of starting with some disorganized ideas and working toward organizing his thoughts.  

 

Yes, I sympathize with you.  I hope others can offer more suggestions.

[rdj2027]

My 15 year old is like this (his processing speed is in the 3rd percentile).  I had to resign myself to the fact that he is not going to accumulate 30 credits for high school with 10 AP's and and a handful of DE classes but that we will have to settle for achieving at least the minimum requirements for college.  Since we have no idea where he will go to college we are covering Math, English, Social Studies, Science, Foreign Language all 4 years and 1 credit each of PE and Fine Arts.  This will give him 5 classes per year and PE and Fine Arts will be spread out over 4 years, 22 credits in all.  It is one of the reasons we opted for online classes; they provide structure and an outside goal of what he needs to master. I figure if he does well in a Lukeion Latin class he accumulates a decent amount of knowledge and skill regardless how long he spends on memorizing vocabulary.  He is also taking AP Human Geography as it is an easier AP class and we try to spread out AP's as he really can only handle one per year.  As it is, he spends 8 to 10 hours a day on school work and usually works on Saturdays and through much of any break.  I have to watch for burnout while making sure everything gets done.

Extracurriculars are Chess because the club only meets once a month and programming because this is what he likes to do ( I might be able to squeeze an elective out of that).  

He has a 504 in place that was set up while he was still counted as a PS student and when we moved the district hear reviewed it after the first year and sort of signed off on it again (can't really do it since he is not in their system but they wrote me a nice letter that he was re-evaluated and they recommend that the 504 remains in place and is acknowledged for testing situations and evaluation purposes (college entrance).

 

Luckily he has very good memorization skills so learning vocabulary, definitions and such comes easy.  While he reads very slowly, he tends to remember and comprehend what he reads after the first time.  He is a conscientious and diligent student who writes well so that helps.  We will get through school, it is real life that I worry about :-)

[Julie in MN]

My 27yodd is like this.  She is the reason I started homeschooling - when teachers stopped allowing her as much time as she needed, she fell apart and stopped doing anything.  She did well in the special needs tests because they always gave her as much time as she needed.  She failed all the regular tests because "not enough answers to give a score." 

 

I knew nothing of homeschooling at the time and made a LOT of mistakes.  Here are a few things that I think did help.

 

1. Drop everything that a perfectionist is already good at.  My dd needed no grammar, no spelling, etc.

 

2. For math, which has a clearly defined scope that cannot be truthfully changed, make the daily assignments clear and give credit when it is done, however long that takes.  The grade will likely be an A, and you can take it down a bit for the lengthy time period, or not.  I lean towards not, since my dd retains the material forever, and did not memorize-and-forget, however helpful that is to most students cramming for the grade quickly.  Also, if your student is very concrete, then be sure to use something clear, a teacher who says "Learn this" rather than "Can you see where I'm going here?"  (I'm a Math Relief fan, but I'm sure there are other good programs.)

 

3. For foreign language, which again has a clearly defined scope, just have the student work on something every day.  To be honest, I don't think it matters what it is, my dd used a lot of library things like Pimsleur, just do it daily and because these kids are the type who insure they understand everything before proceeding.  I had my kids evaluated by a language teacher at the end of years 2 and up, and they were doing well (this particular dd went back to the high school for French 3 & 4 and fit in well, but would have gotten more done in her other home courses by staying at her own pace at home in French (less busywork).

 

4. For science, I have mixed feelings.  I think if dd had been leaning towards a science career, she would have been good at it, but I clearly knew she wouldn't (can hardly stand to read even about germs that sound icky to her), so I mixed in junior high reading and high school labs.  If she had been sciency, I would have used a high school level text for at least 2 years before college, to prepare her for the reality of in-depth science (terminology in biology, math in chemistry & physics).

 

5. For social studies, really I've seen the lamest courses in public schools, it hasn't changed since the early 70s.  I chose my personal goals (ancient-and-Biblical side-by-side, and thorough American history), and spent most of our time on those, doing a notebooking method with the former and more of a junior high American (Hakim with Sonlight's never-ending questions and Oxford's tests).  At age 27, she retains more history than anyone in the family except her dad.

 

6. For electives, stick to what the student is already doing.  Yes, it's lovely to have fine arts and health and logic and every great elective, but for our slower students everything just isn't going to happen.  Foreign language and music were easy for my dd, so we did those, but even foreign language doesn't have to be a part of every student's high school experience - many college students either won't need it or will have to retake it in college anyways.  (I'd try for foreign language before anything else, but it's not a hill I'd die on.)

 

7. For English, I'm biased but I spend way more time on that for all my students.  Building up reading muscles and learning to write what you meant to say are never-ending.  I go for quality and editing and making sure reading is understood.  Our local public schools read approximately 2-3 books per year for average students, and some of the books are easy reads.  For my perfectionist dd, getting her to own her own point of view (rather than regurgitating from memory what she'd read in a book or researched in an encyclopedia) was painful but whatever time we spent on it was well spent, both in evaluating what she'd read and especially in writing. 

 

I also tried a speed-reading course in a group and it was pointless for her, she wasn't just going to do it the teacher's way, and there was no one-on-one, the teacher was just annoyed at her.  At home, we did a speed-reading book that tried to convince her (by comparison testing) that she would retain more when reading more quickly, and it was worth pointing out but it wasn't worth spending forever on in our case.

 

Hope something in there is helpful to you,

Julie

 

 

[Barbara H]

I'm wondering if you've read about slow processing speed and if any resources targeted to that issue might be helpful. I haven't read this book yet, but I have it on my to do list.  http://www.amazon.com/Bright-Kids-Who-Cant-Keep/dp/1609184726  An interview with the author. http://thecoffeeklatch.com/bright-kids-who-cant-keep-up-guest-dr-ellen-braaten/

[Orthodox6]

Colleges do make accommodations for longer time needed for exams -- however, with the fair requirement of a recent diagnosis that supports the request. Thought I would mention that for advance planning for families thinking ahead.

[PeterPan]

If you get the evals like ValRN is saying, they might turn up some things you can do something about.  Low processing speed with adhd can bump with meds.  Over on LC, some people who have single digit processing speeds have gotten significant jumps (into the 30s!) by using IM (interactive metronome).  

 

You can also show him how to break tasks into parts, use external RAM (a whiteboard or iPad!), etc.  He might find for his compositions that dumping his thoughts onto mapping software like Inspiration helps.  You have to learn how to use Inspiration, but once you do it's EXTREMELY helpful.

 

 

[ValRN]

Barbara H - Thanks for the link to the interview. I found the interview fascinating and very helpful. I vacillate between thinking I'm being too hard on DS 16 and being a pushover. I needed the confirmation (from the interview) that I may need to let go of MY (not his) expectations of what he will do after high school...that college may not be up his alley.  It's so hard for me though because this young man is sooooo bright. It takes so much effort and time for him to keep up with the work. He was stressed to the max his 9th grade year (when we had him evaluated). Now that he knows that he has obstacles, he's less stressed. And I'm less pushy.

[Lovingparent]

I wanted to thank everyone that responded. It was helpful and comforting. My son is struggling this year and I still do not understand why. He is a very bright guy and he has big plans for the future that involve at least two college degrees. I am trying to help him as much as I can. The year in general has been trying because certain things just did not work and we had to change things, so now he has to work to catch up to courses too. I hardly had time to even check the forums and I love checking the forum. 

At this point in time, we do not have the money to do an evaluation. My biggest help with time management was to get him enrolled in different courses, because he tries to abide by courses' time frames more (as opposed to mommy time frames :glare:) . So, we are out of a budget, because all of our budget has gone to classes. We live in an area that everything is so terribly expensive and evaluations are no different. 

 

[PeterPan]

In many states you are able to get evals for free through the ps without enrolling.  You might see what the law is in your state.  I don't know if that's the whole country, but I know in our state we can get evals through the ps, and that's FULL evals (speech, OT, psych, etc.) by doing a written request.  

 

Those evals could open up the doors to accommodations on College Board testing and in college and *might* even open up opportunities for disability scholarships.  People have been telling me lately that the major universities in our state offer disability scholarships, and adhd falls under that.  The student needs a diagnosis of course.  Just saying it might be worth your time to go through the process.  :)