nevergiveup Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 My husband and I have been invited to dinner at the home of some lovely people from China. What do I need to know so that I do not inadvertently offend them? What sort of thing do I bring as a hostess gift? I am not terribly worldly--OK, NOT worldly at all--so any advice would be welcome!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Oh goodness, don't worry! They're just like anyone else. Be friendly, be pleasant, be yourself! There's nothing taboo that you may do or say that will offend them. I have many Asian friends, and they are usually happy to learn about American customs and traditions, so I would think your hosts would be happy to tell you about theirs, too. Hostess gift---some lovely flowers or chocolate. Same as you would like to receive. Enjoy, and I hope they make some authentic Chinese food for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I'm sure you will do fine. If they give you chopsticks to use and you are not happy with them, just ask for a fork. If you do use chopsticks, don't leave them sticking upright in your bowl of rice - that looks too much like incense sticks at a grave. There are lots of other things that are different, but your behaviour won't be seen as offensive. Gifts: don't give things in fours. Take anything you fancy - expensive fruit in a pretty basket is the classic one. Don't be surprised if you receive thanks for your gift, but it is then set aside unopened: this is normal behaviour. Best wishes L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevergiveup Posted July 28, 2014 Author Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thank you ladies! Funny, I never thought about having to eat with chopsticks! Definitely will ask for a fork if it isn't rude. Shoes at the door--do I bring slippers? Socks/bare feet OK? If they bow, do I bow, does anyone still bow??? Pretty much everything I even think I know has come from some cheesy movie. Thanks again for your help and reassurance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 If they have you take shoes off, they will most likely have guest slippers for you to wear. I tend to look at their feet as a clue to see if they have their shoes on or not. People do that with us too but I always notice and tell people to keep their shoes on if they want to. Half our guests take off their shoes, half leave them on. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time. All my Chinese friends are all about making you feel comfortable and have great senses of humor that cover any possible social gaffe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Shoes at the door--do I bring slippers? Socks/bare feet OK? If they bow, do I bow, does anyone still bow??? No bowing required. Japanese do bow but it isn't as common nowadays. Shoes/socks/slippers vary by family. Don't worry about gifts. Anything simple like fruits or chocolate works. We like to feed people :) Food is communal usually and serving utensils are provided. You can definitely ask for forks and spoons. If there is a whole fish dish, don't flip the fish to get to the meat on the other side. The host would usually take out the center bone once one side is eaten. Tea, beer and soda is typically offered to guests. Wine is not as common but I do have wine glasses and wine bottle opener if guests bring wine to share. I don't know how formal your host is. I do give a spare smaller plate for bones and stuff. Have fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CTmom Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 I agree with all the posts above. Do you live in a community where there are not a lot of other chinese people or are the kids the same age as yours? then these couple might just be looking to make some new friends also. They might be just as nervous what to serve :-) >>Don't be surprised if you receive thanks for your gift, but it is then set aside unopened: this is normal behaviour. this is very normal in asian culture. Do americans open gifts when you give them? Other than wine bottles or food, I havent noticed people opening gifts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solascriptura Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Prepare to remove your shoes upon entering the house. It is also customary to bring a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted July 28, 2014 Share Posted July 28, 2014 Yes, but all of these customs are things that native Chinese may observe, but they surely don't expect their American guests to do. Seriously, it's nothing to worry about. If you want to remove your shoes, then go for it. They're in America, and they are not expecting you to observe THEIR customs, as if you're in China. Don't overthink this--just go and be a friend. Flowers or candy is nice just because that's what you would do if you were going to anyone's home for dinner. They would likely never expect you to treat them any differently. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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