aekmom Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Hi there, Dd is diagnosed aspergers/anxiety/adhd, gifted with full scale IQ of 141 and is in public school for eigth grade but is only attending school in the morning for non academic classes and then she comes home and works on the school curriculum...this plan started in March as she could no longer cope with being at school all day... Middle school has been a nightmare...school just doesn't get her....staff have downright lied and refused to follow recommendations of outside evals... Trying to make a decision about the possibility of homeschooling for next year...she has no interest in learning typical high school curriculum....prefers to watch movies over and over and draw and read fan fiction...however she does what is assigned for the most part... Just looking for ideas on what others have done with kids like her...online? Piece together? Anything would be appreciated! At such a loss... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I don't have kids with the same issues so I can't give you any real specific suggestions. Hopefully someone else can chime in with more knowledge. It is the weekend, though, so you may not hear right away. Keep checking back. It sounds like homeschooling might work better than ps, but obviously if she isn't motivated that is going to make things a lot harder. Is there anyone you can outsource a couple of content areas to so the pressure isn't entirely on you? Any people in your area trained to deal with the particular issues and strengths your daughter has? Does she have any outside activities that she enjoys? Or maybe some sort of volunteer position? Have you looked to see if there are any local homeschooling groups that might have extracurriculars she could join in? Someone else will chime in at some point. Sorry I can't be of more help. Big huge hugs and best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Welcome to the boards! I'm sorry things have been so rough. I believe there is a private group on here for parents of high-schoolers with Asperger's. I think TechWife is one of the folks in charge. You might PM her to see if you can join the group or see if they have something to recommend for your stage of the journey. There are a number of folks on here who can talk authoritatively about using special interests and obsessions as a place to tie in academics. OhElizabeth can speak to that. I have a 10 y.o. DS with Asperger's and a high IQ (2e). He was diagnosed just last year after we been homeschooling for most of a school year. We make a lot more academic progress when we can keep the anxiety under wraps. That's been much easier this year for some reason. Now he's offering other challenges, but they aren't directly tied to academics. Your daughter will need significant time to "deschool"--you may need to approach this time differently from the way folks with neurotypical kids do (for structure), but generally, folks back off on academics, ramp up interest led learning, focus on family relationships, etc. They will do things like read aloud, go on field trips, take classes in things they enjoy, and generally try to coax them into a love for learning before doing heavy academics. We deschooled a bit, but we didn't go quite as far as we probably should have (hard to say since he needed to know what to expect long-term, and we had no diagnosis to go on other than the gifted part). He was SO GLAD to be home in spite of having enjoyed a lot about school (smallish private school), but he was a mess for a while (his anxiety looked like defiance, task avoidance, etc., so we didn't know he was anxious). It took some time to tweak the materials we used--he hadn't been challenged in school. Much of what we faced in our first year is the same for folks with NT kids or previously unchallenged gifted kids, but it does have it's side issues. I don't use a full curriculum solution for anything, though many people start that way to gain confidence. I read a great deal about homeschooling style and philosophies (someone here has an excellent essay encapsulating these for folks new to the board), and I chose curriculum with an eye toward that, toward giftedness, and toward his learning preferences. We do some work that requires discussion (it helps to know what he's thinking and processing and where he's stuck) as well as quite a few things that are cut and dry (even a bit workbooky) because he enjoys knowing exactly what to expect from at least part of his curriculum. I use some portions of Michael Clay Thompson's language arts program (Royal Fireworks Press). They have high school level materials, and it's geared toward gifted students. I don't have a lot of other stuff to recommend since mine isn't in high school, but others will likely chime in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Hi Aekmom and welcome to the boards! Well I'm authoritative about nothing, since my kids are not diagnosed aspie and don't have as high an IQ. Nevertheless, I can tell you that fan fiction at that age is perfectly normal. My dd did it a TON in 8th, like hours a day, and for 9th it has calmed down. Is she writing fan fiction and entering contests or just reading? It would be nice if it inspired her to write. If it does, I'd let her do it all she wants. My humble suggestion would be that rather than fighting the movie thing you give in and start USING it. Spanish through movies, history through movies, literature through movies. Just do it. I know someone who did this with a strong theatre interest, and it worked out exceptionally well. You can read biographies of the movie stars. There are plenty of movies to cover all of history, mercy. Most major works of literature have been made into movies, so you would read and watch and compare. Almost all your *content* you can flex on. What you need to do is think long-term about what college or career aspirations she might have and think about what hurdles she might have for that. Then dicker over how you're going to accomplish the things that *can't* be accomplished through movies. Science might be one of those where it's just necessary to find something you can agree on and do it. Math will probably be that way. Figure out what those things are. But for everything else content-wise that CAN be done reasonably with some connection to movies, just DO it and don't blink an eye. She'll be getting an education with connections and meanings which will make SENSE to her. Shhh, but almost all the history I know I know because of movies. ;) It just makes sense to educate someone and allow them to educate themselves from a point of reference. If movies create that for her, that's awesome. Don't fight over things that don't have to be fought over, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aekmom Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 Thanks everyone for the input! I would love to deschool, something she probably needs but I feel the pressure of starting high school. I am also a rule follower and I am trying to be more open minded about how schooling can be... As far as movies it is Harry Potter and only Harry Potter...it is her perseverative interest.. I know I could use it as a starting point for academics but I am just not that creative nor do I have the time...work, two other kids, but mostly just no creativity...I know my limits... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Has she tried Terry Pratchett? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Hi. I have a high IQ, high anxiety, ADHD, OCD, low processing speed, muscular weakness (appears clumsy) adult Aspie (he is now 22.) If you want something straightforward, easy to use with generated assignments, there are literally more options than anyone has the time to provide. There are Christian curriculums. We are Catholic and the ones I am familiar with are Kolbe, Mother of Divine Grace, and Seton. A secular option I am familiar with is Oak Meadow. All 4 of those, I think (not a 100% positive) have the option of either just purchasing their curriculum or enrolling. I know with Seton, and I think it is true with the others, that enrollment comes with a certified diploma vs a homeschool diploma. Academically, our ds had no issues through high school. Socially,it was a disaster. He attended 2 different private schools each for a semester and he picked up every bad habit possible and we are still dealing with many of those issues today. At the college level, again, he did great in most classes, but classes that didn't have straight forward approaches and required completion of open-ended projects were sources of severe anxiety. Some teachers are good in dealing with students like him, some could careless and basically treat them like sink or swim, not my problem. (The latter scenario, open ended projects is actually a serious issue in dealing with employment.) Ultimately, dealing with social situations and executive functions in a job setting are what ended up being most critical in our ds's life. It has nothing to do with IQ or education. It all boils down to his ability.....or more his inability.....to cope with new situations, expected but undefined work output, and expected high-paced output for a slow methodical worker. Don't lose sight of the big picture. When ds was about 14, I had one psy say all the academics in the world won't matter if he can't hold down a job. I was extremely offended by the comment bc he was so smart. But, that one sentence totally sums up our ds's adult life at this pt. He is maturing very, very slowly. He is making progress, but it is definitely not like his siblings, both older and younger. He has to be taught basic skills that others just learn as they go. But in addition to that, he has to make the decision to actually function. All that to say, don't forget to maintain therapies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Hi. I have a high IQ, high anxiety, ADHD, OCD, low processing speed, muscular weakness (appears clumsy) adult Aspie (he is now 22.) If you want something straightforward, easy to use with generated assignments, there are literally more options than anyone has the time to provide. There are Christian curriculums. We are Catholic and the ones I am familiar with are Kolbe, Mother of Divine Grace, and Seton. A secular option I am familiar with is Oak Meadow. All 4 of those, I think (not a 100% positive) have the option of either just purchasing their curriculum or enrolling. I know with Seton, and I think it is true with the others, that enrollment comes with a certified diploma vs a homeschool diploma. Academically, our ds had no issues through high school. Socially,it was a disaster. He attended 2 different private schools each for a semester and he picked up every bad habit possible and we are still dealing with many of those issues today. At the college level, again, he did great in most classes, but classes that didn't have straight forward approaches and required completion of open-ended projects were sources of severe anxiety. Some teachers are good in dealing with students like him, some could careless and basically treat them like sink or swim, not my problem. (The latter scenario, open ended projects is actually a serious issue in dealing with employment.) Ultimately, dealing with social situations and executive functions in a job setting are what ended up being most critical in our ds's life. It has nothing to do with IQ or education. It all boils down to his ability.....or more his inability.....to cope with new situations, expected but undefined work output, and expected high-paced output for a slow methodical worker. Don't lose sight of the big picture. When ds was about 14, I had one psy say all the academics in the world won't matter if he can't hold down a job. I was extremely offended by the comment bc he was so smart. But, that one sentence totally sums up our ds's adult life at this pt. He is maturing very, very slowly. He is making progress, but it is definitely not like his siblings, both older and younger. He has to be taught basic skills that others just learn as they go. But in addition to that, he has to make the decision to actually function. All that to say, don't forget to maintain therapies. 8Fills, I really appreciate the time you take to talk about this. In your hind site, are there things you *could* have done that would have helped with flexibility, ability to handle new situations and open-ended projects, etc.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 8Fills, I really appreciate the time you take to talk about this. In your hind site, are there things you *could* have done that would have helped with flexibility, ability to handle new situations and open-ended projects, etc.?Not that I am aware of. He was in different therapies from the time he was 12 until 20. (he is currently refusing to attend any therapies and once they are 18, therapists will not work with them unless they are there on their own accord. FWIW, he is not much different than any of the other adult Aspies who we know. The stereotype of Bill Gates or Einstein is just not our reality nor the reality of any of the adult Aspies we have been around, hence the very real unemployment/underemployment statistics I linked in Jean's thread. Eta: What I would do differently if I could we be to focus high school on career planning and taking the steps for him to succeed in a trade or establishing a small business focused around his intense interests vs. spending all the $$ on academics that we did. Instead we spent a small fortune on education and he works at Goodwill. Not an equitable trade off. If we had spent the same amt of $$, we could have funded supplying a small business start-up which would be more likely to lead to actual independent living and siblings could have helped manage the business developing their own managerial skills simultaneously. Far more win win than where we are today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 You and your daughter might like to take a look at the high school level and other dvds available from The Great Courses: http://www.thegreatcourses.com/tgc/courses/Courses.aspx?ps=902 Linwood Thompson's World History and US History might be a good place to start...he dresses in costume and lectures in the character's voice. It's good to find out what you may want to purchase, and then watch for the sale. All the dvds go on sale at some point; I never paid the full price for any of the dvds that my son was interested in. Maybe take a look at Amazon for other learning dvds. Since she likes to draw, she might like the Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain dvd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Thanks everyone for the input! I would love to deschool, something she probably needs but I feel the pressure of starting high school. I am also a rule follower and I am trying to be more open minded about how schooling can be... As far as movies it is Harry Potter and only Harry Potter...it is her perseverative interest.. I know I could use it as a starting point for academics but I am just not that creative nor do I have the time...work, two other kids, but mostly just no creativity...I know my limits... You can choose to graduate a bit later if you need to do fewer academics at one time. I am considering that option when we get closer to needing to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 Eta: What I would do differently if I could we be to focus high school on career planning and taking the steps for him to succeed in a trade or establishing a small business focused around his intense interests vs. spending all the $$ on academics that we did. Instead we spent a small fortune on education and he works at Goodwill. Not an equitable trade off. If we had spent the same amt of $$, we could have funded supplying a small business start-up which would be more likely to lead to actual independent living and siblings could have helped manage the business developing their own managerial skills simultaneously. Far more win win than where we are today. Thank you for getting specific about this. Our son is good with his hands and a true multipotentiate when it comes to possibly going into a trade--he'd probably do well with nearly any trade he chooses to master. We're considering having him do some career center stuff in HS but also trying to give him a college prep diploma (even if it's so basic he has to do some CC later). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aekmom Posted June 3, 2014 Author Share Posted June 3, 2014 Thank you everyone....right at this moment I am really thinking I am done with public school...she has such a negative association that I don't think anything within those walls will be received well...thinking of piecing together a typical high school course load and then looking towards community college. And like 8filltheheart said I need to focus on getting her to where she can function in the world...counseling, speech and language services etc. She won't even comfortably use a knife cause she might cut herself...school seems to have taught her that the world is a scary unpredictable place... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Thank you everyone....right at this moment I am really thinking I am done with public school...she has such a negative association that I don't think anything within those walls will be received well...thinking of piecing together a typical high school course load and then looking towards community college. And like 8filltheheart said I need to focus on getting her to where she can function in the world...counseling, speech and language services etc. She won't even comfortably use a knife cause she might cut herself...school seems to have taught her that the world is a scary unpredictable place... Good luck. I know that you were worried about trying anything creative to tie her learning to her interest in Harry Potter, but you might consider some of the free on-line resources out there just for a few activities. Here is one designed for a 9th grade classroom so it would probably have to be modified a little but maybe not too much: http://theliterarylink.com/unit_harry_potter.html Hope you find things that work. Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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