mom2bee Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 I have been trying to learn more about Fertility Awareness / Rhythm Method. I'm just...really, really confused in general. This is literally my first foray to all of this type stuff. I thought that I understood human reproduction but I'm just...confused. Can anyone recommend a good book that can hold my hand and walk me through it? Do you know of a really good online guide that I can follow? I found a few articles but some of them seem to be vague (or just over my head) and many of them talk about needing to take classes to fully understand. Have you ever seen a class for FAM/RM birth control? Its frustrating because when I try to find something local, 1) its already embarrassing and 2) it seems that everyone is pushing just the male barrier methods. 3) no one seems to know that I'm talking about, so I just feel like an idiot... I would really like to learn more about me, myself and I so the more popular method doesn't really help with that. I don't want to just start taking pills blindly either but I would like to find something to help me understand the whole process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBMama Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the book I found most helpful. http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399083876&sr=1-1&keywords=taking+charge+of+your+fertility Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted May 3, 2014 Author Share Posted May 3, 2014 We went to a series of classes held by the Couple to Couple League. It is a Roman Catholic organization, and we are not Catholic, but that didn't really matter. If I recall correctly, it was four sessions long, once a week, with "homework" each day. We got an instructional book that had self-quizzes to "practice" reading charts, etc. Very, very useful. Even though we have six kids, they were all "planned", and we are still a fertile couple even though our youngest is 8yo. Oh, are the classes you have to do as a couple? Can just a single person attend or do you need a partner? Can I just call up Catholic groups in my area and ask around for one? I am NOT Catholic, so should I make that clear over the phone or is it okay just show up non-Catholic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted May 3, 2014 Author Share Posted May 3, 2014 Oddly enough, I feel better knowing that this is actually taught in classes all over. Makes me feel less stupid for not being able to figure it all out! One last question: Do you *need* a partner for the class? I'm single, I only wanted to learn more about this because I have a lot of trouble with my cycle and stuff. I know you said that there was a woman who came alone--does being by your self for the class defeat the purpose or anything? Will this class/method prove even remotely useful for a single woman? Currently, there is nothing going on in my area, but I will keep my eye on this site. Thank you Kinsa! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 I don't have anything helpful to say, but a good friend of mine can thank the rhythm method for 3 of her kids. Just an FYI. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted May 3, 2014 Author Share Posted May 3, 2014 I don't have anything helpful to say, but a good friend of mine can thank the rhythm method for 3 of her kids. Just an FYI. ;) Question: So, isn't the rhythm method more of the mans realm of responsibility, because he has to physically withdraw right? Why did they continue to use it once they realized that his control wasn't really exact? Did they take classes/reevaluate after the first Rhythm baby and it still not work? I'm not being snide, I'm seriously asking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Question: So, isn't the rhythm method more of the mans realm of responsibility, because he has to physically withdraw right? Why did they continue to use it once they realized that his control wasn't really exact? Did they take classes/reevaluate after the first Rhythm baby and it still not work? I'm not being snide, I'm seriously asking. They didn't withdraw when she was not supposed to be ovulating, and therefore was not supposed to able to get pregnant. The called it the rhythm method, as in 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off in a rhythm. Because they wanted more kids and sex is more fun that way. I have no idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted May 3, 2014 Author Share Posted May 3, 2014 They didn't withdraw when she was not supposed to be ovulating, and therefore was not supposed to able to get pregnant. The called it the rhythm method, as in 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off in a rhythm. Because they wanted more kids and sex is more fun that way. So, were they trying for children or not? I thought from the wording of your original reply that you were implying that the RM was just not effective because said friend wound up pregnant on 3 separate occasions...But if they were trying to get pregnant then, I am just confused. Is RM so that you know when you can and cant get pregnant? I have no idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted May 3, 2014 Author Share Posted May 3, 2014 (FYI - the CCL teaches the sympto-thermal method, which is WAY different than the rhythm method.) I am still trying to learn the difference between Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) Natural Family Planning (NFP), Rhythm Method (RM) and Withdrawal (W) I didn't even know that there was a Sympto-Thermal method (STM).... Kinsa, I hate to ask because you have already been so helpful, but can you possibly summarize some of these methods for me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Rhythm method and FAM are not the same thing! Not everyone ovulates on day 14. I don't. I have 4 children, all conceived the first month we tried. No pregnancies when we were not trying. If we had used the rhythm method we would have had oops babies. Sympto-thermal is much, much more reliable. I second the suggestion of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. That's how we learned it. We used FAM from 1999 until 2009. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the book I found most helpful. http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399083876&sr=1-1&keywords=taking+charge+of+your+fertility :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the book I found most helpful. http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1399083876&sr=1-1&keywords=taking+charge+of+your+fertility This ^^^ This book explains everything very clearly. There used to be a very active message board but I don't know if it's still around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Also, check out fertilityfriend.com. I only used it after I'd read TCOYF, so I'm not sure how much educational stuff they have on there, but I really liked their charts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2bee Posted May 3, 2014 Author Share Posted May 3, 2014 I will definitely look into getting that book everyone! Thanks for the feedback. heartlikealion--thank you so much for explaining and sharing! At this point in my life, it isn't so much about pregancy or birth control. I am honestly just trying to learn more about *ME* in general. I have spent over 20 years in this body and to tell you the truth we don't know one another all that well. I am trying to rectify that and trying to understand all of this is just meant to be one step along the journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 So, were they trying for children or not? I thought from the wording of your original reply that you were implying that the RM was just not effective because said friend wound up pregnant on 3 separate occasions...But if they were trying to get pregnant then, I am just confused. Is RM so that you know when you can and cant get pregnant? More kids, but not so quickly. Sorry. Yes that's the purpose. It certainly failed them though. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carriede Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. If you still feel the need to take a class afterward, then do so. The book does a good job of describing the different natural methods and will answer every question you've posed on here. My DH and I also took a CCL course (we're Catholic), and TCOYF was helpful even beyond what the course had to offer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 (edited) .... Edited March 12, 2016 by Gil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmeblue Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 I'm another who has found TCOYF an invaluable resource. I've loaned my copy to more than one friend who has then bought her own! I will say that my cycles are pretty textbook, and that makes it much easier to chart them and use FAM. But TCOYF will help you understand your cycles, even if they are less predictable. And I think someone else mentioned it upthread, but fertilityfriend.com is a great place to keep your charts, for free (they have a paid version too, but I've never needed it). I also remember (from when I first started charting and was on another board) seeing recommendations for a book called Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition. I never read it, but a number of people said it was helpful to them. I think it's written from a Catholic perspective and therefore tends more toward the NFP side, but I could be wrong on that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Yep, TCOYF will tell you all of the stuff you need to know. You may find charting your temps to be helpful in learning more about your cycles. I don't find it terribly useful for encouraging conception, because mine doesn't do anything until after I ovulate. Haven't yet used temp charting to prevent conception, though. But the temps can confirm ovulation and help you determine when your period will arrive, if you're not regular. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 There is also this concept: http://www.cyclebeads.com/ I have used a similar idea for years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 CycleBeads seems like the Rhythem Method, right. Very risky for most women if you are trying to avoid, IMO. OP, what about getting some cheap ovulation predictors from Amazon? That would give you an idea when you ovulate which can tell you a great deal about your health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Invest in an electronic fertility monitor. Seriously, it's worth the money. A Persona monitor is designed for avoiding pregnancy, but you would have to order one from overseas. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Persona-Contraception-Starter-Monitor-Sticks/dp/B001DUJZUC The Marquette method uses the Clearblue Easy monitor, which is available here in the U.S. but since it's designed for achieving pregnancy, it's a more complicated method than using the Persona. http://nfp.marquette.edu/monitor_hormones.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 TCOYF is pretty much the Bible on FAM, but I remember finding some sort of insight in the book Garden of Fertility by Katie Singer which was helpful for clarifying. Sorry for the vagueness of that statement - it's been about 10 years since I was reading them, and I can't remember exactly why I thought the second book was helpful, just that I did :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I have the Katie Singer book, but haven't looked at it in a while. I remember thinking it had some useful info above and beyond TCOYF and the CCL book on NFP. However, the author is politically liberal and the book promotes using barrier contraceptives and forms of TeA other than the traditional one. I think it might even have had some pro-abortion language in it, but I don't remember for sure. It's definitely not a book I would recommend to Catholics or other conservative Christians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I have the Katie Singer book, but haven't looked at it in a while. I remember thinking it had some useful info above and beyond TCOYF and the CCL book on NFP. However, the author is politically liberal and the book promotes using barrier contraceptives and forms of TeA other than the traditional one. I think it might even have had some pro-abortion language in it, but I don't remember for sure. It's definitely not a book I would recommend to Catholics or other conservative Christians. Yeah, but I don't think the OP is Catholic. She even said as much earlier up thread, I believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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