Ugh annoying meeting with the school district

[Alexigail]

I guess this is kind of a JAWM post.  I think I just need a hug.  This has been a very stressful month with our sweet DS.

 

I just got done with our "transition meeting" at my son's former school.  They have these for all kids on IEPs who are moving from preschool to kindergarten.  We pulled him out of preschool a couple of weeks ago because the school has had a bunch of "lockdown" days recently and we were sick of being afraid to drop him off.  Plus his anxiety about school was through the roof and I was planning on home schooling next year anyway.

 

So his teacher said we need to meet with the special ed coordinator about receiving speech services next year through the district.  Fine, no problem.  I showed up expecting a brief one on one but there were SO many people there- teacher, speech, ABA, psychologist, psychiatrist (!), school principal, special ed coordinator.  (Half of these people didn't even show up for the IEP meeting, but here they were.)

 

My kids were playing quietly with some toys - they've been to several meetings there and it's never been a problem.  It's a large classroom and neither they nor we were disrupted by the arrangement.   But the school counselor got up and tried to usher them into a different room alone.  Um, no.  Neither of them are your students and there is no reason at all to separate them from me.  My kids were like "do we have to go with this lady" and I just said "No, you're doing a great job, go ahead and play."  The counselor was like "well they wanted to go with me a minute ago."  I'm really baffled why she would ask them in the first place without talking to me about it. <_<   

 

Then they explained to me how tough this whole thing is for them and they have no idea how to do the paperwork since we're open enrolled.  I kind of laughed it off, because I know we're a bit off the beaten path.  But then the special ed coordinator said "We need you to know that we have to dismiss services for the rest of the year because of the choice you made- of course that's your prerogative." 

This make me  :001_rolleyes: because dismissing services was a big reason we were there in the first place and I'm fine with it.  But to say it like that was so strange to me, like "you need to know it's your own fault that your son no longer gets the fabulous opportunity to have 15 minutes of speech twice a week with three other kids - I hope you're proud of yourself."  Then they told me that they had no info yet for where and when we would be having speech next year.  So....what are we even doing here then?!  That was the purpose of the meeting.  I left feeling like the whole point was so that they put on paper that they'd had this meeting and maybe try to make me feel guilty about pulling him.

 

By the way, I'm always friendly at these things and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I used to work with special needs kids in the schools and there's a lot of meetings and legal issues that they have to deal with.  I guess that's why this is a JAWM- I get it, but they really could have emailed me to say they had no info for me yet and saved us a trip across town.  

 

[Tmhearn]

Well, I certainly agree with you about homeschooling. :-) But, I can see where they might feel a little awkward. Essentially, you are firing them by choosing to Homeschool. ;-)

[Tap]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I have a daughter on an IEP in public school and the amount of wasted time spent in meetings, is exponential compared to the amount of productive time in meetings.  :grouphug:   I also find that anything after February, will not be put into effect until the next school year, because it takes too long to get the meetings scheduled......presumably because the staff are running around doing non-productive meetings.  :0(  

[Mergath]

Ugh, the school district here just called to schedule this same meeting for us for dd's speech therapy.  We were going to pull her and do private therapy, but until we have a car again we're going to keep going through the school.

 

I hate the meetings.  I've ranted about them here before.  For us, every single meeting is nothing more than a chance for the staff to explain to me how dd's articulation issues are my fault ("It doesn't matter that she has a rare genetic disorder which causes speech delays, if she was just around other kids all day her speech would be perfect!") and that I'm going to ruin her forever if I continue to homeschool and that I've already started ruining her by allowing her to read so far ahead of a K level because it's "not developmentally appropriate!"

 

:banghead:

 

Obviously things differ from place to place, but for the last meeting, I told them I couldn't make it in person, period, and if they wanted to have the meeting we'd just have to do a conference call.  It still sucked, but having the ability to sit there in my pajamas and sip wine while giving them the finger made the whole thing much less annoying.  

 

But jeez, do they really have to have so many meetings?  They even made us go in for a meeting when we switched dd's fun playgroup/class thing from a morning to an evening class.  Just so they could have another chance to tear me down and talk to me like I'm a naughty dog.

 

Sorry, sore subject for me. ;)

 

[Alexigail]

I've already started ruining her by allowing her to read so far ahead of a K level because it's "not developmentally appropriate!"

 

Ugh, this is the worst.  When I worked in special ed I was told to stop teaching my 4 year old student how to read because although she could do it, it wasn't "age appropriate".    This makes no sense whatsoever.

 

having the ability to sit there in my pajamas and sip wine while giving them the finger made the whole thing much less annoying

 

 

:laugh:

[itsheresomewhere]

If it makes you feel any better- I admit I had enough of crap meetings blaming DS's learning disabilities on laziness when DS was in school.  One meeting I was handed the IEP paperwork and I pulled out my pen and marked the spelling mistakes.  During this meeting, they kept saying how DS's spelling was horrid and he wasn't trying.  So I handed the paperwork back to the team red pen marked of all the spelling errors. Think words like principal/principle type stuff.

 

I don't miss those meetings.  

[wapiti]

.

Edited January 12, 2016 by wapiti

[Mama Geek]

i know this is really off topic, but I am just curious, what do the speech therapists do in the schools anyway?  Is it something that can be learned about online or through books or for someone in the private industry to do.  I have often heard about speech through the school for homeschoolers and am just curious.  

 

OP, I am sorry they wasted your time.

[Ali in OR]

The purpose of the meeting WAS to be able to check off a box that says that a meeting was held. They have to jump through all kinds of legal hoops. I am blessed to have a great staff working with my dd; they are upfront that they are required to have a meeting and they are required to invite everyone who works with dd. They clearly respect me and try to implement whatever I bring up. If I ever felt that they did not respect me or that they were ganging up on me, I would take advantage of my right to invite advocates on my side to the meeting. But I've never felt the need for that--we're all on the same side. And my younger two have come to most of these meetings, like your dc, just doing their own thing in another part of the room--never a problem.

[wapiti]

i know this is really off topic, but I am just curious, what do the speech therapists do in the schools anyway?  Is it something that can be learned about online or through books or for someone in the private industry to do.  I have often heard about speech through the school for homeschoolers and am just curious.  

 

Speech and language pathologists (SLPs) have college degrees in this area of specialty, typically an MS following a BS.  IIRC, there are also state licensing requirements.

 

While there are types of practice "homework" that can be done at home, and there are how-to books available, personally it's not something I'd attempt without at least some professional guidance.

 

There are SLPs with private practices.  Also, most Children's hospitals have SLPs on staff.  Private speech therapy varies widely in price.

[Alexigail]

i know this is really off topic, but I am just curious, what do the speech therapists do in the schools anyway?  Is it something that can be learned about online or through books or for someone in the private industry to do.  I have often heard about speech through the school for homeschoolers and am just curious.  

 

OP, I am sorry they wasted your time.

 

 

Not a waste of time at all!

 

In our case, we do have private speech therapy but it isn't covered by our insurance so we pay a LOT for it every month ( more than we spend on food) - and that's with a discount from the hospital!  I am only holding onto the school services in case it ever becomes impossible for us to afford the private speech.  We're always grateful if my husband gets a raise, but it's also scary since the price of speech therapy is based on income and we could be asked to pay a lot more in the future.  

In the schools, the therapy depends on what is written in the education plan.  It can range from assisting with speech impediments to learning conversation skills / answering basic questions for those with communication difficulties.   

[Mergath]

Ugh, this is the worst.  When I worked in special ed I was told to stop teaching my 4 year old student how to read because although she could do it, it wasn't "age appropriate".    This makes no sense whatsoever.

 

 

:laugh:

 

I think it's code for "your advanced homeschooled child is making us look bad."

[Mergath]

i know this is really off topic, but I am just curious, what do the speech therapists do in the schools anyway?  Is it something that can be learned about online or through books or for someone in the private industry to do.  I have often heard about speech through the school for homeschoolers and am just curious.  

 

OP, I am sorry they wasted your time.

 

For us, the therapist works with dd on saying certain sounds correctly.  She can't make "k" or "g" sounds at all and isn't quite there on several others, so it's pretty much just exercising her tongue to get it strong enough to articulate the right way.  We practice at home too, but it's really boring, annoying work for dd so I'm happy to outsource it when possible.  I've done a lot of my own research, and in our situation there isn't anything more that can be done.  A private therapist would do essentially the same stuff.

[Alexigail]

I think it's code for "your advanced homeschooled child is making us look bad."

 

 

 

Achievement is unacceptable!!

[Plink]

Schools only get funding for special needs if they meet certain criteria, so the overwhelming attendance at that meeting may have been more about making sure that the books reflected that your son was a student this year than about your decision.

 

Sorry they wasted your time.

[LostSurprise]

There is crazy bureaucratic paperwork for any special education/IEP cases. Because these services are protected by federal law there is butt-covering to the nth degree in all cases. 

 

That said, I totally agree with you. It was on them to tell you it was an exit meeting, not one regarding services next year. I guess they didn't think you'd come otherwise.  :rolleyes:  :thumbdown:

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Ugh, the school district here just called to schedule this same meeting for us for dd's speech therapy.  We were going to pull her and do private therapy, but until we have a car again we're going to keep going through the school.

 

I hate the meetings.  I've ranted about them here before.  For us, every single meeting is nothing more than a chance for the staff to explain to me how dd's articulation issues are my fault ("It doesn't matter that she has a rare genetic disorder which causes speech delays, if she was just around other kids all day her speech would be perfect!") and that I'm going to ruin her forever if I continue to homeschool and that I've already started ruining her by allowing her to read so far ahead of a K level because it's "not developmentally appropriate!"

 

:banghead:

 

Obviously things differ from place to place, but for the last meeting, I told them I couldn't make it in person, period, and if they wanted to have the meeting we'd just have to do a conference call.  It still sucked, but having the ability to sit there in my pajamas and sip wine while giving them the finger made the whole thing much less annoying.  

 

But jeez, do they really have to have so many meetings?  They even made us go in for a meeting when we switched dd's fun playgroup/class thing from a morning to an evening class.  Just so they could have another chance to tear me down and talk to me like I'm a naughty dog.

 

Sorry, sore subject for me. ;)

 

:smilielol5: :smilielol5: :smilielol5: