lynn Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Unless your parents aren't fully functional, they are the ones who have to tell her no. You could offer to be there for moral support when they talk to her. The book Boundaries may be helpful to your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Where are your niece's parents and why haven't they taken her in, if she can't or won't support herself? Have you asked your parents if they want you to talk to your niece, or as Zoobie suggested, offered to be there with them when they speak to her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 I agree that you should encourage your parents to say something. I know it is hard. There was a blowup in my family over similar issues, and years later, things are still not back to normal. So I can understand the reluctance to say anything. Is there any hope that the niece will get it together and move out soon? What about bus service or a carpool (or good old-fashioned walking) to take the 7yo to school? Is afterschool care available? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Whoa, four generations living under one roof? It sounds like there is a lot more going on and it's hard to judge what each player should do differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 As difficult as this might be for your parents, they need to be the ones to say something. I would guess they also did not imagine their adult daughter would be living with them too. The problem is that people like this have no motivation to change. It's working for them (meaning your sister and niece). Your parents know that things don't happen in life just because one wishes them to be so. I would guess they feel guilty asking anyone to leave, and perhaps they feel guilty that neither your sister nor your niece have any place better to go (no matter how unfounded that guilt). Do you think your mom is just venting to you? Does your dad feel the same way? Is one of them preventing the other from taking a stand and making the change? Tough family dynamics. But it's not your place to get in the middle. You'll lose. They all have to live with each other and therefore get along. You'll be the bad guy, and no one will be sticking up for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 I totally agree it's up to your parents to lay down the line and give her a 30 day notice. Offer to help niece move once they have that talk, and encourage your parents to do so. If after encouraging them to do so, if they do not, I would not allow myself to be a sounding board for something they proactively aren't trying to address. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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