Homeschool Support

[lexi]

Goodness I'm editing my entire post because the semantics are apparently offensive which was not my intention.

 

How has the "other" person in your life supported you in homeschooling, encouraged you, or helped teach?  How does homeschool work in your house and how can your "other" support you best?

 

If you were to talk to a new homeschool family what advice would you give them in supporting each other in their homeschool endeavor?  If one adult does the majority of the schooling, how can the other person support if not directly involved?

 

I just wanted to hear how the other person in your household has specifically encouraged and supported you.  I was just looking for creative ways that you have been supported or ways that you would want to feel supported. 

 

And I was planning to write my post specifically to dads who are not the main homeschooling parent because my husband often asks me how he can better support homeschooling and I wanted to hear creative ideas that worked in other families. 

 

So while I realize that there are many homeschool households that are not typical (because I don't really think any of us here on this board are what others might stereotype as "homeschoolers") I was thinking more of my own situation since it was something my husband and I had recently discussed.  So I'm not trying to assume or offend. 

 

I would just love to hear creative ideas from everyone here. 

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

I know I rant on semantics, so I won't. If you want perspective from "a dad who homeschools," I promise to not be snarky!

[lexi]

I know I rant on semantics, so I won't. If you want perspective from "a dad who homeschools," I promise to not be snarky!

That would be great!

[lexi]

I'm a little lost - is there something wrong in the way I worded my question?

[JustEm]

I'm a little lost - is there something wrong in the way I worded my question?

 

Possibly, if you are thinking that the mom is the one doing all the home schooling.  That is common but not true for all families.  So you may want to write a letter to the spouse/ significant other who is not the main educator.  

 

 

For me, my dh helps out by taking control of some of the teaching whenever he is able.  He loves having the kids read to him, helping them with phonics or math, and reading/discussing whatever crazy science thing my ds wants to learn.  He also comes up with very creative way to get are high energy son to do his work while bouncing all over the room.  When I'm sitting down planning for the next week he usually asks me what the kids are learning.  Although he has trusted me with picking curriculum and being the main educator he is generally interested in all the theory behind what I've chose and supports me 100% with my decision.  

 

He's never said anything encouraging because I've never really needed it.  More importantly he's never said anything discouraging. If I choose to take a week or a month off because I need it he thinks nothing of it and is happy I'm able to without letting myself stress about getting behind.

 

I would suggest that a supporting spouse(the one who isn't the main educator) makes sure to ask if the other spouse needs help with making the decisions and some of the educating.  Also, understand that their job is to teach the children so its not a big deal if the house is a mess and dinner is take out because they needed to spend extra time helping a kid with math

[Jackie]

I won't speak for Tom, but speaking for myself (and on behalf of my husband), I had assumed from the title "homeschool dads" that you were referring to dads who were the primary homeschool teachers in their household. My husband and I both work outside the home and we both teach our daughter.

Your question is phrased in a way that makes me think you are using "mom" and "dad" assuming traditional roles but what you were really after was "any advice on how a spouse or partner could best support the parent who does all/most of the homeschooling?"

As for us, the best thing my husband and I have learned thus far is to stay out of each other's way :) We are good at different things, we are comfortable with different approaches, and our daughter gets to benefit from all of it when DH and I aren't tripping over each other's plans or trying to figure out how to fit within the other person's style. At some point in the next few years we do intend for me to be the primary homeschooler because my work hours are far more negotiable. At that point, I hope we remember what we've learned, which would mean him supporting me even when I need to stumble through subjects he could cover better, and me being able to recognize when I need to hand over subjects that he can teach in ways our daughter will thrive with.

Edited just to add that I wasn't at all offended, just confused when I first read your original post.

[a27mom]

I wonder if you haven't received a lot of response because a lot of people don't have spouses who endeavor to support or encourage them in homeschooling. My dh's preference would be to send our kids to ps and that I would go back to work. But since my preference for homeschooling is stronger, he is supportive by "letting" me to homeschool. He also is supportive by being willing to live on less income since I would certainly earn a lot more if my kids were both in school.

I really can't expect w whole lot more of him, since it is not his preference.

I do wish I could occasionally express frustration about things, but I really can't because he feels the need to help me "fix it" and his solution is to send them to our lovely little school. But I really don't need anything fixed, just a chance to talk through things sometimes, So maybe one suggestion would be "just listen, don't feel the need to fix it"

[8filltheheart]

My dh doesn't complain if after a long day the house is trashed or dinner didn't get made and doesn't mind spending $$$ on school. He will help fold laundry, clean a disastrous kitchen, and give the 4 yr old a bath when it was the longest day here ever. (But those days here are really not that common. Today happened to be one of them!)

But, that is about it. :)

[Shellie]

I didn't respond initially because I don't have a husband right now. I do this all on my own, by myself, etc. But now I see more the point of your question, so I will answer...

 

When I did have a husband, (or maybe i'm writing this to the future mr. me! :)  ) ways he could have supported me would have been to make dinner once a week, or bring something home so I could have a "night off". Possibly take one subject once a week or so and spend some time teaching it - something I had a hard time getting through to the kids with that maybe a fresh take would have helped them understand it better. Either watching them so I could go to a convention, or finding a sitter so that we could go together. Reminding me that school is not life, and that if the lesson plans for two weeks from now don't get done today, it's not the end of the world! LOL  I really think that support can come in so many ways. Even just letting me sleep in on a random Saturday while the kids played (hoping they didn't make a bigger mess for me to clean in the process) so I could recharge would have gone a long way toward keeping them home.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

My spouse us very supportive of homeschooling and will try to pick up the teaching if I'm sick. He also trusts my judgement when choosing materials and determining direction. Since I do most the teaching and planning he figured I know what works or not.

He does work through higher math with ds14 if he gets stuck, and will help with science labs in the weekend.

[Lara in Colo]

My husband supports me by working extra hard to pay the bills and try to afford my homeschooling materials.  He sometimes can be forced to help me make a decision-- if I lay out all the options in front of him before he falls asleep.

[ShannonS]

I have to constantly fight for homeschooling my four with DH.  We were separated for two years because of a military deployment and now that our family is back together, we are transitioning. He just doesn't get it.  He wants me to just enroll them in PS so I can go back to work full time so we can buy things we don't need.  I'm irritated about it and it is a point of contention around here since his return.  He is trying to be accommodating to what I want, but I think he is just waiting for me to get exhausted/worn out.  Serious philosophical differences coming to the surface over here...

[MomatHWTK]

I don't know of anything creative, my DH is just my partner and friend and acts like one.  No battles over homeschooling here.  We are raising a family together and doing what we feel is best for them together. 

 

He did stop by the store on the way home from work tonight (late shift) and bought me doughnuts and the kids hot dogs, but that's because I'm doing taxes not homeschooling. ;) 

 

OP, you should consider what it is you need and tell your DH that, what someone else wants or needs may be totallly different. 

[ThatHomeschoolDad]

That would be great!

Will do once I can get off this teeny phone keypad and onto the laptop!!

[abba12]

I am very fortunate. I know a lot of homeschooling families struggle with indifferent or even opposed fathers/husbands. In my case, my husband was homeschooled his whole school life. Sometimes I wonder if he isn't more passionate than me! It means I have a lot more support than many people seem to. 

 

He supports me in many ways. He will sit and help me figure out where we are going, our goals, methods etc, and help me with perspective or even just a sounding board. I do almost all of the curriculum research, but when I have it narrowed down to a few options he sits and looks through them with me and helps me make the final decisions. He supports most everything I want to do and is just generally encouraging. It is helpful knowing I am not making the major decisions alone. Having someone to bounce off helps me remain confident. He is also very patient when I get obsessive, and accommodates my obsessions as much as he can, including being happy to do trips with us, etc.

 

In practical ways, he ensures I have a little time to myself to plan each weekend, and tries to give me alone time at least once a week. He also WANTS to do some lessons with the kids. Right now he does the majority of the fine motor/handwriting work with DD1 because, due to my disability, I am not confident at all in this area. He also likes doing some of the funner logic books. We are going to buy one of the early lego education kits for christmas with the specific intention of him doing it with the kids, perhaps each weekend for a month or two.

 

When the kids get older, we expect that he will take over math and science from me, and probably handle a lot of theology as well. We have also talked about, if we ever have a boy, having them become accountable primarily to him as they move into teenagerhood. He is already dreaming up plans of building cool stuff with our eventual teenagers lol (he's an engineer, of sorts, and always regretted not going into robotics when he was young enough to do so risk-free. Sure hope DD1 is interested, because I think she will be getting dragged through at least a little bit of engineering!)

 

Basically, he is just as excited about it as me, and that makes homeschooling so much more natural in our home. As a SAHM the time consuming stuff and tedious stuff will always be my responsibility simply from the perspective of practicality, and I am much better with both organization and written communication, but he wants to be involved as much as he can. This usually means the projects and the fun stuff, but he would not be adverse to sitting down with a child who is struggling with long division either.

[brookspr]

My husband is very supportive of homeschooling, we wouldn't be doing it if both of us weren't 100% invested in the process.  He does all of the math instruction with the kids and also many science-y projects like building a reverb pedal for my daughter's bass or working on the Lego Mindstorms robot with our son. We both have science degrees, so it's not like I couldn't do science or math, but I told him from the beginning I can't do it all by myself so you can do math :)

 

I do most of the curriculum choosing but do pass it by him to make sure he is on board.  He also leads discussions with both kids on the history and literature they are studying.  If I ask him to do something, like take the kids to a class on a Friday since he gets out of work early, he always does.  He drives my daughter to dance class or takes her to her flute lesson during the week. He is also involved with my son's boy scout troop as camping coordinator.  Basically, if I ask, he will do it.  He doesn't always think about doing it himself (especially chores around the house!) but he will gladly help out if asked.

[almondbutterandjelly]

My wonderful dh works very hard and pays for all my curriculum needs and wants.  He built me shelves for our former dining room/now schoolroom, and he built awesome sliding giant white boards for my schoolroom.  He also listens to me babble about curriculum and nods and smiles.  He has tried to help with science and computer literacy, but time is not on our side for that, so that has fallen back to me.