Elisabet1 Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 I am upset about something that happened at my son's college. Basically, he ended up on a floor full of football players. These football players are quite often, not very polite. Some of them even like beating the walls with their heads and fists and there are some holes in the walls. Some door knobs to public areas have been broken off too. There is supposed to be no drinking. He is in a dorm where everyone is underage. Supposedly, the school keeps close eye on it. I always figured some kids would probably sneak around and do it anyway. But, I seriously figured that would involve SNEAKING around, not doing it out in the open. Apparently, the footballers were drunk on Wed night. They were smashing around in the hallways and being very loud, and some of them, acting very angry. They were playing something involving "WWE" or something like that, I think it might be related to video games. Anyway, my son was hiding in his room over this. Then he tried to leave to go to the bathroom and one of the drunk kids shoved him back in his room. He dropped his keys. He waited a short bit and stepped back out in the hallway and the keys were gone. Now he has to pay $150 to replace the keys because no one has given them back. It is $75 a key. He is on work study so he had a key to the office where he is working on campus. Nothing at all has happened or will be happening to the footballers for this. I am quite upset over this. Of course, I will sit back and let him deal with it. He is an adult now. But seriously. I was pushing this college for my daughter, and I think I will back off now. But I am actually worried that all colleges will be like this. This is a football crazy state, the only other state I can compare it to as football crazy is Nebraska. Iowa, MN, CA, and SD are nothing like this (even if they think they are, I have lived in those states, no one can compare to NE and TX in being over the top in to their football). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 :grouphug: That does sound awful. I am sorry he is going through this. Can he request a new dorm? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Perhaps his RA will intercede on his behalf? Another idea: I once taught a remedial math class that had a number of athletes enrolled in it. There was an assistant football coach who came to my office weekly to check up on grades and behavior of the players. While your son needs to handle this, you might quietly find out if there is an athletic staff member with any clout who cares about more than winning games. It may not help your son with the key situation, but it might help with the general behavior since these guys are not playing their sport at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 So, so sorry he had to go through that! I had a great experience most of the time with dorm room living in college, and went to a really great school, but when I went back for the 20 year reunion, and took a tour of our old dorms with friends, we were all honestly pretty appalled at the behavior of some of the current students and all the posters plastered all over campus trying to improve the behavior of the students. Seriously, these people are not 5 years old anymore. Cartoony posters about "sex" etiquette, keeping your area clean, respecting others personal belongings, and bullying are not going to change poor behavior, and if they have to be placed every 5 feet, there is a serious issue with the overall functionality of the school dorm rooms and the students within those walls. It caused me to pause and reconsider dorm room living for my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda in MA Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 So sorry he had to go through that. I second the suggestion that he make a request to switch dorm rooms. At a lot of schools, there are open dorm rooms in the second semester because some kids don't come back to school, so maybe he can apply to get moved (with his roommate if he has one) to a different floor or different building. You may have to help guide him through the process, but he'll have to take the lead. The first step would be to speak with the RA. Best wishes in resolving this, Brenda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in WI Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 So sorry he had to go through that. I second the suggestion that he make a request to switch dorm rooms. At a lot of schools, there are open dorm rooms in the second semester because some kids don't come back to school, so maybe he can apply to get moved (with his roommate if he has one) to a different floor or different building. I third this suggestion. In a book we discussed here awhile back ("Paying for the Party: How College Maintains Inequality"), a key distinction that stood out to me between students that ended up succeeding vs. failing were the students whose parents/older siblings helped them switch out of a bad dorm situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I fourth the suggestion. What a horrid experience! Yes, he has to do the legwork and the contacting, but as his parent, I would not hesitate to push him to switch rooms and to help him work out who to contact and what to say. He might have to persist and tell a number of the people there to support students before he finds one that will help. Does he know the heirarchy of people in charge of dorms? RA is just the first step. Something we here could do to help is to make a list of titles of people who might help. He could try contacting residential services and the dean of students about changing his room as well. I agree that asking to change his room (and in the process, explaining why) is a good way to go about fixing the problem. Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 So sorry this happened to him..Do encourage him to call his RA and campus security if there are any more incidents. Dd's school takes underage drinking seriously...I hope your ds can get moved and get past this. I'm shocked at the key charge- dd's is $10 and we knew that was low but $75 seems high! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkateLeft Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nansk Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 ..In a book we discussed here awhile back ("Paying for the Party: How College Maintains Inequality")... I tried searching for this book title and didn't find the thread. Please link it if you can. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 Definitely, definitely, definitely do what you can (or have him do what he can) to switch dorms or floors. The college years are too short and too important to put up with that kind of treatment. And don't accept "No" for an answer no matter how high up the chain you need to go. I'm another who doubts the RA will be effective, so I'd be checking with Residence Life/Housing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I was an RA and then head RA at a state university 30+ years ago. This type of thing went on all the time in the hall where the rugby players lived, and mostly they were given free reign as long as they paid for it. Then one night they destroyed the hall's bathroom by ripping the plumbing fixtures off the wall, and the water leaked below and destroyed the bathroom on the next floor too. When I finally got the call and got security to investigate, they told me to come and we found the RA drunk and passed out in his room. I had to call the Dean of Housing in the middle of the night to come as well. The RA was fired and those involved were billed for the damage, and that crew continued to be a headache. The school wouldn't let us do anything more than that because they were the rugby team. Ah...college life. I'd encourage my kid to find another room elsewhere in a situation like that. It isn't going to get better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in WI Posted January 19, 2014 Share Posted January 19, 2014 I tried searching for this book title and didn't find the thread. Please link it if you can. Thanks! http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/482991-nyt-article-on-how-college-maintains-class-inequalities/ :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.