picking a college introvert guidance...

[bettyandbob]

my dd has insisted on starting to visit colleges, so though she is in 10th grade we have made some visits. She is incredibly introverted. Beyond being introverted, we are working on speaking up for herself, dealing with public performance (speaking or audition), asking for information herself. I'm purposely putting her in situations where she has to do something (honey, go in the building and ask what parking lot we should use). Hopefully, I can get her to build up some of these basics in the next 2 years. Anyway, that's what she's like. She is on her way to being extremely competitive academically, with more than one year of calculus, 5 years of French, and other high level courses. She has very high grades. 

 

So, she insists she wants a very small school, but she's starting to see some of the small schools are not at the same academic level she is seeking. I'm glad we are starting visits now because it's clear this is going to be hard. 

 

Anyway we visited a very large school (VA Tech) a couple of days ago. She sort of liked it, but the sheer size made her uneasy. The tour guide started explaining a little about "finding your place in the big environment", but he didn't spend long on it because he had so much to cover on our hike through campus. 

 

Have you sent a shy student to a big state university? How did they adjust? Can anyone specifically talk about VA Tech? 

 

 

 

Note: I'm in VA, but I am not pushing my alma mater, William and Mary. While it is small and extremely competitive and I'm proud to have attended, my experiences there were very stressful and there were 2 suicides during the years I was a student. It was a relief to get out of that pressure cooker at graduation. That's not the way I want my dd to look back at college. I will investigate whether the culture has changed significantly since I attended, but I haven't seen it. 

 

Thanks

[dirty ethel rackham]

You are describing my son - not quite as academically talented, but NMS and 48 hours of college credit before he went in.  After reading Colleges That Change Lives, we decided that "fit" was more important than academic prestige.  We had an idea what we wanted out of his major, but knew that he would be just a number at a large university.  He was not assertive at all.  Having him take classes at our local LAC that has a program for talented high schoolers (taking classes with college students) helped him learn to speak up where he needed to.  There were bumps along the road, but I am glad that we hit those before sending him away.  Going to a smaller, but academcally rigorous LAC has been a great choice for him.  He has found his niche.  He has friends.  His professors know him.  He had a paid summer research position.  None of these would have happened for him at our big state U.  He would never have elbowed his way to the front of the line for opportunities.  He likes that it is small enough that he feels that he can participate, but he also likes having an "introvert cave" of a dorm room with a fellow introvert roommate. 

[JennW in SoCal]

You are describing my son - not quite as academically talented, but NMS and 48 hours of college credit before he went in.  After reading Colleges That Change Lives, we decided that "fit" was more important than academic prestige.  We had an idea what we wanted out of his major, but knew that he would be just a number at a large university.  He was not assertive at all.  Having him take classes at our local LAC that has a program for talented high schoolers (taking classes with college students) helped him learn to speak up where he needed to.  There were bumps along the road, but I am glad that we hit those before sending him away.  Going to a smaller, but academcally rigorous LAC has been a great choice for him.  He has found his niche.  He has friends.  His professors know him.  He had a paid summer research position.  None of these would have happened for him at our big state U.  He would never have elbowed his way to the front of the line for opportunities.  He likes that it is small enough that he feels that he can participate, but he also likes having an "introvert cave" of a dorm room with a fellow introvert roommate. 

:iagree:  :iagree:  :iagree:

 

 

There are several of us here who have sent our kids to smaller LACs because the schools are not only a great fit for our introverted, nerdy kids, but they ARE academically excellent and provide many research opportunities.

 

Like Ellen's ds, my son is thriving at one of the Colleges That Change Lives.   He secured a paid research position during his freshman year, spent the summer doing both field research and lab work, and just last week he presented a paper at a major academic conference.  These opportunities would likely not come about at a large state university.  His department is very small, but the faculty are dedicated to teaching and mentoring undergrads, while still maintaining their own research and still publishing.   The academics ARE excellent.  I don't know how to quantify that or how to offer proof of it, but he is challenged and best of all is surrounded by students who love learning.  The atmosphere is cooperative rather than competitive.  Every student must do a year long research project their senior year, so the classes and required coursework is designed to prepare them for it.

 

My ds took classes at the local community college while he was still in high school, and it completely turned him off to the idea of attending a large, impersonal institution.  He did learn to talk with his professors while he was there, learned to navigate the crazy registration process (long story), but while he is an introvert, he generally has no problems speaking up when he has a question or needs something.  But I am glad he had a couple of years on a community college campus, even though it was only a few classes per semester, just so he knew what to expect once he stated the real thing. 

[Gwen in VA]

Do investigate smaller schools. My introvert went to a small highly-ranked LAC and thrived there. Being known is a HUGE benefit to a smaller campus.

 

There are all kinds of smaller schools, many of which are overlooked. For example, we never considered St Olaf, but having visited it I now wish that my older kids had looked at it. It's an academic powerhouse house but with a gentle spirit.

[creekland]

Both hubby and I went to VT and loved every minute of it.  For engineering, I still highly recommend the school.  For an introvert, I'd be checking out smaller schools with a great fit.

 

None of our three boys are going to VT, and while I'm disappointed, I'm also glad they found their personal fits.  Two picked small LACs.  One picked a medium sized research U.  All are (or will be) in the top 25% of students at their school stats-wise, but not so high that they don't feel challenged or like they belong.  They aren't even introverts - it's just the right choices for them.

[MIch elle]

My introverted ds is a sophmore at a very large state U.  He wanted to attended a large school.  He liked the idea of very large classes that he would NEVER be called on to answer a question (they use clickers).  He's learning to speak up for himself but it's taken more of my time during his freshman year than I ever thought would be needed.  It didn't help that 4 weeks into freshman year was diagnosed with pneumonia.  I HAD to get involved.  He's doing well, but it's taken time to learn the system with my help.

 

It's good that you're starting early.

 

 

[Caroline]

I'm an introvert, and I thrived at VT, although I graduated 21 years ago. I was in a tiny (12 people in my graduating class) major--Materials Science and Engineering. I joined a sorority, so I had a group of girls who still have my back. (One recently got in an argument with my sister-in-law when she said something not so nice about me.) I had a tight group of friends from a summer at Oxford, one of whom I married.

 

My oldest is an introvert, and he is now at Georgia Tech. He is in a giant major--mechanical engineering. However, he joined a small fraternity with his roommate. He has a tight group of friends to hang out with. He is doing amazingly well.

 

That said, I had two close friends try to commit suicide when I was at VT, one computer science and one aerospace engineering.(You don't get a 4.0 if your roommate ends up admitted to the mental hospital after you find her when she has taken a bottle of pills, by the way.) The engineering school is tough. There is a lot of pressure. I took 18-21 hours of classes every semester, including at least two lab classes every semester. That said, other majors didn't seem so intense. Architecture seemed more intense. I don't want you to think all is laid back down there in Blacksburg.

 

I have a friend whose daughter graduated from Hollins last year. Although I know she worked hard, she looked like she was having a lot of fun.

[Elisabet1]

Our FAVE college is in VA...College of William and Mary. And it is a smaller state school. 

 

I think an introvert could do fine anywhere! But I also think smaller schools are better for just about anyone (except football players who need a lot of seat warmers at the college to call their football team a higher division).