Mommy22alyns Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Do you know how many times I've had to say this today? Do you know how many times I've had to say it this week??? My kids are driving me nuts. They've done this before off and on and it's ON right now. Sylvia hates it if Becca finishes before her (which practically never happens) and Becca gets mad when Sylvia finishes first. I've told them until I'm blue in the face that rushing will just create more work. I haven't had a total disaster on that front thus far. But I get tired of the bickering! If someone wants to wake up early and start their work, I'm not going to tell them no! I'm really about to tear my hair out. Just tell me I'm not the only one. Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodiesmom Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I don't have any ideas. :-(. Just know you are not alone...not alone.at.all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Separate rooms. Sigh. We get it too sometimes. You're definitely not alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My3girls Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 My youngest is very competitive with dd8. Unfortunately, dd8 has a learning disability so that can be a problem. Dd8 is not competitive about it really, but her feelings do get a little hurt when her little sister does better on some things like spelling. It goes the other way in math often, though, so I try really hard at stressing that we all have strengths and weaknesses. Not sure about the getting done first thing, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Separate rooms. Sigh. We get it too sometimes. You're definitely not alone. Yeah, I had to separate them this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Golly, if it is all about finishing first, I'd give whomever is done first more work. Then, if the second one gets a superior attitude because she wasn't the one who just got herself something else to do, I'd smile and add something onto her workload. Rinse, wash, and repeat until they stop making a big deal of it. But, I guess something is driving this. Or something is underneath the "I'm going to get done first" mentality. Are they just naturally competitive or is there something else (like one-on-one time with you? Time alone in a bedroom? First-one-to-the-radio-gets-to-listen-to-what-they-want?) going on? My dd#3 is 2 1/2 years younger than dd#2, but thinks she should be just as good better at everything than her older sister. Almost everything comes easy to her, so she gets upset if she misses more spelling words or can't memorize a poem as quickly or can't turn her horse as well as one of the other girls. It is her perfectionist personality. I am working at helping her manage her feelings so she doesn't spike into the 'depths of despair' when these things happen. But, I'm fortunate that it is a one-sided competition because dd#2 can't figure out why it matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Do you know how many times I've had to say this today? Do you know how many times I've had to say it this week??? My kids are driving me nuts. They've done this before off and on and it's ON right now. Sylvia hates it if Becca finishes before her (which practically never happens) and Becca gets mad when Sylvia finishes first. I've told them until I'm blue in the face that rushing will just create more work. I haven't had a total disaster on that front thus far. But I get tired of the bickering! If someone wants to wake up early and start their work, I'm not going to tell them no! I'm really about to tear my hair out. Just tell me I'm not the only one. Any ideas? I assign no fixed amount of work, but a fixed amount of school time. Fast learners get the chance to learn more in the same time, instead of spending less time learning the same amount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted October 24, 2013 Share Posted October 24, 2013 Separate rooms, clear expectations, and extra work for anyone who complains, and if mom is in doubt about who is complaining, both get the extra work :) I'm a meanie. You go, mama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted October 24, 2013 Author Share Posted October 24, 2013 Golly, if it is all about finishing first, I'd give whomever is done first more work. Then, if the second one gets a superior attitude because she wasn't the one who just got herself something else to do, I'd smile and add something onto her workload. Rinse, wash, and repeat until they stop making a big deal of it. But, I guess something is driving this. Or something is underneath the "I'm going to get done first" mentality. Are they just naturally competitive or is there something else (like one-on-one time with you? Time alone in a bedroom? First-one-to-the-radio-gets-to-listen-to-what-they-want?) going on? My dd#3 is 2 1/2 years younger than dd#2, but thinks she should be just as good better at everything than her older sister. Almost everything comes easy to her, so she gets upset if she misses more spelling words or can't memorize a poem as quickly or can't turn her horse as well as one of the other girls. It is her perfectionist personality. I am working at helping her manage her feelings so she doesn't spike into the 'depths of despair' when these things happen. But, I'm fortunate that it is a one-sided competition because dd#2 can't figure out why it matters. I think it's just about playtime. They're not competitive in other ways; they get along well and play with each other a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barbarajon Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Children are going to be children, Even when I was in school I used to compete with other children’s in class, And thought to be better than them but later yrs passed by I grew up did my MBA, Never thought I would but when I remember those days I laugh sometimes .That competition is nothing compared to today’s world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Being at the other end of the educational bandwagon (applying for colleges), I'd say channel that competitive spirit. The SAT is competitive, the ACT is competitive, college admission is competitive, getting a job is competitive. Life is competitive. Driving the competitive spirit out of them now is doing them a disservice. They will need it. I'd rather find the answer in teaching them to be good winners and good losers than in teaching them not to care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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