Flexibility - for the teacher

[swimmermom3]

Last night I had yet another opportunity to trot out one of my well-worn homeschooling mantras, "Flexible people don't get bent out of shape." With a twelve hour turn-around time, my youngest received an invitation to take a five-day trip to watch the America's Cup.

 

We started school this week at least for three of the more demanding classes.The trip wipes out two full school days where I have two 3-hour labs scheduled.  Inspired by regentrude's ever-practical posts, I have tried to simplify our plans by having a good road map, and markers of where I need to be at certain points, but rarely scheduling each day exactly. Sadly even still, a request for flexibility tries my patience and makes my palms sweat. It's the first time I have seen Sailordude look anxious too knowing the quantity of work he needed to get through. Thankfully for all of us, the friend he is traveling with is finishing up AP summer work and requires homework time as well.

 

I sent the boy off with two days of independent work, but it took me a while to figure out how to shift assignments around. Is this reasonable? How do you all handle requests for flexibility? Sailordude has always been protective of his downtime. I think this comes from having so little of it during the years he did club swimming. I had to hold his dimpled face in my hands, look him in the eyes, and tell him I would require a Saturday lab session. None of my kids have ever been good at understanding that sometimes you need to do some work at non-work times in order to do the "big playing." I am working to change that with this child. There will always be travel regattas and swim meets and a need to do some work in the car. Fortunately, the sailing team has mandatory homework time on the nights there are travel regattas and most of the kids are serious students.

 

How do you teach them the give and take that is a part of real-life scheduling? I work on school stuff late some nights so I can enjoy Monday night golf during the summer with dh.

[regentrude]

I sent the boy off with two days of independent work, but it took me a while to figure out how to shift assignments around. Is this reasonable? How do you all handle requests for flexibility? Sailordude has always been protective of his downtime. I think this comes from having so little of it during the years he did club swimming. I had to hold his dimpled face in my hands, look him in the eyes, and tell him I would require a Saturday lab session. None of my kids have ever been good at understanding that sometimes you need to do some work at non-work times in order to do the "big playing."

 

How do you teach them the give and take that is a part of real-life scheduling?

 

I found that work that is really fixed and non-negotiable, such as that for outside classes, gets done, no matter what, even if that requires working on weekends or late at night.

When we did all school work at home, I was very flexible and accommodating, because I truly do not believe the need to have a rigid schedule at home: if the math book is not finished on May31, it will get finished on June10; if we do not read all 20 books on the reading list but only 15, that is fine. We have plenty of cushion to have the work we do still rigorous and sufficient. I did not attempt to mimic a college schedule at home and simply trusted that, when my kids are subjected to a rigorous outside schedule, they will have the ethic and motivation to make it work.

It worked beautifully with DD. Since she has been taking college classes, she has been managing her own time extremely well, making sure everything gets done by the deadline and preparing for classes by doing not only the assigned preparations but plenty of extra.

She has clear goals and knows that, for example, the history course that fell victim to her heavy class schedule, had to be completed over the summer - it was not a problem at all, since it had to be on the transcript. My kids are very rational; if the universities she wants to apply to expect xyz, that is enough to make her comply.

 

So, I continue to let DS have a relaxed schedule for the work he is doing for me at home (time on task, but much freedom, and few deadlines). He will do by far enough for solid credits, and we keep a regular schedule, but a special event would not throw us off course. If we don't get done during the school year, we'll just finish up over the summer. He is beginning his first college class with a strict schedule and deadlines, and I can already see him step up and work hard to fulfill those expectations, and taking pride in managing well.

 

Not sure if this was helpful

 

ETA: In the specific situation, I would simply have sent a book with my kid and have him read when time permits ;-)

[Nan in Mass]

LOL - I guess this is one of the advantages of leading chaotic lives.  Mine have always had to do some weekend work.  I was super flexible and before high school, I wasn't too worried about things, but once they hit high school, they HAD to finish that math book every year, etc.  They often finished in the summer if they took trips during the school year.  They worked vacations to finish things.  They understood that I absolutely was not going to put it on their transcript unless they had done enough for me to consider them finished, and they knew they had to have a certain amount of work on that transcript.  They negotiated a lot of assignments but when it came to the more defined things, where there was no flex, they buckled down and got it done vacations, summers, weekends, or whatever.  I would definately let one of mine go watch the America's Cup. : )  I would look at the scheduled work and decide what could be skipped and what had to be completed.  Then I'd explain the price of the trip and rework the schedule.  I, too, haven't found that being flexible at home led to problems with them understanding deadlines outside the home.  They might not always choose to follow the deadlines, but they certainly have followed enough for me to be sure that they understand them.  I don't regret being flexible. : )  I think the trick to getting them to do work at odd times is to convince them that they really have to do it.  That takes a bit of explaining.  Or they hear the panic in my voice GRIN.  What a cool opportunity!

Nan

[Julie of KY]

It sounds like you are both learning flexibility - you in adjusting the schedule and he in the give and take of weekend work in trade for what he wants to do.

 

I am a big picture person in scheduling - I want this done by this month, etc. I have to help my oldest with his daily scheduling to get the big picture done, but I don't stress if we didn't get any chemistry done, if we got caught up in lots of extra math and physics and he doesn't want to put down the lit book.

 

I prioritize some things by every day work; some by get it done by x date; other things I schedule as I desire. I know roughly how much should be done daily/weekly to meet the end goals but I never schedule by the day.

[Teachin'Mine]

When dd was following a daily/weekly lesson plan she found ways to make up for days off that didn't amount to any lost work or much extra work before or afterward.  She'd simply double up on one or two subjects each day for however long she needed, alternating subjects.   If she knew ahead of time that she'd be having time off, then she'd do this ahead of time, but otherwise she just did it later.  Never miss out on the cool stuff on account of school work!  That's one of the perks of homeschooling.   I hope he has a great trip!

[elegantlion]

I hope he has a wonderful time, what an experience. 

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Last night I had yet another opportunity to trot out one of my well-worn homeschooling mantras, "Flexible people don't get bent out of shape." With a twelve hour turn-around time, my youngest received an invitation to take a five-day trip to watch the America's Cup.

 

We started school this week at least for three of the more demanding classes.The trip wipes out two full school days where I have two 3-hour labs scheduled.  Inspired by regentrude's ever-practical posts, I have tried to simplify our plans by having a good road map, and markers of where I need to be at certain points, but rarely scheduling each day exactly. Sadly even still, a request for flexibility tries my patience and makes my palms sweat. It's the first time I have seen Sailordude look anxious too knowing the quantity of work he needed to get through. Thankfully for all of us, the friend he is traveling with is finishing up AP summer work and requires homework time as well.

 

I sent the boy off with two days of independent work, but it took me a while to figure out how to shift assignments around. Is this reasonable? How do you all handle requests for flexibility? Sailordude has always been protective of his downtime. I think this comes from having so little of it during the years he did club swimming. I had to hold his dimpled face in my hands, look him in the eyes, and tell him I would require a Saturday lab session. None of my kids have ever been good at understanding that sometimes you need to do some work at non-work times in order to do the "big playing." I am working to change that with this child. There will always be travel regattas and swim meets and a need to do some work in the car. Fortunately, the sailing team has mandatory homework time on the nights there are travel regattas and most of the kids are serious students.

 

How do you teach them the give and take that is a part of real-life scheduling? I work on school stuff late some nights so I can enjoy Monday night golf during the summer with dh.

 

It sounds like you are doing just the sort of balancing that is required.

 

The other thing I've started doing is very overtly getting the coach involved.  Rutabaga's swim coach (and the entire swim team staff) is on record saying that academics are important and he wants to know if there is a problem.  So when there was a problem last year, I went in to practice and asked which practice we could drop if he was behind with the week's work.  Coach gave his best insight, but also had a good talk with Rutabaga about needing to work on school.  (Coach also gave me good feedback that Rutabaga had in fact been reading school work during the previous meet.)

[PeterPan]

Ok, I'm going to try not to sound flabbergasted here.  He had the chance to take the trip of a lifetime, and you were worried about a couple of CHEM LABS???   :svengo:

 

When you schedule, only schedule out 32 weeks of activities in your course syllabus.  That way you have ROOM for these things.  I know I can give her flex, because I built it in.  That's thing one.

 

Thing two is that your kid should already have known what was required and what he needed to work ahead on to be ready to go.  Why was he looking at you?  He's in 10th grade, not K5.  He should have a list and it should all be very clear.  Might be as simple as one hour time chunks for history and whatnot that he checks off, but it should all be understood at the beginning of the week.  A 10th grader should not be left hanging wondering what their work is.  That will also eliminate the arguing.  I think the reason we don't delineate things is because we don't want to admit that our ideas aren't practical or achievable.  Putting them on paper forces us to admit it wasn't realistic and that something has to be chopped.

 

My dd has a list, and she knows the list has to be done to go out Saturdays, end of discussion.  If she has to wake up early on Saturday to finish, she knows that.  But that's the freedom a CLEAR CHECKLIST gives us.  There are no changes during the week, except possibly if I realize something wasn't realistic and I axe it.  No additions.  If we come upon an opportunity on the fly that can't be worked ahead to accommodate, no biggee because we have that cushion I built in 32 weeks of work vs. 40 or even 36).  

 

I tried out a new schedule format this week.  Might give you some ideas, or might look nutso to you.  Oh, and when I made all my syllabi, I tallied the hours of work and spread them over the 32 weeks.  So it's not that she's doing less work, but I made the chunks such that they can be done in 32 or 33 rather than 36-40 weeks.  Much more realistic to our lives that way.

 

Sorry, the image was too big and my company is here, meaning I don't have time to upload it another way.  Anyways, that's how we handle it.  It's the only way to blend my propensity to lists and OCD and her propensity to spontenaity.  ;)

 

[Mom22ns]

Ok, I'm going to try not to sound flabbergasted here.  He had the chance to take the trip of a lifetime, and you were worried about a couple of CHEM LABS???   :svengo:

 

:iagree:

 

We schedule 36 very full weeks of school, but when a great opportunity comes along we ditch all but what isn't flexible (as defined by Regentrude above), take along a book or two to read as time permits and go! If I know enough in advance, I rework the schedule. If not, we work on weekends, extend the semester into Christmas or summer break. It doesn't matter how we flex, we flex!

 

Dd and I are taking a trip to the Dominican Republic in October. I had the fall semester all scheduled when we decided. We had just found out about the opportunity the week before we were scheduled to start school in August. We jumped in and started school early to make it work. If we hadn't found out until after school had started, we'd have shortened our Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks to make it happen. On the other hand, ds who is dual enrolling won't be able to come because one of his teachers penalizes heavily for missing more than one class and the trip would make him miss two. 

 

Enjoy flexibility while you can. It disappears all too quickly.

[Barbara H]

It sounds like a very exciting trip.  I'd see this situation as a learning opportunity. How does he want to make this work? What is his plan to stay on track?  He needs to lead the problem solving and now is a great chance to develop those skills before he's in college.

[swimmermom3]

I found that work that is really fixed and non-negotiable, such as that for outside classes, gets done, no matter what, even if that requires working on weekends or late at night.

When we did all school work at home, I was very flexible and accommodating, because I truly do not believe the need to have a rigid schedule at home: if the math book is not finished on May31, it will get finished on June10; if we do not read all 20 books on the reading list but only 15, that is fine. We have plenty of cushion to have the work we do still rigorous and sufficient. I did not attempt to mimic a college schedule at home and simply trusted that, when my kids are subjected to a rigorous outside schedule, they will have the ethic and motivation to make it work.

It worked beautifully with DD. Since she has been taking college classes, she has been managing her own time extremely well, making sure everything gets done by the deadline and preparing for classes by doing not only the assigned preparations but plenty of extra.

She has clear goals and knows that, for example, the history course that fell victim to her heavy class schedule, had to be completed over the summer - it was not a problem at all, since it had to be on the transcript. My kids are very rational; if the universities she wants to apply to expect xyz, that is enough to make her comply.

 

So far, the part in bold seems to be the case here too. Ds's outside AP course was what made him hesitate about the trip; he has a tricky essay and some reading that will take a fair level of focus. He took the book and his computer and will have WiFi access, so I am confident that work will get done.

 

It's the work for me that may suffer. I can afford to extend the chemistry course if need be, into the summer, but I cannot do that with the AP European History class; there is specific material to be covered by early May for the test. The second part in bold will make sense to my son when framed in that manner and I think I may get less push back.

 

 

So, I continue to let DS have a relaxed schedule for the work he is doing for me at home (time on task, but much freedom, and few deadlines). He will do by far enough for solid credits, and we keep a regular schedule, but a special event would not throw us off course. If we don't get done during the school year, we'll just finish up over the summer. He is beginning his first college class with a strict schedule and deadlines, and I can already see him step up and work hard to fulfill those expectations, and taking pride in managing well.

 

Not sure if this was helpful

 

ETA: In the specific situation, I would simply have sent a book with my kid and have him read when time permits ;-)

 

Regentrude, as always, your input is most helpful. Through most of middle school, I had elaborate daily plans for ds. However, by eighth grade his academic progress and interests were so erratic (in a good way) that I found that I have to be more flexible with high school planning.

 

You wrote a while back that for chemistry your dd just read through the Chang text, took tests (I think?),

and did the labs when it worked to do them - that they weren't always lined up with the text. I think you follow the same approach when using TTC lectures - you listen to them when you can.

 

We have a bunch of stuff to get done over the long weekend, but your comments here and on some previous threads have sparked the beginning of a plan that I think will allow us more flexibility, but will still hold my son accountable for finishing his work, without always making me the enforcer. Ds is a bit of a dawdler and a highly-skilled, rational negotiator; I'll have to take that into account.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[regentrude]

You wrote a while back that for chemistry your dd just read through the Chang text, took tests (I think?),

and did the labs when it worked to do them - that they weren't always lined up with the text. I think you follow the same approach when using TTC lectures - you listen to them when you can.

 

That is pretty much correct (she did not just read the text, but also worked assigned problems from the end of each chapter). But yes, the labs happened when DH was available to do labs with her. Usually some Saturday mornings. I see no need to align the labs with the text, as long as we make sure the theoretical material has been covered at some point before the lab.

And yes, we use the TC lectures independently from the text and literature readings. We correlate loosely: currently DS is reading the Iliad, so he listens to the Iliad lectures and not the Middle ages, of course.

I simply do not find it necessary to plan what happens when, not for one single student.

[katilac]

Ok, I'm going to try not to sound flabbergasted here.  He had the chance to take the trip of a lifetime, and you were worried about a couple of CHEM LABS???   :svengo:

 

When you schedule, only schedule out 32 weeks of activities in your course syllabus.  That way you have ROOM for these things.  I know I can give her flex, because I built it in.  That's thing one. <snip>

 

 

:iagree:

 

We schedule 36 very full weeks of school, but when a great opportunity comes along we ditch all but what isn't flexible (as defined by Regentrude above), take along a book or two to read as time permits and go! <snip>

We don't build in that much flex (32 weeks instead of 36), because I can't count on some awesome opportunity every year, and I *know* we won't automatically fill in that flex time with intriguing and worthwhile schoolwork if it doesn't, lol. So we plan a full year, with some idea of what can be adjusted as needed.

My kids are also not good at understanding the weekend work exchange rate, lol. Or, rather, they understand it, but still don't like it. I think you just have to repeat it and point it out over and over.

 

"Well, let me get this school stuff done tonight so I can golf with dad tomorrow."

 

"Hey, do you want to plan on finishing that history project Thursday night so we can end early on Friday?"

 

Some kids just 'get it' and others need to have it pointed out, repeatedly, lol. Even though I have always tried hard not to have a 'school at home' mindset, this is the first year that my youngest will start working on her own if she happens to be up early - she's in 8th grade! Before this year, she was *not* going to be starting schoolwork if her sister wasn't, lol. It's slow but we're getting there.