Tired of the mean words

[Garga]

My family likes to joke around.  We do it a lot.  Normally, it's fine, but lately my children haven't known when to stop and they're getting increasingly acerbic. We need to all stop the joking and use our words to be kind to one another.

 

I can remember some sort of checklist people use that I think spelled out a word when you took the first letter of each item on the checklist and put them in order.  Something like, "Are your words Necessary?  Are they Uplifting?  Are they Kind?"

 

Ok, maybe they don't spell a word (unless NUK is a word) but there's some sort of checklist I've heard people use.  If you can't answer "yes" to all of the questions on the checklist, then the words shouldn't be said.  

 

Does anyone know what I'm talking about?  

 

I have a feeling this will be a very hard habit for us all to break (myself included) and something catchy will help us to stop and think before we speak.

[Dandelion]

Can't help you with the acronym, but the checklist I remember is "Is it true?", "Is it kind?", and "Is it necessary?".  It's something we're working on with our kids too.  :grouphug:

[Garga]

Julie--that's probably it:  True, Kind, and Necessary.  I didn't want to leave one out, but I'm thinking that was all there was to it.  Thank you!

[Zuzu822]

It's "think!"

 

Are your words...

 

TRUE

HELPFUL

INSPIRING

NECESSARY

KIND

[Peace out muffins]

THINK T – is it True H – is it Helpful I – does it Inspire confidence N – is it Necessary K – is it Kind – Adapted by Michael Josephson from unknown original source.

 

http://whatwillmatter.com/2012/04/worth-seeing-poster-before-you-speak-think-before-you-speak-think-t-is-it-true-h-is-it-helpful-i-does-it-inspire-confidence-n-is-it-necessary-k-is-it-kind-adapted-by-michael-josephs/

[Tammyla]

I'm not sure about the list, but it sounds like the Golden Rule would work. 

[nd293]

Here's a nice THINK poster.

 

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/119679615/Before-You-Speak-Think-Poster

 

I have it as the screen image for my phone, and there was a stage where I handed it to dd regularly and had her check whether her interactions with her younger brother were meeting those criteria.

[MommaOfalotta]

THINK T – is it True H – is it Helpful I – does it Inspire confidence N – is it Necessary K – is it Kind – Adapted by Michael Josephson from unknown original source.

 

http://whatwillmatter.com/2012/04/worth-seeing-poster-before-you-speak-think-before-you-speak-think-t-is-it-true-h-is-it-helpful-i-does-it-inspire-confidence-n-is-it-necessary-k-is-it-kind-adapted-by-michael-josephs/

Yup!

 

I came across this on pinterest.

 

Not much to add, but OP my family is the same way.

[Dandelion]

Here's a nice THINK poster.

 

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/119679615/Before-You-Speak-Think-Poster

 

I have it as the screen image for my phone, and there was a stage where I handed it to dd regularly and had her check whether her interactions with her younger brother were meeting those criteria.

 

I'm going to print this. Thanks!   :)

[Cricket]

My kids have the "is it true" part down. "But, Mo-oooom, it's truuuuuuuue!" Grrrrr......

[Garga]

You guys are awesome! Thanks for the help.

[Guest]

My family of origin is that way too, but my 21 year old is not. You can break the cycle.

[happypamama]

I have mine stop and rephrase something. If they're joking around, there's usually a gentler way to say something. And if they're being unkind, I can get them to focus on the behavior that is bothering them ("Sibling, that noise you're making is distracting me," rather than "Sibling, you're dumb"). I like scripting things for them In the right way, so that it gets programmed into their noggins.