Jean in Newcastle Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 Dear Library Patrons, I come to the library for a quiet working place - not to feel like I'm at the town watering hole. Please exercise your children elsewhere and socialize your dogs elsewhere and take your phone calls elsewhere and catch up on all the neighborhood gossip elsewhere. Your neighborhood curmudgeon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 Dear Electricity Supplier, When the meter reader accidentally misreads our meter by 1000 kilowatt hours and we get a bill that nearly gives me a heart attack then I have to call and talk to 3 different people to get another meter reader to come out to re-read the meter and the electric company fixes their half of the bill to reflect the error, it would be nice of you to not charge us your supply rate for the old, erroneous kilowatt hours on our new "supposedly" fixed bill. I really loved having to call and listen to your automated system for the 4th time before finally getting to a human to whom I could explain the situation for the 4th time before getting my bill corrected completely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted August 2, 2013 Share Posted August 2, 2013 Dear Migraine Headache, Really? You visit me once a year, maybe. Now that DD is visiting family for a week, I have time well-planned to be divided between organizing the office/dump room and sipping margaritas while watching R-rated movies, and you visit me FIVE TIMES. Nothing accomplished, plus $100 doctor visit to make sure my brain isn't exploding. Thanks a bunch. Signed, This Was Supposed to be Fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peachskittles Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Dear Current Landlord, If you talk about my behind my back to my sisters, they WILL tell me. I guarantee it. I do not care how angry you are that you are losing not only one, but two tenants within a short amount of time. Keep your rude comments to yourself. Threatening that I need to move sooner will not get me to move sooner. Telling me I will never receive my deposit back even if I clean it perfectly will result in you losing your rent for our last month here.* Also, telling me I need to repair the damage that the owner did to this place is not going to fly. I only fix what we damage. I gave you my 30 days notice, you need to accept it and move on. Signed, Your soon to be ex-tenant *I am sure with this statement I might anger some landlords on this site. I apologize in advance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Dear Bronchitis, Please go away. Please. I have other things to do besides lie in bed and cough up my lungs. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffnkids Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Dear packrat- You do not NEED 6 broken desktops, 3 broken laptops, 3 broken monitors, and 2 broken printers 50 black T-shirts, 12 pairs of "painting" shorts, and 3 disintegrating pairs of "working in the yard" sneakers 30 philips head screwdrivers 1 broken twin bed frame, 1 collapsing dresser, 1 ancient nonfunctioning big screen TV + so many other things -Signed, Running out of room Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inmyopinion Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Dear person in our group who lies all the time, Please stop. Although your ability to lie has reached epic proportions and may qualify as an Olympic event, I am no longer able to contain myself from grilling you on every detail as I watch you make it up on the spot. I cannot help but think that if you would channel the energy and imagination you put into lying about the most benign things into something productive you could rule the world. Signed, the person who will pay for your pathological liar therapy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Dear wife of the owner of the company, You and your husband work in a company of about 20 employees under one roof. I'm sure you really do know whether your particular issue falls under the jurisdiction of the office manager. You could have walked 30 feet and talked to her about it. Or you could have left a note for me in the cleaning supplies closet. You really didn't have to write an official memo to the office manager and copy your husband on it. signed, the woman who is subbing for the regular cleaning person while he is on vacation this week P.S. Yes, I have noticed that there are bugs on the "floors and carpets". However, "everywhere" is a gross exaggeration. I vacuum them up every evening, and there are more the next evening when I come in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 Dear lawn dude across the street, You are the most inefficient trimmer ever. Does it really take more than an entire freaking hour to trim a medium-sized suburban lot? And why did you have to begin before 8am, the one day of the week I am allowed to sleep until 8:30? Had I known you were to visit us I would never have been up after midnight. Signed, Cranky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted August 3, 2013 Share Posted August 3, 2013 An additional note: Dear wife of the owner of the company, When I walked through the office building at 10:00 last night, there were no bugs to be seen. When I returned this morning at 11:30 to look, there were over a dozen of those nasty crawling things that curl up into balls just in the lobby by the front door alone. My conclusion is that this truly is a pest control issue, not a cleaning issue. sincerely, the sub who won't be doing this again P.S. Perhaps one of the ladies in the office could teach the men how to put a fresh roll of toilet paper on the holder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted August 4, 2013 Share Posted August 4, 2013 I was thinking about this thread... and I decided I would take the time to write an actual letter about something I was upset about, instead of sharing it with just with you all. Thanks for listening-- here is the letter I emailed: To the Editors of Kids Discover, We receive a gift subscription at our home. This month's issue is about the Aztecs. There were two illustrations of human sacrifice, graphically depicting blood and guts. These are completely inappropriate images for children of the age who read your magazine. My son is 8. Obviously human sacrifice was a part of Aztec culture, and an important part, but there is no need to do more than mention it in the text. Gory pictures and illustrations are not necessary. I am really very angry and offended that this material was sent to our home to shock and horrify my child. In the future I will be prereading every page of every issue. We received this magazine as a gift and I think the giver would be as disgusted and horrified as I am. I expect an apology and an explanation of how you will edit illustrations more appropriately in future. Thank you. Other than this one thing our family has enjoyed the magazine and found it educational and nicely done, so we were disappointed this time. Sincerely, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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