I always feel two steps behind...how do I get ahead?

[Slipper]

My middle daughter (6th grade) is a self-motivated learner. This past year was both great and awful (our first home-schooling her). We had a major distraction a couple of months into the year that affected our whole year. This particular daughter was left mostly alone for the year and happily did everything (except math, but she's focused on that this summer). She is thriving on her own.

 

My problem is that I can assign something like two chapters in math, one chapter in history, Bible work and her daily science lesson. A couple of hours later, I'll check back and she's completed everything and is working on a power point presentation on the history of influenza and it's impact on lungs in the elderly. That is nowhere on my list of things to accomplish.

 

I'm happy that she's interested in doing things, but she's so scattered. She'll bounce from that to working on a report and tri-fold presentation on Italy. Then she'll read obsessively about hurricanes. Then read dictionaries, then study rattlesnakes.

 

Her interests are so varied (factoring in crafts, artwork, piano, exercise) that she's starting to drop projects. (Not to mention the path of destruction she leaves behind her of books, papers, ribbons and fake organs). I'd like to organize her. I know that many of you have kids who race through interests (and do them quite well). How do you shape and guide this quest for knowledge to help develop other skills? (For example, she can't write papers as public school never covered that).

 

I feel like I'm doing her a huge disservice. I can somewhat keep up with her regular schoolwork, but she's capable of stretching educationally and I want to help her develop in that area.

[AK_Mom4]

I may not be much help - I forced DD12 to FINISH projects and that slowed her down some and reduced some of the path of destruction she leaves behind.  Not her "fun" projects, she still leaves those around everywhere, but the things she does for school have to be finished before she can go on to the next one. 

 

As far as writing 6th grade papers, for DD12 all I needed to do was print off a rubric so she had guidelines on HOW to write one and then turn her loose.  But then, we have been working slowly on writing skills all along (topic sentences, outlines, paragraphs and now papers) so it wasn't as big of a jump.  I really like the Hake Grammar and Writing materials, but if I was starting from ground-zero, I would probably go get WWS #1 and start there.

[quark]

I suggest you stay well out of her way. :D Seriously.

 

If you really feel a need to guide her, work with her on improving her writing skills. That's what I'm doing with my son who sounds very much like your daughter, only less disciplined. :)

[regentrude]

From your description, I do not really understand the problem: she completes all the work you assign her in record time and THEN goes onto work on a variety of self-designed projects? That's fabulous! I do not believe she needs to finish every single project she started; the point is to explore topics until her interest is exhausted. As long as the minimum of work assigned by you gets done, what is the issue?

I have similar kids, and at that age handled it very simply by stipulating a certain amount of time I needed them to spend on school work, using materials I had chosen. They could select what to work on for how long; only math had to be done daily, and they could always suggest other materials and resources to use. I do not think there is any specific content that must be covered before high school and am very happy with this kind of self directed learning.

It sounds as if your DD is doing great and learning a ton! I would give her as much freedom as possible, and only mandate very few basic subjects - and let her learn freely as much as possible. If you are worried about her writing skills, tell her that she should write a  report about her next research interest, instead of a presentation. Then let her run with it.

This approach has worked extemely well for us, and a transition to more formal work in high school was not a problem.

 

ETA: Btw, I do not plan. I like to use my student's excitement and energy that gets them to go on history or science binges and overthrows every schedule by the second week. I let them learn at their speed. Being a self-directed learner will be a huge asset and more important than covering a certain set amount of curriculum.

[Slipper]

Yes, she does everything I ask. Our deal is that she finishes what I ask her to do, records her work in a planner (including grading any tests and listing her grades). In return, I try to purchase the things she asks for (microscope, prepared slides, solar learning kit, snap circuits, etc). Some days she'll do her work and then do fun things for the rest of the day (she's working on a quilt, writing a gluten free cookbook, outfitting a dollhouse in origami furniture, etc) and other days she focuses on a project that is academic.

 

I feel like if I could focus her attention, she would be really great in one area (although she does well in all areas, even extra-curricular). I know she wants to do scientific research for a career but I have no idea how to get her there. I keep thinking we should try to guide her somewhat. But, maybe not?

 

I'll work on writing in the way suggested by AKMom.

[regentrude]

I feel like if I could focus her attention, she would be really great in one area (although she does well in all areas, even extra-curricular). I know she wants to do scientific research for a career but I have no idea how to get her there. I keep thinking we should try to guide her somewhat. But, maybe not?

My philosophy is that childhood is the time to try a variety of things - NOT the time to focus or specialize. Some children do have a strong focus on a single area, and that's OK, but there are many children who do not. The way to get her to be a scientist is to not stifle her curiosity! Let her experiment and explore, and keep an eye on her math progress; in high school you can then make sure that she studies science systematically. But the most important prerequisites for a scientist are curiosity and critical thinking.

 

My DD is very well rounded with no pronounced focus area. I am, too. I happened to become a physicist and am happy with it, but I might equally well have been an opera singer, a writer, or a historian. I did not decide until I had to apply for college. I enjoy having a variety of interests; it makes me very happy even now, as an adult, to do many different things.

 

For a 6th grader, I see absolutely no need to steer them into one particular direction. I see education through high school as a way to explore possibilities and keep doors open; my goals are to instill a love of learning, to nurture curiosity, to teach critical thinking - but definitely NOT to focus my kids into one particular area.

[Tracy]

I have a dd8 that is very much like this and a dh whom she takes after.  :)   It is very helpful to have the adult version living in my home so that I can see what she will turn into.  Dh never had anyone helping him with any of this, so I can expect dd8 to develop into a version of him if I don't help her at all.  Dh has so many varied interests and lots of projects always going on.  Many of them he never finishes, but he finishes the ones that matter most--the ones that he does with the kids, the ones that he needs for teaching classes, the ones that other people are depending on him to do.  Most of the time I am okay with that.  The only time it bothers me is when there are piles of stuff laying all over the place (like the 6-ft catapult in the garage, the parade-size chinese dragon, and the full size archery targets), but we are working our way through that issue pretty well.  

 

My perspective is that my job is to help dd8 organize those things that she has to do, such as hygiene, chores, and assigned schoolwork.  She also needs some help organizing the physical components of her crafts and activities.  I don't put limits on what she does, but I try to help her to organize what she is doing.  I help her to find places to store things, and I expect her to clean up her messes.  If it is a bigger project than she ordinarily can handle on her own, I help her to develop a long-term plan (as in doing a little per day), but if she loses interest, I just let it go.  She is always working on something, and I do not want to stifle her creativity.  As she matures, I am confident that she will be able to do more and more, and that she will respond to natural deadlines.  

[dharmacat]

The only time it bothers me is when there are piles of stuff laying all over the place (like the 6-ft catapult in the garage, the parade-size chinese dragon, and the full size archery targets)

 I can completely understand the frustration on your part, but at the same time...that is COOL!  :lol:

[quark]

I have a dd8 that is very much like this and a dh whom she takes after.  :)   It is very helpful to have the adult version living in my home so that I can see what she will turn into.  Dh never had anyone helping him with any of this, so I can expect dd8 to develop into a version of him if I don't help her at all.  Dh has so many varied interests and lots of projects always going on.  Many of them he never finishes, but he finishes the ones that matter most--the ones that he does with the kids, the ones that he needs for teaching classes, the ones that other people are depending on him to do.  Most of the time I am okay with that.  The only time it bothers me is when there are piles of stuff laying all over the place (like the 6-ft catapult in the garage, the parade-size chinese dragon, and the full size archery targets), but we are working our way through that issue pretty well.  

 

My perspective is that my job is to help dd8 organize those things that she has to do, such as hygiene, chores, and assigned schoolwork.  She also needs some help organizing the physical components of her crafts and activities.  I don't put limits on what she does, but I try to help her to organize what she is doing.  I help her to find places to store things, and I expect her to clean up her messes.  If it is a bigger project than she ordinarily can handle on her own, I help her to develop a long-term plan (as in doing a little per day), but if she loses interest, I just let it go.  She is always working on something, and I do not want to stifle her creativity.  As she matures, I am confident that she will be able to do more and more, and that she will respond to natural deadlines.  

 

Lol, this sounds so much like us. Instead of catapults and dragons we have tons of rockets of all sizes, some built from scratch, some they bought as kits then built, some fired with smudges of black here and there, and lots of found materials laying about that are somehow going to morph into rockets and I have no idea how. We have styrofoam everywhere (aaargh, I agonize about the environmental effects) for padding and other purposes. We have wires everywhere in various stages of being connected into various circuits for various electronics and electromagnetic projects. When I step into the garage, I automatically avoid looking to the left because I know that my clean-freak, anti-clutter personality will go into full panic mode. I have no idea how to document any of this either.

 

Then we come to learning materials inside the home...we have books everywhere. We have a Shakespeare learning journey and a Lord of the Rings (plus other Tolkien works) learning journey going on at the same time that again I have no idea how to track or pin down into some sort of organized whole.

 

Learning is messy...when one has a learner who obviously loves to learn, one more often than not ends up stifling that joy by expecting it to be in neat little boxes. I know this because I tried to do this not so long ago.

 

ETA: OP, I'm not trying to prescribe or dissuade you, actually I am empathizing with you because I often feel the same way. One way that I do try to provide some direction is to intentionally purchase/ borrow/ check out books and materials that are more obviously mathy because my son has very specifically indicated to me that his interests lie in that area. And I arrange the books in shelves in such a way that the math books are most eye catching. But I also populate our home with a bunch of other things that might pull his interest some day. So perhaps, some kind of macro guidance or management could still be given in a subtle way to your DD but let her do the micromanaging herself? You have obviously done something right to help her love learning so much. :)

 

ETA: I save all my Amazon boxes, shoe boxes, and scout out discounted wicker baskets because storing these bits and pieces in neat little boxes help ME feel better. I can't control the learning mess into boxes but I can at least control to some extent how the materials are stored. We have lots of wicker baskets filled with origami projects too...oh I feel your pain!

[quark]

One more thought...I am trying to read mathematician and scientist biographies/ autobiographies whenever I can. Admittedly I do not get to them as often as I want to. but almost every snippet I have read about their amazing childhoods is similar in some sense at least to what your DD, my DS, regentrude's kids, Tracy's DD etc are doing of their own accord. This intense need to immerse themselves in as many creative experiences as possible are all indicative of a burning, curious and often highly organized mind...not the lack of it. I console myself with these books. :)

[CupOCoffee]

I've only skimmed most of the responses here, but I get the idea that most here feel like me: if it isn't broke, don't try to fix it!  She sounds like a dream to me!  Let her go in any direction she wants.  I bet in a year or two, she'll decide on her own what to "focus" on.  For now, just keep feeding her interests, it's GREAT that you can.  She's doing what you require, and way more.  Let her have it!

 

~coffee~

[Bang!Zoom!]

You mentioned early on that there was some sort of event that pulled you away and put her in a more independent realm. Sounds like that is over for now and you are feeling a bit lost during your first year; you'd mentioned that *you* wanted to feel more organized about it, right?

 

Is there some type of space you could carve out, say even ten minutes..at the end of each day to just sit down and chat with her on what she learned (rather than reviewing papers so much) - what she thought about, what she'd like to do next, what caught her eye, what she disagreed with...what she isn't feeling "sure" of..

 

Just a battery of conversation to connect the two of you more one on one type thing.

 

You might discover some leading clues or gaps that way and feel more in control of her direction.

 

As the others have said, she sounds like a great girl who's very engaged. I think maybe if you sit with her and have some talk time, you'll reveal her place in things and get a few surprises, as well as show her that you are involved and interested in the small things she takes on as well.

[Dmmetler]

I think always feeling a step behind is a normal state for parents of self-motivated learners. I know I do, and my DD is only 8. I've really had to let go (and it wasn't easy) the concept that homeschooling should be her, snuggled by me on the couch, learning from me, because in many cases it's more like "Go away and leave me alone-and, later on (hours, days, or weeks later) "Mom-come look at this!". It's not unschooling, I don't think-in some respects, it seems less adult driven and involve me LESS than my unschooling friends are allowed to be involved. It really feels like what DD needs from me is my driver's license, my credit card-and for me to, mostly, get out of her way.

 

And it stinks at times. Sometimes literally, depending on what the project du jour is!

 

 

 

[kbutton]

As a mult-project person, I can tell you that it's a great way to exercise all that intellectual overexcitability. One reason I often have more than one project at time is that every project requires some times of dormancy so that ideas can settle. If I hit a roadblock with project A, I can work on project B until I have some sudden insight into what's gone wrong with A. I also like variety. This suited me well in the work world. I worked as a technical writer, which required a big variety of skills (at least in my particular job). Most of my projects were actually several little projects in one that all required monitoring, progress, and bursts of energy at the right time.

 

If you need to limit her because of budget, space, etc., maybe you can talk it through with her, and she'll have some ideas of her own.

 

I agree with previous posters that not all kids specialize. I like being a generalist, though it made finding a major in college a huge headache. I think there are some articles online about multi-potentiality (maybe on SENG's site).