Would This be Okay?

[canadianmomtofour]

We have had a terrible year. Lots of burnout on both my part and the kids. I have a complete overhaul planned for next year and I hope it will be a lot better! What I really want to do is focus on math and writing for the rest of this year with lots of reading and some documentaries thrown in. I'm struggling with guilt though, and I need permission! Is it okay to do this, or should I suck it up and get on with it?

[Tita Gidge]

Gosh, it's way more than ok!

 

You know the whole "lead a horse to water, can't make it drink" thing? There's no point trying to work through burnout (on both ends, no less) just for the sake of saying you've held to your previous schedule. If you're burned out, you're burned out ... you won't be learning much, and instead of guilt it'll be frustration you're dealing with. Not worth it.

 

Lose the guilt, and give yourselves this chance to do the basics, re-charge, and be prepared to return to full steam next year.

 

Really. This is the BTDT voice of experience talking.

 

ETA: Also the voice of experience, be ready for a wee bit of a breaking in period when you go from low-key basics to full-steam academics. When we were ready to get back into full swing, I gradually reintroduced one subject each 2nd-3rd week rather than try to jump right back into all subjects, all day. It added about 3 weeks to the end of our school year but was definitely worth it. I'm convinced we'd have had those extra days anyhow due to early rebellion had I tried to go from relaxed to rigorous without an adjustment period.

[PachiSusan]

It is absolutely okay.

[SunnyDays]

Of course it's okay! Hit the basics, read good books, and regroup for next year. Lots of people are winding down at this point!

[happypamama]

I vote absolutely okay! A break is good for everyone, mom included!

 

I also suggest ramping up gently when you start back. We're starting with a few subjects and adding more weekly, over a few weeks. For the first week, it's science, math, and music, plus reading -- so a combination of fun and intensive. Ramping up gently has worked well for us in the past.

[canadianmomtofour]

Thanks, ladies. I think I will cut my losses at this point and try to redeem myself next year. And yes, starting back slowly is a good idea. I will keep that in mind.

[No More Perfect]

It is absolutely okay! I got so sick of MFW ECC this past month that I just dropped it, we aren't going to even finish it. Instead, we are using this time to really work on each child's individual weaknesses. I have actually noticed more genuine learning going on doing it this way. Forcing myself to continue what clearly was becoming a waste of time was making everyone unhappy.

[Ellie]

We have had a terrible year. Lots of burnout on both my part and the kids. I have a complete overhaul planned for next year and I hope it will be a lot better! What I really want to do is focus on math and writing for the rest of this year with lots of reading and some documentaries thrown in. I'm struggling with guilt though, and I need permission! Is it okay to do this, or should I suck it up and get on with it?

 

 

 

Of course it's ok. It's your school. You get to do what you want. :-)

 

OTOH, "for the rest of the year" means different things to different people. Some of us think that the end of the year is December 31, so... :D

 

 

But yeah, you definitely have our permission. ::does the royal wave::

[PeterPan]

Don't know how much permission you're needing, but personally I would only do the math and drop ALL the rest of that stuff you listed. Reading happens anyway, at least in our house, and documentaries are the kind of thing you either like (and thus do anyway) or you don't (and thus shouldn't be forced to do, especially when you're burnt out).

 

Do math, clean your house, re-find your love and peace. That's what we've been doing. We worked really hard on some things, as in burnt out to the CRISP, and it has taken several weeks off (and now this week another week) for us to rejuvenate. Don't make any bones about it. Do math and nothing else. Once your kids can read and you have an enriched environment, learning does not STOP simply because you stop putting it down on paper. That's like saying they stop breathing because you forgot to tell them. What you have to do is stop trying so hard so they can get BACK to the learning they do on their own. And then when they have the bit they do on their own and the bit you do with them, you'll have your peace back.

 

Btw, if I had that many kids (which I don't), I'd be thinking in terms of how to stagger things to eliminate stress. My dd is starting high school next year, which of course ups the ante for people and gets very stressful. I've told her in no uncertain terms that we're picking 2-3 things and she's gonna start knocking stuff out this summer. I've made her some syllabi, and the goal is to get a couple courses DONE. There's no reason for the year to become stressful because of something piddley, if an hour or two of consistent effort during the summer could have eliminated it. I've known people with more kids who knock out science during the summer to keep the fall more free and realistic with all the extra things they do. So if there's been a cause to your burnout that's likely to repeat, make some structural changes like that to head it off.

[canadianmomtofour]

 

 

Of course it's ok. It's your school. You get to do what you want. :-)

 

OTOH, "for the rest of the year" means different things to different people. Some of us think that the end of the year is December 31, so... :D

 

 

But yeah, you definitely have our permission. ::does the royal wave::

 

 

lol. Yes, end of year is end of June for us. We need to enjoy our short summers as much as possible!

 

 

 

Don't know how much permission you're needing, but personally I would only do the math and drop ALL the rest of that stuff you listed. Reading happens anyway, at least in our house, and documentaries are the kind of thing you either like (and thus do anyway) or you don't (and thus shouldn't be forced to do, especially when you're burnt out).

 

Do math, clean your house, re-find your love and peace. That's what we've been doing. We worked really hard on some things, as in burnt out to the CRISP, and it has taken several weeks off (and now this week another week) for us to rejuvenate. Don't make any bones about it. Do math and nothing else. Once your kids can read and you have an enriched environment, learning does not STOP simply because you stop putting it down on paper. That's like saying they stop breathing because you forgot to tell them. What you have to do is stop trying so hard so they can get BACK to the learning they do on their own. And then when they have the bit they do on their own and the bit you do with them, you'll have your peace back.

 

Btw, if I had that many kids (which I don't), I'd be thinking in terms of how to stagger things to eliminate stress. My dd is starting high school next year, which of course ups the ante for people and gets very stressful. I've told her in no uncertain terms that we're picking 2-3 things and she's gonna start knocking stuff out this summer. I've made her some syllabi, and the goal is to get a couple courses DONE. There's no reason for the year to become stressful because of something piddley, if an hour or two of consistent effort during the summer could have eliminated it. I've known people with more kids who knock out science during the summer to keep the fall more free and realistic with all the extra things they do. So if there's been a cause to your burnout that's likely to repeat, make some structural changes like that to head it off.

 

 

I think I love you! I feel like my fairy godmother has just waved her magic wand. :lol:

 

Yes, reading happens as long as the right books are laying around, and we love documentaries. In terms of managing stress for next year, I am planning to change up a lot of our curriculum choices and I am changing our schedule. It's amazing how needs change from year to year. I am also going to register my grade 8 student as a grade 10 student and he can start earning some high school credits. This way when we get to high school, he can focus on the core subjects without other distractions. This is something that he and I have been worried about, and having a head-start will be such a relief. Maybe I should have him do his programming course over the summer...........

[PeterPan]

I think I love you! I feel like my fairy godmother has just waved her magic wand. :lol:

 

... It's amazing how needs change from year to year.

... I am also going to register my grade 8 student as a grade 10 student and he can start earning some high school credits. This way when we get to high school, he can focus on the core subjects without other distractions. This is something that he and I have been worried about, and having a head-start will be such a relief. Maybe I should have him do his programming course over the summer...........

 

:blushing: Glad you're feeling empowered!

 

Yes, needs change. I usually clean out everything and rearrange, because even the way you work together changes each year. Hoping to work on that a little today.

 

I'm confused on your high school comments. The college/university is going to want to see your past 4 years of work on your transcript. If you call next year 10th, then the you did this year should be 9th grade level and appear on your transcript. You register with the state and assign a grade? I wouldn't bump that. Your main issue is ending up with a solid transcript with 4 years of work. So think to the end and work backwards and make sure you're on track. If you've had problems with burnout, you don't want to get to the end and realize you need that year back. Besides, I've got way too much to get done with her to graduate early, mercy. With the proliferation of dual enrollment options and many colleges giving you DE for *1/2 price* either locally or online, I can't afford NOT to keep her home the full four years. Most of those places want to let you start when you're 16. So she can do DE and amass credits and explore all she wants those extra two years. I'm trying to knock out her gross basics the first two years.

 

So I don't know what you meant, but make a plan. If you haven't watched a Lee Binz session yet, you might find it helpful.

[canadianmomtofour]

:blushing: Glad you're feeling empowered!

 

Yes, needs change. I usually clean out everything and rearrange, because even the way you work together changes each year. Hoping to work on that a little today.

 

I'm confused on your high school comments. The college/university is going to want to see your past 4 years of work on your transcript. If you call next year 10th, then the you did this year should be 9th grade level and appear on your transcript. You register with the state and assign a grade? I wouldn't bump that. Your main issue is ending up with a solid transcript with 4 years of work. So think to the end and work backwards and make sure you're on track. If you've had problems with burnout, you don't want to get to the end and realize you need that year back. Besides, I've got way too much to get done with her to graduate early, mercy. With the proliferation of dual enrollment options and many colleges giving you DE for *1/2 price* either locally or online, I can't afford NOT to keep her home the full four years. Most of those places want to let you start when you're 16. So she can do DE and amass credits and explore all she wants those extra two years. I'm trying to knock out her gross basics the first two years.

 

So I don't know what you meant, but make a plan. If you haven't watched a Lee Binz session yet, you might find it helpful.

 

 

 

I am in Canada so the system is different here. High school starts in grade 10 and in order to earn a diploma, students must earn 100 credits through core subjects + optional courses such as technology studies, special projects, and work experience. However, they can start doing this as soon as they are in grade 7 and either bank credits, or simply register as high school and start earning them straight away. I can register my oldest as grade 10 for three years running if I wish. I am not trying to graduate him early, quite the opposite in fact! He has until he is 21 to do this so no rush. I want to spread it out over as many years as possible so he accomplishes it in increments and doesn't get overwhelmed. As a boy with HFA, he is going to need that extra time.

[PeterPan]

Ahh, gotcha! Where I worked, when we got transcripts from Canada, we still expected it to show the last 4 years of work. But that was to a US school receiving the Canadian transcript. Sounds like you've thought things through.

 

Somehow I missed that you have SN. No wonder you're burnt out. Where there's one, there can be more. I'm sure you've thought about this, but sometimes the peace with SN comes from being a little less top-down and a little more the facilitator. You get the impression on the boards that top-down is the way to function, but there are people who doing other things. If that's been part of your issue, then reading something WAY in the other direction (like Cindy Gaddis' book on right-brained learners) might give you some balance.

[canadianmomtofour]

Yes, I should put that in my signature maybe. ds 13 is diagnosed HFA, ds 9 is not diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure he's dyslexic, and ds 7 has a long list of diagnosed learning disabilities. So far dd 4 seems okay, but that's what I thought about ds 7 at age 4 too! This is why I feel so guilty about taking a break. It takes so long to make any progress with these boys that I don't feel as though I have any time to waste, kwim? Although I have noticed that sometimes our greatest leaps in learning happen after a bit of a break.

 

Can you explain what you mean by this statement?

 

I'm sure you've thought about this, but sometimes the peace with SN comes from being a little less top-down and a little more the facilitator.

[Tammi K]

Sounds ike just the conversation I had with DH last night! Go for it!