How is this for an apology and thank you?

[dirty ethel rackham]

I didn't even read your apology ... my blood was boiling after I read about the voice message. My advice - do not grovel to this woman. She does not deserve it. If your husband is fine with limited contact, accept that as a precious gift. She sounds hostile and toxic. If she can't accept that son that chooses to be a good husband and father, that is her problem. To belittle you about a "slip" in manners is downright unmannerly of her as well. She sounds self-centered and self-important. Stop trying to please her because it certainly doesn't sound possible. Live your own life. Send her a short, polite thank you for the flowers and that's it! (Said by a reformed people-pleaser.)

 

ETA: I am so sorry for your loss and for the difficulties you have been facing. I know that makes you vulnerable and sensitive.

[Guest]

If nothing else, it shows your dh that you are the bigger person and that you are willing to be kind to his family...even if they don't deserve it. In my marriage, that alone would go a long way. So sorry for all the things your family has been through.

[AmyontheFarm]

So sorry about the loss of your grandmother.

[laundrycrisis]

I am sorry for your loss. :grouphug:

 

Take care of yourself. Don't worry about his family.

[Guest]

Wonderful message. You are so sweet.

[MiniBlondes]

First, my deepest sympathies to you for all that you've been facing recently. I can only imagine the amount of stress that you've been under. My heart goes out to you.

 

Second, I wanted to tell you that your note is beyond gracious and absolutely beautiful. Frankly, I'm not sure that they deserve it... but that's what grace is all about, right? You are definitely rising above the petty drama by sending this note.

 

Hugs coming your way. :grouphug:

[KrissiK]

Very gracious!

[catz]

I think your note is incredibly gracious. But I can't believe they've filed a complaint about no thank you on or prior to April 22 when your father just died April 4th? That is ridiculous. I sent flowers to a funeral of an aunt I couldn't attend in February and wouldn't dream of stalking them for a thank you. If they would have just asked "we wanted to make sure you received the flowers and how are you doing", that would be different.

 

I'd take the high road and send the note. I think it's a little too nice given how close you are to the funeral yet, but I would take the high road. And then I'd walk away and not pursue a relationship with them. I can't imagine hounding someone so close to the death of a beloved parent. :grouphug:

[TN Mama]

Your note is beautifully written.

 

I'm sorry your relationship with your ILs is so strained. And while it is very inappropriate to "call out" someone for not sending a thank you note, you are handling the situation with far more grace than was shown to you.

 

My sincerest condolences to you and yours for loss of your dad and your grandmother's decline. Hugs to you, Laurel.

And congrats on your new baby!

 

 

:iagree: With all of the above. Hugs to you.

[mom2samlibby]

First of all, I'm sorry for the loss of both your father and your grandmother. Secondly, I would not send that note. Your BIL has used an opportunity to kick you while you are down, and to send that note, would only show that they have succeeded. It has been less than two weeks since your Dad's funeral. This thank you note is NOT LATE AT ALL! Your In-laws should be the ones apologizing.

 

When you do get a chance to send out thank you notes, I would make it very brief, like the other notes you send.

 

I would have your husband call your BIL to tell him that the phone call was inappropriate.

 

Please do not send her the note.

[Scarlett]

Repeating what others have said....your MIL's behavior is horrible and your apology was more than gracious. So sorry about the loss of your father.

 

Do consider having very little contact with these people. Ugh.