My confession - I doubt that my daughter is dyslexic *sigh*

[SunnyDays]

I think you've received good advice on next steps; I don't have anything to add there.

 

Just wanted to commiserate... I am a gifted, strong willed first born, raising a gifted, strong willed first born, with the help of a husband who is also a first born, not identified as gifted but very bright and logical to a fault, LOL! You can imagine how none of us ever butt heads or have any strong opinions.... Hahahahaha! ;)

 

DS can be... Hmm.... Quite unmotivated if he's not interested. He doesn't like to show his work either. But if you ever think she'll return to a traditional school, and I know that's your plan (and ours too), I'm with you in that I am insisting he learn to show the work.

 

Many hugs, and I hope you're able to get some better answers soon.

 

 

[Tap]

FWIW, to me, that sounds more like a vision/vision processing issue than dyslexia.

 

 

I only gave a snapshot of what I see obviously for time sake. But it is more than just something like Irlen syndrome because of how it affects all my life not just what I see.

[LibraryLover]

Hm.

The last woman I spoke with is an educational and behavioral psychologist. I'm not sure what the difference is, lol!

 

 

 

Dyslexia is brain function issue, and not so much a 'psychological' one, although their are emotional behaviors that can be a part of the LD (frustration, low self esteem, anger etc). Sometimes you can find an educator who can assist the child with certain proven programming (Orton/Gillingham, depending on the particular issue, etc).

 

Yet it is good to get the medical diagnosis first, and if certain other real issues present (ADD or whatnot) along with the LD, you will be able to access that help, if you choose to, through an MD who knows what they are doing. At a Children's Hospital, a child is seen by a team. It is more comprehensive, and information/testing can be shared more easily. Your chances of getting answers is better.

[AimeeM]

Our insurance required a pedi referral. If yours doesn't, you can skip that part.

 

I don't think our insurance will cover any of it...

The providers I've spoken with said that insurance doesn't generally (cover it).

Unfortunately, lol.

[Mom in High Heels]

I read the Gift of Dyslexia that was mentioned upthread, and while it wasn't exciting, it showed me how dyslexia can work. Since I don't have it, I hd no idea. James Bond has tried to explain it to me, and in his dyslexic mind it makes sense, but it made none to me. After reading it though, I got it. There are so many ways that dyslexia presents. I didn't realize how varied it was. JB and Ind are both "picture thinkers," which is so very different from how I think. I don't see pictures and how they do it and stay sane is beyond me. We opted to do the Davis therapy (though it's laid out word for word in the back of the book) with a trained Davis instructor. It was freaking amazing. He was reading the very first night by choice. His reading is at grade level now.

[bzymom]

 

Mom writes long equation on board to be solved.

Autumn looks at it and spouts off answer. Correct answer, most of the time.

Mom asks Autumn to show (or tell) how she came to it, and the following conversation happens:

Her: "Did I get the answer right?"

Me: "Yes, but I still need you to show me HOW you came to it."

Her: "Why? If it's right, it's right."

Me: "Because you will be expected to show your work in high school and that isn't so far off."

Her: "Stupid rule."

Me: "What happens if you make a mistake and haven't shown your work? The teacher won't be able to tell WHERE you went wrong."

Her: something to the extent of "I hate math".

 

And then if I push her to show her work, she generally gets it wrong. She doesn't seem to know how she comes to correct answers - she says it makes sense in her head but that she can't put it out for me. I just wish I understood how her brain works!!!

 

 

 

 

I know very little about Dyslexia, but this portion of your discussion jumped out at me. My son (now an adult) could NEVER show his work in math. He still cannot. He is really bright, but the way his brain operates to complete math is simply different. When he sees the problem, he sees the answer. All through school he was penalized for not showing work, though his answers were correct, he was clearly not cheating, and he could do the same functions in oral tests when asked, and I fought it over and over. (I so wish I had known homeschooling was even an option!)

My son now works in a field where he uses advanced mathematics every day, and his gift serves him well. And nobody asks him to "show his work"!!

 

I know this doesn't help much in your search for a diagnosis/path for your d/d, but I wanted to share as showing work might be nearly impossible for your d/d.

[AimeeM]

I read the Gift of Dyslexia that was mentioned upthread, and while it wasn't exciting, it showed me how dyslexia can work. Since I don't have it, I hd no idea. James Bond has tried to explain it to me, and in his dyslexic mind it makes sense, but it made none to me. After reading it though, I got it. There are so many ways that dyslexia presents. I didn't realize how varied it was. JB and Ind are both "picture thinkers," which is so very different from how I think. I don't see pictures and how they do it and stay sane is beyond me. We opted to do the Davis therapy (though it's laid out word for word in the back of the book) with a trained Davis instructor. It was freaking amazing. He was reading the very first night by choice. His reading is at grade level now.

 

Can you tell me how this therapy works?

I googled it and we happen to have a center VERY close by, lol.

[SproutMamaK]

Please don't refer to her as "lazy." Whatever else you discover about her abilities and whatnot, just do not say that she is "lazy." Please.

 

 

I don't mean for this to be snarky, this is a genuine question. Why not? I will grudgingly admit that I am lazy. I don't like to get up off the couch from my nice warm blanket and my book and DO stuff. I want to sit and relax as much as possible, and things tend to not get done because of that. My oldest is also like this. He wants to sit and read, or sit and play games, or sit and..... well whatever, as long as it involves sitting, And he gets cranky if you try to take him out of that element. Even IF it's just sitting there, he doesn't like to do school work because it's work. He doesn't really like to DO anything that isn't SUPER exciting (and even then the fun dies down fast).

 

What's wrong with saying a child like that is lazy? If my child was naturally angry, or depressed, or anti-social, why wouldn't I use those words when I'm looking for help on how to deal with them? I'm not trying to start a fight.... I just don't get why lazy in particular is such a bad word?

[Susan C.]

FWIW, to me, that sounds more like a vision/vision processing issue than dyslexia.

 

Yep...... in fact, your dd sounds a lot like mine was. Between her junior and senior years, I took her to a covd optometrist and low and behold, vision problems. For dd, staring at the ceiling, avoiding reading, math, etc. was a way to rest very tired eyes. Having never seen print correctly, she didn't know what normal was. I had to drive 3 1/2 hours one way 18 times during her senior year, but she is much better. She is much improved, doing well in college, and continuing to improve. Processing issues come with vision problems, if all of the effort is in making out the print, there isn't much left for processing. Dd had a steep curve getting her processing up to speed this year, but worked hard and is reaping the benefits now.

 

Look up my posts on the special needs board for the story! Nose around about the vision therapist you are going to, the one close to me wasn't very good (found out by word of mouth). The drive was very much worth it to get my dd's eyes working correctly. I can't tell you the anger I have dealt with because not many optometrists do the second binocular exam at eye appointments. Binocular is how both eyes work together, not each eye separately. And that was where dd's problems were.

[Melissa in Australia]

I don't mean for this to be snarky, this is a genuine question. Why not? I will grudgingly admit that I am lazy. I don't like to get up off the couch from my nice warm blanket and my book and DO stuff. I want to sit and relax as much as possible, and things tend to not get done because of that. My oldest is also like this. He wants to sit and read, or sit and play games, or sit and..... well whatever, as long as it involves sitting, And he gets cranky if you try to take him out of that element. Even IF it's just sitting there, he doesn't like to do school work because it's work. He doesn't really like to DO anything that isn't SUPER exciting (and even then the fun dies down fast).

 

What's wrong with saying a child like that is lazy? If my child was naturally angry, or depressed, or anti-social, why wouldn't I use those words when I'm looking for help on how to deal with them? I'm not trying to start a fight.... I just don't get why lazy in particular is such a bad word?

 

Lazy is the wrong word for this thread because it is possible a disability/ alternate way of the brain working thing. Saying someone who has Dyslexia is lazy is just very wrong. their brain has to do almost double the work of a non-dyslexic person to do tasks like reading.

[Guest submarines]

You're absolutely right. I shouldn't use that word. I guess I just don't know how else to describe it. The minute she finds out anything (not just school work) is going to take an ounce of effort, no matter how interested she was BEFORE she realized that, she immediately loses interest and has "better things to do".

 

I'm just sad. And frustrated. And confused. She wants so badly to go to a local prestigious Catholic prep for high school, but a typical math lesson goes like this:

 

Mom writes long equation on board to be solved.

Autumn looks at it and spouts off answer. Correct answer, most of the time.

Mom asks Autumn to show (or tell) how she came to it, and the following conversation happens:

Her: "Did I get the answer right?"

Me: "Yes, but I still need you to show me HOW you came to it."

Her: "Why? If it's right, it's right."

Me: "Because you will be expected to show your work in high school and that isn't so far off."

Her: "Stupid rule."

Me: "What happens if you make a mistake and haven't shown your work? The teacher won't be able to tell WHERE you went wrong."

Her: something to the extent of "I hate math".

 

And then if I push her to show her work, she generally gets it wrong. She doesn't seem to know how she comes to correct answers - she says it makes sense in her head but that she can't put it out for me. I just wish I understood how her brain works!!!

 

She does the same with chores... or anything really. She's very "in the moment". If it can be shoved off until tomorrow, she'll do just that without thinking about the consequences (like having double the recycling to take out because she waited a day, or double the math work because she shoved it off a day, etc).

 

 

What would happen if you didn't ask her to show her work? This obviously hasn't worked so far. What if instead you increased the complexity of the questions, giving her problems that could show her the real beauty of math that includes quick and elegant solutions--something that very few people can understand, but it seems that she will.

 

If showing her work makes her feel like she hates math, while in reality she is one of those people who can really appreciate math, there must be other ways which would help her to develop her gift and enjoy math.

 

There's more to math than "showing the work". Showing the work is a method for those mediocre people like me who need math to be chewed up and spoon fed, and for schools where teachers can't assess differently.

 

I'd show her that her being able just to "see" solutions is unique and special and she can develop this gift by applying it to more and more advanced math. She'd probably benefit from a tutor who is a gifted mathematician himself.

 

The school she wants to go to might not be a good fit for her. But it could also be in a couple of years her brain and attitude will mature, and she will be able to do the dumbed down math, in order to "fit in."