Homeschooling one child

[Meljoy]

I have 3 boys ages 22, 18 and 10. This is our 11th year of homeschooling. The older two boys do not live at home any longer -I am only homeschooling the 10YO.

 

Last year I realized it is much more like he is an only child. He is close to his brothers as they were homeschooled and always around when he was younger -but now from a school standpoint it is just him and I. We live VERY rural (not even a Walmart in town) and there is honestly not much to do locally. We still do stuff- but he doesnt want to just hang out with mom all the time.

 

We are involved in HS group that used to be very active but seems to have stopped doing much in the last year or so. He does play baseball. He really likes being around other kids his age. With his personality he seems to crave friends more than my other boys did -they were happy to play alone or with someone.

 

Being the baby I also see him as more of a follower (his brothers are both strong leader personalities). He is a very sweet boy and wants everyone to be happy and like him, (which is wonderful to be around- but worries me more he would cave to peer pressure).

 

I honestly considered putting him in the private school next year (for sports and social reasons) - but I REALLY do not want to.

 

Does anyone out there only homeschool one and have any ideas????

[Mrs. Readsalot]

We live in a neighborhood with lots of kids so social is not really a problem. Although before we moved here I would have to make more of an effort to have him get together with friends. We found several others kids he enjoyed being around and would arrange for them to come over or meet at a playground etc. If he had something like this to look forward to it seemed to help alot. I have found that my son is very outgoing and is usually the first kid in the neighborhood to introduce himself to new kids moving in. I think this has to do with him being an only.

Look at this as an opportunity for your son to develop into more of a leader (since his older brothers are not always around)

There are lots of places to interact with other kids; church, sports programs, playground, YMCA, library programs, art classes. Look around and hopefully you will find an avenue for him to make friends through.

[Susie in SWVA]

You could almost be talking about me. My 10 year old son has 4 sisters (31,30,28 and 26). They were all homeschooled, but none of them live at home anymore. We are very rural also with not much of a homeschool group available. He does have a few friends that he sees occasionally and plays basketball in the winter. For the last four years he has gone to stay for a week in the summer with two of his sisters. He goes to VBS at their church, they take him to the zoo, to a water park, get him together with other boys from their church that he knows from visiting down there (Columbia SC) Their husbands mess around with him doing guy things. This summer he was able to go down twice, the second time going to a basketball camp (in fact his sister is bringing him home tonight!).

 

Maybe your older sons could do something like that. I realize that my girls are older than your boys (and married), but maybe they could help you out some.

 

HTH

Susie in SWVA

[JFSinIL]

Sounds a lot like my youngest, who has been home along with me for 4th grade, and now the last half of fifth grade (although we went ahead and did largely sixth grade work and will do seventh grade stuff this year.) I think she had more fun when her older siblings (now in public school) were also home, as she, too is very social. She will be off to 8th grade and high school in 2009/10 and is champing at the bit for it. But I want one more year to make sure of her math and writing (plus local schools do not cover history or science in 6th grade - which is where they would stick her this year) before she goes off to public school again.

 

I do have her in martial arts twice a week, and the local school lets her come in for band twice a week.

[Meljoy]

He does get to do things during the summer ect (like a week at church camp, baseball, baseball camp, ect.) but I need ideas more on a regular basis. We attend a pretty small church .... Kids that go to PS seems to be so BUSY with all the homework and extra stuff at school -there is just not much time for extra.

 

Ds is very friendly and makes friends easily. I guess I wish he would make more homeschool friends so he would not want to go to the PS so much.

[Susie in SWVA]

Do you have the ability (or does your son have any interest) in keeping a horse and learning to ride? Our oldest daughter had two horses. When she started making noises about going to public school, I pointed out how much less time she would have to spend with her horses. Always worked!

 

We try to encourage our son in individual interests. He wants to be an entomologist (for now, anyway!) and he spends long hours by our stream collecting beetles and bugs of all sorts. He has an aquarium outside that he has landscaped with natural plants and mosses and where he puts his bugs to watch and study them. (I just wish he wouldn't sneak them up to his room!)

 

We go to a rather small church also. The only boys his age live about thirty miles away. We have ,on occasion , taken him there to spend the day. We also brought the boys to our house on Sunday afternoon and then took them home in the evening.

 

HTH

Susie in SWVA

[elegantlion]

My ds is an only child. We are not involved in a homeschool group, there was no activities for his age group. He has a few friends in the neighborhood to play with. Thankfully, they click and have similar interests.

 

I love being able to homeschool only one. We have such a rich dialouge during the day, we are able to really talk and bond during school time. He does not like to work independently. We are building that up, there are certain subjects I make him do on his own. We school at a table, so generally I will work on some of my own self-education during those times. The fact I am working near him helps him focus.

 

I feel like I am giving my son I private tutored education. There are so many benefits to us and our family, I can't imagine doing it any other way.

 

(I'm on my first cup of coffee so this may not sound totally coherant)

[Parrothead]

I've got an only. I've got her involved with dance and, until this year, scouts. Can you get your youngest involved with some kind of lessons - maybe martial arts instead of dance. Scouts or 4-H. If you can't find a troop in your area maybe you can see about starting one.

 

Will your school district allow homeschooler involvement with extra-curriculars like sports or clubs?

[Mandy in TN]

I honestly considered putting him in the private school next year (for sports and social reasons) - but I REALLY do not want to.

 

Does anyone out there only homeschool one and have any ideas????

 

I will be there all too soon and the possibility of a traditional classroom is in our future. This year my 3 boys are a 17yo/ 11th grader, a 14yo/ 10th grader, and a 5yo/ K'er. When the middle one begins college, the little one may go into a traditional classroom. At this point I feel like he will be so lonely that a traditional classroom will be something that we will need to consider.

 

No ideas just commiserating:grouphug:

Mandy

[Chris in VA]

My boys are 18 and 16, and my little girl is 8. Not only is she younger, but she has even less in common with her brothers because she's a girl. We don't live in a rural area; we live on 40 acres of church property, not in a neighborhood, so there aren't any friends immediately accessible. I know she gets lonely, but it's usually an impetus to use her imagination. She's had lots of tea parties with the dog!

 

In two years, both boys will be out of the house, so we will be in the same situation as you, pretty much. This year and next (if this year goes alright) she'll go to public school--I wish there was a way to have her do half days or something, but we have to work with what we've got.

 

I feel for you and your son--it's hard to be a social person and have just Mom to hang with. You can be great friends, have a tight bond, etc., but I do understand it's different to have friends your own age or closer to it. I'd say just keep inviting friends over, and maybe even schedule it regularly--be really intentional.

 

Maybe you can get in touch with your olders and schedule regular family times, too--My own brothers were 5 and 6 years older than me, and I felt a loss when they moved out. Dad was working in S. America, too, so it was just Mom and me. Even tho I went to school, I was still a bit lonely for the sense of family completeness. I used to say "Happiness is setting 5 at the table." I know my dd has already felt loss in our family, as ds 16 lived away for a year. I'm preparing for the time when we are split apart again--but this time it will be as it should be, the launching time.

 

I guess I'm just sensitive to our family togetherness, and I occasionally do some premature grieving about the changes that come when kids move out and on. I wish we had had one more child!

[Happy]

We've been homeschooling an only in the five years since his brother graduated. We love it. More focused time together, the ability to flex his learning and his schedule.

 

He is active in youth group at church and plays baseball on a varsity level homeschool league. He has friends that are not a part of either of those.

 

A social whirl of a life can be a negative. I'm thrilled to have had this time with this son. It's been a great adventure.

[sweetTN]

I have only one dc (almost 9) left at home also. She stays very active with her church group, takes gymnastics, and plays soccer and basketball with the local Christian sports league. I'm now looking into a youth drama club for her. Socialization has never been an issue. Also, I have found that having just one dc is so much fun. It is easier to gear everything toward her interests and we can afford to do so much more.