Brilliant Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 My sweet MIL died last year. Today is her birthday. Her sister posted a nice tribute to her on FB this morning, so I headed over to MIL's page (still active) to see what anybody else had posted. There were a couple of posts along the lines of "Missing you today; see you in Heaven" etc. But there were two posts along the lines of "Hope you have a great birthday!" :confused1: I can't believe they don't know she passed last year, but I suppose it's possible! And it's also possible to post a comment on someone's page without going to their page, so they could have done the birthday wishes without seeing the other "heaven" posts. I don't know either of the people who posted. Should I send a message? Something along the lines of, "I saw your birthday wishes on dear MIL's FB page. We still really miss her and thanks for thinking of her today." Or just ignore it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 They may be unaware, or they may possibly be wishing your MIL a great birthday in the afterlife. You never know. I think your proposed note is very sweet and you could certainly send it. Personally, I would probably just ignore those posts. :grouphug: to you as you remember your MIL on her birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I saw a notice in our paper this week, it was wishing someone a happy 21st birthday in heaven. She had passed away several years ago. I wasn't quite sure what to think about it. Just to be sure, I would probably send a nice message worded like you suggested. If someone honestly doesn't know she's passed away, they might like to know. If they do know and you acknowledge them, it's simply a nice gesture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I would discretely contact them and make sure they are aware she is dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I would guess that they're wishing her a Happy Birthday in the afterlife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I think it's a nice idea to contact them and gently inform them that she's dead. I really wish facebook had a better system for dealing with deaths. I think there was talk of turning those pages into "memorial pages," for people who still wanted to post things to/about the deceased, but I don't know if that idea ever panned out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 Many people post on my son's Facebook wall as if he is still living, myself included. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I think it's a nice idea to contact them and gently inform them that she's dead. I really wish facebook had a better system for dealing with deaths. I think there was talk of turning those pages into "memorial pages," for people who still wanted to post things to/about the deceased, but I don't know if that idea ever panned out. They do have memorial pages, but they are limited in what you can do compared to leaving it active. Most choose not to do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I think it's a nice idea to contact them and gently inform them that she's dead. I really wish facebook had a better system for dealing with deaths. I think there was talk of turning those pages into "memorial pages," for people who still wanted to post things to/about the deceased, but I don't know if that idea ever panned out. They do have memorial pages, but they are limited in what you can do compared to leaving it active. Most choose not to do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 Many people post on my son's Facebook wall as if he is still living, myself included. :grouphug: I wondered about that - that's why I thought maybe I'd ignore it, because they probably already know. But just in case, I'm going to send a quick message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 My uncle passed away last year and this year on his birthday he had a couple wish him the best birthday ever...I just figured they did not know he had passed away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I think that your suggested response is nice. Some people just go through their birthdays and paste in a Happy Birthday message to everyone and might not pay close attention, but it might also be nice to let them know, just in case. I thought your phrasing was great, as far as not making them feel bad for posting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I just found out a week ago that a friend from college passed away. In June 2011. :( I thought she had just stopped using FB, like many people do. So yes, it's very possible that they do not know she died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 It's possible some folks don't know, I like the idea to say what you mentioned, perhaps in a pm on Facebook? There are still people that post stuff on my sister in laws page, like they miss her, they love her and they are thinking about her. She left us in September. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 I've found that there tends to be a cultural acceptance here in south Texas for wishing a happy birthday to the deceased. There are little memorial ads in the newspaper here every day for such as this. Wow, how did you know she was from south Texas? Yes, really! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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