6packofun Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 How do you keep a balance between all the work your high school dc must accomplish and the reality that if you want to do any one-on-one with the other kids, you *need* occasional help from the high schooler to watch the rambunctious toddler? My 9th grader will need some time from me as well and I'm feeling overwhelmed at the thought of all the grade levels I need to teach this year--and the 2yo is a terror sometimes. LOL (A mother's helper type of thing doesn't seem feasible, unfortunately, money-wise or just finding one!) Does your high schooler have a private space to do schoolwork where they hole up for most of the day? Do you do the bulk of your teaching with the other children during little person's nap, if they take one? Can *I* take a nap now???? LOL I'm just frazzled trying to see how this is all going to work. We managed OK last year but with my ds officially a high schooler, I really want to ramp up his program a bit. I guess I'm just curious about schedules and expectations for yourself and your high school age children, especially concerning occasional help with younger siblings. (We get chores out of the way before and after school hours.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I'll tell you the truth, in my opinion, this is not easy. I had a similiar situation. I think the most important thing is to give your highschooler a space. They need someplace with a desk and their books where they can shut a door and get away from the toddler. They need it quiet so they are not constantly interrupted. When I was working with my highschooler, I would bring out an arsenal of things for the 2 year old to do. But eventually I would just.......turn on the t.v. I know that is bad but I had no choice, at least I felt like I didn't. So he probably watched tv a couple hours a day. Granted, I would either get educational movies from the library or find something like Barney or something with a little bit of good in it. My 2 year old started loving Teletubbies which was not the best but he became an avid reader at 5 so it did not seem to hurt him. You pretty much have to do the best you can and what you can. My little boy also loved his own folder, paper, crayons etc. like his sister had. He wanted to feel like he was doing school too. But that did not last but for longer than 15 min. at a time at least for us. This time will pass. But I think the most important thing is that your highschooler has a quiet place to do their school work. They can always bring something to you if they don't understand it but they can focus. Hope this helps.] Amber Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Try having twins while you have a high schooler! My oldest liked to get up early to get a lot of work done while everyone else was still sleeping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captivated Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Two words - Rest Time!!! I have a 5yr old, 6yr old, 17yr old. The two youngest gave up naps LONG ago but every day they have rest time. My oldest does all his independent work (he has been pretty much independent since 6th grade) and waits for the stuff he has to do with me till the little ones are in their rooms for rest time. I can't make it work any other way. They don't have to sleep - but they have to play in their own rooms and stay there till I come and get them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina in Ouray Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 There is no getting around it: it is just messy. Like life. Enjoy even the messiness. And remember that the minute you think you have a schedule or system that works for you, things will change. Your little ones will grow, your bigger ones will grow, and you'll have to figure out some new way of coping. You can make it work. I've had six to eight kids in a relatively small house for almost ten years now. There is no quiet corner, no space that anyone can really call their own. We've survived and thrived. I just don't have any easy answers. I think that part of my adult children's strengths come from having to work with circumstances like you described. Be grateful. Tina in Ouray, CO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 My highschoolers do have seperate work areas because otherwise nothing would get accomplished. I have done various schedules over the years, but this year I am planning on working with my youngest 4 first thing in the morning while the older ones do independent work. Hopefully this will help me have a clear space to work with the oleder ones uninterrrupted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lwilliams1922 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 so It's 1:40pm and I'm STILL trying to get my 2yr old down for a nap so I can have dd/8th grade do history and math for today. I just realized my 8th grader snuck up stairs to nap with the 1 yr old! eeesh the 8th grader is ADHD (inattentive) and will doddle or do everything but work if i'm not a few feet from her. My goal is to start school @7:00am or before the little ones wake. unfortunalty the little ones are very light sleepers and the 8th grader needs an army to wake her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I try to implement as many routines from Managers of their Homes as i can. There's NO WAY i can schedule a whole day the way she does, but I can schedule an hour here and an hour there: when we're ready to implement that particular block of routine, everyone already knows what they need to do and for how long. Not only can my 14yo watch the 2yo for a while, even my 7yo can play w/ the 2yo for about 20 minutes, keeping him occupied. we're still working on getting my 4yo to a point where she can actually be helpful ;) If each of us [see sig] take a 20 minute turn w/ the toddler, that leaves ME over an hour that i can spend --20 minute sessions of one-on one w/ another kid. Add in any time the toddler can play by himself or watch a short video and we do pretty well. We do the same thing w/ a few other things -- older kids can drill each other on basic facts while i spend some one/one w/ the toddler. Dollar store timers are scattered allll over my house! MY tough thing is to keep that routine moving forward!! I get started on a subject and don't wanna let it go [back to those timers]. I'm thankful that dh is many times home and able to help out a lot, but those times where he's gone for a solid week are certainly trying. Yes, my oldest has a place where he can hole up. A one-page checklist for everyone doing "school" [three columns, a column for each kid] helps keep me on task. we're pretty much past nap times. If we are going to GO anywhere, i try to schedule that trip for right after lunch so the toddler will take a car nap and kids can work on carschool stuff w/ a full tummy :) good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 How do you keep a balance between all the work your high school dc must accomplish and the reality that if you want to do any one-on-one with the other kids, you *need* occasional help from the high schooler to watch the rambunctious toddler? I don't really use my high schoolers to watch the youngers any more. They just have too much to do. Now and again, I might have them take a 15-minute break so I can work with another child, but I don't rely on it. Does your high schooler have a private space to do schoolwork where they hole up for most of the day? Do you do the bulk of your teaching with the other children during little person's nap, if they take one? Can *I* take a nap now???? LOL I'm just frazzled trying to see how this is all going to work. We managed OK last year but with my ds officially a high schooler, I really want to ramp up his program a bit. I was surprised that my high schooler required so much of my time, even when many of his classes were outsourced. I still had to work with him on writing, do lots and lots of grading followed by reviewing and reworking, and then monitor some of his outsourced classes and work with him in scheduling, volunteer work, lawn jobs, etc. Add to that the emotional investment that teens need and, they still take a lot of parenting! :D Most of this happened in the evening -- the grading, the going on-line to check progress, the long talks. During the day, my 3 oldest are up in their rooms at their desks (hopefully) working, while my elementary-aged kids worked at the dining room where I was readily available to teach or answer questions and monitor. We turned a small sunroom space into a playroom for the littles. I guess I'm just curious about schedules and expectations for yourself and your high school age children, especially concerning occasional help with younger siblings. (We get chores out of the way before and after school hours.) Also, keep in mind that my high schooler worked some evenings and weekends. He can no longer fit everything in between 8 and 2. When he really needed to study hard, and keep his motivation going, he went to the library (a few blocks away). And he wasn't finished with coursework until after his AP exams in May. Most of my youngers had completed math and most classes by the end of April, so we could have stopped. But we kept going to help motivate ds to finish strong. Remember that going from 8th to 9th is, as you alluded, just one more step up. If you were able to manage last year and found a rhthym that worked, you will likely find that again this year. The other day, I sighed to my dh and said I just didn't know how I was going to be able to teach my now 11th, 9th, 8th, 6th, and 4th graders along with a pre-Ker and 18-month-old. He chuckled and reminded me that I say that every year! So I guess every year it looks daunting (even if you have two) but we manage to work it out! Many blessings ~ Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 There is no getting around it: it is just messy. Like life. Enjoy even the messiness. And remember that the minute you think you have a schedule or system that works for you, things will change. Your little ones will grow, your bigger ones will grow, and you'll have to figure out some new way of coping. You can make it work. :iagree: Mandy ds 17 ds 14 ds 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hot Lava Mama Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 each one of you. I only have 4 kids, the youngest two (4yo and 2yo) can be VERY difficult at times. Geez, I thought MY schedule was tough. I couldn't even imagine how hard it would be with more. You ladies are awesome! Hot Lava Mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill- OK Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 How do you keep a balance between all the work your high school dc must accomplish and the reality that if you want to do any one-on-one with the other kids, you *need* occasional help from the high schooler to watch the rambunctious toddler? ...we're just starting back up next week, with two new 9th graders, two elementary-aged kids, and a three-year-old, but my new schedule doesn't rely on help from the olders during the hours of 9 to 2. The two older kids will have lots of time for independent work, in their rooms (or the office...or my room), a meeting time with me (1 hr after lessons are done), and then a set time in the late afternoon of watching littles (at least, on days that we're not in an activity) while I recover, lol. It's just messy. (I think someone's said that, already). But the high schoolers need time to think, and their work is going to take a lot more time this year, so I feel strongly about not pulling them away from that. I also want to shift the focus of their academics to something that more closely resembles a college class, in preparation for doing just that, in a couple of years. (Interact with me, do assignments independently, and discuss results). They still babysit, and help with chores, etc., but not during the hours we've set aside for them to work on their studies. I'll report back after next week, and tell how the new schedule goes. It looks (roughly) like this... Get up, eat breakfast, do devotions, etc. Clean up mess by 9 a.m. From 9 to 1, Bigs work their list, coming to me for explanations as needed. (Some of their work, like Algebra, will need to be gone through with me before they start each lesson, and some subjects have assignments that they'll do with me; we have an assignment notebook we'll fill out on Sunday that explains what's what). From 10 to 12, I'll go through the little girls' work with them, breaking when the Bigs need help. Yep, only two hours. I'm pretty relaxed in younger years. 12 to 1 will probably be music practice, or time spent working with someone who needs more specific help in an area.* From 1 to 2, the Bigs and I will have our discussion time, and they might sit in while I read Story of the World to the youngers, or do a history project with them, from 2 to 3 (we're focusing on the same period), but if not, they'll be done at 2 and have an hour to do what they want. From 3 to 5 (on the days that there are no activities), the Bigs will watch the Littles, but they might help me prepare dinner, too. Depending on how much solitude I need, lol. Like I said...take it with a grain of salt until you hear from me, next week. I'll let you know how it goes. *(About 'one on one' time; I don't know that this always has to be in isolation from the rest of the crew, you know? I'm not saying it isn't easier for me to think and form a coherent explanation when it's just me and the kid who's trying to learn something, lol, but that I probably need to accept that I have to accomplish a lot of stuff individually with a child, while still being in a group setting. Our life is 'Group Setting'. ::Sigh:: Engaging the other two littles in something engrossing--with the promise that the one receiving 'one on one' time will get to do it later--and helping the child in question will probably be as intense as it gets, for my elementary kids, unless they are in serious desperate need. Same with my discussions with the Bigs in the afternoon; I'm considering letting the younger ones have their program/DVD watching at that time, so that it's not too much of a struggle to focus on the subject at hand with the Bigs, but even if they're running around the back yard while the three of us share some tea or something on the patio, it's still focused time, even if it's not, by strict definition, 'one on one'. Or, 'one on two', as the case may be, lol.) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted August 1, 2008 Author Share Posted August 1, 2008 Thanks so much for taking the time to share all of that! (Jill *and* everyone else) It helps more than you know to hear how others do this and confirm my thoughts about having a large chunk of time for the older ones ALONE and then a session with mom for discussion, feedback, questions, etc. Trial and error with the little one, as always, will get us to the right place eventually in our schedule! Thanks, ladies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisN in NY Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 My dc are in 4th, 6th, 8th, 12th, grad '08, and grad '06. I have btdt. The biggest help, I learned, was to give the littlest one(s) a half hour of my time first thing after breakfast. I played a game with the preschooler while the toddler sat on my lap and "helped" me, then read them a book. They had their "mommy time" and were good to go for awhile. We all had a routine, and I alternated their having time alone/entertaining themselves with playing with an older sibling, in half hour increments. If I remember correctly, I think the oldest siblings alternated days with the little one, because of their workload. Once the youngest got to ages 3 and 5, I could even give them a half hour with each other. Their "alone" activities depended on their age. They spent a half hour in the playpen (or in their room) with toys, on the computer with a preschool game (like Reader Rabbit), having a snack, watching a short video, having a rest time. I don't recall that we ever had a "perfect" day, but it worked. HTH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 The biggest help, I learned, was to give the littlest one(s) a half hour of my time first thing after breakfast. I played a game with the preschooler while the toddler sat on my lap and "helped" me, then read them a book. They had their "mommy time" and were good to go for awhile. This is encouraging because this is my plan for this year! I usually try to just school through the chaos and I hope this new plan helps things go more smoothly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted August 1, 2008 Share Posted August 1, 2008 that my ds (when he was 2ish) would spend a good hour in the tub playing happily while sat right there and taught. This actually turned out to be some of my most valuable one-on-one time. And I didn't have the clean-up like I did after sink water play. So, maybe a good long (supervised of course) bath every day? :D I plan to use that strategy this year with my littles (though dd doesn't like the bath nearly as well as ds does). Blessings, Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
74Heaven Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Yes, I've done the Littles with Mommy first thing in the morning for years. I highly recommend it. Then the youngest (or two sometimes) go right to their bedrooms for (babygated if necessary) room play time. I use this hour of play time to get everyone going and hopefully work with the Bigs one-on-one. Also, having the Bigs get up early with me (all in our jammies and robes still) and this works *great* when I can stay motivated about meeting them at 630 am for Math and Science. Then we break for breakfast and getting dressed and chores - and we do Lang Arts after that and their Latin and Spanish are pretty independent. I am pretty good about meeting with the youngers for hte first several weeks of school. Then.... I'm not so good about it. It sure works well when I do it tho. Lisaj, mom to 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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