Taking away things from the class

[mom2lydia]

My dd teacher is about on my last nerve lately. I'm told by my daughter the class rarely gets gym/PE because the teacher takes it away for not paying enough attention or doing their work. Maybe they need that time to wind down a bit. Since the school has no gym teacher until either 3rd or 4th grade it's left up to the teachers to teach gym. This means there really is no oversight as to if the kids are getting it or not or what they are doing. She has taken one recess away during the course of the day. They have 2 recesses but each is only a 15 min recess including time to get in and out of the building. The teacher threatened to take away the class Christmas party but did give warnings to the kids. She wrote something on the board and took a letter at a time away for not sitting quietly and listening during class time. Now my daughter has told me that she took away the Valentine's party, which she just sent papers home Friday to the parents about it being on the 13th not the 14th and that we would be notified if we had signed up to help with the party. No reason given for taking it away she just took it. I just sent an email to the teacher wanting to know why it was taken away. I also told her that since we had already bought the valentine's and my child had already taken the time to fill them out she would be bringing them to school party or no party. I understand it's "only $3" but my child spent time picking the perfect sticker and valentine for each kid in her class, filling out the cards, etc and she is going to be taking them to school. This teacher has just really been driving me nuts all year with things like this. I'm just not sure what else to do besides talking to the teacher. My dd is in 2nd grade BTW.

[Dmmetler]

One thing you might want to check before making too many waves-have you read the Shirley Jackson story "Charles" (my DD just read it for Jr. Great Books, so it's in my mind), where the parent discovers, after her son comes home and tells about all the awful things that are happening at school, that her SON is actually the cause of most of them.

 

To me, a teacher taking away PE, parties, and the like probably has more than one problem in the group, and I've seen even very, very normally well behaved kids go haywire when others in the class are doing so-which then pushes the teacher over the edge to taking more and more drastic steps, which pushes even MORE well behaved kids into going haywire because they're being punished anyway, and so on. If your child is participating, at all, in the class behavior, the first step in breaking the chain is for her to go back to behaving the same way she would with a teacher who actually HAD good classroom management skills, and for other parents to do the same with their kids. If a majority of the class truly deserves a party, recess, PE, whatever, it's a lot easier to point out that the teacher is being unreasonable than if a principal sees the class's behavior and thinks "I wouldn't have a party for them, either!".

 

 

I'm seeing this with my own 8 yr old in dance-they have three teachers, and my DD has commented that one of them is a "big kid"-he tends to try to be a friend and then has trouble pulling a group of 6-9 yr olds, who would never THINK of stepping out of line for their other dance teachers, together. And now, as recital fast approaches, he's getting "mean"-and resorting to yelling to try to get the girls to listen to him-which then has the more sensitive kids very upset that they've messed up (like my DD, who is definitely the "Cries if you look at her cross-eyed" one in the group), and it's still leading to wasted time, which leads to more yelling, etc. The moms have started staying in the hall for the class so we could hear what was going on, and, individually, telling our kids flat out that we don't CARE that he spends half the time playing-you need to not play, listen to the man, and let him teach, because then he won't get to the yelling part that upsets you, and you'll actually have a dance to do at recital (and I don't think many of us are planning to continue after the recital unless the school gets a different teacher for that class-but at this point we're stuck). Basically, when a grown up isn't acting like a grown up, but there's a job to do, sometimes the kids have to be the grown ones.

[Nart]

I used to teach elementary school and I can picture a few scenarios.

1. The teacher doesn't like teaching PE or having parties, so she is more than happy to use any excuse to cancel the activities. Check and see if in your state PE is mandated by the state. I taught in California and Physical Education for elementary school students is required by state law for a minimum of 200 minutes every 10 days. It is one of the only subjects that has a listed number of minutes per week.

2. The teacher has poor classroom management and every year she tries to control the class by taking away PE, which ends up backfiring because kids are better able to pay attention after they exercise.

3. The teacher is a good teacher but has a really difficult class this year and is really frustrated by the "chemistry" of the class and probably by a couple of difficult kids in particular. Do you know anyone who had the teacher last year?

[MBM]

My dd teacher is about on my last nerve lately. I'm told by my daughter the class rarely gets gym/PE because the teacher takes it away for not paying enough attention or doing their work. Maybe they need that time to wind down a bit. Since the school has no gym teacher until either 3rd or 4th grade it's left up to the teachers to teach gym. This means there really is no oversight as to if the kids are getting it or not or what they are doing. She has taken one recess away during the course of the day. They have 2 recesses but each is only a 15 min recess including time to get in and out of the building. The teacher threatened to take away the class Christmas party but did give warnings to the kids. She wrote something on the board and took a letter at a time away for not sitting quietly and listening during class time. Now my daughter has told me that she took away the Valentine's party, which she just sent papers home Friday to the parents about it being on the 13th not the 14th and that we would be notified if we had signed up to help with the party. No reason given for taking it away she just took it. I just sent an email to the teacher wanting to know why it was taken away. I also told her that since we had already bought the valentine's and my child had already taken the time to fill them out she would be bringing them to school party or no party. I understand it's "only $3" but my child spent time picking the perfect sticker and valentine for each kid in her class, filling out the cards, etc and she is going to be taking them to school. This teacher has just really been driving me nuts all year with things like this. I'm just not sure what else to do besides talking to the teacher. My dd is in 2nd grade BTW.

 

 

Moving around is the remedy to getting kids to quiet down. They need to move. Give the teacher a copy of the book Spark which explains very well what moving does for kids. It sounds like this teacher does not know how to calm down groups of kids. I'm sure she must be flustered as well. Maybe some of the parents could volunteer to teach or help out with gym and give her a break?

 

I have also found that especially in the younger grades, parents should make an effort to know one another so they can compare notes. There's more power when a group addresses problems than just one.

[SKL]

Personally I think that 2nd grade is too young to be taking away physical activity time, regardless of the reason. Maybe it would help to suggest an organized "punitive" physical activity for times when the whole class goes bonkers.

 

My dd's teacher occasionally takes away recess from a child if she's screwing up. It is dumb in my opinion, but at least it doesn't happen often.

 

As for the parties, it would make more sense IMO for her to give the kids some work to do rather than take away something in the future. I can relate to not wanting the hassle of the parties, but maybe what she needs to do is scale back her grand plans and get more help from the kids.

 

And in general, it sounds like she needs some coaching on effective discipline and crowd control for the age group.

[mathnerd]

I live in California and PE is mandated. My son's school and school district has a published set of disciplinary actions for bad behaviour. The teacher and principal went through them with all incoming students and parents. So, ask to see their disciplinary action philosophy. Ask the teacher why she is not following it and take it up with the principal.

In my son's school, there is a multi-step process starting with sitting alone in a "thinking corner" and progresses on to other things before meeting with the principal.

[SarahW]

This happens in my son's kindergarten too.

 

Apparently, yesterday they had only two minutes of playground time.

 

I don't know what to make of this either. His teacher is very experienced, and very sweet. Son says the reason why they lose playground time is because the class doesn't pay attention, or isn't quiet. So maybe the teacher says "okay, if you want to goof off now then we'll have to finish the work during playground time!"

 

Sometimes they end up eating lunch in the classroom too because they are doing something in the time they are supposed to go to the cafeteria. It's an all-day kindergarten, but I think the school is trying to squeeze too much in. Common Core and FCAT and all that jazz.

 

The teacher never cancels parties though, and there's a lot of parties. Cancelling Valentine's Day is very weird. But if the teacher is looking at the calender, and looking at the sheet which says she has to meet certain benchmarks within three months, maybe she thinks she can't lose the instruction time?

[mom2lydia]

I did find out from the teacher why the party was cancelled. She is having a problem with the majority, with very few exceptions, with bullying, not respecting each other, mean note writing, pushing, shoving, etc. She replied to my email as well as sent a note home to each parent about the reason for canceling the party. It breaks my heart to think of kids that are 7-8 being that mean to each other. She said that the class behavior can not be rewarded with a party at this time. She hopes that each parent will talk with their child about treating others with respect and kindness. She did tell me in the email that my child is one of the few who is not doing these things but so many are that she did not feel a class reward was acceptable and that she does give rewards to those who deserve them when the entire class has to lose out on things and they are not a reason for it. It may be extra classroom "money" which is their reward system in the classroom and the kids earn things for certain amounts earned through the year or lose money for other things, or a special treat or recognition but that she does try to reward them and let the others know that good behavior earns rewards and inappropriate behavior has consequences as well. I am glad though to see she is taking the behaviors seriously and not just letting it go.

[kwg]

I would prob do something special with my kid......if you can swing it, maybe take her out early that day. Is that bad? :leaving: But really, why should she suffer?

[Kathleen.]

This was happening at a friend's school with her third grader. The teacher was "experienced and sweet" as well, but her class was out of control. She retired at Thanksgiving and was replaced by a young guy. The class was transformed - no more problems.

 

It sounds like this teacher has reached the end of her rope and is coping by punishing everyone.