needing some guidance on this decision

[faiths13]

Im struggling with a decision I made. I enrolled my two oldest in an Independent study program through a local charter. i have been having a hard time dealing with them arguing all day long, and wanted them to get a chance to get out more. Also, my oldest is going to be high school age this fall and I was really stressed out about being able to do it on my own. He is behind in math and science. he says he wants to go to college. he is hard to motivate and complains alot about the work i give him.

 

so the program I enrolled them in is at a closed elementary school. they have one core class a week at the school and also got an elective. since neither of them has a class at the same time i have to drop them off and pick them up, leaving them to do some of their work in the computer lab on the days they are there (3 days). Otherwise I would be driving back and forth way to much. I thought this would be a good way to get my oldest "on track" and "caught up" for high school.

 

we are now on week two. my 12 year old loves it. he hasn't wanted to go back to PS since we left 3 years ago, but he says he loves this. I think he must like being around the other kids and his class is only like 6 people. He seems to be learning alot, even though they are working on history we have already covered and he has a higher reading and vocabulary level than what they are doing. He barely has enough work to last him a whole week though, so I have given him some things to work on too. He really loves it so I just rolling with it to see how it works out.

 

My oldest son is now working at a higher level than what he is used to for science and math. it has been stressful for us both. i cant help him at all in those areas because I now dont have the teachers book. He has three teachers, whom I have met and been emailing. All who have been quick to reply and very helpful. The teacher who watches over the computer lab is also a tutor and math teacher. His science teacher has science support after classes every day. I had to take him up there yesterday because he is so stuck in science (but he got one on one because he was the only kid there). He isnt used to text books anymore and they are very hard for him to understand (me too, lol).

 

So now I am kind of regretting this decision. After some research I have realized homeschooling for high school will be easier than I thought. I dont like the fact that I have for the most part given up my kids education to the school. No say in what they are doing and now I cant really help them either. But I do like they can get out of the house, get a break from each other, meet other kids, but still be at home alot more than at PS. And that the teachers are very helpful and they seem to get a lot of one on one help. So I am just questioning whether or not I made the right decision. I know they dont have to stay in the school - they could stay for the rest of the year. But then I think if I pull out my oldest we could start working on some things to get him ready for high school (after reading and getting some advice I got an idea of what i need to change). So I just need some advice. I dont want to keep changing my mind. he says he hates it and wants to leave. part of the problem is at home he complains alot and i think wants me to help him do way too much of the work (like i find myself looking for the answers for him). and his teachers say he is bright and funny and he seems to have a totally different attitude with them when they teach/help hm.

 

So I really need some outside perspective on this situation. In a way I feel like I failed at homeschool and wonder if I can even do it with my kinder and preschooler now. thanks so much.

[fairfarmhand]

You are only on week 2. I would give it a couple weeks. Textbook reading is a developed skill. The more he works at it he will get the hang of it. I promise. Personally, in your shoes, I'd let them finish the semester or at least the quarter and then reevaluate. You can't get a realistic idea of how it will work on the first 2 weeks.

[Parrothead]

Perhaps your oldest realizes he has to work for it at school instead of talking you into doing it for him. He won't succeed in college unless he learns to work for himself. Consider letting him finish this semester to gain some skills.

[Harriet Vane]

I agree with the others. You had good reasons for putting them in the program, and the program seems to be well run, with responsive, caring teachers. He will need textbook skills for both high school and for college, so this is a good way for him to stretch into those skills. In many ways, it's ideal because he has a whole team helping him--you and the teachers. I say to stick with it, putting in the time that is necessary to learn the study skills he needs. It will serve him well in the long run.

[faiths13]

Thanks everyone. Those are good responses and help put things into perspective : )

[North Coast School]

I, too, would try to encourage him to stick with it. The "school" skills he learns this year will give you more options next year for high school.

[Arcadia]

He has three teachers, whom I have met and been emailing. All who have been quick to reply and very helpful.

.....

I dont want to keep changing my mind. he says he hates it and wants to leave. part of the problem is at home he complains alot and i think wants me to help him do way too much of the work (like i find myself looking for the answers for him). and his teachers say he is bright and funny and he seems to have a totally different attitude with them when they teach/help hm.

 

I would make him stay the rest of the school year so that he can pick up responsibility and time management skills. Some kids just need a little outside push (mine does).

I would also let him email his teachers for help and clarification. You could vet through the email before he send but I think he is old enough to start doing the asking either in person or by email.

[faiths13]

It is just been very frustrating with science. It is a lot more work then what he is used to, and the text book is very confusing for him. Its causing a lot of time and stress for us both, and it reminds me of why I hate public school. He has a deadline to get work done, and while he has less work than before, its just so much harder and its becoming a stress. i am really missing homeschool right now.

[Arcadia]

It is just been very frustrating with science. It is a lot more work then what he is used to, and the text book is very confusing for him.

 

Do you know which textbook he is using for science? Is he used to journalling/lab work for science? Ask him what his problems with science are and maybe those of us who are science majors can give you and him some tips to make it easier for him to learn.

 

For deadlines, does he have a planner and maybe even a dry erase board to write down his assignments and when they are due?

[kiana]

I would agree with the others -- I would say that these are useful skills, especially if he is running behind in science and math. I would give it more time and get him in the habit of working with teachers.

[faiths13]

his main problem with science is the text book. he is not used to doing text books at all for the past three years. we have done encyclopedias, biographies, and other types of books for science, but not texts. we havent really done much lab/experiments for science (which isnt what he's having a problem with anyway). so for science he is supposed to read a chapter, then answer about 10 or maybe a little more pages of questions from a workbook. he just cant get through the reading because its hard for him to understand. which i get because I have a really hard time with science texts, and even my dh was having a hard time when we were trying to help him. im just feeling like this approach to science isnt working for him, and now he feels like he just hates science. whereas before he didnt love science (well some things he really enjoyed) but he did it without much problem. and its not knowing when the assignments are due that is the problem, its the amount of work he has to do. so the way the school works is they give them all the assignments for the week and they have a week to finish. he just got to the point after a long day at school (today he has 3 classes at school) he got home tired and had to get on science to try to finish it because he has to turn it in class tomorrow. so he tried to read and got frustrated and just laid his head down. i just feel like this is going to turn him off to school and learning even more. like i said he basically is jumping into physics at the middle of the year when he has never done any physics before.

[Arcadia]

its the amount of work he has to do. so the way the school works is they give them all the assignments for the week and they have a week to finish. he just got to the point after a long day at school (today he has 3 classes at school) he got home tired and had to get on science to try to finish it because he has to turn it in class tomorrow. so he tried to read and got frustrated and just laid his head down. i just feel like this is going to turn him off to school and learning even more. like i said he basically is jumping into physics at the middle of the year when he has never done any physics before.

 

For the science homework that he has turn in tomorrow, did he get a week's notice for that?

 

I think the jumping into physics in the 2nd semester with no prior physics is the main problem. Not understanding the textbook just add on to the problem.

[faiths13]

 

 

For the science homework that he has turn in tomorrow, did he get a week's notice for that?

 

I think the jumping into physics in the 2nd semester with no prior physics is the main problem. Not understanding the textbook just add on to the problem.

 

Yes I agree. He did have a week, but his teacher told me on his first day of class that he needed to read chapter 4 first to understand what they are doing now (chapter 7). So he spent a day and a half working on that and not getting it all either. I knew he needed to turn in his assignment though, so I had him start on that. Then he wasn't getting that so I took him in for a study session with his teacher. That helped him get through some of what he needed to do.

[Arcadia]

His science teacher sounds great. I would ask the teacher as a parent how long it might take for your son to catch up on the first semester work that he has not done. Go for the after school support classes everyday if necessary. Make full use of the teacher's support for his learning (just think of it as free tuition for your child). As for textbook, the teacher may have tips on how to understand the textbook better or even supplementary reading that may help.

[faiths13]

His teacher is nice, but he can't go in for science support all day. The kids schedule isn't gong to allow for it unless I want to drive back and forth four times a day, which I can't do.big it was closer I would.as far as tips, she said he needs to read the whole chapter. If he doesn't understand he can see her. She has said a couple things though that basically homeschooling is bad and I don't have the knowledge to help him with science.

[Catherine]

I think it's going to be very difficult for a kid who's not accustomed to science textbooks to pick up in the middle of the year of physics without other support. If it was me, I would meet with the science teacher, the principal, guidance counselor, and work on a plan to bring him up to speed somehow in this one subject.

 

His difficulty here is not your fault; he has missed the foundational first half of this course and it's not surprising that he can't start in the middle, particularly given that he's had a different kind of science education up until now and it's not a favorite subject.

 

I have to chime in on the issue of homeschooling high school. I agreed to it for a child who was not very compliant, and it was really difficult. We muddled through in the end with a lot of outside classes, which went much better, but I think kids like this need a teacher who is not mom. Start the accountability now, would be my advice. Help him and work with him, but make him accountable to someone else. He'll be better off in the long run.

[mom2att]

Just keep plugging away and re-evaluate again after week 4. Chances are that while it will still be difficult for him and maybe still not much fun, it will be improving. I think that 8th grade is a great time to start to juggle different schedules, teacher, expectations, etc. Even if you homeschool for high school and don't outsource at all, these are skills that he will need for college. It's a lot better to fall on your face learning these things in 8th grade, when it doesn't "count," than it will be freshman year of college when not only does it count, but you are paying for it!

 

As for science, help him learn how to read a text. You may have to read it with him or even to him for awhile. But in the end you will likely both learn a lot. :)

[lmrich]

Just to be clear, he is entering the class mid year? Not at the start of a new semester? He is jumping into a class that is 1/2 way though the material. If that is the case, no wonder it is hard. Give it more time. Is it possible for him to drop the science and pick up a different class?

 

Your reasons for relying on outside classes are valid. If he is considering college, he needs to get used to textbooks.

[fairfarmhand]

As far as textbooks, I showed my daughter how textbooks almost always follow an outline. Generally the first page or so is an overview. Then they go into more detail. They talk about point A and give specific thoughts on how point A operates, then they go onto point B. Learning to outline a chapter, while it takes tons more work, helps a TON. My dd doesnt's have to write every sentence in her outline, but simply including the main points and the BOLDFACE terms helps to cement what she has read in her head.

 

My dd had no clue that words in italics and bold were important. It sounds like your son is faced with a week's worth of assignments and just gets overwhelmed before he even gets started. So, my thing would be this. On the day that he first gets his assignments, I would sit down with him and break apart the list for Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 so he has a concrete goal for each day. He's still young for this skill. Most kids his age depend on a teacher to do this for him.

 

For the first couple weeks he will need to expect more work, since he's sort of "behind" from starting midyear. Also, if he can get the information by watching tutorials on Khan academy and YouTube (bozeman science has some great ones

) I would simpy allow him to skim the text. As long as he can answer the questions in each section.

 

This is doable. Really.

[Candid]

You can also investigating a teacher's book if you feel the need for one at home.

[faiths13]

I havent had to read a text since school myself, so honestly I would be useless at teaching him how to read one, lol. He is starting mid year and at the beginning of the semester, so they are prob half way through the book now. It is a complicated topic that he has never covered and the material is confusing, even to me. I am going to see if I can try to take him twice a week for the science support, but its hard to not feel overwhelmed by just trying to keep up with the science and have everything else on the back burner just to get it done. I told him he just needs to try his hardest to do what he can, get help with what he can, and not worry about his grade right now. He's just been so stressed out and angry and exhausted. He has tried to do many hours of science this week already. He was trying to skim the text for answers and that wasnt working. When his teacher found out she told him not to do it and to read the whole chapter, then work on the worksheets. well he just gets stuck reading something he doesnt get. I tried helping him, so did my dh, but we both were stumped on it too. Science is not our strong suites either. He hasnt want to go back to PS at all, but he says he likes this school, which is surprising. He has gotten several compliments from teachers, so hopefully we can work this science problem out.