Ottakee Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 We were foster parents for 10 years during which time we adopted our 3 kids and fostered over 100 others. Most of the kids had special medical, behavioral, or learning needs. We then took a break for a few years and just got relicensed this spring. Right now we have a 16 year old girl through the Juvenille Criminal Justice program. There is a lot to her history but we also have a lot of support with case workers, probation officers, counselors, etc. Before here we did respite several times for a 13 year old boy with some acting out behaviors. With close supervision it worked for weekends but we couldn't do that full time. Last night we got a call for a 10 year old from a disrupted adoption with attachment issues, ADHD, acting out behaviors, etc. Just wondering if anyone else does specialized foster care---teens, special needs, etc? I know we can't mention much about the specifics of the kids on line but support is always nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 We have done treatment foster care (our newly thirteen year old daughter came into our family this way---sadly we're still waiting for TPR but she has now been with us for almost three years). We are also licensed to do emergency foster care for medically fragile kids and medical respite. The eight year old who came to us a few weeks ago we met as medical respite child. She was abandoned at our home and the paper work is churning for us to have her as a long term treatment foster child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 We are just now looking into foster care, so we aren't officially there yet...but I just wanted to say thank you for what you are doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 Yes, Thank you very much. I am thinking of doing this at some point before I get too old to keep up with youngsters, but right now is a hard time. We need my income too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in TN Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 We fostered from 2007 to this summer. We didn't "specialize" but only received infants, mostly newborns straight from the hospital. The oldest child we had was 23 months. We have adopted 2 of the infants placed with us. They are now almost 5 and When we went through our classes we were took they almost never get infants especially newborns because they are placed with a relative right away. That hasn't been our experience. Our social worker told us that once you are known for accepting a certain "type" of child and are good with them, they placement team will make sure to call you first when a child fitting comes into care. After adopting 2 children and have a surprise baby in the last 2 years on too of fosters several babies, we are taking a break for at least a year. I'm hoping we can get back to it before too long. I didn't realize how much I would miss it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 We have done treatment foster care (our newly thirteen year old daughter came into our family this way---sadly we're still waiting for TPR but she has now been with us for almost three years). We are also licensed to do emergency foster care for medically fragile kids and medical respite. The eight year old who came to us a few weeks ago we met as medical respite child. She was abandoned at our home and the paper work is churning for us to have her as a long term treatment foster child. I was wondering how it was all panning out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted December 2, 2012 Author Share Posted December 2, 2012 When we started foster care we were told NOT to expect babies and toddlers as there were just very very few of them coming into the system. I know they also say that as many couples want to adopt very young ones and use foster care to do so-----which can work out but sometimes the kids go home or to relatives. Our youngest daughter came to us at 2 days old as we already had her sister who was 14 months old at the time but had come at 7 months old. We had a 6 pound, 6 week old preemie with 4 broken bones and many other infants and toddlers. I think we got the reputation of being good with them, esp. those with medical or other special needs. This juvenille justice foster care is a new one for us. We didn't sign up for it but a friend of mine works for the agency and knew this 16 year old that needed a home for 4-6 weeks and so we ended up with her as no one else was willing to take her. The other juvenile justice homes have boys and you just don't mix the boys and girls :-) in the same home. We are mostly looking at doing respite and emergency care right now, not really long term foster care but we dont' know what the Lord has in mind for us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 We are a therapeutic home (our kids have ranged from basic to moderate to specialized). We take mostly kids from placement disruptions. Honestly, I've told my agency that I really NEED to keep only behavioral kiddos, not developmental. I feel we need to specialize rather than have a bunch of different needs. Honestly, I find Monkey considerably more challenging than behavioral kiddos. I don't know how baby homes do it! My three were specialized, moderate and moderate when we adopted. My new three are specialized, basic, basic (but the one should be level'd to moderate). All six were disrupted placements (the newest three from an adoptive home) because of behavior. You could never tell my adopted three are the same kids a year and a half later though attachment continues to be an issue for two and PTSD for the other. We are considering our options. This situation with Monkey (and several other things that have built up) has us really thinking fostering may not be for us. One consideration would be doing respite. Last winter, we really enjoyed doing 2 week respites while the kids were inbetween foster homes. A few days to a couple weeks may be a good choice for us. And most of those kids are available for placement if we decided to keep one. We also considered taking only one foster kiddo at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 An odd question for you foster parents--we have a new girl on the swim team. I asked the coach about her because I'd never seen her before--it's a small town and someone new in town sticks out. The coach explained that she was a foster and was with so-and-so family. Is it common to use the foster parents' last name? I'd never run into it before. She seems like a nice kid and her swimming has really progressed. Being the newbie, she obviously isn't real close to the other girls yet (small team of only 5 girls) but they were all cheering for her! When we've known other foster kids, they all used their birth last names. Perhaps this is a kin placement foster care scenario and they share a last name. It is also possible that the foster parents have adopted her but otherwise legally they will usually need to use their given last name. We will be adopting our thirteen year old as soon as the TPR goes through and she will then get our last name (which she wants). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 We are considering our options. This situation with Monkey (and several other things that have built up) has us really thinking fostering may not be for us. One consideration would be doing respite. Last winter, we really enjoyed doing 2 week respites while the kids were inbetween foster homes. A few days to a couple weeks may be a good choice for us. And most of those kids are available for placement if we decided to keep one. We also considered taking only one foster kiddo at a time. Hugs! :grouphug: I tend to believe we should all try to treat the world with kindness but we also need to do what is right for our families and children and not get to caught up in apologizing for that. We turned down a foster placement two summers ago when our then eleven year old was really struggling. We didn't feel it was fair to her to expand the family in that moment and we didn't think we had much left over for another child after meeting the needs of the kids we had. Later that summer we did feel in a position to do a some medical respite so we did do that. I think sibling groups can be a special challenge (and for some kids/families taking them can also be a special gift). We actually haven't had that scenario yet but we have agreed that we would take the younger sister of the eight year old we currently have if she is ever found. We're sure that will be a difficult situation but we also know that the girls need to be together if at all possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted December 2, 2012 Share Posted December 2, 2012 When my kids started swimming, they used their adopted names even though they weren't adopted yet. I gave each of them a choice of what first and last name to use. All our other foster kids have used their legal names for extra curriculars. Maybe she's an adoptive placement and cool with a name change so practicing it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted December 2, 2012 Author Share Posted December 2, 2012 Pam---in general, we prefer the developmentally delayed or medical kids over the behavioral kids. Granted there is a lot of overlap and almost all foster kids have some sort of challenges---after all, they are in foster care for a reason. Our easiest most likely was our 24ds. He came at 7 1/2 years old. Not talking a great deal and developmentally about 3 or so. He still has the academic skills of a 1st-2nd grader but is a great athlete, has developed great social skills, is very well liked and can race dirtbikes with the best of them (and scare his mother to death). He has his fetal alcohol moments (where he HONESTLY can NOT remember even very simple things/directions) but we have had no attachment issues, real behavioral issues, etc. Glad there are foster homes that like all types of kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoppeltGemoppelt Posted December 3, 2012 Share Posted December 3, 2012 We are currently providing emergency medical respite for an adult relative. We love having her in our home, but it brings about many difficulties, such as keeping my part time job. I was wondering if it is common to receive a small reimbursement for providing emergency respite care? We have had her for a month now, and it seems to be turning into long term. We definitely do not want to see her going to a group home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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