A chinese mom need some advises

[mabelouyang]

Hello,everyone here,

I am a Chinese mom and I have a son who is 8 years old and in third grade. I run an English Training school in my city. I teach him English so he speaks pretty good English comparing to other Chinese kids.

He has problem for being attention during class since he was in first grade in public school. He always is absent-minded while teacher’s teaching so his schooling is not good such his Chinese and math. Since of this problem, I let him stay in home half day, and he goes to school in the morning. I help him to finish his homework of Chinese and Math. His Chinese homework usually takes at least two hours to finish not including Chinese reading. Math need be take one hour for him which is maybe can be finished in half hour by faster students. I teach him with other girl one hour English from Tuesday to Friday night. I also read aloud A Child’s History by of World by Hillyer in Chinese on Monday and Friday half hour and read aloud The Story of World half hour on Thursday and Tuesday. Why I do half day homeschooling is he doesn't pay attention and focus on the teachers’ teaching so I want to help him to catch up, and also I plan to send him to American for his high school later. Even though, he still doesn’t know very well. Like last night, I let him to finish an exam paper which need be finish in 90 minutes. He didn’t finish it, I check the score for him, he only got around 40% of score. Some information he should know and be taught already in his math class and he still doesn’t know. I am so frustrated and disappointed. I even too upset to sleep.

Chinese education is stupid and crazy as I understand. Every teacher likes the good students. If you don’t pay attention, don’t get good score for the testing, they don’t like you. I want to my son can listen during class; I don’t expect him to be top student but not the worst student in his class. He wastes his time and I spend more hours for him to try to catch up which I want to him to have more playing time. I think he is not stupid nor has any mental problem but is pretty smart. He doesn't understand the directions of text paper or exam paper. When he solves the problem for the math, he doesn’t understand the instruction very well.

I want to take him home even in the morning from school. But only my concerning is socialization. In China, homeschooling is not popularly especially in a small city. Maybe he should spend more time with his peer.

I am asking any of one can give me some advises. Right now, I think I am a nut and don’t know what should I do.

My English writing is not good. Hopefully you can understand what I mean. Any suggestions will be highly appreciated!

Mabel

[Halcyon]

First off, welcome Mabel! It is wonderful that you are taking such an interest in your child's education, both social and academic and emotional. I dont have much insight for you, but I think you might look into HSLDA for more information on the ins and outs of homeschooling in China. They have some basic information here:http://www.hslda.org/hs/international/China/default.asp as well as some contact information. Where in China are you?

 

Persoonally, I would not worry too much about the socialization, but then again, I donlt live where you live, so i cannot say how much of a concern it is. Is your son involved in activities after school now? Sports, instruments, etc? Does he haave friends in the area that you can keep in touch with even if he is homeschooled?

 

I recently read this article, and thought you might find it interesting or helpful:http://dawn.com/2012/08/28/parents-reject-chinas-classrooms-for-home-schooling/

 

Good luck, and hopefully some people with more informtion than me will post here!

[campmom]

Does he have any problems reading? Sometimes what seems to be not paying attention can be caused by vision problems. Also there could be some other sort of learning problem involved have you checked into any thing like that?

[Miselainia]

Hi, Mabel! Welcome! I am impressed that you have decided to help your son through homeschool. I don't know if I can help you or not, but my mother is Chinese and I have had Chinese exchange students, so I understand a little about your struggles.

 

The advice I would give to a friend in the United States would be very different in that I would say let him not do anything for a while and regain his love of learning and his natural curiosity. There are many options for participating in sports, scouts, theater or many other things.

 

I do not think it is so easy for you in China to do that. Perhaps you can give him have smaller assignments and then let him play or have a project of something that he wants to do (woodworking, origami, music). As he begins to be more in control of himself, you can increase his responsibilities gradually and I think he will begin to perform better in school.

 

The Chinese are hard workers and competition can be fierce, but I think that it can be overwhelming to some children. Fortunately, he has you to watch out for him and help him get his feet back under him. I think this will help him be successful more than in any other way.

 

 

Warm regards,

 

Elaine

[kiwik]

Hi. The article implies home schooling is not legal. And your son is actually going to school in the mornings? How on earth do you get away with that?

 

If I tried that here (New Zealand) the truant officers would be threatening me with legal action.

 

Well done it sounds like you are doing well.

[PhotoGal]

Hi Mabel,

 

Welcome to the forum! It sounds like you are doing a great job with your son. It is hard to give much advice since I don't know what homeschooling is like in China. But, one thought I had was that you may want to focus on the topics he is learning at school (Math, Chinese) and not focus too much on history. I don't know if he learns history at school, but here it is not that common to learn much history until later. I didn't learn Ancient history at all in school, actually, mostly just American history in upper elementary through high school.

 

Do you stay with him while he is working? Sometimes my son needs a reminder to keep going and stay on task. Maybe you could remind him before he starts to read the directions (or have him read the directions to you before he begins) until he gets in the habit.

[HejKatt]

Why I do half day homeschooling is he doesn't pay attention and focus on the teachers’ teaching so I want to help him to catch up..

He doesn't understand the directions of text paper or exam paper. When he solves the problem for the math, he doesn’t understand the instruction very well.

Welcome, Mabel!

 

IMHO, I would explore his learning style - does he understand a textbook better if it has step-by-step pictures, but if the same information is related verbally to him he has a hard time understanding/remembering it? Is he significantly disadvantaged if he doesn't follow what the teacher says (because the teacher talks about ideas that are not in the text, but will be in the exam?)

 

I also agree with another PP to check if he does better if you sit beside him (needs help to focus), or gets small reminders of what steps to take in a problem (needs help with drilling).

[SonshineLearner]

Some problems may be that he's having vision issues (tracking) not the same as saying he needs glasses.

He may be dyslexic.

He may have an Attention Issue. My son is helped with medication, and he can concentrate more, now.

For math, Singapore Math would a good math program if you don't have a math curriculum.

I know someone from Japan that learned English very well by listening to good cds. He particularly listened to some that would not work for you, but I would think that the Story of the World would be good to listen to as well as some others that are simple to understand.

Good Luck!!!

[Laura Corin]

Welcome, Mabel. I lived in China (Kunming) for four years and homeschooled my children there.

 

It's a difficult situation. There is a lot of social pressure on you to keep your child in school, but it does not seem like a good environment. I have heard of one Chinese child whose parents were allowed to teach him at home and he only went to school for exams, but I don't know how that fits with the law. I think it was a special arrangement with a particular school. I think you need to look carefully at how your child can take school exams if you homeschool, as otherwise you might cut off the opportunity to attend university in China. Going to America is a great idea, but it would be a shame to throw away opportunities in China.

 

If you are sure that your child will go to America for college, and you will not have legal problems if you withdraw him from school, there are other ways for him to spend time with children. My sons played with the local children in our apartment complex in the evenings. They also went to martial arts classes. There may be foreign homeschoolers in your area, even if there are no Chinese homeschoolers. If you employ foreign teachers in your school, they may know of family organisations for foreigners that might have information.

 

If you are heading for an American college, then later on you will need to think about building a transcript and taking relevant exams (SAT and maybe SAT subject tests or AP exams). If there is an international school nearby, you may be able to pay for your son to take the exams there.

 

Best of luck. You are in a really difficult situation.

 

Regards

 

Laura

[JadeOrchidSong]

Welcome, Mabel!

I know there are good number of homeschool families in Beijing, Guangzhou, and Xi'an. More and more people consider homeschool now because the public schools give students too much pressure and too much homework.

My niece had to bring her 7 year old daughter home because there are 80 students in one class with one teacher and she was struggling with following the teaching and obeying the rules. I highly suspect that the poor girl was kicked out as a troubled student.

Mabel, I hope you can find a good way to teach your child. Which city do you live in?

[mabelouyang]

First off, welcome Mabel! It is wonderful that you are taking such an interest in your child's education, both social and academic and emotional. I dont have much insight for you, but I think you might look into HSLDA for more information on the ins and outs of homeschooling in China. They have some basic information

 

Hi, Halcyon. Thank you for yourinformation. I will try to do more research and try to connect with morehomeschoolers. He goes to swim and there are some his friends live in my campus.But they have lot homework to do.

I like your blog even though I haven’t readtoo much. I will read more to learn your experience. You are a sweet mother.

:001_smile:

[Hedgehogs4]

Hi Mabel,

I too, lived in China for 2.5 years and taught English in a University there. The pressure on students is phenomenal, and I know that there is little room for a kid to "be himself" in the classroom. You are bound to just do what the teacher says and learn what you must learn.

 

You are his mom. You know him best. Is he a funny, silly boy? Is he serious? Is he interested in something that is not being satisfied because he has to study all the time?

 

You might try a different approach than the traditional Chinese ways. Can you make a game out of some of his work? Can you reward him by saying he can do something that interests him if he finishes his work quickly? This may be a completely new idea, and I am not suggesting that discipline in study is not important, but he is so young, and all children need to feel like they are understood and loved for who they are. If you can balance the two of those things, perhaps you will see some progress.

 

Like some others have said, perhaps you should have his eyes checked and make sure that all is well in his development, but really, little boys are little boys and I bet that he is not the only one struggling in school.

[mabelouyang]

Thank you all so much and your encouragement.I have problem to get in this website and even I don’t know how to reply one byone, so I am reply all here.:confused:

Campmom, My son’s English is good comparingwith other Chinese students but off course way behind American peers. He isshortsighted and has a lazy eye. I don’t if he doesn’t pay attention enoughbecause of this. He wears glasses during class time.

Elaine, you give me a good advice. Maybe Iwill give him more options. It’s not easy to do this since I only have onechild maybe cannot have more children. Maybe in my heart, I don’t want him tobe consider be stupid. You know, as a traditional Chinese mother’s thinking. ButI also understand you can do exam well and memorize well doesn’t mean you havea bright future. Every Chinese parent and every teacher prefer the kids whohave the high score. Since your mother is Chinese, do you think you still teachyour children in Chinese way or western way? Thank you! Elaine, I will try mybest to not to be crazy mom and give him more choices.

Kiwik, The homeschooling is illegal. But thelaws are not strict. I can make a deal with school, just my son’s exam cannotbe too bad, if so, the school will me hard time.

HipGal. thank you for your kindencouragement. About history, he likes them, especially in Chinese language. I readthem aloud half hour on Monday and Wednesday as read aloud story time. Readaloud to him The story of world in English, for improving his English listenability. I read them aloud on Tuesday and Thursday.

Yes. I do stay with him now. But you reallyneed him to read aloud the directions. He doesn’t want work harder.

Leeyeewah, let me explain one math problemto you here: “There is a land in rectangle shape. It is 20 meters long and 15meters wide. If the length add 3 meters and wide add 2 meters. So how manymeter is the circumference added than before.†He didn’t know the logic at all.I help him with drilling.

MayfiesMama, I don’t have time to do other math curriculum. What Ido just help him to finish his homework and sometimes let him do some exampaper just see if we have time but not too much. Yes, I bought the Story of theWord and the CD for my son. I read aloud to him even though I need pre-readingby myself. My son likes it especially the make mummy part. I need explain a lotsince the big words in the story.

Laura, Kunming is a beautiful city. We went to Yunnan two yearsago. If I want to take him to home for whole day, I can find a school for theexam stuff, just for keep his student’s ID so that he can attend the test for college.I just plan to send my son to western country especially maybe United States ifI can afford it or he can pass the SSAT and interview. I think Chinese highschool students spend too much time for doing the exam papers instead ofthinking by themselves. This way kills our imagination. I don’t want my sonjust learn the information but also know how to think. But I don’t know what itwill happen.

In our school, there is an American couple but they don’t havekids yet. So there aren’t any other homeschooler here which is bad.

Aomom, Thank you a lot! I live inPingxiang, Jiangxi province. I will do my best to treat my son. I really don’twant hurt him and he can grow up in a happy way. So that’s why these days I amso struggling. Maybe I need more to pray.

Hi, Kelly. My son is immature comparingwith other peers. Maybe he just need time to develop his brain. Sometimes thepressure is from the teachers sometimes from myself.

Thank you all! I will pray and come heremoreJ Have a good to allJ

[mabelouyang]

Since I don't have much time to use computer, so I didn't check my English much. :001_smile:

[Pen]

Thank you all so much and your encouragement.I have problem to get in this website and even I don’t know how to reply one byone, so I am reply all here.:confused:

Campmom, My son’s English is good comparingwith other Chinese students but off course way behind American peers. He isshortsighted and has a lazy eye. I don’t if he doesn’t pay attention enoughbecause of this. He wears glasses during class time.

Elaine, you give me a good advice. Maybe Iwill give him more options. It’s not easy to do this since I only have onechild maybe cannot have more children. Maybe in my heart, I don’t want him tobe consider be stupid. You know, as a traditional Chinese mother’s thinking. ButI also understand you can do exam well and memorize well doesn’t mean you havea bright future. Every Chinese parent and every teacher prefer the kids whohave the high score. Since your mother is Chinese, do you think you still teachyour children in Chinese way or western way? Thank you! Elaine, I will try mybest to not to be crazy mom and give him more choices.

Kiwik, The homeschooling is illegal. But thelaws are not strict. I can make a deal with school, just my son’s exam cannotbe too bad, if so, the school will me hard time.

HipGal. thank you for your kindencouragement. About history, he likes them, especially in Chinese language. I readthem aloud half hour on Monday and Wednesday as read aloud story time. Readaloud to him The story of world in English, for improving his English listenability. I read them aloud on Tuesday and Thursday.

Yes. I do stay with him now. But you reallyneed him to read aloud the directions. He doesn’t want work harder.

Leeyeewah, let me explain one math problemto you here: “There is a land in rectangle shape. It is 20 meters long and 15meters wide. If the length add 3 meters and wide add 2 meters. So how manymeter is the circumference added than before.†He didn’t know the logic at all.I help him with drilling.

MayfiesMama, I don’t have time to do other math curriculum. What Ido just help him to finish his homework and sometimes let him do some exampaper just see if we have time but not too much. Yes, I bought the Story of theWord and the CD for my son. I read aloud to him even though I need pre-readingby myself. My son likes it especially the make mummy part. I need explain a lotsince the big words in the story.

Laura, Kunming is a beautiful city. We went to Yunnan two yearsago. If I want to take him to home for whole day, I can find a school for theexam stuff, just for keep his student’s ID so that he can attend the test for college.I just plan to send my son to western country especially maybe United States ifI can afford it or he can pass the SSAT and interview. I think Chinese highschool students spend too much time for doing the exam papers instead ofthinking by themselves. This way kills our imagination. I don’t want my sonjust learn the information but also know how to think. But I don’t know what itwill happen.

In our school, there is an American couple but they don’t havekids yet. So there aren’t any other homeschooler here which is bad.

Aomom, Thank you a lot! I live inPingxiang, Jiangxi province. I will do my best to treat my son. I really don’twant hurt him and he can grow up in a happy way. So that’s why these days I amso struggling. Maybe I need more to pray.

Hi, Kelly. My son is immature comparingwith other peers. Maybe he just need time to develop his brain. Sometimes thepressure is from the teachers sometimes from myself.

Thank you all! I will pray and come heremoreJ Have a good to allJ

 

 

I will come back and reply more soon. This will help me get back again.

 

How to reply to individual messages is to click in the bottom right corner below the message where there is a blue long oval that says in it "reply". Or at least that is how it looks on mine.

[Pen]

Hello,everyone here,

I am a Chinese mom and I have a son who is 8 years old and in third grade. I run an English Training school in my city. I teach him English so he speaks pretty good English comparing to other Chinese kids.

Hello, Welcome! That is wonderful. Probably even if some other areas need improvement, his languages will be a big help to him.

 

 

He has problem for being attention during class since he was in first grade in public school. He always is absent-minded while teacher’s teaching so his schooling is not good such his Chinese and math.

 

It might be helpful to try to figure out why this is so. Is he better able to pay attention in other situations? My son is very easily distracted by just about anything. He did not learn in school, not only for that reason, but many things all adding together to be a problem, which is a main reason for why I decided to home school him. He is now catching up.

 

Since of this problem, I let him stay in home half day, and he goes to school in the morning. I help him to finish his homework of Chinese and Math. His Chinese homework usually takes at least two hours to finish not including Chinese reading. Math need be take one hour for him which is maybe can be finished in half hour by faster students.

 

Is he struggling and working hard during this time? Or is he being distracted and not working? Or what is actually happening? How long does the Chinese part of the work take for most students--also half as long?

 

I teach him with other girl one hour English from Tuesday to Friday night. I also read aloud A Child’s History by of World by Hillyer in Chinese on Monday and Friday half hour and read aloud The Story of World half hour on Thursday and Tuesday.

That sounds wonderful! We used Story of the World, and it is a fun way to get some feeling for history, and in your son and the other girl's cases also to learn more English.

 

Why I do half day homeschooling is he doesn't pay attention and focus on the teachers’ teaching so I want to help him to catch up, and also I plan to send him to American for his high school later. Even though, he still doesn’t know very well. Like last night, I let him to finish an exam paper which need be finish in 90 minutes. He didn’t finish it, I check the score for him, he only got around 40% of score. Some information he should know and be taught already in his math class and he still doesn’t know.

 

Well, sometimes even though a child is smart, they can have difficulties with learning for various reasons. My son, for example, had troubles due to a thing we call "dyslexia" which causes reading to be difficult, and also sometimes affects parts of math, writing and other areas. (It is not the only possible thing that might be going on, but it is one that comes to mind, because it is very, very common.)

 

Also sometimes children learn in different ways than what is being used to teach them. For example, some children need much more touching, tactile, kinesthetic experience. (I am using a group of words all to try to get at the same thing, hoping one of them will make sense to you.) But the way teaching is done is often talking and writing things on a board, and that may not work well for a child who needs to touch things to learn well. He might need to actually make a model (using centimeters so that it can be small enough to work with) of the type of question you gave as an example, and actually take out a measuring device and measure his model.

 

Sometimes it takes a lot of figuring out by the parent to find a way that a particular child can learn. My son also has not been easy to figure out what methods will work well, but it has improved very much.

 

 

 

I am so frustrated and disappointed. I even too upset to sleep.

:grouphug: Do sleep. Not sleeping won't help either of you!

 

 

 

Chinese education is stupid and crazy as I understand. Every teacher likes the good students. If you don’t pay attention, don’t get good score for the testing, they don’t like you. I want to my son can listen during class; I don’t expect him to be top student but not the worst student in his class. He wastes his time and I spend more hours for him to try to catch up which I want to him to have more playing time. I think he is not stupid nor has any mental problem but is pretty smart. He doesn't understand the directions of text paper or exam paper. When he solves the problem for the math, he doesn’t understand the instruction very well.

 

As his mother, you are likely correct in your observation that he is smart. That he has trouble figuring out directions makes me think there is a reading problem of some type. The two main things I think of are an actual vision problem, or dyslexia.

 

 

I want to take him home even in the morning from school. But only my concerning is socialization. In China, homeschooling is not popularly especially in a small city. Maybe he should spend more time with his peer.

I am asking any of one can give me some advises. Right now, I think I am a nut and don’t know what should I do.

My English writing is not good. Hopefully you can understand what I mean. Any suggestions will be highly appreciated!

Mabel

 

My son is also an only child. I understand the worry about socialization. For us, homeschooling was definitely better than going to a regular school.

 

If you decide to home school full time, you will probably be able to find some activities or other ways for him to be with other children enough. Some friends and swimming is probably enough. Or maybe he could go to the school one time per week during a play time, or cut it down to just one morning to be with other children, or something like that.

[Pen]

give him more choices.

Kiwik, The homeschooling is illegal. But thelaws are not strict. I can make a deal with school, just my son’s exam cannotbe too bad, if so, the school will me hard time.

...

Leeyeewah, let me explain one math problemto you here: “There is a land in rectangle shape. It is 20 meters long and 15meters wide. If the length add 3 meters and wide add 2 meters. So how manymeter is the circumference added than before.†He didn’t know the logic at all.I help him with drilling.

...

MayfiesMama, I don’t have time to do other math curriculum. What Ido just help him to finish his homework and sometimes let him do some exampaper just see if we have time but not too much. Yes, I bought the Story of theWord and the CD for my son. I read aloud to him even though I need pre-readingby myself. My son likes it especially the make mummy part. I need explain a lotsince the big words in the story.

Laura, Kunming is a beautiful city. We went to Yunnan two yearsago. If I want to take him to home for whole day, I can find a school for theexam stuff, just for keep his student’s ID so that he can attend the test for college.I just plan to send my son to western country especially maybe United States ifI can afford it or he can pass the SSAT and interview. I think Chinese highschool students spend too much time for doing the exam papers instead ofthinking by themselves. This way kills our imagination. I don’t want my sonjust learn the information but also know how to think. But I don’t know what itwill happen....

 

The parts about needing to know how to do the logic of the math problem and learning how to think (not just to memorize) are important. If you do take him out of school for the whole day, then maybe you can use a different curriculum that will help him better.

 

American schools often also spend what seems like too much time preparing for exams, and too little learning how to think!!! Though I do think we value imagination more here. (from what I know--I have never been to China, though I wish I could go)

 

May I suggest spending some time doing some art and some other creative things your son might like right now? I think that might be good for both of you to do, in fact.

 

If you have Story of the World as audio, you can let your son listen over and over. He will learn a lot and it will also be good for hearing the pronunciation of American English.

[CatholicMom]

Hi Mabel,

 

I don't know anything about homeschooling in China, so I'm not much help with that ;). But, in general, I encourage you to try to relax and remember that your little boy is only 8 years old and little boys have a lot of energy. They have other things they like to daydream about instead of paying attention to instructions! I think this is normal at 8 years old, although frustrating for you. I understand, trust me! But it's human nature for parents to be impatient and worried, and it's also human nature for children to be lazy & not paying attention. Sometimes there's nothing "wrong" other than working on both of these things... more patience on our part, and encouraging our children to work harder on their part.

 

I think it might help you to look into "learning styles" like another person said. Even though you know your child well, it helps to read a book about learning styles to help you understand how your child learns and realize what his preferences are. This has helped me a lot. Although, you also have to make sure you're teaching the way YOU understand how to teach. Sometimes the way you need to teach is a bit different than the way your son learns the best. If that's the case, I tend to think you should teach the way you understand how to teach, or the way you know it will get done. We can't always cater to the ideal way our children learn best, but it's good to consider it.

 

This might seem silly, but maybe you could talk to him about paying attention to instructions and why it's important (not when the situation is frustrating, though). There are even some games that are supposed to help kids practice becoming better listeners while having fun. Maybe you could try something like that to help him "practice" listening to instructions for the first time.

 

Maybe you don't have a choice about whether or not to do the written papers, and I don't know how long they have to be, but I know that my 8 year old would have a hard time, too! You said he is also immature for his age. So I think all the more that he may just need time to develop his thinking and writing abilities since he is young. Easy for me to say, though, since I am not dealing with the exams and all. :)

 

That's a hard situation, but your son is blessed with a mother who loves him and wants to help him succeed!

[mabelouyang]

Hello, Welcome! That is wonderful. Probably even if some other areas need improvement, his languages will be a big help to him.

 

 

That sounds wonderful! We used Story of the World, and it is a fun way to get some feeling for history, and in your son and the other girl's cases also to learn more English.

 

 

 

Well, sometimes even though a child is smart, they can have difficulties with learning for various reasons. My son, for example, had troubles due to a thing we call "dyslexia" which causes reading to be difficult, and also sometimes affects parts of math, writing and other areas. (It is not the only possible thing that might be going on, but it is one that comes to mind, because it is very, very common.)

 

Also sometimes children learn in different ways than what is being used to teach them. For example, some children need much more touching, tactile, kinesthetic experience. (I am using a group of words all to try to get at the same thing, hoping one of them will make sense to you.) But the way teaching is done is often talking and writing things on a board, and that may not work well for a child who needs to touch things to learn well. He might need to actually make a model (using centimeters so that it can be small enough to work with) of the type of question you gave as an example, and actually take out a measuring device and measure his model.

 

Sometimes it takes a lot of figuring out by the parent to find a way that a particular child can learn. My son also has not been easy to figure out what methods will work well, but it has improved very much.

.

 

Hi, Pen. Thank you for your detailed replyJ It really helps me to think about it more. I think there are two problems. First he doesn’t care or just has day dream when he does his homework, second he cannot understand the text or the instructions very well because he didn’t have good learning habit when he was younger since I was busy before for my job. I need figure out a fine and wiser way to help and teach him. When he thinks it is fun, he can be focus. Like sometimes I read a story to him, he really can be concentrate.

[mabelouyang]

The parts about needing to know how to do the logic of the math problem and learning how to think (not just to memorize) are important. If you do take him out of school for the whole day, then maybe you can use a different curriculum that will help him better.

 

American schools often also spend what seems like too much time preparing for exams, and too little learning how to think!!! Though I do think we value imagination more here. (from what I know--I have never been to China, though I wish I could go)

 

May I suggest spending some time doing some art and some other creative things your son might like right now? I think that might be good for both of you to do, in fact.

 

If you have Story of the World as audio, you can let your son listen over and over. He will learn a lot and it will also be good for hearing the pronunciation of American English.

 

Tonight, I talked to a high school student who is in 10th grade. He told me every night they need finish homework until at least 11PM or 12AM and get up 5:30AM to finish all the exam papers. Even some students need work until 1AM. I don’t if there are common in US or other country also.

[mabelouyang]

Hi Mabel,

 

I don't know anything about homeschooling in China, so I'm not much help with that ;). But, in general, I encourage you to try to relax and remember that your little boy is only 8 years old and little boys have a lot of energy. They have other things they like to daydream about instead of paying attention to instructions! I think this is normal at 8 years old, although frustrating for you. I understand, trust me! But it's human nature for parents to be impatient and worried, and it's also human nature for children to be lazy & not paying attention. Sometimes there's nothing "wrong" other than working on both of these things... more patience on our part, and encouraging our children to work harder on their part.

 

I think it might help you to look into "learning styles" like another person said. Even though you know your child well, it helps to read a book about learning styles to help you understand how your child learns and realize what his preferences are. This has helped me a lot. Although, you also have to make sure you're teaching the way YOU understand how to teach. Sometimes the way you need to teach is a bit different than the way your son learns the best. If that's the case, I tend to think you should teach the way you understand how to teach, or the way you know it will get done. We can't always cater to the ideal way our children learn best, but it's good to consider it.

 

This might seem silly, but maybe you could talk to him about paying attention to instructions and why it's important (not when the situation is frustrating, though). There are even some games that are supposed to help kids practice becoming better listeners while having fun. Maybe you could try something like that to help him "practice" listening to instructions for the first time.

 

QUOTE]

 

Hi, Tara. It's nice to read your encouragement. Thank you so much!;) Do you have five children? So jealous! I really hope I could have a daughter.

Yes. I know maybe it is maybe normal for this kind of situation. If I teach other student, I really can be patient even he or she is not a good student.

You are right. I need figure it out first and think about how to teach him in a easy way before I help him.

He is not good listener. His teacher also mentioned it to me. He doesn’t have many friends in his classroom. He sometimes likes to talk to himself sometimes to talk to his toys. He doesn’t play with any children around him only the ones he likes. If some children in my home who he doesn’t care much, he choose to leave them alone and play with his toys. Even he doesn’t want to them go to his room and touch his bed and toys. Is he weird?

[Pen]

Tonight, I talked to a high school student who is in 10th grade. He told me every night they need finish homework until at least 11PM or 12AM and get up 5:30AM to finish all the exam papers. Even some students need work until 1AM. I don’t if there are common in US or other country also.

 

It is not that bad here for high school children we know. Maybe 6 hours of homework for those wanting to go to a good college though does happen if each teacher in 6 subjects has assigned an hour. Many high school students seem to be sleep deprived.

 

This is a completely other subject, but out of curiosity, I had understood that at least at one time, Chinese schools taught that the Chinese are descended from Homo Erectus. When I heard it, and heard the reasons, it seemed very persuasive. Is this still taught? Or did it change with new discoveries in DNA evidence, which now seem to show that we are all one and all Homo Sapiens? And is it true that traditional Chinese fairy tales make the bad, witch type characters blonde and the good characters dark haired (the opposite of what is often in things like Grimm's Fairy tales from Europe)?

 

I think one problem that might be worldwide is that every year there seems to be more to know. More history, more science, and yet each day is still the same length.

 

Maybe your son is an auditory learner? If he concentrates best when you read? What is he good at? His strengths? His interests?