How do i...?

[amo_mea_filiis.]

How do i train/teach ds to sit and wait a moment?

 

Where it's needed: after therapies when the therapists fill me in. Dr appts. Tons of other stuff, like, you know, LIFE! Lol.

 

Just the first step for now.

 

I do not want the end goal to be sitting while being occupied with an electronic. I'd like for him to sit quietly with a book, or small toy, without interrupting for 15 minutes.

[TheReader]

Practice on the couch/dining room table at home, for very short amounts of time first. One minute. two minutes. three minutes. Etc.

 

Invest in assorted "occupy yourself" types of activities. Fidgets. Single-player brain teasers (Rush Hour, for example; browse Think Fun games, they have a TON and you're bound to find one that fits his skills/interests). Pencil & paper so he can draw. Some sort of portable toy he can play with while out - whatever that might be for him. Maze books. Dot to dot books. Word searches (if he is not reading yet, have him highlight or circle each of one specific letter, or every time he finds the letters in his name, whether or not they are all next to each other).

 

I keep a small bag of "stuff" for my youngest so that in restaurants, doctor's appts, any and all waiting, etc. he has something to do. I find the biggest trick is coming up with the right things to keep his attention yet also keep him quiet (i.e., some toys have been a No because they occupy him, but loudly).

 

Then the toys in the bag are ONLY for outings when you need to use them. This way he doesn't tire of them after. Also, get more than you need and rotate.

 

This has worked well for my son.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

You train him in the new routine. Role play before he goes 'live'.

Decide ahead of time what the rewards are..praise, etc and decide how re-direction is going to occur.

 

He refuses role play, but maybe introducing a social story and/or timer (he thinks we're going to talk "for 5 friggen hours").

 

And i'll have to look into waiting toys. This has always backfired, so i have to think.

[fairfarmhand]

cat's cradle?

[*Michelle*]

What type of therapy is he receiving? Maybe it's something that the therapist could work with him on or help you develop a plan to accomplish the goal.

[Night Elf]

When my son was about that age, he didn't have a concept of time. If I said we would be doing something for half an hour, that didn't have any meaning for him. But when I said it was the length of time of [insert favorite tv show] and that helped him see it really wasn't as long as he thought. Does that make sense?

 

If he thinks things will take a long time, use a timer and sit with him doing things. When the timer goes off, he may be able to understand that it wasn't much time at all. I also like the idea that some activities are for those waiting times only. My kids loved activity books like someone else mentioned. But honestly, I don't see anything wrong with 15 mins. of video game time if you can get the game away when the waiting time is over. If he'll throw a tantrum for it, then it's definitely out as a possibility. That's just setting him up for failure. I'm just thinking you need to use something that really will distract him for the length of time you require. What about an educational type like something vtech or leap pad instead of a game system?

 

Does he like to draw? How about a sketch book? They are pretty cool because it's in book form and isn't lined like a notebook would be.

 

Does it have to be something that he can hold in his hands? If he can spread out, how about a small mini-puzzle?

 

Would he make a mess with playdough? Silly putty? A small amount just big enough for the hand would be plenty for a small project. Mostly, it just feels good squishing it.

 

It might be too noisy, but a hand-held like Simon or Hangman.

 

Rubik's cube?

[Mommyof4ks]

A friend told me years ago to train kids to sit quietly by starting with one minute of silence at the table with a book or a toy and work your way up over several weeks. We used that technique to get our kids to sit through church quietly, and it worked well. It did take a few months to get them to sit for 30-45 minites at a time, but it was worth it.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

My only fear with something he can spread out is that if he doesnt finish, we cant leave. He doesnt do puzzles (part of therapy). If he is not engaged with me, nothing really lasts. Electronics will cause a tantrum, but i could try downloading a video on my phone, this way it has a start and stop time. Playdoh, silly putty, etc., all become projectiles.

 

I will go to the health food store and grab some lollipops for therapy waiting.

 

We will practice a few times each day. We'll sit at the table doing nothing for 30 seconds and try to increase it.

 

His therapists have no idea. None of them really have a clue.

 

I did order a how to ABA book and am going to see what i can do. Most therapists are on board, but need me to tell them what to do.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

My child doesn't have any issues, so take this with a grain of salt. I created a secret signal with him. He knows he can stop pestering me when he sees the signal, or he can watch me blow a gasket if he continues. Works pretty well as long as I go over it right before I need to employ it. When he is standing next to me, it is a gently shoulder squeeze. When he is further away, it is me lifting a finger in the standard "wait a minute" sign.

 

Also, what about one of those visual clocks, so he can watch the 10 minutes tick down and know where is a definite end?

[Robin M]

Since electronics is what will get my son to sit still and not interrupt, I have games on my iphone that he only gets to play during that time.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

You're going to need a timer if he can't read a clock. Does your cell phone have one? Perhaps he can use it, and make tally marks each minute.

 

What does he do now when you are on the phone in order to not interrupt you?

 

My phone has a timer I can use.

 

When I'm on the phone, he does try to interrupt, bad. But since we're home, if it's an important call, I'll just walk away. He'll get bored and leave me be for a few minutes. This usually comes with a price of him getting involved in an activity that I can't get him away from.

[Slipper]

None of my girls have been patient waiters initially. We use electronics for our oldest with autism. For the other two, they can take crayons/paper and a book. I give them a timer that counts down the time (the same one I use in the kitchen actually). When it comes time to talk, I make sure to announce where the doctor or therapist can hear, "I need to talk with Dr. Smith for 10 minutes. Here is the timer and when it goes off, we will leave." I always try to give myself an extra minute, but when it goes off, we leave immediately. Occasionally, a doctor might interrupt and request that I set it to 15 minutes if they think they need a few more.

 

It works great because even if I'm talking when it goes off, I stand up and finish the conversation while I pack up. They know they can trust me to leave when the timer is finished.