Dyslexia and Homeschooling

[OnceAHomeschooler]

Hello everyone! After some research, soul searching, and having my son home instead of school this year... I really think he is Dyslexic. I have been researching some of the programs out there but I am not sure that they are a fit with my son and they are very pricey.

 

Other families with dyslexic children what have you done? How do you handle their challenges in a homeschooling environment? Anything you want to share I would love to hear. :bigear:

 

Tomorrow night I am going to a Susan Barton seminar in our town. I interested to hear what she has to say. I know her system is raved about but it is not cost effective for our family.

 

Thanks for sharing your stories or advice :)

[RamonaQ]

We used a private tutor to remediate reading and spelling. She used an O-G based program that seems to be widely available in our area, but not the whole country. The program included a segment that was based on LIPS.

 

It was a wildly successful, and honestly, I wish I would have gone the tutor route earlier. Although expensive, it was very efficient and the tutor gave us homework so we could progress rapidly, and thus we finished in about 10 months.

[Lecka]

I think Barton is really good and have used Barton Level 1. The Barton website and readingrockets.org are two of my favorite reading websites, for information.

 

I think it is important to try to pinpoint the problem.

 

For me to do that -- I read some books about reading development and could see where my son was not getting it. Then look to remediate that area.

 

My favorite books are Overcoming Dyslexia, two books by Susan Hall/Louisa Moats, and two books about Phonics by Wiley Blevins. Those are the best, best resources in my library imo.

 

Those are good resources for someone whose child is "typical" in reading struggles (which not all kids are).... having trouble with phonemic awareness, having a hard time with phonics, responding well to systematic, explicit instruction in phonemic awareness, then decoding, then fluency.

 

I like to try (it is not always possible, a lot of guessing) to pinpoint a problem, kind-of have a goal -- and then look at a program. So I know what I want to accomplish, to some extent.

 

Past that -- if your child does not pass the screen for Barton Level 1 -- that needs to be addressed. We addressed it through speech therapy, but there are other ways to address it.

 

If he does pass the screen -- there are a lot of ways to work on phonemic awareness. If they work. We went to Barton Level 1 after trying many other things. Then I altered it a little bit, and now that I have done it, I can see videos showing the techniques here and there. But really -- I think the videos with Barton 1 are very good.

 

Other programs I like and have used are Abecedarian (abcdrp.com) and All About Spelling.

 

My son stayed at the point where he was not able to blend for a long time -- that was his biggest issue. Then just struggling to blend. He also had a hard time learning some of his letter sounds. He also had a hard time learning to segment.

 

It is a certain type -- everything I have done is for that type to some extent. If your child has just not had any trouble with oral blending and phonemic awareness skills -- then that is important information, and you might post here "phonemic awareness is fine, what else could the problem be?" or something like that.

 

I think if you do spend some time reading about it, you can get specific with what you are or are not looking for, and maybe pinpoint where you are. I think it saves time in the end, instead of just picking a program at random. But at the same time -- I felt like, I did need to kind-of randomly pick a program just to get started and see if it would work. I don't know if there is a way around that.

 

Also there is a good chance of needing a multisensory approach and I think it is worth looking for resources for that -- it is hard to know what kind of multisensory might click for a child, without just trying them, I think. You can always supplement a program with multisensory things you know have worked, or try multisensory things to supplement a program.

 

There are a lot of good programs out there, though, I think!

 

/crosspost I am very in favor of tutors, too. We are in a rural-ish area, though, and I am afraid there are none here. I really did look. The speech clinic my son went to was very good, and did a little with reading, but had few spots and wanted to wait for kids to be in 3rd grade (!) to start reading tutoring. Other reading tutoring/clinic options were all "more of the same" he was failing with at school.

Edited September 27, 2012 by Lecka
A4

[simplyme99]

We use a private O-G tutor too and it is super expensive. My DD is not home schooled simply because I am a single parent and, well, somebody has to work :lol:!

What I know about Barton (besides it working well), is that it resells wonderfully. You are only out your initial investment of $250. I would do it in a heartbeat if I didn't have to work!!

[Heathermomster]

How old is your child? Did your son meet all of his developmental milestones as a tot?

[raceNzanesmom]

We're using All About Spelling and will start AAR 2 as soon as I can get it ordered and here (it's set to release tomorrow). I am seeing good progress. We also plan to have him tested, so he can attend an O/G learning center. However, right now the cost of the dx is way out of budget. Once he's tested he'll get one-one tutoring twice a week for two years at the learning center.

 

The biggest thing to do right now is educate yourself so you'll know how to help him. Not all dyslexics are the same. You need to identify his strengths and weaknesses. I have listened to nearly all of Barton's and Craft's seminars, read Overcoming Dyslexia, talked in depth with a couple friends that have kids dx with dyslexia- and will have him tested asap.

 

If you can get him tested try not to wait. I also recommend a thorough eye exam.

 

:grouphug:

[OnceAHomeschooler]

Thank you for the response. He did have speech therapy as a toddler not because his speech was delayed but he was hard to understand. He could not articulate his words clearly. He did not really know the letters names of the Alphabet until his second time in Kindy (he was held back). He knew them by sight and their sounds but he could not tell you them in order. He still has trouble with Y and V ... they look the same to him. He also flips letters b and d, p and q, m and w. He will know a word in one sentence but will not remember it for the next. He hates reading, he hates spelling, he hates school in general, even home school. I hate to be nasty with him about it but TV is gone, Xbox and computers are gone until he gets work done but he just drags it out. He really is more of an "unschool" type of personality but he has to learn to read and write. I will not "trust" him or trust the fact that it may come to him and its a process, he is a boy it will come later, etc. He wants nothing to do with anything that resembles schooling. That is one reason I am hesitant to get a system like Barton. I am afraid he wont do it therefore it would be a waste of money on my party.

 

He really is stubborn. He does not take well to being told he has to do anything. We have behavioral issues as well. (which we have seen Dr.'s about but he has no diagnosis of anything like ADHD, ODD, Asp. Autism. No doctor can see any of those issues in him) He is just Isaiah, hard headed, stubborn, beats to his own drum and very difficult with just about everything lol.

 

I am terrified I will not be able to do this. He just will not work with me. The only time he will do anything that even reflects schooling is if I just let him be and he gets around too it. For example today we were working on Phonics and he shut down. He refused. Through a tantrum and just would not work. So I erased all the work on the white board. I then came on here and ignored him. In the time I have been typing he is trying to write sentences on his own but he can't because he cannot figure out the words. Now he just got up and walked over our shelf that we keep work on and he is looking for math.

 

Can I cry now or should I turn to wine. :crying:

[OnceAHomeschooler]

to add ... if I see he is struggling and offer to help he refuses to be helped. He does not want help. Or if he writes the sentence and I notice there is some spelling that is wrong, i'll ask him if he wants help with the correct spelling, nope he doesnt want to know.

[ondreeuh]

First of all, HUGS to you. It is not easy. From the little bit you've said, it certainly sounds like he has a language-based learning disability. Honestly the stubbornness, tantruming, and all of that could stem from frustration over learning. What would be easy for other kids may legitimately feel impossible for your son. I have found that I have to erase my expectations of what my kid "should" be able to do because NOTHING can be done if he is stressed or frustrated (even stuff he could do yesterday). I work very hard to keep my demeanor relaxed and encouraging, and to keep school low-pressure. That said, we do school every day and we put in a lot of hard work. My son balks whenever the routine changes, but as long as he knows what to expect and is in a groove, he is compliant. The adjustment period always sucks. I encourage you to develop a routine that you stick to, even when your son resists, because it really does help tremendously to have a schedule! Within that schedule, though, be flexible and willing to take breaks, come back to something later in the day, etc. to mitigate frustration. Also be very careful to not choose materials that are above your son's level. It can be hard to start back at square 1, but often necessary when starting a new program.

 

As far as the dyslexia goes, my son is very classically dyslexic. Like your son, mine had delayed language development. He was unintelligible until he was 4-5 and even at 11 some people don't understand him well (due to apraxia of speech). Speech therapy was a bust. It is now something I do at home. Part of my son's issue is that he cannot discriminate some sounds. Th & d sound very similar to him, as do s and sh. I work on speech as part of phonics and spelling.

 

I have had to start over at the beginning with various programs and try them out for a while to see if we make any headway. Some times we don't, and I start over with something else. Explode the Code was good for a while (through book 3). All About Spelling worked until we hit a wall in level 2. Apples and Pears worked until my son couldn't keep up in level C. We are now using Saxon Phonics Intervention to make sure all the gaps are filled (and I supplement with extra work on the spelling words). SPI is easy for him because he did learn some phonograms through the other programs, and he ended up picking up reading through sight words after all. SPI is designed for students 4th-adult who read below grade level and it's about $120, I think. Worth looking at if Barton is out of your range. SPI is O-G and very thorough. I am determined to finish the program this year.

 

Before I started homeschooling, I took my son to a Lindamood-Bell tutor (she used LiPS and Seeing Stars). It was a disaster. After spending $4000 on tutoring they told me to bring him back when he was older because they had hit a wall. Just throwing out that a tutor can't always do a better job than a committed mom.

 

I can tell you that things got better as he got older. His language center in his brain has continued to develop and make accommodations, and he learns easier than he did when he was younger. I am having him read aloud to me and I think he is able to read above grade level (Lexile 1100+). Considering he was a non-reader in 2nd grade, that is pretty cool!

 

In a nutshell - establish a learning environment where he is able/willing to work. Develop a routine, keep school appropriately challenging and encouraging with low pressure. You may have to try different programs to find what works. If you like the sound of Barton, look into Saxon Phonics Intervention for an affordable alternative.

[OnceAHomeschooler]

Thank you for your response! My son is 8 (I think someone had asked that earlier and I forgot to add that to my reply) He failed K and they would not move him forward to 2 grade. First grade was a total bust. He did next to no work all year. They actually asked me to take him home the last two weeks because the felt it was just disrupting the classroom.

 

We had Saxon intervention in the home a couple years ago. We did not like the program (we used it for our eldest son) we have used explode the code and are using Spelling Workout right now. He will do the worksheets, reluctantly but he does them.

 

I am almost considering make him a goal list. These things must be done by the end of the week. I expect you to spend X amount of hours on school a day. Please hand in the work on Friday. Ask for help if you need it.

 

I wonder if that approach would be more effective for him? Give him goals but have him have control of it. He is a TOTAL control freak. Its more a Montessori approach. Give him the work, let him know where it is, give him a time line to complete it, and reward him at the end. Thoughts?

 

I know it's frustration. He hates help but he cannot do it on his own. He hates being forced but he won't do it if he is not held accountable.

[Lecka]

I have another kind-of favorite website. It is childrenofthecode.org

 

It is all about how kids can shut down when they are asked to do things they are not able to do. Then they have a cycle of fear and shame that it is difficult to overcome -- they will associate being asked to do reading things with failure, fear, and shame, and it is really, really hard to get over it.

 

My son started that way. He was recommended to be held back in Kindergarten. My husband would not hear of it, though.

 

I had been trying things -- oh, the things tried here. I thought he would like a computer program and tried three things on that. He could not do any of it. At the same time he was in Kindergarten and not able to do the work.

 

I would REALLY recomment trying to get a tutor. If not an official tutor who already does dysexia-type tutoring -- you could pick the material and have the tutor do it with him. I know someone who did this -- purchased Barton and hired a college student (an education major) to watch the videos and do the lessons with him. It worked well for them.

 

But if that is not possible.... I did have some luck with just asking my son to watch me, and then copy. I did not ask any questions he might not be able to answer. I only asked him things he had copied successfully and I knew he could do (like -- with learning to blend). I stayed with that for weeks to a couple of months. He was learning but he was not ready to perform (aka answer a question I guess).

 

Childrenofthecode can be depressing but I would feel like -- this is what is going on.

 

For my son -- once he started having some success, he started having a decent attitude. Once it got a little easier for him he did get better. The beginning was the hardest.

 

Knowing a word in one sentence and not remembering it in the next ------ it is frustrating but it is common. I think that is just a common thing.

 

edit: He would do things like run away, slide off the chair, etc. Many avoidant activities. I was helped by kind-of realizing "these are avoidant behaviors," labelling them that way in my mind, and responding to them as avoidant behaviors instead of as literally the behavior. The goal of the behavior was to avoid something he found truly difficult and had associated with shame.

Edited September 27, 2012 by Lecka

[Heathermomster]

Your child should get an eval done by a NP so that you know his specific needs and can address them properly. There are moms here that have suspected dyslexia and learned that the ld was something entirely different. With a dyslexia diagnosis, you will have access to organizations like learning ally (audio books and no longer free) and establish a documented paper trail for future accommodations.

 

In the mean time, watch documentaries and science shows. Play to his strengths. Read aloud. Perform hands on activities. For reading, use something that teaches direct, explicitly, and uses multisensory techniques. Work in short spurts. Use rewards and gives lots of hugs. Maybe look at brain gym exercises and omega 3&6 supplementation. These kids were born with their own unique set of wiring. I believe most children want to please their parents, but the work is frustrating for them. I really feel like a full np report will get you pointed in the right direction.

[Lecka]

I agree with that also.

 

I think he absolutely wants to please you and do well.

 

But it can feel like an attack to have misspelled a word and have it pointed out. I did not have that with spelling, but with my son's speech articulation.

 

He also had /has articulation issues. Incidentally -- he also couldn't tell apart s/sh, but he was able to learn that in speech therapy. I know it would not work that well for all children, but he was fortunate to respond to the therapy.

 

However -- I had that refusal to be helped for speech. He could shut down, have a tantrum, be upset for days and cry over a correction again the next day.

 

The speech therapist told me not to correct him (but I could still model correct). She said it was like his self-concept or self-esteem was wrapped up in his speech, and he couldn't bear to have me correcting him, he wanted only to be accepted by me. He had a hard enough time going to pre-school and then school with his speech, and then having me at home not being accepting, was too hard for him. He just needed emotional support and love from me.

 

This is why I am the strange parent who was told not to do speech homework, as it was doing more harm than good for my son. Especially when he would make mistakes on his homework, SIGH.

 

But it is really like -- the behavior is maddening but it is to protect him from feeling poorly about himself.

 

But for how speech was here -- if it is like that -- I would try to trade or something, for someone else to work with him, until he can make some progress, and it can be less fraught.

 

I agree about the evaluation, and I agree about feeding his strengths. If he is feeling like he is bad at everything, or it doesn't matter he is good at some things, all any one cares about is the things he is bad at ------ that is not going to be good for him as a child. I think the child does have to come first. If you look at childrenofthecode (and other places also) they have people as adults talk about their feelings as children when they were not able to meet expectations from their parents or teachers. It is really heartrending and I think can make you have such sympathy, to overcome the frustration with behaviors.

 

At the same time -- for my son specifically, I think that for him to make progress is also what helped him. He needed the support too, but he also needed to make progress. For some personal reasons -- and that it was tied up with his speech, and he coudn't just not tak.

 

I do think a lot of times to just take a break and do things he is good at is a really good thing to do, though!

Edited September 27, 2012 by Lecka

[Shellers]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

I started homeschooling my DS last year when he was 11. He had been labeled by this public school as being "Speech Impaired" and "Severely Dyslexic". At the end of 4th grade he could read only nine words, and he had been in special education with an IEP for six years!

 

What got my boy reading was to start at the beginning (kindergarten stuff). Start with the sounds letters make. I would introduce a new sound only after he had mastered the sounds he had been working on. This took a L-O-N-G time for him to get them all down.

 

Once he got all the letters down, we started doing Dancing Bears. In retrospect, I should have had him do both Bear Necessities books, which are the industrial strength version of Dancing Bears. I also did his letter flash cards with him everyday. I found that if he had more than a two or three day break, he would regress.

 

He finished Dancing Bears and the second book of Bear Necessities (I had him do them both at the same time, he really needed that much practice), I tried to move him into the second book of Dancing Bears, but I found it was moving too fast for him. I ended up switching to Pathway Readers, just to build his fluency and for more practice, which he really can't get enough of (although he would disagree).

 

He's completed Pathway Readers: First Steps, Days Go By, and More Days Go By. He does one chapter a day. I have him doing the workbooks with the readers, there's some phonics practice in the workbooks. I also have him doing Climbing to Good English 1, which goes with the Pathway Readers, and had phonics practice in it.

 

He'll be starting the Pathway Reader, Busy Times, next week. I couldn't be more pleased with his progress.

 

For phonics overkill, I also have him doing Plaid Phonics B workbook.

 

When he was in public school I actually wondered if he'd ever learn to read. :001_unsure: In one year of homeschooling we've accomplished what six years of public school couldn't do, we got him reading.

 

As far as your DS not wanting to work with you, I thinks it's just a matter of finding his currency. For my DS, I set up a prize box with things I knew he'd like. He gets a star everyday he has a good day. I give him an extra star if he wants to do extra work. There are things in his prize box that will take a week to get and things that will take eight months to get. Right now there is a video game in there, and it's driving him crazy. He earned eight extra stars last week doing extra work because he wants the video game so badly.

 

For my DS, I also use video games and tv as a bribe. If he's not listening or is being difficult, I tell him he'd better straighten up or else he's not going to be able to watch tv or play his ipod. He normally straightens right up.

[OnceAHomeschooler]

Lecka , I totally believe this is the issue. I really do. He would hide at school. The whole school would have to go look for him because he would run away in shame and hide. It's heart breaking. We did have the school district do an evaluation on him. They just said he had an over all "reading disability" they also said he had a very low IQ, which anyone (and I cannot stress the anyone enough) who knows my son knows he has a normal to high IQ. He is super bright, able to figure out puzzle, complex ideas, does well in math, and is capable of learning. They also said his lowest scores were in short term memory, however my son is a huge gamer and can play complex games and remember patterns in the games, he plays mind craft, and is one hell of a dancer. He can watch a person perform a dance and mimic their movements, no problem, but ask him to remember words, like, where, there, them, walk, etc.

 

The whole things is so confusing. He is so strong with certain patterns, beats, sounds, directions, etc but then you put words in front of him and all of that stops. I am certainly going to check out that website. I think part of him as shut down emotionally which is not allowing him to be successful.

[Lecka]

It is a good website and has great interviews. It doesn't have a lot of "here is how to solve the problem" as far as I know.

 

You might also read Dyslexia Advantage. I think it is a good book. It is not a book about teaching reading at all -- but it is a good book about things that are positive to do.

 

There are various resources for encouraging children -- there is an HBO movie about dyslexia, there are famous adults with dyslexia, etc.

 

I looked at things for children with learning disabilities who had this (associated shame) -- it seems like it comes down to just being very patient and giving them many chances for success and few chances for failure. There might be more good things to do, though. Specific things were tangible rewards, short sessions, ending on success, ways of wording things really positively -- that was the kind of advice I would find.

 

By the time I was ever looking at this stuff -- my son was already having bad feelings of not doing well in Kindergarten. And -- he can't unknow that he has a hard time with things that are supposed to be unbelievably easy. So that is another reason -- I tended to push forward.

 

But I think there is a point where just keeping up his skills and doing things kids are good at is a lot more important than reading instruction -- it might be that point for him, for a while. I think it is fine if it is.

[LaughingCat]

They also said his lowest scores were in short term memory, however my son is a huge gamer and can play complex games and remember patterns in the games, he plays mind craft, and is one hell of a dancer. He can watch a person perform a dance and mimic their movements, no problem, but ask him to remember words, like, where, there, them, walk, etc.

My personal theory on the memory thing is it also depends on what they're "linking" it to in their brain. Like expert chess players can remember where pieces are on a chess board set up to match a real game - but can't remember where pieces are (any better than non-chess players) if they're placed outside of where they can really move to.

 

DD for example does average at following directions, got a high score on "repeating patterned beats" (although she can't follow a metronome to save her life) but can't repeat a sentence word for word or a 4 number string. One thing the tester pointed out to me for that test - she would generally only miss the sentence/number string by one word/number but the test marked that just as wrong as if she'd gotten it all wrong. For most real life direction following one word missing/out of order often doesn't change the meaning (depending on which word of course) but for reading, 1 letter missing/out of place changes the whole thing.

 

FWIW, when DD and I are locking heads over some school work/program (which as Lecka suggests is usually because it's something very hard for her), I do try to put as much as I can in a notebook/workbox area where everything is "on your own, ask for help if you want it, give it to Mom to check when you are done" - and if I find mistakes I just circle them and put them in a "fix" pile to be redone.

[merry gardens]

...He really is stubborn. He does not take well to being told he has to do anything. We have behavioral issues as well. (which we have seen Dr.'s about but he has no diagnosis of anything like ADHD, ODD, Asp. Autism. No doctor can see any of those issues in him) He is just Isaiah, hard headed, stubborn, beats to his own drum and very difficult with just about everything lol. ....

Aww! :grouphug:

You've gotten some good advice so I'll try not to repeat, but a couple comments stood out to me. One red flag was that his speech was hard to understand. The second red flag is that you say he's stubborn.

 

"Stuborn" can be a mask, and achievement can often be inconsistent in people with learning disorders. Sometimes we think we're asking simple things, but what we're asking might be really hard for them. Just because a person once did something, doesn't mean they'll always be able to do it or do it easily. We might think they just won't do what we ask, when it might be that they can't do it.

 

I once thought my ds was a head-strong, stubborn child. Now I see him as a really sweet, hard working kid.

 

I want to encourage you to look at remediating your son's troubles. It sounds like dyslexia, memory problems or both, and maybe something else too. Once you start remediating the problems in effective ways, you might find that his "stubborness" transforms into hard working. Perhaps he's been working harder all along than you realize.

[OnceAHomeschooler]

When I say "stubborn" I mean his over all personality. He really likes to be in control, over everything. He does not like being told how or when to do things. His way.. period... and he has always been that way. Not just in academics or reading etc.. but life. You would have to meet him to understand it. He is super sweet don't get me wrong. His affection for animals is bar none! He likes them better than people, he will tell you that lol. He can be very doting on me. He loves to chat it up with me like we are old pals. He is super but does not like situations where he is not in control. School was a perfect example of that. He had to do what they said when they said. For example we had thought of putting him in dance, he is very talented, but he wont take lessons because ..and I quote "no one will tell me how to dance." or if we even suggest an art class "No one is going to tell me what I can draw." He hates amusment park rides, he is not in control, he will not ride a bike because he cannot control it (lack of balance) he will not play sports because well a coach might tell him what to do... see the theme? He has no control over language and reading so he wants nothing to do with it.

[OnceAHomeschooler]

And I never suggested he did not work hard

[Home_Mom]

Lecka , I totally believe this is the issue. I really do. He would hide at school. The whole school would have to go look for him because he would run away in shame and hide. It's heart breaking. We did have the school district do an evaluation on him. They just said he had an over all "reading disability" they also said he had a very low IQ, which anyone (and I cannot stress the anyone enough) who knows my son knows he has a normal to high IQ. He is super bright, able to figure out puzzle, complex ideas, does well in math, and is capable of learning. They also said his lowest scores were in short term memory, however my son is a huge gamer and can play complex games and remember patterns in the games, he plays mind craft, and is one hell of a dancer. He can watch a person perform a dance and mimic their movements, no problem, but ask him to remember words, like, where, there, them, walk, etc.

 

The whole things is so confusing. He is so strong with certain patterns, beats, sounds, directions, etc but then you put words in front of him and all of that stops. I am certainly going to check out that website. I think part of him as shut down emotionally which is not allowing him to be successful.

 

 

I know this special needs board has a particular bent toward seeing disability, but oh boy, do I see a right-brained child in your son with your description here! They love to learn; hate to be taught. They can be very resistant because they learn in a particular way, which is different from traditional school ways, and the only way to communicate is through resistance. I wrote a post about that here: http://applestars.homeschooljournal.net/life-without-school-posts/resistance-a-communication-tool/.

 

As for their pinpointing his weakness for short-term memory, that is typical for a right-brained learner. Left-brained learners have stronger short-term memory, thus better at memorization techniques, and right-brained learners have stronger long-term memory, thus learn better by association.

 

Because he has strengths in puzzles and math, it's typical to see the more common time frame of between 8 and 10 for reading to occur for a right-brained learner. In other words, math facts and reading usually start between 8 and 10, but you can find one of those happen during the 5 to 7 time frame, but I've rarely seen both happen. The gift usually lies in one or the other, and the other is just "normal" and comes at the typical time of 8 to 10.

 

Right-brained children are highly emotive and highly sensitive. They take things very personally. They are the first ones to turn on themselves.

 

And they are usually heavily involved in one or more of the creative outlets: music/dance, computers/video games (both your son), art/photography, theater/showmanship, fashion/sewing, math/numbers, puzzles/mazes (also both your son), cooking/gardening, and building/electronics.

 

As for your son's inability to remember certain words, a lot of the ones you listed are non-visual words. Right-brained children turn every word into a picture, so they will more easily read "encyclopedia" over "the," because he can visualize a picture for encyclopedia. I just wrote a post about the universal gifts of the right-brained learner that might interest you, where I give a link to Chapter Five in my book that you can read that describes these universal gifts that you may recognize in your son. It's here: http://www.therightsideofnormal.com/2012/09/27/am-i-right-brained-dominant/.

 

These children are misunderstood in how they learn, but when you figure it out, they are joyful learners who thrive. Here's a post about their natural development: http://www.therightsideofnormal.com/2012/04/16/the-natural-learning-development-for-right-brained-children/.

 

I hope something helps...

[Kim in Appalachia]

I didn't see you mention how old you son is. Is he 1st or 2nd grade or older?

 

My ds10 is dyslexic, so I can go through what I've done, but every child is different.

 

I used Spell to Write and Read (based on the Spalding method) to teach reading. I love the Spalding method and I highly recommend it. I still break down every word and try to make him think/see in phonograms and syllables.

 

I don't make him write very much. We do a lot orally. Spelling is mostly done on a white board not on paper.

 

I'm using TT for math. This is helping. He is good at math, he just can't write down the problems or even read them with the small print (he thinks normal size print is too small).

 

I sit with him and do the work with him. If he is alone he doesn't work well. He is starting too, but I don't rely on it.

 

Read to your child. We don't do read a louds as a family any more. We lack the time. We do listen to books in the car and I make him listen to books at home.

 

Give lots of breaks. My son needs to get up and move. Finish a set amount of work and let him play with Legos, or go play with a football.

 

Don't give up. Give yourself and your son time. Learning takes time.

[OnceAHomeschooler]

I think that is what I am struggling with most. I am terrified I will fail him and he will be an adult who cannot read and write. I have been sick over this for weeks now. I am actually crying as I type. I just do not know what to do. He is so different than any kid I know. He is "difficult" with most things. From eating, sleeping, hygiene, following direction, complying, schooling... everything. I know at some point he will want to take a bath daily, and he will get bored of the 5 foods he eats, and the sleeping will work itself out. I also know him being the assertive child he is he will always be the boss and in charge as an adult. (ie: mom I love animals so much, I want to open up an animal hospital, my response, great you want to be a vet... him, no mom I want to own the hospital, ill hire a vet) but its the reading that scares me and his lack of wanting to learn just about anything. He hates having a lesson, he hates being told why and how, he will yell at me and tell me do not help me.....even if he gets it wrong 1000 times.

I worry.. I have no idea how to help him or what the best way is and I am sick over it.

[merry gardens]

...He hates amusment park rides, he is not in control, he will not ride a bike because he cannot control it (lack of balance) he will not play sports because well a coach might tell him what to do... see the theme? He has no control over language and reading so he wants nothing to do with it.

Yes, I see a theme! More red flags!!! This time, flags that hint towards possible vestibular problems. Not just a lack of control but an inability to process these activities the way most people do.

 

Your son sounds like a great guy and you sound like a terrific mother.

 

I've done a lot of things without evaluations, largely because I had a hard time finding the right help. But if you want to do a full blown work up to see what's going on, you might go for:

neuropsych evaluation (These are expensive, but can pull together the big picture)

Occupation Therapy evaluation (check vestibular system and the eating/dressing/etc issues mentioned in the prior post)

f/u with speech therapist (ask specifically to check his phonological awareness, one hallmark of dyslexia)

COVD vision exam (special eye doctors that make sure eyes work together. They check vision processing and more.)

 

With all of these evaluations, don't spend the money until you find good people to do the evaluations!!! It can take time. It's expensive enough already, but bad advice can cost you more than waiting for the right kind of help. (I still haven't found a neuro-psych to evaluate my ds. We seen a couple speech therapists and a couple COVD's. I did a lot of remediation before having a formal diagnosis.) It can be difficult to specifically locate where the problem(s) lies and how to remediate it(them)--especially if there's more than one thing going on and especially if the child is "twice gifted" or "2E" "twice exceptional" with a learning disorder while being mentally gifted!

 

It sounds like you have a bright child with many abilities, but something (or things) is getting in the way of his making progress.

 

:grouphug:

Edited September 28, 2012 by merry gardens

[OnceAHomeschooler]

I looked at the symptoms and he really does not have any of those. I was just talking to my girlfriend about him. We both pointed out that Isaiah basically does not do what people want him to do or ask him to do. Isaiah will do what he has chosen to do. I am considering getting a private eval. I do not think the school system gave him an appropriate one. You are right I need to find the right person and as you have pointed out is not easy or affordable.

 

I may take a Montessori approach with him. Placing his education back in his hands allowing him to control it , to some extent. Maybe creating a goal sheet for assignments to be completed by weeks end, and filling it with short mini lessons and games through the week.

[Lecka]

I do think you sound like a good mother.

 

I am subscribed to a e-mail/facebook thing called Celebrate Calm. It is trying to get you to buy cds (which I don't do, lol) but he sends out e-mails about how difficult kids grow up to be good adults, and talking about how traits that are difficult to have in children have advantages as an adult.

 

Not every one is good but they are mostly very good, and he is a Christian.

 

It is one where it can just be nice to get a positive e-mail about difficult kids once in a while.

Edited September 28, 2012 by Lecka

[OnceAHomeschooler]

Thank you! He really is an amazing kid. His behaviors now will really help him in the world later but man are they hard to handle at age 8 lol.

[FairProspects]

My dyslexic is 8 too, and had major vestibular issues. Definitely pursue OT. It was life-changing for us. Those "difficulties" you describe are likely a physical reaction to something going on inside him. Afterwards ds went into Martial Arts where he now takes 3 classes a week and loves it. All his intensity goes into punches and kicks and all that crossing the midline, ground somersaults, etc. is fabulous for his core strength and vestibular system. He even rode roller coasters at the fair this year (which he did not like, but he got on and did it without a meltdown). He also played baseball, and while it was not easy for him, by the end of the season he was catching balls and hitting regularly.

 

I cannot recommend the Occupational Therapy enough. So much of it is play-based but it makes a huge difference if you have good people working with you to help get through some of the difficulties. I would go in and tell her ridiculous things like the fact that ds melted down in a movie theater, and she would work with him, and give me techniques and somehow we could all get him forward. It is so worth the private OT eval. One of the best gifts we have ever given him.

[LaughingCat]

What if you give him choices? - for DD that can make a big difference when we're struggling (Note: I see similarities between DD and your DS - but not as extreme or constant as you're describing). Sometimes she can choose order or between 2 programs. I've gotten various super duper card decks and I let her control the cards, or which card or the light that tells the answer, or sometimes I pick some and she picks some. Also we do work boxes as free choice - I fill them, she picks what she wants to do and when. I do remind her that she needs to have so many done by end of day if she's not working on them at all (having the choice of skipping one drawer also made a big difference).

 

A reading activity that DD does completely on her own is read along with a book on CD - I get a bunch of books/cds out of the library (they have kits w/book+cd, or I get both book and cd, or I have book and just get cd) at about her level or below (based on AR level), she rejects a bunch of them :lol: before picking out one to read along with. Afterward she tells me if it was too hard (to keep up with the voice), just right or easy.

 

I do similar with silent reading books - I pick out a bunch that I believe are the right level or easy for her (the books she picks on her own are usually hard for her) - then I set my standard - currently she must read 1 entire book a week or lose all electronics privilege until a book is finished (she tends to skip from book to book). It is purely her choice what book and she can pick that book from anywhere not just my set. If the end of week is coming up and she is not on track to finish a book, I remind her that there are lots of books in the "mom bins" that she can read in about an hour. Note - in general putting a book in the Mom bins makes it much less likely to be picked unless she is down to the wire. I haven't figured out a method to "strew" the books I wish she would read in a way that would lead her to pick them. However, setting this requirement has led her to pick books at the library (or occasionally off our bookshelves) that she can and does finish vs. picking all much too hard books that she would read a chapter or two and then go on to the next.

 

Lastly routine is our friend here - for example, after dinner is her "silent reading time", as long as we're consistent, she does it without much fuss (probably helps that DH is home and backs me up too).

 

Note: I also agree with looking closer at the possibility of vestibular/sensory issues that might lead him to want to be more controlling of his environment - I have definitely seen that DD gets more controlling when she is more stressed - and for that matter, I know of times where I have gotten more controlling when I was more stressed.

[Lecka]

I agree about the OT being worth pursuing, too.

[VinNY]

I would pursue an OT eval. Some of the things you describe are "avoidance" issues. The child avoids what is hard for them or hard for their "bodies..senses" to cope with. My dtr had a tendency to steer the conversation or task around to what she could handle.

 

OT and VT helped my dtr alot.

[OnceAHomeschooler]

I went to a Susan Barton Seminar tonight. It was eye opening. I cried. I laughed. And I nodded my head a ton!!! I meet with some local people who test for Dyslexia and I am going to send them an email to talk about evaluations. He is so on target for every sign of Dyslexia. After speaking with the evaluator she really felt he was not ready for the Barton system and needed to start at the lower level but we would talk more about that after having him tested.

[RamonaQ]

Good! So glad you got some information and a place to start!

[Lecka]

My son went to speech therapy, too, that was similar to what they do before Barton 1. He was going for articulation but it turned out to be very similar and helped a huge amount with his sounds.

[merry gardens]

I went to a Susan Barton Seminar tonight. It was eye opening. I cried. I laughed. And I nodded my head a ton!!! I meet with some local people who test for Dyslexia and I am going to send them an email to talk about evaluations. He is so on target for every sign of Dyslexia. After speaking with the evaluator she really felt he was not ready for the Barton system and needed to start at the lower level but we would talk more about that after having him tested.

Oh good! I meant to ask how the seminar went. I turned to Barton after trying numerous other methods appropriate for dyslexia. Only then did I discover that my ds couldn't even pass the screen! I spoke with Susan Barton and she directed us to LiPS, (because of which portion of the screen he failed. Some people need other things.) We did LiPS until he could start Barton. These programs were life changing. I remember times when I could practically see the brain connections forming as he discovered the link between sounds, letters and his mouth movements. I've written about our wonderful experience with LiPS and Barton so many times on this board that I feel like a broken record.

 

My ds was 8 at the time when we started LiPS then Barton. He could barely read CVC words with great effort. We'd already tried other approaches recommended for people with dyslexia but they didn't seem to help. He's now 11 and he reads at grade level. :)

[OnceAHomeschooler]

Isaiah is not ready for the Barton method either. I am hoping to get in touch with the person who will do his evaluation this week. Can you explain to me what the LiPS is?

[Lecka]

Lips is a packaged curriculum that was groundbreaking when it was developed, back in the 1960s or 1970s. It was developed by a woman who was a speech therapist and worked with children with learning disabilities.

 

She went on to start a company of tutoring centers, that used her packaged curriculum. (I say packaged curriculum -- I am sure it is individualized to a great degree.) These are called Lindamood-Bell.

 

The packaged curriculum is also available for purchase. It is for sale from Super Duper (where all the speech therapy materials I have ever seen for my son have come from, I think), and from Gander publishing.

 

By now -- some of the techniques have spread into speech therapy. But not to every speech therapist. This is why my son could do two years of speech therapy and not make any progress, only fall farther behind in his percentiles. When he started at the university speech clinic they did this kind of techniques. He was referred by his school speech therapist -- she was aware he needed more than she could give him with her constraints.

 

So anyway -- when I found out my son needed Lips, I was able to read descriptions of it and find some videos of people doing little parts of it. People who had purchased the curriculum and maybe done a training. You will find when you search it -- there are people who claim that the only way to really do it is to go to a Lindamood-Bell center. However I do not agree -- I think a lot of people are using these techniques well.

 

Basically it is (the portion my son needed, anyway -- it has more portions) a multi-sensory way to understand sounds. Most kids clearly know their sounds, clearly know their mouth position for their sounds, and are easily able to link the mouth position, the feeling of making the sound, the sound when they hear it, and the visual of the letter.

 

For my son -- the steps of hearing the sounds and associating them with his mouth -- was not there. Telling sounds apart was not there. So he was not able to learn by being shown a letter and then hearing the sound. He could not learn that way.

 

The techniques they use are multisensory. They are going to teach kids to hear the sounds and link those to their mouth position and articulation things. They are going to do sorting exercises to help them tell sounds apart.

 

I didn't always observe my son at his speech b/c I have two younger kids, but that is what I saw when I did observe.

 

Anyway that is my summary. My son did private speech for about 10 months. He is still in school speech.

 

I did phonemic awareness with him at home, b/c he was primarily working on speech and speech sounds. I think there would be a lot of advantages to doing it with someone who would give it more of a reading/phonemic awareness slant.

 

Oh, Lips used to be called ADD auditory discrimination in depth. I see it called that a lot in books more than a couple of years old.

[Lecka]

http://www.fcrr.org/FCRRReports/PDF/LIPs.pdf

 

And here is the fcrr report on it.

 

http://www.lindamoodbell.com/lindamood%20phoneme%20sequencing%20reading%20phonemic%20awareness%20phonics%20dyslexia%20dyslexic.aspx

 

From the Lindamood-Bell website.

 

http://www.superduperinc.com/products/view.aspx?pid=PE13600

 

On the super duper website -- it shows the package.

 

My son did not "do the program" but he did similar things at his speech therapy and I am beyond pleased with the results. I can't say enough good things about the results. He can tell apart letter sounds now! That is what he could not do, and now he can do it. His speech has improved a huge amount. He really "knows" all his letters and letter sounds now.

Edited September 30, 2012 by Lecka