Is this normal? 6-yr old son always pretending

[mommymonster]

Hive-folk,

I hope you all can provide a bit of a reality-check for me. My DS6 (almost 7) is very imaginative. If I ask him a question about his day (say he's with his aunties), I get this long, winding spiel about what they did, even though it is really something completely different than what actually happened. And it is constant. I don't think that he is necessarily lying for purposes of deception, he just seems to have his own version of events that no one else has. It often involves him as a hero or at least someone with particular insight.

 

While at home, he spends a goodly portion of time playing by himself or reading. I think he's a bit of a space cadet (in the doting mother way), but it seems harder and harder to actually have a conversation with him about his day (when we aren't together), what is actually thinking, etc.

 

Is this normal? Do kids go through a particularly imaginative phase? I don't have friends or family with kids my son's age (they are all younger), so I don't really have a frame of reference. (And yes, I'm really this clueless.)

 

Thanks

[jelbe5]

I grew up an only, loved reading and spent a lot of time in imaginative play and daydreaming, making up stories in my head, etc.

 

Even though I now have the larger family I wanted when younger I still spend a lot of time in my head daydreaming, etc. I think it is probably normal. Anyway, that is what I am guessing based on the info you have shared.

[swellmomma]

My youngest has an amazing imagination, much like you described. I love it. An active imagination is a wonderful gift. As long as your child understands the difference between pretend and reality I would not worry about it. Something I plan to start doing is writing out those fantastic tales. My oldest has very little imagination. He can re-enact favorite movie scenes but can not come up with his own ideas for anything. He is not creative at all, and his lack of imagination makes it near impossible for him to look at something and pretend or create with it. And don't get me started on the task of composition. He can not write stories, or poems or essays without a huge struggle because he has no imagination to do so. At the same time he struggles to separate real from pretend(like up until 2 yrs ago thinking the wonder pets were real animals trained to talk etc)

 

My youngest is the opposite. She spins amazing tales, and creates songs and poems and crafts etc constantly.

 

Put them both in a room and pass them each a paper towel tube. Oldest sees only a paper towel tube, maybe a light saber depending on the day, youngest will have a list of 50 things that tube can be.

 

I would encourage the imaginative play and get involved with it adding to his tales of wonder and spinning them further. If you want to have a real conversation about his day then tell him how much you love to hear his tales but you want to hear something that happened not for pretend. The fact that he is with you all day, he likely figures you already know about his day so teh imagination comes out. Offer to write some of his stories down during the day and see if having another outlet for them reduces the tales at bedtime when you just want regular talk.

 

ABove all else relax and enjoy it. If your child can not separate pretend from reality I would say speak to a professional but if it is just the imagination have fun with it. Sometimes we play the real and pretend game as a way for me to help my oldest as well as "test" out the other 3. I will say a phrase and ask if it is real or pretend. So I might say "I am your mom" -real "I have 3 feet and blue hair" -pretend "I am a princess" -pretend "I am queen of this home" -real (in our house that counts as real lol) etc.

[Katy]

If you question him, does he tell you what actually happened?

[Mergath]

I sure hope it's normal. My dd can spend hours playing with her imaginary friends, and I also get a lot of stories that are only very loosely based on reality.

[Amy in NH]

Yes, normal. Get him to start recording his imaginative stories - even if it's just a voice recording. You could have a fiction writer in the making!

[In The Great White North]

It's totally normal and an important part of childhood. Imaginative play/storytelling helps develop problem solving skills, narration skills, planning skills, etc,etc.

 

Wasn't there a children's book (back in the day) something along the lines of "what happened n my way to the??"

[Pretty in Pink]

Normal. : )

[lynn]

I believe it is perfectly normal. I hope it is....lol My 17 year old walked around in a war game always shooting at something, rolling around, ducking and hiding wherever we went. He did this from about 6year to about 9yrs old. It got annoying but I knew it was a phase and it would pass. He turned out to be a kind, well adjusted young man.