Help with MIL

[1GirlTwinBoys]

I wouldn't let the kids go with her and be around a strange man that you don't even know. Letting her take them back to the hotel would NOT happen. Maybe you could let her come over that day and spend an hour or so with the kids at your house. Given the circumstances, the kids wouldn't be going anywhere with them if it was me.

[brehon]

Just a suggestion - keep both her e-mail to you & yours to her. Also keep *all* written correspondence (emails, letters, texts, etc) and voicemails pertaining to the kids, divorce, etc from your husband, mil, etc in a safe place. You just never know when they might be needed.

 

:grouphug:

[posybuddy]

She also informed me how excited my oldest son was that she was coming.

 

Is she in direct communication with your kids? I'd definitely be monitoring that (or cutting it off), if you're not already.

 

:grouphug: Sorry you're dealing with this, but it definitely sounds like you did the right thing.

[QuirkyKapers]

I just read your update and I feel you did exactly the right thing.

 

Sorry you have to deal with her, but I think you handled it perfectly.

 

 

:iagree: How did she respond with your last statement of her not contacting you to make arrangements for seeing the kids? :grouphug:

[RanchGirl]

I sent MIL a nice email saying she could meet the kids and I for dinner on Wednesday night and that we also would be available Thursday morning of Thanksgiving day from 9-11. I told her I didn't feel comfortable with her taking the kids off and I would not allow it. I ended it saying that we did hope to see her.

 

She responded and said that it wasn't fair because I allowed my mother to take my kids all the time and she was sure that she loved them more than my mom. She said she did not appreciate the fact that I was putting conditions on her being allowed to see the kids, and it bothered her that she was driving 17 hours to only see them when I said she could. She felt that she was driving that far I should skip my family Thanksgiving to allow her the time she wanted. She also informed me how excited my oldest son was that she was coming. She finally said it wasn't fair because her son would make sure that his dad (her ex that she hates) would always see the kids. He was keeping the kids from her just to hurt her she thought.

 

I responded and told her if she wanted to see the grandkids ever she now needed to go through her son. Just one simple line.

 

Thanks for all the advice. I am really glad that I tried to be nice though. She proved herself there.

 

oh my, so many things wrong there. What a self-centered person. Is she in direct communication with your your eldest child? I would be monitoring that pretty closely if not completely cutting it off.

[Ellie]

Under no circumstances should you allow her to take the children away from your sight.

 

If she wants to see them, they all have to be close enough for you to touch the children. She and her honey could visit for dessert on Thanksgiving Day (or some time during the weekend).

 

I know it's crazy, but my head keeps screaming "grandparent abduction."

[Jennifer3141]

Under no circumstances should you allow her to take the children away from your sight.

 

If she wants to see them, they all have to be close enough for you to touch the children. She and her honey could visit for dessert on Thanksgiving Day (or some time during the weekend).

 

I know it's crazy, but my head keeps screaming "grandparent abduction."

 

 

I don't know how crazy it is, Ellie. This woman sounds like a whacko!!! She loves your children more than their other grandmother (who has BEEN there??) Yeah, I don't think so.

 

Let the idiot ex deal with his idiot mother. Easy peasy. Not your problem once a divorce is on the agenda. Freedom!! :lol:

[Harriet Vane]

I sent MIL a nice email saying she could meet the kids and I for dinner on Wednesday night and that we also would be available Thursday morning of Thanksgiving day from 9-11. I told her I didn't feel comfortable with her taking the kids off and I would not allow it. I ended it saying that we did hope to see her.

 

She responded and said that it wasn't fair because I allowed my mother to take my kids all the time and she was sure that she loved them more than my mom. She said she did not appreciate the fact that I was putting conditions on her being allowed to see the kids, and it bothered her that she was driving 17 hours to only see them when I said she could. She felt that she was driving that far I should skip my family Thanksgiving to allow her the time she wanted. She also informed me how excited my oldest son was that she was coming. She finally said it wasn't fair because her son would make sure that his dad (her ex that she hates) would always see the kids. He was keeping the kids from her just to hurt her she thought.

 

I responded and told her if she wanted to see the grandkids ever she now needed to go through her son. Just one simple line.

 

Thanks for all the advice. I am really glad that I tried to be nice though. She proved herself there.

 

Save both printouts and electronic copies of every piece of communication.

 

Each and every time she or ex calls, just jot a few notes about what was said, agreed to, etc. Even if everything is friendly, it's a good idea to have those records.

 

However, I would say to stop any and all communication with her and let her crazy son deal with his crazy mom.

 

You did the right thing.