Ruby Rose Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) Deleted for privacy. Edited August 18, 2012 by Ruby Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 :grouphug: Maybe start with something small and regular that he takes responsibility for. A break from the computer is a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: If he is truly trying very hard to find a job, this may not be the best time to go postal on him about family responsibilities, because he's probably not feeling too positive about himself right now. However, that doesn't mean he should be getting a free ride. He's not job hunting 24/7, so at the very least, he can help out here and there. If you want to go easy on him right now because he's stressed, that's up to you. But once he finds a job (or if it starts to look like he's not going to find one, or if you think he's spending more time at the computer shopping on eBay than he is job-hunting,) it's time to sit him down and calmly explain your position. Write down each and every thing you do, and tell him that the two of you need to split up that list, so he starts holding up his end at home. It's not fair that you have been stuck with everything, and IMHO, you were too nice all along. Other people work full time, go to school at night, and still manage to help out at home. You gave your dh a free ride, and he has found that he likes being one of the kids to be waited on, instead of an adult who has responsibilities for his home and his family. He needs to realize that he's going to have to step up to the plate and start being a responsible dh and father again. Edited August 17, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Leave him in charge for a few hours while you go to the library for some peaceful planning time. Or some other out of the house activity that appeals to you. Then he will have to relearn how to cope. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 :grouphug: I have struggled with this too. It can and will drive a wedge so i recommend a strong talking to and/or counseling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kb44 Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Rose Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 (edited) Deleted Edited August 18, 2012 by Ruby Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 :grouphug: Time for a tete-a-tete when you are all done screaming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Thanks ladies. I'm really not one to speak ill of my spouse, but I really needed to get that out. And I don't have anyone to really vent to here. No one that wouldn't hold a grudge later if you KWIM. I'm glad you were able to vent a little. Sometimes it just helps to get it out, and you were smart not to do it with real-life friends or family, because once it's out there, it's out there and you can't take it back -- and some idiot is always going to bring it back up at the worst possible time! I think you've done the right thing by helping your dh, and I'm sure that once the stress of school-plus-no-job is off his mind, he will probably go right back to being the great and helpful guy he always was. But if he doesn't, get tough! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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