Live2Ride Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 I need to preface this with the following: I have this sister...who has made wildly rash and inappropriate choices much of her young to young adult life which has led her to where she is today...of course "we all need to be understanding" since she as a health issue being managed by meds which make her groggy (which doc stated were possibly caused by she and her dink of an ex having physical altercations :glare:). This is the first year I have sent my kids off to visit family. DD went to my mom's first and though enjoyed herself, she was also upset with me over her misuse and subsequent punishment (no computer) which was to be continued there, so she was a bit of a moody teen which only affected her fun because my mother raised enough moody teens ;) and knew how to deal with her. They wanted to visit their grandmother and aunt so with their help we pulled together the money for airline tickets and sent them off. Grandma has just moved to the area that sis and aunt live. Kids phone a couple of times and are enjoying themselves. Then they phone a couple of days ago and said they are so ready to come home. Apparently now that grandma is in town, sis has been dropping off niece and nephewn (similar ages to mine) at the house everyday on her way to work....These two kids are hard to like. They are bratty and snotty and fight constantly amongst themselves and it seems that now they are picking on my two...of course sis's life has been one big book of what parenting shouldn't look like... Ds is the epitome of sweet. His whole philosophy is "Why can't people just get along". I mean seriously. He is a forgive 70X7 kind of kid. I love him and try to help him stand up for himself sometimes as Dd takes advantage of his niceness (something we are working on with her as well), but he always says it's better to do good. I just want to say that I'd like to give that nephew of mine a swift kick in the rear. Dd says that as she's trying to stick up for Ds, nephew is name calling and generally being a jerk. Niece is just doing similar things and being a pill. Example: everyone in pool and kids are playing Marco Polo. Dd was Marco and we all know the game... Dd says: "niece, you aren't saying Polo". N: I'm not saying it. Dd: but that's how I find you N: well, I'm not saying it. You'll just have to try and find me. Dd: but that's not how this game is played and we all agreed to play. N: Well, I'm not doing it. Of course during this nephew is antagonizing the situation. Now this child is almost 13...good grief. So Dd and Ds move to another area of the pool because they are tired of niece and nephew. Who at that point are calling them names and fighting amongst themselves. Which continues into the car and on the way to the house forcing Grandma to cancel the side trip to the discount bookstore because the two of them are being so mean. She took dd and ds later that day. I hope sis came and got her kids before that. Sis wanted kids to come stay with her again, but dd declined the first time earlier in trip (she already knew stayin with her cousins would be bad from previous experiences with them), ds wanted to be sweet though and visit with her. They both declined the second time. I just feel bad for them because Ds was telling me on the phone that: I thought this was to be a vacation for us with grandma and aunt. Cousins have been here everyday and we're sick of them. :( I just want to hug him and Dd for trying to protect him even though they are making fun of her for it. I felt even worse because while at the bookstore he found a book that he really wanted and grandma called for my approval because it was iffy...something about surviving a zombie attack. I asked to call him back about it. I quick looked it up on my phone, but couldn't see much of the inside of the book. So I checked the library, they've got it. I called him back and asked that he wait until he got home to get it so that I could look through it first. He understood, because we do that with books from time to time,but he was bummed out (and pouting a bit) because he said that he didn't find anything else. I suggested he look a little harder for something a little more appropriate. I hope he found something to get as the remote control plane he had bought a few days earlier was broken by nephew :glare: They come home early next week and I'm excited. I hope he took some of my advice on how to handle nephew...although it was going to be hard. Grandma tries, but they don't listen to her either. Dd did say that she was very surprised one evening when nephew was speaking very disrespectfully to sis when they were all gathering for dinner at aunts house. I've been privey to it before so I'm not at all shocked, but what made me laugh was Dd telling me that while it was happening she kept thinking: " If I did that to my mom, she would be all over me". :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 As hard as it is for you to see them go through this, you've learned a lot and they have learned a lot about poor decisions...I would use this as a teaching moment and have a good pow-wow on how to love those who are prickly to love. I would then probably never send them there without your presence. And I think it would be a cool gesture to have a few books bought for your children as a token of your love for them and show how proud you are of them to try their best to help others and get along in tough circumstances... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Yes, they are. I'm right in the middle of it now. By the 50's (ages)you'd think everyone would figure out what needed to be done. But no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Who says hs kids don't learn to deal with difficult people? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 Who says hs kids don't learn to deal with difficult people? :) That is the first thing I thought of - you have socialization covered! I'm sorry that it wasn't the nice vacation that they wanted. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted August 2, 2012 Author Share Posted August 2, 2012 (edited) Thanks y'all. I knew someone here could commiserate with me :D Sis can be prickly herself. I avoided talking to her too much for some time. We tried to help her get away from her now ex, driving far to get her and her two kids, rearranging our home and buying furniture, only to have them arrive with the flu, taking her to get set up for assistance and what not...The day we all go back to work and school is the day she decides to leave. I arrive home to a note saying quote, "Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. Thanks, love sis". You can only imagine the fear in trying to find out where she was and how she left! I was furious for some time over it. Anyways....it's been one thing after another with her. She seems to finally be getting her life in order, but her parenting skills are still drastically lacking. My kids will be glad that my youngest brother will most likely be returning with them next week. He lives 2 1/2 hours away from aunt, grandma and sis and is furious at treatment of Ds (and Dd), but mainly Ds because he knows how sweet and kind he is and will try to be no matter what. They love their uncle though. He is not much older and has a good time with them. I'm planning on a trip to the water park when they return with my Db and a trip to the bookstore to pick something they want out. I've got the Zombie book on hold to look at. I plan to order it if it's ok and I've got Amazon Prime :D Edited August 2, 2012 by CountryGirl2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 2, 2012 Share Posted August 2, 2012 If your niece and nephew are causing so much trouble, why doesn't your mom just tell your sister to keep them home for a few days? I don't see why your kids should have to tolerate their poor behavior just because they are cousins. I have a difficult time understanding this type of family dynamic, as in my own family, the bad behavior never would have been tolerated, so please forgive me if I seem clueless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted August 2, 2012 Author Share Posted August 2, 2012 If your niece and nephew are causing so much trouble, why doesn't your mom just tell your sister to keep them home for a few days? I don't see why your kids should have to tolerate their poor behavior just because they are cousins. I have a difficult time understanding this type of family dynamic, as in my own family, the bad behavior never would have been tolerated, so please forgive me if I seem clueless. This is their great grandma....she has them because she 'wants to help sis', but I'm sure if it's too much for her she'll say so, atleast I hope so. I'm not there and while my kids aren't perfect, I'm sure their responses to the cousins aren't always helpful. I did send grandma an email about it. She did say the bickering was a bit tedious and she will try to correct them, but it is insessant between those two. I've dealt with it myself. I think she wants them (all 4) to try and work it out a bit (but I don't see that happening any time soon). I tried to give my two some things to do should it happen again. I hope they will take my advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.