Do you react "like a Christian"? (cc obviously)

[gardenmom5]

All this leads up to my question: If you are a Christian and are therefore supposed to have peace that passes all understanding and all that, do you exhibit that peace/faith in the face of trial and suffering?

 

Or are you like me - reduced to the temperament of a 2-year old who is scared, overwhelmed or just plain angry that she doesn't get her way? :blushing:

 

I see people such as my two friends and how they react to the bad things in life and I feel guilty because I don't react that way. Not even close.

yes to the first, and yes, I've had the opportunity to put it into firsthand practice. it wasn't always that way.

 

be patient with yourself and your "reactions". we learn faith by putting it into practice. It is not easy.

[justamouse]

I am NOT saying those people were faking it. I Can be quite cheery at the worst of times. :D I will say that I refuse to put on a face. I feel free enough with the Big Guy to throw a temper tantrum, use curse words, and have a general meltdown. I get angry at Him, and tell Him how much stuff sucks. Then I buckle up and git er done. :001_smile:

 

I DO have, and have had faith in the worst of situations. I think it's become an overall part of my cheeriness. But sometimes stuff just sucks and I think it's OK to be honest like that. It's not like He doesn't know how you really feel about it.;) And that would be lying in the worst of ways. It'd be lying about who you are to the person who loves you the most. And that's not a real relationship.

Edited July 26, 2012 by justamouse

[myfunnybunch]

All this leads up to my question: If you are a Christian and are therefore supposed to have peace that passes all understanding and all that, do you exhibit that peace/faith in the face of trial and suffering?

 

Or are you like me - reduced to the temperament of a 2-year old who is scared, overwhelmed or just plain angry that she doesn't get her way? :blushing:

 

I haven't had time to read the other replies, so bear with me if I repeat.

 

I think the answer is both.

 

Remember we can't accurately compare our internal reactions with others' public reactions.

 

I have a difficult child with autism. She has at times been violent, engaged in some scary and dangerous behaviors, and daily life with her has been a struggle, especially before she was medicated. My life with her can be very challenging. There are times when I am very angry. My prayers are angry; sometimes I am so angry I cannot pray. I question. I want to have a tantrum. I am fearful. But I don't share those emotions the way I feel them with everyone you'd find on my Facebook list. I *might* tell my mother some of it. I share some of my struggles and anger and fears with my dearest and closest friends. I can talk about it rationally like this, but for me to truly show others the depth of negative feelings I experience is rare.

 

With everyone else, I try to focus on the positives. I talk about the many genuine gifts I have been given through this struggle, and how we've been blessed having this lovely young woman in our lives. Not to be fake; it's very real. I share those things for myself too, as a reminder that there is good to be found. I mean....I don't have a choice in this. I cannot make my dd un-autistic. What I can choose is whether to focus only on the negative, or I can find what specks of good are in this for us and use them to grow.

 

A friend of a friend died recently from a brain tumor. Her faith was truly an inspiration to many. But I know from my friend that the faith she showed the world was not all that she felt--she was frightened and angry too.

 

All of that to say, I don't think it's an either/or. It can be both.

 

Cat

[ElizaG]

I tend to be fairly stoic in the face of the more major things we've faced, such as having a NICU baby and the diagnosis of a chronic disease in a child. But I feel like i'm reduced to a 2 year old over so many of the day to day challenges and irritations I have. It's a daily struggle for me to focus on my blessings (for I have been richly blessed) instead of letting the little things wear me down. I wish I had better coping skills, and that grace of which you speak.

Hey, I could have written this exactly. :) And in response to another poster, my ability to cope spiritually with the "big stuff" has been genuine. I'm not good at faking composure at the best of times, let alone under that kind of mental and physical strain.

 

But I still often don't react in a "Christian" way to everyday problems. I think, in my case, it's that I do have the gift of faith (thank God... no credit to me), but also have the bad habit of leaning on my own understanding. It's only when the situation is clearly beyond my control that I find it relatively automatic to trust that He is taking care of things, and thus that there is no need for me to freak out. :tongue_smilie:

[tntgoodwin]

My belief is that peace is part of the Fruit of the Spirit. One who is walking in the Spirit will have peace. I do think our natural instict is to let the Flesh takeover when certain circumstances occur. This is a problem if we stay there and live our life like that. If it is the exception though, and if we walk in the Spirit in general, we will have peace.

[OnTheBrink]

Hmm. I read the OP earlier and wanted to think about it before posting.

 

I can think back to really horrendous times in my life when I felt both peace--confidence of God's sovereignty and knowledge of his control over the situation, and at the same time, felt emotionally tumultuous. I don't think being Pollyanna is necessarily an indicator of peace, per se, and I don't think being upset over a bad situation means you don't have peace or are not in proper alignment with God. We have emotions. God gave them to us. HE has emotions. I think we're allowed to feel. I think the litmus test is what do we do based on those emotions? Do we continue to trust in God, or do we rebel because life's not going our way and step out on our own? Our feelings are not facts and while it's ok to feel what we feel, sometimes (many times, in my own life) it's sin to react based on those feelings. So, I guess what I'm saying is, it's ok to an emotional mess over a situation. Things hurt sometimes. But feeling that hurt, or angst, or whatever doesn't necessarily mean you have no peace with God.

 

When I miscarried, I sat on the toilet with that baby boy in my hands, bleeding like a faucet, sobbing till I almost vomited, and in the back of my mind was, "When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul." I had peace, but I was devastated. I had the same experience when I discovered what my EX really is and what he was really doing. Although, mixed in to that were also murderous feelings. At the same time, that same hymn was going through my mind. God was giving me peace that in the end, we'd be ok, but at the same time, I definitely had feelings about the situation. My emotions didn't affect His peace, that peace that surpasses understanding, the peace only He gives.

 

I hope this has helped some.

[Laurie4b]

I think that you'll get your best insights from asking your friends: what is it that enabled you to handle it that way? I don't think it's an issue of temperament; I've seen people change from tantrum-throwers or fearful to what you describe your friends as being. I think it's certain habitual practices infused of course with God's grace that enables people to react like your friends. I think it's a hard question to answer on a message board, so i would encourage you to ask your friends.

[JenniferB]

If you are a Christian and are therefore supposed to have peace that passes all understanding and all that, do you exhibit that peace/faith in the face of trial and suffering?

 

I've spent most of this morning wondering why you ask this, and how I might respond.

 

I hesitate to answer this question directly. I can say with complete honesty that I am quite sure I have a long way to go to respond to trials and suffering with peace and faith every time and in perfect submission to God's will.

 

So, instead I will point you to stories of strong, mature, faithful to the end Christians who have walked the walk with strength and perseverance. They are out there, and there are books and books (and websites) full of stories you can read for encouragement and strength, if that is what you need. I don't know if that will help you, but I do know that their stories encourage me (and frustrate me also, because I know I don't measure up). ;)

 

Here is a link to a story of St. Genevieve of Paris, who suffered many trials (persecution from her own people, nonetheless) and who persevered in faith and love for her people, and she is my Saint, so I happen to be fond of her story. :D I hope you find it encouraging, and I sincerely hope you find your deepest needs met in our Savior.

 

St. Genevieve of Paris

 

Saint stories If you want to read more stories, just type in a name (you might try your name if you were given a Christian or Biblical name at birth) and read an abbreviation of their life story. Reading one story per day can be a very encouraging tool to help you keep walking out the faith with perseverance.

 

May God bless you and keep you.

Edited July 26, 2012 by JenniferB

[Ibbygirl]

But...another thought... about it just dropping down. I do think sometimes, for some people and experience, that peace does happen. I rather doubt it's the bubbly chipper type of peace but probably an inner peace that just let's someone know God is there and in control, KWIM? Maybe it's just a moment in time, but I guess on 2nd thought, I think sometimes people are given that moment of peace as a blessing.

 

:iagree: I totally agree with this. When my husband's mother was dying, he was right there with her. God totally gave him that peace in the moment and he was just imbued with a quiet strength to do whatever needed to be done. Everybody else left the room, they couldn't take it and dh wound being the only one in the room with her when she left this world. It really turned out to be a beautiful and sacred moment and he was there with her praying over her and reading to her and holding her hand and helping her through until she breathed her last.

 

Dh had that same quiet strength while they made the arrangements and did what needed to be done for the funeral. He wound up being such a blessing to everyone else in the family because of his ability to deal with the tragedy and do what needed to be done. Everyone else was a wreck and dh was such a blessing in such a time.

 

beautifully said. i believe God walks with us thru the valley of the shadow of death, and will comfort us. i don't believe that God causes our illnesses or kills our loved ones.... or us. bad things happen. our loving God will be there.

:iagree: That poem Footprints always reduces me to tears because it is such a true picture of how God carries us through. Nothing that happens to us surprises God. He knows what we will have to deal with, but carries us through it when we cannot walk it alone. :crying:

 

:iagree: When my mother spent 12 years dying I was the whining, crying toddler for several years of that time. I ranged from praying and believing that God would heal her miraculously, to being angry that God would do this to me, to being broken over it. It literally took me years to get to the place where I could say "Thy will be done." and mean it.

 

I am not thankful that my mother died 2 weeks before her 54th birthday. I am not thankful that she was reduced to a shadow of the woman that raised me and my children will NEVER remember her the way that I do. I am not thankful that they won't have good happy fun memories of her, and she will never see them grow up. I'm thankful for none of that.

 

but I am thankful that God was right by my side through all of it and he gave the grace and strength needed to get through it when I needed it.

 

I still don't understand the why of it all. But I am at peace without knowing why God did it, just trusting that it will be okay because he is in control.

 

I wasn't smiling and happy when I was watching her struggle for each breath. I was not smiling and happy as I watched her lose a little more of who she was each month. I was not smiling and happy when I saw my dad buried under more stress and worry than a human should have to bear. But I knew that God had it covered, and even when I was crying, he was worth of my trust.

 

Amy Grant has a song I think it is called "Better than a Hallelujah" and it is so good and applicable to this topic. God wants us to cry to him. He's okay with our questions and our hurt. He can bear it and we don't have to be smiling and happy all the time to please him.

:grouphug: Your post brought me to tears. It sounds like you had a wonderful mama. I'm sure you're very grateful for that as well.

Hmm. I read the OP earlier and wanted to think about it before posting.

 

I can think back to really horrendous times in my life when I felt both peace--confidence of God's sovereignty and knowledge of his control over the situation, and at the same time, felt emotionally tumultuous. I don't think being Pollyanna is necessarily an indicator of peace, per se, and I don't think being upset over a bad situation means you don't have peace or are not in proper alignment with God. We have emotions. God gave them to us. HE has emotions. I think we're allowed to feel. I think the litmus test is what do we do based on those emotions? Do we continue to trust in God, or do we rebel because life's not going our way and step out on our own? Our feelings are not facts and while it's ok to feel what we feel, sometimes (many times, in my own life) it's sin to react based on those feelings. So, I guess what I'm saying is, it's ok to an emotional mess over a situation. Things hurt sometimes. But feeling that hurt, or angst, or whatever doesn't necessarily mean you have no peace with God.

 

When I miscarried, I sat on the toilet with that baby boy in my hands, bleeding like a faucet, sobbing till I almost vomited, and in the back of my mind was, "When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul." I had peace, but I was devastated. I had the same experience when I discovered what my EX really is and what he was really doing. Although, mixed in to that were also murderous feelings. At the same time, that same hymn was going through my mind. God was giving me peace that in the end, we'd be ok, but at the same time, I definitely had feelings about the situation. My emotions didn't affect His peace, that peace that surpasses understanding, the peace only He gives.

 

I hope this has helped some.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: You ladies are reducing me to a sobbing mess! Thank you so much for sharing your stories. Even though they are filled with pain, the strength of faith shines through and is very encouraging.

 

This is a fallen world. We all will go through suffering and pain because of it, but I just take comfort in knowing that God will never leave me or forsake me. That no matter what happens, when other people freak and bail out and leave me alone, God will never leave me alone. He will always carry me, carry us through it all. God bless you all my sisters! :grouphug:

[UnsinkableKristen]

When I miscarried, I sat on the toilet with that baby boy in my hands, bleeding like a faucet, sobbing till I almost vomited, and in the back of my mind was, "When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul." I had peace, but I was devastated. I had the same experience when I discovered what my EX really is and what he was really doing. Although, mixed in to that were also murderous feelings. At the same time, that same hymn was going through my mind. God was giving me peace that in the end, we'd be ok, but at the same time, I definitely had feelings about the situation. My emotions didn't affect His peace, that peace that surpasses understanding, the peace only He gives.

 

I hope this has helped some.

 

Oh, I just want to give you a hug. A great big, non-internet emoticon, hug. And I want to cry a lot. That was beautiful and heartbreaking to read.