Do you react "like a Christian"? (cc obviously)

[BakersDozen]

Tonight I got a FB update from a friend who has been flown to a hospital due to placental abruption. The picture of her being loaded onto the helicopter showed her smiling and her post was focused on God, the positive in the situation, etc.

 

I have another friend who was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and lived just under two years. In that time she sent emails and kept a journal full of hope and encouragement, her faith in God strong and obvious to everyone.

 

I'm not like that. I wasn't smiling when I was put on the helicopter and in fact I don't think I smiled for weeks after my babies were born. I refused to utter even one prayer to God because I couldn't believe that after losing so many twin pregnancies He allowed me to conceive twins yet now was going to allow something to happen to at least one of them (I was sure little man was going to not make it). Even when a man from church came to pray with us before the babies were born I listened politely yet didn't participate in my heart. The first time I prayed was when the babies were 2 months old and even then it was not what it should have been.

 

If I was told I was dying I would throw a fit - a grand scale tantrum! I would not face death gracefully, I would not be thinking of others during my time of trial; I would go kicking and screaming, of that I am sure.

 

All this leads up to my question: If you are a Christian and are therefore supposed to have peace that passes all understanding and all that, do you exhibit that peace/faith in the face of trial and suffering?

 

Or are you like me - reduced to the temperament of a 2-year old who is scared, overwhelmed or just plain angry that she doesn't get her way? :blushing:

 

I see people such as my two friends and how they react to the bad things in life and I feel guilty because I don't react that way. Not even close.

[Scarlett]

Tonight I got a FB update from a friend who has been flown to a hospital due to placental abruption. The picture of her being loaded onto the helicopter showed her smiling and her post was focused on God, the positive in the situation, etc.

 

I have another friend who was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and lived just under two years. In that time she sent emails and kept a journal full of hope and encouragement, her faith in God strong and obvious to everyone.

 

I'm not like that. I wasn't smiling when I was put on the helicopter and in fact I don't think I smiled for weeks after my babies were born. I refused to utter even one prayer to God because I couldn't believe that after losing so many twin pregnancies He allowed me to conceive twins yet now was going to allow something to happen to at least one of them (I was sure little man was going to not make it). Even when a man from church came to pray with us before the babies were born I listened politely yet didn't participate in my heart. The first time I prayed was when the babies were 2 months old and even then it was not what it should have been.

 

If I was told I was dying I would throw a fit - a grand scale tantrum! I would not face death gracefully, I would not be thinking of others during my time of trial; I would go kicking and screaming, of that I am sure.

 

All this leads up to my question: If you are a Christian and are therefore supposed to have peace that passes all understanding and all that, do you exhibit that peace/faith in the face of trial and suffering?

 

Or are you like me - reduced to the temperament of a 2-year old who is scared, overwhelmed or just plain angry that she doesn't get her way? :blushing:

 

I see people such as my two friends and how they react to the bad things in life and I feel guilty because I don't react that way. Not even close.

 

Well, first of all Phil 4:6,7 is one of my all time favorite scriptures. I pray for that peace. I don't always achieve it.

 

I'm definitely more the 2 year old throwing a fit when things go wrong kinda person. At first. I calm down generally. My raising kicks in. My knowledge kicks in. But it is hard. Sometimes things just suck. Sometimes praying for acceptance is just a tall order.

[Liz CA]

A tough question. I realized that I do not know how I would react to various trials unless I live through them. I have not lost a child or been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I've had other trials and less than stellar moments. With every trial I feel I see God's purpose for my life a little clearer. I am not here to get my way or be spared heartache and pain, I am here to grow more Christ - like.

It's not necessarily a glorious road but often a slow learning process - in my case anyway.

[Ibbygirl]

:grouphug: :grouphug: Sometimes I face things with grace, sometimes I don't. I guess it just depends on where I'm at when it hits. I'm stubborn and cynical and have trust issues so many times in my walk with God (almost 23 years now) I have experienced wounds that have been self inflicted, but I did learn from the experience. I think our walk with God is so highly individual and God calls us from so many different places and backgrounds. He chose us the way we were and is working in us to make us better. I often see people who are so much better Christians than myself, but then I remember that God chose me too. He's not through with me yet and I hope to glorify Him with my life. I honestly don't know how I would react to getting cancer or something very serious happening to me. I hope I would handle it well, but I really don't know. When my son was diagnosed with Autism I cried day and night for 6 weeks. I even cried in my sleep and would wake up with a wet face and pillow. It was really really hard. I didn't get mad at God, I think more than anything I was confused and didn't understand. We pray for healing, but so far God has not healed our boy. I worry about the future and who will care for him when dh and I are dead. I worry about his safety in this big scary world, but at the end of the day I always fall back on this... I KNOW that God is good and I know that He won't give me more than I can handle. As much as I love my son, I know that he is God's and not really "mine". He will take care of him and provide all of his needs whether I worry or not so I try not to worry.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[BakersDozen]

 

Sometimes things just suck.

Back in 2002 when things were going very, very badly for me I was venting to a friend and trying to understand the whys (is that a word?) of it all. Her response was both awesome and freeing: "Sometimes things just happen, things just suck, and that's all there is to it." Best "counseling" advice I could have gotten!

[dangermom]

Yeah, that's the truth. Sometimes things just suck.

 

I try to face hard times with faith, and I have often gotten through trials because of God's strength. But I'm not sure that means that I have to smile through them all the time too. I am a naturally cheerful and optimistic person (though life has given a good shot at beating it out of me!), and I can't always smile through the worst times. I have often been given peace, though.

 

Maybe I am cynical but I tend to think that the smiley cheery ones may be doing that because they feel like that's what they're supposed to do, not because that's how they really feel. Goodness knows I don't like to share my personal feelings or cry in public, though, so who am I to judge?

[Sara in AZ]

I tend to be fairly stoic in the face of the more major things we've faced, such as having a NICU baby and the diagnosis of a chronic disease in a child. But I feel like i'm reduced to a 2 year old over so many of the day to day challenges and irritations I have. It's a daily struggle for me to focus on my blessings (for I have been richly blessed) instead of letting the little things wear me down. I wish I had better coping skills, and that grace of which you speak.

[Wendi]

Sometimes I do seem to be aware of God's peace and comfort, and I handle crises with a great deal of calmness and faith. Other times, not so much.

 

I don't beat myself up for having emotional reactions to things, though. At least, I try not to.

 

I do believe that God is faithful, and that He is in control and He loves me, but I don't always FEEL that way.

 

The church dh and I attended when we met and married, and until I was pregnant with ds, had a number of people who really made us/me feel bad for not "rejoicing in our sufferings". It's like they thought a true Christian never has negative feelings anymore. It took awhile to overcome that mindset, and feel more free to express our struggles and pain, without feeling "unspiritual".

 

Wendi

[3peasinWa]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

[Dolphin]

:grouphug:

Edited July 28, 2012 by Northwest_Mama

[Ibbygirl]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. I am so very sorry. My heart hurts for you. :( :grouphug::grouphug:

[wintermom]

I didn't know that there was one specific way a Christian would act. How would this even be possible with so many personality types and differences in people? I've lost a baby, I experienced great pain that I wish hadn't happened, but my hope still lies in God. I don't expect God to remove all the painful situations from my life, just to be there with me and be there to help me through.

[Ibbygirl]

I didn't know that there was one specific way a Christian would act. How would this even be possible with so many personality types and differences in people? I've lost a baby, I experienced great pain that I wish hadn't happened, but my hope still lies in God. I don't expect God to remove all the painful situations from my life, just to be there with me and be there to help me through.

 

Amen!. :iagree:

[Joyofsixreboot]

If I was told I was dying I would throw a fit - a grand scale tantrum! I would not face death gracefully' date=' I would not be thinking of others during my time of trial; I would go kicking and screaming, of that I am sure.

 

All this leads up to my question: If you are a Christian and are therefore supposed to have peace that passes all understanding and all that, do you exhibit that peace/faith in the face of trial and suffering?

 

Or are you like me - reduced to the temperament of a 2-year old who is scared, overwhelmed or just plain angry that she doesn't get her way? :blushing:

 

I see people such as my two friends and how they react to the bad things in life and I feel guilty because I don't react that way. Not even close.[/quote']

 

I'm like you. I am not a peaceful, accepting person. I'm not proud but that's the truth.

[sunnylady303]

I And God's big enough to handle that right now.

 

:iagree: God is big enough to handle any of our feelings.

 

I am better than I used to be. I lost my fiance when I was 21 and didn't speak to God for a year. How could He do this to me? I was a good girl. I felt betrayed.

 

Over the last 4 years, my 6YO DD has had serious lung problems caused by mold in a church parsonage where DH was pastor. The church knew there was mold yet said nothing. She was in the hospital every 6 weeks, ICU every couple of months, several surgeries. She just had surgery again in May which might finally have fixed it but showed conclusively that she was sick from the mold in that house.

 

I have swung wildly during the last years. Early on I realized I didn't really trust God to take care of my daughter. Now I am more peaceful but sometimes I get beyond furious with the church when I think of all their inconsideration has cost us and DD. Growth has happened in me but not like I wish.

 

I had a terrible day the other day and you know what? Except for a few moments, I was able to view it in the face of God's love for me.

 

We've been reading the book Kisses from Katie and she talks about mothers in Uganda who mix salt with mud to fill their children's bellies. That convicted me to the core. Everything I go through lately I have seen through that lens. It makes days like the other day much more bearable. Even my DD's health issues - it makes me honestly grateful that I live where there is good medical care for her. She wouldn't be here otherwise.

 

What a long rambling answer. :lol: You can tell this is something I struggle with and have thought about. But bottom line - our emotions are our emotions. God made us that way. I do believe the more we grow in faith, the more there is peace eventually but it is a really long rocky journey.

:grouphug::grouphug:

[happypamama]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

 

I'm so sorry. Big, gentle :grouphug: for you, and some tears too.

[garddwr]

Yeah, that's the truth. Sometimes things just suck.

 

I try to face hard times with faith, and I have often gotten through trials because of God's strength. But I'm not sure that means that I have to smile through them all the time too. I am a naturally cheerful and optimistic person (though life has given a good shot at beating it out of me!), and I can't always smile through the worst times. I have often been given peace, though.

 

Maybe I am cynical but I tend to think that the smiley cheery ones may be doing that because they feel like that's what they're supposed to do, not because that's how they really feel. Goodness knows I don't like to share my personal feelings or cry in public, though, so who am I to judge?

 

I actually think it's more a matter of temperament, not faith or character. Some of us are just made to be happy--I'm happy more than 95% of the time, and I actually tend to react to challenges by feeling more cheerful, not less. I've always been that way--my parents tell me I was that way when I was tiny. It's not really something I am choosing to do, it seems to be just the way my brain is set up. It makes a lot of things in life easier to handle, but I don't feel I can take credit for it, and I certainly don't feel it's a matter of greater spirituality or something. I do think of it as a blessing, and one that I am grateful for since I can't take the credit. I often wish I could share it with my husband and some of my children :)

[happypamama]

Tonight I got a FB update from a friend who has been flown to a hospital due to placental abruption. The picture of her being loaded onto the helicopter showed her smiling and her post was focused on God, the positive in the situation, etc.

 

I have another friend who was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and lived just under two years. In that time she sent emails and kept a journal full of hope and encouragement, her faith in God strong and obvious to everyone.

 

 

I don't know how I'd react to such circumstances, and I won't know until and unless I'm faced with them.

 

You also are only seeing a part of your friends' lives, the part they choose for you to see. They well may have a special measure of strength and grace, but they may also have their moments of crying and anger, or maybe they've had them and have worked through them, so that they're able to be strong and positive.

 

I really believe that if God is who He says He is, He is big enough to handle any emotions little ole me can through His way.

[PrincessMommy]

I am a Christian and you're right I'm supposed to have peace. But, I don't think it automatically drops on me, I think it is something I must cultivate. Will i miss the mark? You bet. I'll fall and get up and fall and get up again. It's what we do as Christians.

 

Am I good at having peace that passes understanding? no way. I wish I were.

 

I realize that some people's personalities are chipper and basically happy. But happy and peaceful aren't necessarily the same thing... and I agree with the others who said just because they put on a happy face and share encouraging updates doesn't mean that it was happening inside their hearts. It may be a front.

 

I think my peacefulness would look very different than your friend getting in the helicopter (how is she and the baby, btw??). But, that's because I'm basically a quiet more melancholy type person anyway.

 

And, honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with wondering those things you wondered about your babies. I think it's important to ask God why.

 

But...another thought... about it just dropping down. I do think sometimes, for some people and experience, that peace does happen. I rather doubt it's the bubbly chipper type of peace but probably an inner peace that just let's someone know God is there and in control, KWIM? Maybe it's just a moment in time, but I guess on 2nd thought, I think sometimes people are given that moment of peace as a blessing.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I *freak* first. In time, I calm down and can be hopeful, find pearls in the sand, etc. There is a HUGE difference in how I would handle the first 5 minutes or 24 hours of something versus the long term. Of course, I'd likely backslide into despair here and there as well as have amazing fortitude. It just all depends.

[Zebra]

David railed against God at times in the Psalms. Still, he was called a man after God's own heart. Being a human is messy, and if we were perfect we wouldn't need God. Sometimes reacting like a 3 year old give me some much needed humility.

 

I think if you are a Christian, and you are reacting, you are "reacting like a Christian". But that's just MY opinion ;).

[elegantlion]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

 

:grouphug: I am very sorry for your loss. :grouphug:

[Katy]

It's funny, Joyce Meyer's Enjoying Everyday Life episode today is sort of about this... she says, "If you know you're going to feel sorry for yourself if you don't get your way in a situation, then start praying ahead of time... ...If you will start praying on a regular basis about the things that are temptations for you, then you will have the strength to overcome it when temptation comes." Then she went on to talk about Jesus, not wanting what he knew was coming, being stressed to the point of sweating blood, but he kept praying, and asked for this cup to pass from him, but kept saying "Your will be done," and then angels came and strengthened him.

 

I think God wants a relationship with you that is genuine, no matter what. If you are unhappy about something then to pretend to not be would be lying. There is no "should."

 

Usually in very difficult situations, like the death of a close family member, I go numb.

 

Sometimes I snap at God though, and those have been some of the most effective prayers. They are always answered almost immediately (less than half an hour). My sister was with me once when I got so angry about a situation I actually yelled at God. She gave me a lecture. I quoted "The fervent effectual prayers of a righteous man availith much," and explained what that meant. In less than 20 minutes I had the answer I needed. She was shocked.

[Katy]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

 

I'm so sorry... :grouphug:

[Kaleidoscope]

In what I've faced so far I have had more peace than I expected to have. Sometimes though that's been with a smile and other times with tears. I went through a time of pain where I had nightmares for nearly 2 years and during that period I barely functioned. I don't think any of it honored God more or less. It was just my journey. It was real and legit.

[Chris in VA]

Maybe peace is not a feeling, exactly, like love is not just a feeling--

Maybe peace is a decision to believe God beyond the emotions one may be experiencing.

[Scuff]

Both. And i think that's ok. We're all created differently, deal with things differently and God deals with us uniquely, also. I think it's important to be honest with God. I wouldn't suggest that you stop praying, but rather that you tell Him about it. There have been plenty of times when things sucked that I told God what I thought about it all.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

 

I'm so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug:

[lisamarie]

I spent 3 months of bedrest during my pregnancy with DS, ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks on bedrest before an emergency c/s at 34 weeks due to preeclampsia. DS spent 2 weeks in the NICU on a ventilator and then a cpap.

 

I went through the whole pregnancy and delivery completely peacefully. I trusted that it would work out and that God was in control. And then I saw DS in the isolette in the NICU hooked up to a ventilator and what seemed like a thousand wires and I lost it. I cried every single time I stepped through the NICU doors to see my son. While I trusted God to take care of my son, my emotions could not handle it.

 

So I think the answer is both.

[Ruby Rose]

I usually have a knee jerk temper tantrum reaction and later put things in perspective and realize I am not in control.

[goldberry]

Sometimes the peace of God is what enables someone to keep smiling through their troubles. But sometimes I think it is just what enables you to have the tantrums, to rant and rave, but then still keep going.

 

There are days when I believe without God I would have shut down completely, as in not getting out of bed, or having to be hauled away somewhere. Those days I still wasn't a very peaceful Christian, but I still relied on God and His help.

 

Maybe on some future day I do get hauled off (:-), He will be the reason I keep living to try another day.

 

You can't always judge by the result, but more about what is overcome. It's like trying to compare troubles, you just can't. Each of our own troubles is just as painful to us.

 

(Thanks for this thread, it's very encouraging and genuine.)

[mommaduck]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

:grouphug:

[mommaduck]

I have been near death before and I have to say that I was at peace with it both times. The second time I was in a position to try to fight it though, but still at peace.

 

I've lost babies. With our stillborn, it was very hard. I was at peace with it. At the same time, I did go through a tuning everyone out time.

[freeindeed]

I go from both ends of the spectrum: peace and throwing fits. I am currently dealing with dd4's diagnosis of much more significant special needs than we anticipated. I am struggling right now. I honestly feel angry and overwhelmed more than peaceful.

[krorabaugh]

Wow tough question

[elfgivas]

Maybe peace is not a feeling, exactly, like love is not just a feeling--

Maybe peace is a decision to believe God beyond the emotions one may be experiencing.

 

:iagree: beautifully said. i believe God walks with us thru the valley of the shadow of death, and will comfort us. i don't believe that God causes our illnesses or kills our loved ones.... or us. bad things happen. our loving God will be there. the bible tells us to be "thankful in all things", not to be thankful FOR all things. for me, there is the world of difference. i can choose to notice the hummingbird in the midst of horror, and find God's presence in her presence and be thankful, without being thankful for the horror, kwim?

 

:grouphug:

ann

[ma23peas]

I am a highly highly empathic person, I feel other's pain deeply, refuse to watch animal movies because it leaves me feeling so wrecked afterwards!

 

When I came to know Christ, the more I know about the love for a child...the more I come to know Christ...when I think of the incredible, massive sacrifice that was made for me..and then add in all the many, many times God has clearly shown His grace to me...I can more easily find that sweet grace in times of heartbreak or loss...because nothing I suffer can match the sacrifice God made, nor match the depth of His love for me. I may not understand the whys or hows while on this Earth, but that blessed assurance of knowing He cares for me and is doing a work in me that makes my heart long to be more Christlike sustains me.

 

I have also read countless experiences, Corrie Ten Boom-God Smuggler-etc, from those who have shared in His plan...these I hold close to my heart as evidence of a loving God who uses everything. I care less how things affect me as much as I care about how my actions affect others...I want more than anything to have others know the God I know.

[swellmomma]

I start at the "it's not fair!" stage mixed with "this can't be happening" panic. Once I have had a chance to process things and have a plan to know that things will be okay then I can smile and offer gratitude, and smiles etc.

 

When my babies were born prem I certainly wasn't smiling until I knew they were okay. When ds8 was in his accident I wasn't smiling until we were out of the hospital. With my news from the dr I won't be smiling about it until all tests are back in and I find out I am prefectly fine or I am not and can work from there.

 

I do not believe God expects us to think that everything bad that happens to us is a good thing. At least not in the moment. I actually find it creepy when I see someone smiling away right after being told devestating news. I would have been bawling if I was being loaded into a helicopter with my baby's life on the line not smiling. I find the smiling to either be fake in order to comfort others, or a sign that the person just doesn't care.

 

In the case of someone with cancer, I see it a bit differently, because it usually isn't about smiling and pretending to be happy, it is about praying through the pain and trying to find solace in that there must be a plan for this not just a fluke of nature kwim.

 

I also find that if it is something just pertaining to me I can smile and be positive about it much faster than if it has to do with my kids. If it is something putting one of them at risk, I get sullen, and weepy and ANGRY for a long time before I can be all smiles.

[TranquilMind]

LuvnMySvn: All this leads up to my question: If you are a Christian and are therefore supposed to have peace that passes all understanding and all that, do you exhibit that peace/faith in the face of trial and suffering?

 

Not all the time! Initially, no. But then it comes. I had multiple family members suffer from terrible things due to hospital error. I avoided hospitals like the plague. I even stayed home three days with a ruptured appendix, though honestly, I did not have normal symptoms and thought maybe I had some weird flu. But when I went in, total peace. This is NOT ME. I'm that person pacing and hyperventilating.

 

 

Or are you like me - reduced to the temperament of a 2-year old who is scared, overwhelmed or just plain angry that she doesn't get her way? :blushing:

 

Yes. At first. My husband prays me through this stuff, I'm sure.

I see people such as my two friends and how they react to the bad things in life and I feel guilty because I don't react that way. Not even close.

[TranquilMind]

elfgivas@yahoo.com;] beautifully said. i believe God walks with us thru the valley of the shadow of death, and will comfort us. i don't believe that God causes our illnesses or kills our loved ones.... or us. bad things happen. our loving God will be there. the bible tells us to be "thankful in all things", not to be thankful FOR all things. for me, there is the world of difference.

 

Yes, absolutely!

[TranquilMind]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

I'm so sorry.

[fairfarmhand]

Well, first of all Phil 4:6,7 is one of my all time favorite scriptures. I pray for that peace. I don't always achieve it.

 

I'm definitely more the 2 year old throwing a fit when things go wrong kinda person. At first. I calm down generally. My raising kicks in. My knowledge kicks in. But it is hard. Sometimes things just suck. Sometimes praying for acceptance is just a tall order.

:iagree: When my mother spent 12 years dying I was the whining, crying toddler for several years of that time. I ranged from praying and believing that God would heal her miraculously, to being angry that God would do this to me, to being broken over it. It literally took me years to get to the place where I could say "Thy will be done." and mean it.

 

I am not thankful that my mother died 2 weeks before her 54th birthday. I am not thankful that she was reduced to a shadow of the woman that raised me and my children will NEVER remember her the way that I do. I am not thankful that they won't have good happy fun memories of her, and she will never see them grow up. I'm thankful for none of that.

 

but I am thankful that God was right by my side through all of it and he gave the grace and strength needed to get through it when I needed it.

 

I still don't understand the why of it all. But I am at peace without knowing why God did it, just trusting that it will be okay because he is in control.

 

I wasn't smiling and happy when I was watching her struggle for each breath. I was not smiling and happy as I watched her lose a little more of who she was each month. I was not smiling and happy when I saw my dad buried under more stress and worry than a human should have to bear. But I knew that God had it covered, and even when I was crying, he was worth of my trust.

 

Amy Grant has a song I think it is called "Better than a Hallelujah" and it is so good and applicable to this topic. God wants us to cry to him. He's okay with our questions and our hurt. He can bear it and we don't have to be smiling and happy all the time to please him.

[kricau]

I think it depends on how deeply rooted in your faith you are. Mine is wavering sometimes, and I do react badly to situations like that. But I know others who's faith is rock solid, and they are the kind who get told they have Cancer and use it to God's glory. I am refering to my Pa-Paw who used his last breath to praise God and tell others of His grace.

[swellmomma]

 

Amy Grant has a song I think it is called "Better than a Hallelujah" and it is so good and applicable to this topic. God wants us to cry to him. He's okay with our questions and our hurt. He can bear it and we don't have to be smiling and happy all the time to please him.

 

I love that song! I find it speaks right to me about being genuine in our emotions, and not masking the hurts.

[Scarlett]

:iagree: When my mother spent 12 years dying I was the whining, crying toddler for several years of that time. I ranged from praying and believing that God would heal her miraculously, to being angry that God would do this to me, to being broken over it. It literally took me years to get to the place where I could say "Thy will be done." and mean it.

 

I am not thankful that my mother died 2 weeks before her 54th birthday. I am not thankful that she was reduced to a shadow of the woman that raised me and my children will NEVER remember her the way that I do. I am not thankful that they won't have good happy fun memories of her, and she will never see them grow up. I'm thankful for none of that.

 

but I am thankful that God was right by my side through all of it and he gave the grace and strength needed to get through it when I needed it.

 

I still don't understand the why of it all. But I am at peace without knowing why God did it, just trusting that it will be okay because he is in control.

 

I wasn't smiling and happy when I was watching her struggle for each breath. I was not smiling and happy as I watched her lose a little more of who she was each month. I was not smiling and happy when I saw my dad buried under more stress and worry than a human should have to bear. But I knew that God had it covered, and even when I was crying, he was worth of my trust.

 

Amy Grant has a song I think it is called "Better than a Hallelujah" and it is so good and applicable to this topic. God wants us to cry to him. He's okay with our questions and our hurt. He can bear it and we don't have to be smiling and happy all the time to please him.

 

 

 

 

:grouphug:

[Meriwether]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

 

:grouphug:I'm sorry for your loss.

[Dory]

I can't rant at anyone else or tell them how I'm really honestly feeling, I have to take it somewhere and I figure that God can handle it. He made me, He knows what's happening in my life. Usually it's either sob and scream at Him and get all that emotion out that way, or I'd be back to trying to kill myself. These days, that open doorway of real, honest communication is the tiny rope is keeping me tied to life.

[TravelingChris]

Well part of it may be a decision one makes before the circumstance. In my case, when I was in my late 20's and the doctors were trying to diagnose what eventually was diagnosed as my first chronic illness, I was waiting to get blood drawn. There was another young woman there and she had some type of chronic kidney problem and was coming in for her regular blood work. She was so cheerful and pleasant. It made me think, since that isn't my natural personality, about how I was going to maybe have to have frequent blood tests (and yes, I have had hundreds and hundreds and will have many, many more if I live for some time more since all I have done is add more chronic illnesses and conditions to my list) and I decided that I would try to be friendly and nice, not complaining, while I got my blood tests. Does it mean that I never get upset about my chronic illnesses or the serious illnesses my children got? No, but probably a lot less upset than many. It kind of was a choice for me. I chose to take it as God's plan for my life and my kids.

 

And there are some blessings to my diseases and my kid's problems. With mine, I wouldn't have become a homeschooler. My whole family is closer because of my son's illness and subsequent decision to live near us. Many more blessings that I won't list.

[I.Dup.]

I just lost my unborn baby last week. I haven't smiled about that...I haven't thanked God, haven't prayed to Him, etc. I still love Him..I still have faith in Him. But I'm hurting. And God's big enough to handle that right now.

 

:grouphug: I'm so sorry. :(

 

To the OP, I do think those people have their struggles "off camera" so to speak. I do not know how I would react (and I hope to not ever find out!). I don't know. I would hope to have some measure of grace and positivity but I would never expect that of anyone.

 

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[fairfarmhand]

oh, another thought....

 

those people who say that you should never ask God why....

 

Didn't Jesus do it from the cross? Jesus was just like us. He begged the Father to take away the trial that he had to face. He was thirsty. He was hurt that everyone, even the Father had forsaken him. But he was still God.

 

so if you have to ask God why, just don't camp out there. Travel through the hurt and get to the other side when you can say, I don't know why, I wish God would tell me. But I still trust in him, even when I don't know why.