Help me explain she/her pronoun usages to 5 yr old

[RootAnn]

My five year old boy doesn't pick things up naturally from hearing them over & over again. One obvious example of this is the proper usage of subject & object pronouns. (There are more, but this one really bugs DH.)

 

He will say, "Becca said her like those." Or, "Him riding his bike."

 

All other family members (well, except the youngest, who doesn't talk yet) use them correctly.

 

I've tried to explain when to use he vs. him or she vs. her, and I've tried giving him examples of when to use each. He doesn't get it.

 

Can you give me a way to explain it, just continue to gently correct him, or should we chill out & hope he figures it out eventually?

 

What says the Hive?

[Alpac]

I don't have any answers for you. I am in the same boat with my just turned 8 year old so I am interested in any suggestions others may have as well.

 

:bigear:

[Carrie12345]

At 5, I say chill.

I think it's cute when my 5yo says "Her's toy" or "Him's shoes" I miss when my dds used to say silly little things like that, which didn't phase out until they were closer to 6/7. Then, one day, their grammar abilities exploded.

[boscopup]

I just correct it and have him repeat. My 5.5 year old does this ALL the time. I'm seeing improvement.

 

So if he says, "Her is pretty." I will say, "Yes, SHE is pretty... Say, 'She is pretty.'" and he'll repeat. I do this in a happy manner, not a "you're doing it wrong" manner, of course. He is used to having his speech corrected anyway, since he's in speech therapy and had to learn how to properly pronounce all the 'm' words (he was using 'n' instead... except for "mama", which he said correctly).

 

ETA: My 5.5 year old is nowhere near ready to understand "grammar", so I don't even try to teach that right now. :)

[Momling]

At 5, it's still an issue of just language acquisition, not 'incorrect grammar'. Just like some sounds (like /r/) come later, it's totally normal for a 5 yr old to overgeneralize grammatical rules or get confused by the last remaining bits of the English case system. I'd let it go. He'll figure it out eventually.

[Farrar]

Yeah, I think patient, non-judgmental correction is the way to go. It did eventually work for us with getting my kids to recognize gender pronouns... even if it took years.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

:bigear: Ds5.5 does a similar thing. He says "his" and "he" for everyone, boy or girl. He knows who are girls and who are boys, but he said it wrong anyway. A year of saying "her. Girls are her's." and having him repeat the sentence correctly has not made a dent at all in it. :glare:

[Shannanlee]

They will grow out of it don't worry my daughter did that at five and now she doesn't at 6.

[Tracy]

When my ds was in speech therapy, we were instructed in what she called "auditory training." What this meant was that whenever ds use a word incorrectly, we would repeat what he meant to say with emphasis on the correction. However, we were not supposed to tell him he was wrong or make him repeat it. (OTOH, the speech therapist was allowed to discuss incorrect speech and ask him to repeat things.) This was to show him the right way while preventing him from feeling overwhelmed at the constant correction.

 

So if ds said something like "Him riding his bike," we would respond, "Yes, he is riding his bike," emphasizing the bolded words without saying anything further.

 

Remember that at 5yo, he has a very ingrained habit to undo, in addition to learning the right way. You may need some professional instruction.

[RootAnn]

I don't have any answers for you. I am in the same boat with my just turned 8 year old so I am interested in any suggestions others may have as well.

 

I wasn't sure how long to let it go. . .

 

I miss when my dds used to say silly little things like that . . .

 

It can be "cute" in retrospect or when they are little (like thumb-sucking is cute on a really small toddler). It isn't cute when they are older, IMO.

 

I just correct it and have him repeat.

 

ETA: My 5.5 year old is nowhere near ready to understand "grammar", so I don't even try to teach that right now. :)

 

*nods* We will almost always gently restate it correctly, but there is a difference of opinion in our house on whether we should have him repeat it the correct way. ... And he's in NO shape to understand "grammar." I was hoping someone had an easy way of explaining when to use which one in a way that he could understand.

 

At 5, it's still an issue of just language acquisition, not 'incorrect grammar'. Just like some sounds (like /r/) come later, it's totally normal for a 5 yr old to overgeneralize grammatical rules or get confused by the last remaining bits of the English case system. I'd let it go. He'll figure it out eventually.

 

Hmm. So, still totally normal for a five yr old to not have picked it up yet. Ok. :001_unsure:

 

Yeah, I think patient, non-judgmental correction is the way to go. It did eventually work for us with getting my kids to recognize gender pronouns... even if it took years.

 

YEARS. :svengo:

 

:bigear: Ds5.5 does a similar thing. He says "his" and "he" for everyone, boy or girl. He knows who are girls and who are boys, but he said it wrong anyway. A year of saying "her. Girls are her's." and having him repeat the sentence correctly has not made a dent at all in it. :glare:

 

:blink::toetap05:

 

When my ds was in speech therapy, we were instructed in what she called "auditory training." What this meant was that whenever ds use a word incorrectly, we would repeat what he meant to say with emphasis on the correction. However, we were not supposed to tell him he was wrong or make him repeat it.

 

Remember that at 5yo, he has a very ingrained habit to undo, in addition to learning the right way. You may need some professional instruction.

 

Since he's only been talking for two years, I'm hoping it isn't too ingrained. I don't think he's an auditory learner, so I'm unsure how else to deal with it.

 

I appreciate all the input. I hope we don't end up needing professional instruction because in our small town, that will be an issue. If we end up getting him speech therapy (for some of his other issues), I'll make sure to mention this to the therapist so she can address it.

 

Thanks!

[foxbridgeacademy]

At 5, I say chill.

I think it's cute when my 5yo says "Her's toy" or "Him's shoes" I miss when my dds used to say silly little things like that, which didn't phase out until they were closer to 6/7. Then, one day, their grammar abilities exploded.

:iagree:

I miss the cute little lisp of a gramatically incorrect sentence too.

 

 

If you really feel the need to correct (for some of us the need is uncontrollable) then just repeat the sentence back correctly and move on.... It will eventually sink in.

[Embassy]

As a former SLP who worked with this issue with many kids it isn't typically a difficult one to help. It usually took a couple months of practice before it started to show up in the child's speech.

 

Modeling the correct form when repeating back what the child said is an excellent thing to do while your child is learning (as tracymirko stated). That may be enough for some kids.

 

If you wanted to do direct instruction I wouldn't go into specifics about grammar, but at age 5 I might get a stack of pictures of boys and girls doing something. If you want to buy something then this product may work well: http://www.linguisystems.com/products/product/display?itemid=10723

Once you have the pictures state a simple sentence like "She is eating" for each picture. Have your child repeat after you. Once he can do this you can have him start making up a sentence with he and she. He may need help at first. Once he starts to get good at this then you can move to playing games with these pictures to help him start moving the skill into his conversational speech.

 

I'd sit down for about 20 minutes or so and practice a couple times a week and you should see results in a couple months.