Homeschooling high school

[Night Elf]

Dd14 is registered to start public school in 5 weeks. I'm already doubting and regretting this decision.

 

To sum up her reasons, she doesn't feel that homeschool will prepare her either academically or socially for college. We use Keystone High School so she will have an accredited diploma. They have AP classes. They only require 21 credits to graduate but I'm sure they will allow a student to take more before issuing a diploma. She thinks the classroom experience of ps will make college less scary. She thinks she'll have a better chance at making a couple of friends. I'll admit she is very lonely at home. She only has 2 friends. One is in public school already and the other one is so busy she can't get together with dd. Also, she's starting 9th grade at the ps as well. However, there is a group that offers homeschool classes that we've used before. The classes are really small, but there are usually a few kids at the hs level. This is where she made her friends so I see no reason to believe she won't make more friends there as well.

 

When I told DH, he said to tell dd she was going to stay home unless she said, in these exact words, "I absolutely want to go to school." I'm trying to decide if I should do this, or just let it go and let her try school.

 

If she goes to hs, she is starting over as a 9th grader. If she stays home, she is a 10th grader. We didn't want to transfer her freshman classes to public hs because her age peers are starting 9th grade and she's too afraid to enter hs as a 10th grader with no friends or school experience. Honestly, if she doesn't start now, she will probably never go.

 

How can I assure her that finishing high school at home will still prepare her for college? She's worried that homeschoolers have a really hard time settling in and doing well when they aren't used to being in a classroom and on a strict, rigid schedule. I do not personally know any homeschoolers who are in college. In fact, we have only met a few homeschool high schoolers and we haven't talked to them in at least a year.

 

Any words of wisdom? Sorry my post is long. I've just got so many thoughts going around in my head and I can't seem to organize them.

[elegantlion]

What are the laws on CC classes, dual enrollment type of stuff. Our state allows it junior and senior year. Could you allow those type of classes, maybe do a limited enrollment one fall to see how it goes?

 

I keep reading these threads on CC and how unmotivated some of these students are, and it kind of freaks me out thinking of sending my less than motivated student there. I don't know what a few years will bring to his ability.

 

Then I ask some well-educated people how they'd approach college today. They suggested the CC route and transfer after two years. This particular person has many successful examples of recent students who took that route. However, most of them were highly motivated to use the CC for its value and then transfer elsewhere to fulfill their goals.

 

I guess my point is that it may not be the environment, it's more the individual student.

 

If she goes to high school will she have an opportunity to TRY colleges classes before graduation? I don't know about the friend issue, we're sort of in the same boat.

[Lori D.]

First: (((Beth))) hugs and encouragement to you, whatever path your family ends up walking! No advice or personal experience to help with your situation, but just wanted to support and encourage you!

 

 

Second: young teens can really get the bit between the teeth and sometimes nothing you say will convince them, despite the facts... Clearly, the benefits of homeschooling, especially in academic rigor, being prepared for college, ability to pursue personal passion/interest, and flexibility of schedule for socializing, are many. There are SO many threads on this board and the College Board of how well most homeschoolers adjust to college, so that is really not a big issue. So I would guess this is really more about being lonely and/or wanting to be more like "normal" or "regular" teens.

 

Who knows? DD may find that being a freshman is so boring (academically unchallenging compared to her 10th grade abilities) and not fun socially (freshman as the "low man on the totem pole") that she may decide high school isn't the experience she hoped for and end up finishing high school at home... Or, she may thrive and excel -- be on Honor roll, take Honors classes, get involved in great extracurriculars she didn't have access to before, make good friends... Either way, she'll learn something about herself and do some growing, which is all to the good. :)

 

 

It sounds like DD has firmly made up her mind, but, has she considered there are MORE options than just going to public school if what she wants is:

1. academic rigor

2. classroom experience to prepare for college

3. social aspect/friends

 

For the academics and classroom prep, there are options of dual enrollment with community college, or some public schools allow you to take just 1-2 classes. Or what about more rigorous online classes than what she is currently doing? For just classroom skills, what about a homeschool co-op class?

 

For the social aspects, that are many places/ways to meet teens outside of a public school classroom (which is supposed to be about learning, not socializing) -- again there are lots of past threads with LOADS of ideas I can link you to if it would help:

- volunteering

- teen community organizations

- involvement in national teen organizations

- involvement in community clubs/groups of similar interests

- participation in high school sports or clubs

 

 

Finally, I just want to encourage you; I have several homeschooling friends who have had teens who were adamant about attending public school, and it has worked out just fine. It allowed the parent-child relationship -- which was taking a real beating due to the child's frustration at schooling at home -- to really flourish.

 

What these homeschool moms did: loved their kids lots and helped them prepare for what school will be like (find classes in advance, how to use locker, how to organize for homework/turn in work, etc.). They also made it an option to return home if public school turned out to NOT be so wonderful.

 

And you will want to encourage your DD to get involved in school activities, because THAT is the only way you *really* get to socialize/meet people/make friends -- join yearbook or newspaper staff; play in the band or orchestra; participate in the theater productions; try out for sports; join an after school club...

 

 

You've done a super job in schooling your 3 children, Beth, and I have every confidence you will continue to do a wonderful job in parenting and mentoring your DD as your family works through this time of transition, however it ends up working out for your DD to do high school. :) Wishing you the very best! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Night Elf]

Thank you Paula and Lori. You've given me some good information so I can help her be more informed before she makes her final decision. I'm hoping that we can make a firm decision and stop second guessing it. I do not want to spend the next month with her going back and forth. I don't know if my nerves can take it. :)

[ereks mom]

First: (((Beth))) hugs and encouragement to you, whatever path your family ends up walking! No advice or personal experience to help with your situation, but just wanted to support and encourage you!

 

 

Second: young teens can really get the bit between the teeth and sometimes nothing you say will convince them, despite the facts... Clearly, the benefits of homeschooling, especially in academic rigor, being prepared for college, ability to pursue personal passion/interest, and flexibility of schedule for socializing, are many. There are SO many threads on this board and the College Board of how well most homeschoolers adjust to college, so that is really not a big issue. So I would guess this is really more about being lonely and/or wanting to be more like "normal" or "regular" teens.

Who knows? DD may find that being a freshman is so boring (academically unchallenging compared to her 10th grade abilities) and not fun socially (freshman as the "low man on the totem pole") that she may decide high school isn't the experience she hoped for and end up finishing high school at home... Or, she may thrive and excel -- be on Honor roll, take Honors classes, get involved in great extracurriculars she didn't have access to before, make good friends... Either way, she'll learn something about herself and do some growing, which is all to the good. :)

 

It sounds like DD has firmly made up her mind, but, has she considered there are MORE options than just going to public school if what she wants is:

1. academic rigor

2. classroom experience to prepare for college

3. social aspect/friends

 

For the academics and classroom prep, there are options of dual enrollment with community college, or some public schools allow you to take just 1-2 classes. Or what about more rigorous online classes than what she is currently doing? For just classroom skills, what about a homeschool co-op class?

 

For the social aspects, that are many places/ways to meet teens outside of a public school classroom (which is supposed to be about learning, not socializing) -- again there are lots of past threads with LOADS of ideas I can link you to if it would help:

- volunteering

- teen community organizations

- involvement in national teen organizations

- involvement in community clubs/groups of similar interests

- participation in high school sports or clubs

 

 

Finally, I just want to encourage you; I have several homeschooling friends who have had teens who were adamant about attending public school, and it has worked out just fine. It allowed the parent-child relationship -- which was taking a real beating due to the child's frustration at schooling at home -- to really flourish.

 

What these homeschool moms did: loved their kids lots and helped them prepare for what school will be like (find classes in advance, how to use locker, how to organize for homework/turn in work, etc.). They also made it an option to return home if public school turned out to NOT be so wonderful.

 

And you will want to encourage your DD to get involved in school activities, because THAT is the only way you *really* get to socialize/meet people/make friends -- join yearbook or newspaper staff; play in the band or orchestra; participate in the theater productions; try out for sports; join an after school club...

 

 

You've done a super job in schooling your 3 children, Beth, and I have every confidence you will continue to do a wonderful job in parenting and mentoring your DD as your family works through this time of transition, however it ends up working out for your DD to do high school. :) Wishing you the very best! Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

:iagree:

[gingersmom]

My daughter was in public school, private school and then home schooled for 2 years (7th and 8th grade).

 

I told her if she wanted to go for high school she had to start in 9th grade (private school, public school not an option for homeschoolers). She hemmed and hawed and finally decided she wanted to go back to a private school. I told her there was no changing her mind, it was full steam ahead.

 

It turned out to be the best decision for my daughter. We found a school she adores, has more friends than she has ever had in her life, amazing teachers, she made high honor roll and will be in honors/ap classes next year.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Night Elf]

Our public schools do not do part-time enrollment. It's all or nothing.

 

There is a dual enrollment for high school and college for juniors and seniors. Different colleges have different SAT reqs, but the cc college only requires SAT Critical Reading score of 480 and a Math score of 440. I did mention this option to her but she has a plan to enter college as an 18 yr. old freshman along with other kids her age and live in a freshman dorm. I'll give her points for her long range plan. My other two kids have no idea what they want to do but dd14 is mapped out through her Masters Degree.

 

The open house day for freshman is July 26th. She'll get her schedule and be able to walk it out to see where all of her classrooms are. They'll have club representatives so she can sign up for clubs on that day. The only club that she might be interested in is a community service club. She doesn't want to be on the newspaper, which I thought would be a great thing. I was on my high school newspaper for one year, but I didn't do well with the writing. I wonder if the newspaper has other jobs besides writing. I'll have her talk with them I guess.

 

Apparently my input carries a lot of weight with her, but I'm worried I will keep her home for my reasons. For now, I'm waiting until open house. We'll see what kind of schedule they'll offer. She had to list classes in priority but the final decision of what she takes is left in the hands of the school. While I understand it from a logistical point of view, I'm not overly fond of the idea that she will be in classes she hates. And I want to see her join something. I'm afraid she's going to back out. I told her that clubs were the way to be social but she's really iffy on the idea.

[Tokyomarie]

There is a dual enrollment for high school and college for juniors and seniors. Different colleges have different SAT reqs, but the cc college only requires SAT Critical Reading score of 480 and a Math score of 440. I did mention this option to her but she has a plan to enter college as an 18 yr. old freshman along with other kids her age and live in a freshman dorm. I'll give her points for her long range plan. My other two kids have no idea what they want to do but dd14 is mapped out through her Masters Degree.

 

Dual enrollment in CC does not prevent a student from entering college as a freshman. As long as a student is still officially a high school student at the time CC classes are taken, he/she retains the ability to apply to college under freshman admission rules. After admission, the college will review the CC transcript and decide how many credits will transfer.

 

My oldest child took 16 credit hours at CC, plus sat for one AP exam. She also was proficient in Japanese language from our years in Japan. After everything was evaluated, her college awarded her something like 36 credit hours for study previous to enrollment at that college. She was admitted as a freshman and stayed a full 4 years. Her credits allowed her to do a double major & a minor.

 

My son is no longer homeschooling but through the program he is in, he will probably earn more than 70 credits. He will still apply to 4 year schools as a freshman. Depending on how things shake out with his required courses for the major, he may or may not graduate before he has been there 4 years. With his current plan, he will, however, have job skills in two different areas of computer/information systems.

[Sunshine State Sue]

Dual enrollment in CC does not prevent a student from entering college as a freshman.

:iagree: Dual enrollment is a huge benefit. If your dd plans on attending a large public college in your state, she would be able to bypass huge freshman classes.

 

Thoughts:

- I don't know much about Keystone, but I would have hated being chained to a computer all through high school

- Had our PS been more appealing and our CC less appealing (free dual enrollment in 10th-12th grade), I would have opted for PS

- Completely understand the loneliness issue

 

Good luck with your decision.

[Matryoshka]

:grouphug: Both my dds14 are heading off to high school in the fall. It'll be the first time in school for both of them. I've definitely got mixed feelings!

 

For us, I think it's at least worth trying it out for a bunch of reasons:

- hard to enter after 9th grade - I think it would be possible, but potentially a huge hassle.

- good high school, no free dual-credit cc here (except by random funding-fairy miracles - no guarantees)

- tons of clubs and extracurriculars

- the other kids are coming from two middle schools, so they won't be the only 'new' kids

- I was also a bit burnt out by middle school, kids were resistant, and I feel like it could improve our relationship if I were more mom and less queen nag.

 

One of my dds I think will thrive there. She has really been wanting to see friends every day. She wants to be in lots of clubs, orchestra, try a team sport (swimming).

 

The other dd I think will be just fine. She's an introvert, so doesn't really care so much about lots of other people. However, she doesn't want to stay behind, and I'm hoping that with a large school, she may find some kids who share her interests, and be out a bit from her sister's shadow. She does complain that whenever she makes a friend and then they meet her sister, they become more her sister's friend instead of hers, and she's not really wrong. :(

 

I've told them that they can come home again (or just one of them can) if they absolutely hate it for whatever (good) reason, but that then they have to take at least co-ownership of their educations - not me dragging them uphill. If they come back home, it's a one-way ticket; no going back and forth. Or if the school ends up to big for the introvert, I may see if she can get into a nearby math/science charter school, which would be smaller and filled with kids with her interests.

 

Sorry, don't know if that helps, just wanted to say I'm there too. And I don't know that my decision would've been the same if the one dd wasn't so socially needy, if the school didn't have a great academic reputation, if middle school hadn't been so stressful for us, or if I just had the one who's an introvert. It's hard to unbundle all that.

 

Bottom line I'm figuring if they're going to try it at all, 9th grade is the time. It's much easier to come back home than it is to try to put them in high school mid-stream.

[Night Elf]

Dual enrollment in CC does not prevent a student from entering college as a freshman.

 

That is very cool to know. I'll talk to her about that and we can look into it together.

[snowbeltmom]

...

How can I assure her that finishing high school at home will still prepare her for college? She's worried that homeschoolers have a really hard time settling in and doing well when they aren't used to being in a classroom and on a strict, rigid schedule. ...

 

:grouphug:

In my opinion, the strict, rigid schedule of high school hinders a student once she arrives on the college campus.

 

My oldest attended a summer program at a highly ranked university last summer and I remember reading a notice that was posted on a bulletin board. The notice highlighted the skill-set needed to succeed in college and highlighted how this skill-set differed from the expectations and skill-sets needed to succeed in high school. I wished I would have asked for a copy of this notice because every skill listed as needed to succeed in college is the skill set that a successful homeschooler has achieved before high school graduation.

 

Obviously, there is no one right answer. Good luck to your family with your decision.

[rlugbill]

My dd is 14 also. She was homeschooled until this year. We put her in a very good private school and she loved it. She is an only child, so she loved having other kids around.

 

However, we noticed some changes in her behavior that we didn't like. She started interrupting people instead of waiting until they were done talking. She became more impulsive and less thoughtful. Her tastes in everything shifted so that she like the same music, the same books, the same clothes, etc. as all the other kids at her school. She lost her self- she wanted so much to conform that she just adopted the same thoughts and opinions as all the other kids.

 

And, she was constantly sleep-deprived. She worked 24/7 between school, extra-curriculars and homework. We lost our family life. Every evening, all evening was homework and study. I was proud that she worked hard and did well in the best private school in our town, doing tough classes like geometry, chemistry, physics, French, Latin, etc.

 

And she became more self-centered and less compassionate. More uptight and less relaxed. More rebellious and unwilling to speak to us in front of her peers.

 

We didn't like these changes, so we made the decision to homeschool her from now on. She doesn't like it, but she will eventually get over it. She can still be friends with those kids. But, she won't have to get up early.

 

We'll do a co-op type thing once/week and she'll have some type of activity every day- she does flute and violin and orchestra and swimming. I feel like we are just starting to get her back. We can hang out and talk and laugh now, like we used to. She will gradually get used to it.

 

That was our experience with school. We liked the private school- some minor criticisms, but generally a very good school with small classes, good students, some top teachers, etc. She learned a lot and improved her writing and analytical skills. It is definitely better than the public school in our area, even though we live in a good suburb with "good" schools, international bacalaureate program, lots of good programs, etc.

 

We just like homeschool better. We like having our daughter back. It's like she lost herself and we lost our relationship with her temporarily. It's nice to return to normal now.

 

That was our experience. Your mileage may vary.

[Teachin'Mine]

That is very cool to know. I'll talk to her about that and we can look into it together.

 

I highly recommend at least a few classes at the cc too. Snowbeltmom is right that a rigid high school program isn't the best prep for college. In high school, the students are told what to do each and every day and are continually reminded of upcoming tests and when papers are due. It's not that way, generally, in college. Students will be given the test dates and due dates for papers/projects, but it's up to them how they schedule their time. For this, homeschooling is excellent preparation. Giving the student some fixed deadlines for some of their work is a great way for them to prepare for deadlines in college. You can guide them considerably at the beginning, but after a while, they should be learning how to schedule their time on their own. It's a process which is well suited to homeschooling.

 

I hope that your daughter has a great 9th grade year, no matter what you decide to do. :001_smile:

[Night Elf]

I appreciate the additional responses. I did have another person warn me about the possible behavioral change, so I will keep an eye out on that. She's never been one to conform so it would be completely out of character for her and would definitely be a red flag.

 

Her friend who was in school this past year told her she needed to take Honors classes. And then that friend's mom called me and told me the same thing. :tongue_smilie: We didn't originally sign her up for any because she was worried about the work load on top of the strangeness of a new school and routine. However, I'm going to call Monday morning and speak with her counselor. I'm worried they'll say it's too late, but dd's friend's mom said not to let them intimidate me. That's going to be hard because I'm really a pushover. However, I'm going to try getting her into Honors English and Honors Biology. Surely they'll listen to me on that. I can see them refusing to change electives if they don't fit into her schedule, but we'll see.

 

My current plan is to let her do the 1st semester and re-evaluate. I hate to have that attitude because it sounds like a cop-out, but I feel better knowing I have some control over the issue.