Digby is driving me crazy!

[meggie]

I don't know how to fix this. Any help would be appreciated. I'm failing him as a parent. He's always been harder to take care of than the other two. He's the type who hardly slept, would ask for me to hold him, cry when I did, kick to get down, and cry when I put him down and ask to be held again.

 

Now he gets into trouble all the time. Playing with electrical outlets (the unused ones are covered; he's playing with the ones that are in use), trying to get DH's fish out of the fish tank, climbing up shelves and on tables, falling off shelves and tables. :banghead: He knows he's not supposed to do these things, but at 3 he has little self-control. And now anytime I scold him, he immediately turns to whining and "Mommy, I need you. Hold me." I find myself becoming so resentful towards him. I know he's a normal toddler. How do I stop being such an awful parent towards him? I am yelling so much and have even called him a naughty boy :crying: I know he's not really naughty, just 3, but I am about to go crazy.

 

What do I do?

[Impish]

Sounds like he's figured out how to distract you from the scolding.

 

I'm put him on time outs, and when he asks to be held, say, "When your time out is over, absolutely!"

 

I also wonder, from what you've described, if he perhaps has any sensory issues? It could possibly explain the 'push/pull' and constant activity, if he's seeking sensory input.

[Rosie_0801]

Bad mamma? If you could see what's going on at my house, you'd buy your boy an ice cream and spend the rest of the day smugly feeling due for sainthood.

 

:hugs:

Rosie

[meggie]

Sounds like he's figured out how to distract you from the scolding.

 

I'm put him on time outs, and when he asks to be held, say, "When your time out is over, absolutely!"

 

I also wonder, from what you've described, if he perhaps has any sensory issues? It could possibly explain the 'push/pull' and constant activity, if he's seeking sensory input.

 

I don't know much (or anything) about sensory issues. I will try Googling and see if I find anything about it. Thank you.

 

Bad mamma? If you could see what's going on at my house, you'd buy your boy an ice cream and spend the rest of the day smugly feeling due for sainthood.

 

:hugs:

Rosie

 

Well, the "naughty boy" is just the one that happens a million times a day. He used to say, "I'm not naughty" back, but has since stopped. Which makes me feel a thousand times worse, I don't want him accepting that label. But I feel terrible for the resentment I feel towards him. Sometimes I look at him and can just feel my blood pressure rising. And there's more, I'd just rather not say. *sigh* Thank you.

[Caitilin]

Does Digby have an approved outlet for all this energy? In one of my old school parenting books, they talk about kids, but especially boys, having access to a "pounding block"--a chunk of wood with some nails driven most of the way but not all the way in--and a hammer, like a rubber mallet or kids' sized hammer, to expend some of their excess on. I don't know if you could or would make (or have your dh make) such a thing, but maybe you could think of ways in which he could safely use up this energy in a similar way.

 

I think if I were you, I would try to focus on channeling him into vigorous, tiring activities which you approve. Could he do swimming lessons? Gymnastics? Little kids TKD?

 

Does he get enough outdoor time, and does he have a place to dig in the dirt, "fight" trees with a stick, etc?

 

Also, catch him in his sweet moments, and praise and love on him then. And, knowing that LDS don't do written prayers, but still, could you make yourself a little mantra to pray IN THE MOMENT when you are dealing or are about to deal with naughtiness? Even an "oh Lord, HELP me!" could help you get your focus on the right relationship you want to have with your little guy, and not on the chaos du jour.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You are doing a good job, mama--keep on going.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[sewingmama]

My almost 3yo is just the same - I can't begin to tell you things he gets into - but I tell myself it's because he's a bored little genius looking for stimulation :lol:

 

It doesn't bother me as much as it did when the other two were at the same stage - I think it's because I know he is the last baby and will soon outgrow it.

 

If I had one younger then him -like you do - then it would bug me more.

 

Maybe it's a middle child thing -you are schooling your older child and naturally paying lots of attention to the baby - It's the same at my house right now - my middle child isn't quite ready for school so is told to "go play" a lot -he tends to do a lot of attention seeking things when he feels left out.

:grouphug:

[LittleIzumi]

I don't know much (or anything) about sensory issues. I will try Googling and see if I find anything about it. Thank you.

 

 

If sensory seeking looks right, PM me. Been there. Done that. :grouphug: Heck, PM me anyway, lol. I have a book all about sensory activities that work great for just plain energetic kids, too.

[gardenmom5]

Sounds like he's figured out how to distract you from the scolding.

 

I'm put him on time outs, and when he asks to be held, say, "When your time out is over, absolutely!"

 

I also wonder, from what you've described, if he perhaps has any sensory issues? It could possibly explain the 'push/pull' and constant activity, if he's seeking sensory input.

:iagree: and this too will pass.

also, there are outlet covers that will "lock" a plug in so the child can't unplug something.

 

my brother was obsessed with outlets - he says he even used to take the ends off my mother's bobby pins and stick them in the outlet. he's an electrical engineer.