S/O--Do you have a child that physically stands apart (i.e. Attractive)?

[Scarlett]

Sometimes his stuffed wolf will inspire more comments from strangers than the hippo and dd will be upset on behalf of the hippopotamus population. They are very misunderstood animals, after all. :D

 

This is so cute. :)

[kama]

My daughter has very beautiful, unusual eyes, both eyes have a darker outer ring of color and a lighter inner ring but one of her eyes is half brown half the other color. People ALWAYS comment on her eyes, if a person looks at her there will be a comment. She also used to have long beautiful hair that she hated brushing, so we got it cut. She wanted bangs so we let her have them but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately because it brought the fact that this was becoming an issue to my attention) the cut doesn't suit her very well at all and she has stopped getting as many comments. I did not realize how it was effecting her until she started complaining that people never say she is cute or pretty anymore, and she started fishing for compliments pointing out her eyes to an adult friend that came over and did not mention them.

 

I am still not sure what the right way to respond to this stuff is but I do know that it can have an impact. We talk a lot about it being who you are and what you do that matters, not how you look.

[MiniBlondes]

My oldest gets over the top compliments as well. She always has. Even when she was a baby. People just stare at her. The worst is when I see them whispering to each other about her. She has beautiful skin, bright blue green eyes, long light blonde hair, and bone structure that makes me jealous. Haha. But, she looks exactly like her father. I cannot tell you how many times people will pull me aside and tell me that I should look into modeling for her. I say thank you and internally I just roll my eyes. Of course I think she's beautiful. But my 7 y/o is beautiful too. I don't want her feeling like that's all she's got or that her face is where her beauty comes from. She's also above average academically and athletically gifted. Because of the constant praise and outpouring of compliments, I really really REALLY struggle with trying to keep her humble.

 

When she was about 3, I started this little thing with her. I always say "Alex, where does pretty come from?" and she'll point at her head and her heart. It's a constant thing for us, keeping her humble and teaching her to serve others. I hope it sinks in, but sometimes it's hard to tell. I struggle because I feel like I can't compliment her in the ways that I want to because she already gets complimented enough. So I find myself doing this awkward indifference. "Oh, you learned your back handspring in 4 days? That's cool." No, that's not cool... that's flipping AWESOME!!! But she's gloating... and I can't feed it. Sigh. I really need to bring this under control. Haha.

 

Her sister on the other hand? She's as cute as a button. And she is absolutely hilarious and can charm the socks off of anyone. ;)

 

ETA: I think this is one of the reasons that my husband is so supportive of HS. He wants to 'protect' her from the boys. Haha.

Edited June 28, 2012 by MiniBlondes

[MiniBlondes]

some of my mom's favourite expressions:

 

"pretty is as pretty does"

"your looks may get you thru the door, but its who you are that will keep you there"

"above all, be kind"

"who did you notice today?"

"who did you help today?"

"who is being left out? how can you help that?"

"find three people and compliment them about something specific that you have seen them DO".

 

rinse. repeat.

fwiw,

ann

 

Saving this :)

[sassenach]

I imagine this will be a long thread..;)

 

 

 

No joke. My stand out kid also happens to be very, very smart.

 

Yep.

 

I parent with a hammer on that one. Just so she fully understands she doesn't fart rainbows and burp glitter.

 

 

:iagree: Between her beauty and her wit, we have to stay right on top of her. I often joke that we homeschool her for the protection of others. She has a total queen bee personality and I know that homeschooling her is absolutely vital to her character development.

[Impish]

The younger 3 get complimented all the time.

 

Tazzie has blue eyes and ridiculously long lashes...frankly, he's a good looking kid.

 

Princess is delicate framed, big brown eyes, loooong lashes.

 

Boo has goregous blue eyes, chubby cheeks, hair that isn't quite long enough to curl, so he's got a kind of natural mohawk going, and eyelashes that aren't just long and thick, but freaking CURL to boot.

 

Eldest son looks like Matt Damon. :001_huh: But in better shape. :001_huh:

 

Diva is about 5'6, long straight, thick hair, blue eyes, and heavier set. She's going to be a knock out once her puppy fat goes, but of course she doesn't see that. And, ppl make a big whoop out of the Littles, and the only comments she tends to get is ppl thinking she's yrs older than she is b/c of her size.

 

*sigh*

[Joani]

My two older kids are very blond and have always been tiny with big blue eyes, so they were getting the "adorable" comments well into elementary school. My

daughter has turned into a very pretty/cute young teenager, but she still looks young enough not to get comments from guys. As for keeping them humble, it hasn't been an issue. We've had to work on insecurities about being smaller and younger looking than their friends. They don't realize how good they have it. :tongue_smilie:

 

My younger son has fiery red hair and doesn't quite have the looks that the older two do, so his comments are mostly about his hair. I more than make up for it - I think I call him "Handsome" more than I call him by his name. :)

[cjbeach]

My youngest guy has dark hair/light blue eyes and tans really well. The dark/light complement garners a lot of attention. We've had people stop us often. I find it a little distressing now that he's 6 because baby stage is over, and he has 2 siblings.

We only have one dd and she is really good about it, and will be the first to tell you how cute her little brother is, but sheesh... hello, 2 other kids. I feel awful that the other 2 (older sister, the other an oblivious older brother) sometimes have noteven been acknowledged by people while complimenting youngest. :confused:

[EthiopianFood]

Be grateful you have a black child who likes her hair. Truly.

 

"Yes, your hair is very beautiful, but people stay friends with someone because they are NICE!" Etc. She needs both of these messages to have good self esteem in the future.

[Scarlett]

My two older kids are very blond and have always been tiny with big blue eyes, so they were getting the "adorable" comments well into elementary school. My

daughter has turned into a very pretty/cute young teenager, but she still looks young enough not to get comments from guys. As for keeping them humble, it hasn't been an issue. We've had to work on insecurities about being smaller and younger looking than their friends. They don't realize how good they have it. :tongue_smilie:

 

My younger son has fiery red hair and doesn't quite have the looks that the older two do, so his comments are mostly about his hair. I more than make up for it - I think I call him "Handsome" more than I call him by his name. :)

 

My incredibly gorgeous dh was a red headed kid. Made fun of constantly...Now he is sandy blonde....who makes my heart stop. ;)

[jewellsmommy]

This is so cute. :)

 

Thank you. Dd is very passionate about hippos. She chose my avatar and insisted I use it. I warned her that wolves would have to get their turn eventually. :001_smile:

[Pink Fairy]

Two of my kids are exceptionally gorgeous, the other three are merely extremely attractive. ;) We've muddled through just fine. I compliment other people's kids on their standout qualities, and they do the same for mine--looks are just one part of that.

 

I have to admit, I wish my two exceptional ones were a little less so. I think that "the beautiful people" face temptations and situations in life that the more average among us don't usually deal with.