Tap Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 DD got her phone last night. We have unlimted texting but not unlimited talk. We have the internet blocked on it. Ds17 has had one for years, but he rarely uses it, I know I won't say that about her. LOL Do you have any specific rules about phones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_midori Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 I would have gotten unltd talk & ltd texting - and not allowed her to do texting. I love my friend's comment for her teenagers with phones... "if you aren't willing to say it out in front of your family, then you shouldn't be saying it at all"! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 No phones at the dinner table! No phone use while driving. If there's an emergency, pull into a parking lot somewhere and make the call. My oldest has a smartphone that she would surgically attach to herself if she could. My 18yo never used his cellphone at all so it was taken over by my 12yo. He has a 13yo best friend and they text back and forth from time to time, but it hasn't gotten too out of hand (so far). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 I would have gotten unltd talk & ltd texting - and not allowed her to do texting. I love my friend's comment for her teenagers with phones... "if you aren't willing to say it out in front of your family, then you shouldn't be saying it at all"! :) I don't think it's so much about not being willing to say it in front of your family. It's that texting is the way most people, even adults, are communicating. Voicemail is not used as much, and if you just need to send a quick message, not have a long drawn out conversation,then texting is perfect for that. I don't get the "I'm giving you texting, but you can't use it". Just block texting altogether if you don't want them to use it. I would (and will be doing this next month when DS13 gets an iPhone for his birthday) let them know that we can, and WILL, be checking their usage. Looking at their internet history, checking text messages (and no use deleting them because I can see how many they sent via bill, so if I see that they've all been deleted, I will be suspect). I would make a habit of doing the checking right there in front of them on a weekly basis, so they understand that I am going to be checking. It's not that I don't trust him and he's not made a bad choice this far in life. But it's just that it's my job as a parent and it's too easy to fall into bad choices. We have an open door policy, as my children just have to learn to live with that until they are older :). I plan to also let him know that if someone else texts him, emails him, etc things that he would be embarrassed for us to see, then he should instruct his friend not to send that stuff to him. I may even bring up the few new stories that have been out in the last few years of teenagers actually getting in trouble with the law, for sending out pictures/bullying, etc all via texting and online stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicmommy Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Our 12 year old ds has had his own phone for about a year now. Let me amend that by saying that since we don't have a house line anymore, we have a cell phone that sits on our counter and that is also his phone. That is the phone he takes with when he goes bike riding with his friends or up to the park. He does have texting on it and he and his friends communicate that way, but he does know that we will occasionally check on that. He's one of those kids though, that is not a rule breaker and life is very black and white to him. Now, my youngest...yeah, he'll probably be a totally different story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 No phones at the dinner table! No phone use while driving. If there's an emergency, pull into a parking lot somewhere and make the call. :iagree: My driving one keeps her phone on vibrate all the time. I asked if she can tell if it's a text or a call. She can so I told her if I text while she is driving to wait until she gets where she is going and then check. But if I call while she is driving, she needs t find somewhere to pull over and call me back. Oh and if you are with people, no texting. So if you are with friend x and friend y texts you, you may tell y that you can't text now, you will get back to her, but you can't have a conversation. And not even that in front of my mom. You just ignore the person texting you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrbmom77 Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 My first rule for DD13 is that she is not allowed to give the number to anyone without my permission. (She was only 11 when she got a cell b/c I ditched the landline.) That's a short list of dear friends that I know well and family. No calling or texting late at night, Mom may check messages and call history at any time, no deleting call history or messages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 We instituted a family charging center to prevent dd14 from texting late at night. At 10:30pm, her phone must be downstairs (in the kitchen) at our charging station. We've gone over generally etiquette rules regarding texting (not at the dinner table, not while having a conversation with others, etc). We also had the internet/pictures function turned off to prevent the possibility of unwanted charges or inappropriate material. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Right now ours all share one phone when they're out. But ds is getting one for his birthday ... we're also doing the unlimited text, pay to talk (since teens don't seem to know that you can talk on them anyway). Our rules: Mom or dad can take it and look through your texts at any time. Phone goes on the mantle at bedtime and stays there until after school is completed for the day. He'll be paying us for the plan. We will go over the bill, any calls to/from Mom and Dad, we'll cover. Most other calls will be his responsibility. Irresponsible behavior (with the phone or in other areas) may result in suspension of the plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Calvin's phone doesn't have internet access. None of us texts when we are in a family situation. We all wait until a natural break to do it. He doesn't use the phone that much, so we haven't had to make any rules. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Shut it off at bedtime is our only rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 If she ever gets it back, one rule for my 12 yo will be that the phone does not go to her bedroom--it stays in public places while she is home. This should avoid the random hours in while she holes up in her room and texts about nothing. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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