XP: Help Me Get Through Mtg. w/Child Psych.

[Purple Cat]

I have written previously about difficulties I am having with the therapist my DS6 started seeing a year ago. To summarize, she called my son and his twin, my daughter, "freakishly intelligent" and told then "other people were normal, they were the different ones." She also told me and my children together that I had "no rules for my children when I started." (Absurdly untrue.) She told me she worked on the gravitational insecurity she acknowledges my son has by dangling him near a window of a high-rise building and telling him he could trust her. She frames his continued anxiety as "difficulty and being slow trusting adults." She wants him medicated because he feels anxious when she dangles him near the window. To add to it, she repeatedly adamantly and persistently tells me that I have to teach my kindergarteners to write NOW. (They have significant fine-motor delays despite intensive and prolonged OT.) She tells me my son "hates home schooling" and he really needs to go to PS.

 

And all that was BEFORE her disrespectful treatment of me intensified. Now, she does things like learning that my daughter has a wart ORDERS me to get it removed IMMEDIATELY because it's highly contagious. I tell her I already am taking care of it, only to have her respond by even more emphatically telling me that I must take care of it immediately and admonishing me to be sure I take care of it right now several more times.

 

I did tell her about six weeks ago that I was terminating my son's therapy because I preferred to treat gravitational insecurity with occupational therapy, not psychotropic medicine. (He had previously had 4 1/2 years of OT for SPD, with grav. issues now emerging for the first time. His sister's sensory issues flopped, too, at one point from grav. insecurity to sensory-seeking.) I also pointed out the reason I had brought him to therapy -- unhappiness following several very stressful situations/changes -- greatly had improved.

 

We're still seeing her, right now, though, because she offered to do IQ testing with ins. reimbursement. She also was willing to test in a way that minimized the impact of their fine-motor delays and to use out of level tests and extended norms. WONDERFUL! GREAT!!!!

 

But the disrespectful treatment of me has escalated during our weeks of testing. (Maybe one of the kids repeated something I said about how inappropriate it was to call small children freaks or to use medicine to treat gravitational insecurity?)

 

Anyway, I have to meet with this woman to get the test results. She won't just give them to me. I did send her an e-mail asking her not to state the reason for therapy was my complete lack of rules for my children because it was untrue. She apologized for "my feeling offended." She had no response to my telling her that while I appreciated her willingness to discuss my children's test results that I had strong feelings about how it was done and did not want them to use terms like "freakishly intelligent" either self-referentially or with others.

 

I generally find myself explaining, defending, justifying to no avail. I find myself doing so in the face of, frankly, specious, ill-thought, spurious assertions that she pounds like they are divine revelations of truth. E.g. "PS is best" for a little boy with sig. sensory issues, sig gross motor delays, sig giftedness" in a poor, rural, provincial school district.

 

I don't ever plan on returning again. How would you handle the meeting? How would you handle the boundary violations and the disrespect? Silently sit with an eye-brow raised and refuse to respond? Say I need to focus on the test results and refuse to discuss other matters?

 

As you can probably tell, I'M BEYOND DONE!!!

 

Thank you for reading and letting me vent.

[tntgoodwin]

Put yourself in her shoes. How would you want someone to act if you were her?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Wouldn't the only thing you have to do is to find a new psychologist and fill out the paperwork for the files from this one to be sent over? Or I think you can fill out paperwork for them to give you copies directly. I wouldn't waste time in meetings or confrontations when it seems like communication has broken down beyond the normal bounds of professionalism.

[Deniseibase]

I would be polite, stick to the issue of the test results, and let anything dumb she says go in one ear and out the other, with a liberal dose of "Oh, really?" and bean dip :D

 

Some people go into psychology areas because they are trying to figure out how to fix their own problems, YWIM?

[catz]

I would be polite, stick to the issue of the test results, and let anything dumb she says go in one ear and out the other, with a liberal dose of "Oh, really?" and bean dip :D

 

:iagree: I'd go and get the results, trying to stick to the topic and doing your best to ignore any unnecessary commentary. Once I get a copy of the results, I'd run from the building never to return. It is rare to get insurance to cover full IQ testing, so I'd definitely want those results.

 

Some people go into psychology areas because they are trying to figure out how to fix their own problems, YWIM?

 

:iagree: Truer words were never spoken. She sounds like she should contact her mental health professional.

[Purple Cat]

Thank you. I had terminated many weeks earlier, but with her offering to test with ins. reimbursement during that time, I wanted to seize the opportunity to get the test.

 

I appreciate the confirmation that re-directing her to test results, refusing to respond to the other, and leaving immediately after getting them was best. My downfall is wanting to explain, to justify, to defend in order to try to keep everyone happy.

[dalynnrmc]

She sounds like she should contact her mental health professional.

:iagree: and maybe some law enforcement to boot. Dangling a child near a window, especially a child with the issues you've mentioned... looks like outright child abuse to me.

 

I'd be hell-fire angry, and she MUST give you the results. Kudos to you for even going to the meeting. I'd walk in, demand the sheets, and walk out.

 

I'm mad FOR you right now! What nerve!!!!

[Walking-Iris]

Everything in your post screams wrong. If I were you I'd try to leave a review online if that's a possibility or with the clinic or hospital, whatever, that she works for. Other patients ought to have the opportunity to know how she operates.

 

You're more patient than me---I've left doctor's offices with them being fully aware of my displeasure for a lot less.

[Purple Cat]

I need to clarify. She holds him next to a window, so he is looking out the high-rise window while suspended in her arms. He isn't held outside the window. I would have called the police, CPS, etc., for sure.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

:iagree: I'd go and get the results, trying to stick to the topic and doing your best to ignore any unnecessary commentary. Once I get a copy of the results, I'd run from the building never to return. It is rare to get insurance to cover full IQ testing, so I'd definitely want those results.

 

 

 

:iagree: Truer words were never spoken. She sounds like she should contact her mental health professional.

 

:iagree: Yeah. Sounds like she should not be around children.

[melmichigan]

Focus on the results of the test, make sure the report is accurate and all the information you will have paid for is included. Ignore anything else and be happy to be done.

[RanchGirl]

Focus on the results of the test, make sure the report is accurate and all the information you will have paid for is included. Ignore anything else and be happy to be done.

 

:iagree: And then type up a summary of what this individual has done and file a complaint with the medical board. Dangled a child near a window - what??

[Walking-Iris]

:iagree: And then type up a summary of what this individual has done and file a complaint with the medical board. Dangled a child near a window - what??

 

:iagree: Even if the window were closed and they were merely near it, I still thing that's wrong. It's not necessary or even right to instill any kind of fear in children in an attempt to help them overcome anxiety. That will only make it worse.

 

I have a child on the spectrum with ocd/anxiety. His OT addressed his gravitational insecurity through gentle exercises on an exercise ball and on the swing apparatus that they have. Any hint of fear and the activity was dialed back. Just holding a scared child near a window in a high rise does nothing for the vestibular and propriaceptive senses that need development to help with the insecurity. All that would do is cause more fear and anxiety and do absolutely nothing for the underlying sensory issues.

[Dobela]

Once my parents were dealing with a similar individual. When they went for the final meeting my dad took a tape recorder and politely asked if they could tape the conversation. Since the conversation was about their son, they wanted to make sure they didn't miss any important details that needed to be shared with the other professionals they were currently working with. Suprisingly, the person agreed and the meeting was wonderful. If the weird one had said no, my dada was going to ask for his copy of the reports and leave. They never returned to that individual again though.