Advice for Shriek-y Three-Year-Old?

[Julie in Austin]

If his brothers aggravate him, he makes this hideous sound (think: 1000s of nails on a chalkboard). I've tried "use your words" but it doesn't seem to help. Any ideas? (BTW, sometimes his brothers need correction and I deal with that, sometimes they aren't at fault, tho.)

 

BTW, this is a child the responds really well to short-term incentive charts (i.e., we used one for potty training and it worked perfectly) but I can't figure out how to structure one for *not* doing something.

 

I'm open to other ideas, too.

[Mommy22alyns]

When you find out, let me know, because Sylvia tends to do the same thing. :confused:

[Joanne]

1) Outside is the only acceptable place for that kind of volume and noise. Therefore a choice to go there is a choice to go to the backyard.

 

and 2)

 

BTW, this is a child the responds really well to short-term incentive charts (i.e., we used one for potty training and it worked perfectly) but I can't figure out how to structure one for *not* doing something.

 

He can get a sticker everytime he gets irritated or frustrated and *doesn't* make that noise. I've done this with aggression, with using certain words, etc.

[Snickerdoodle]

I have one of those too. :confused:

[abreakfromlife]

well....this is not a very helpful thread :lol::lol: I have one too, although he's only 2.5. I tell him what to say ' you can just say No, you don't have to screech'....but that is still his first reaction all.the.time.

[abreakfromlife]

oh, and sometimes I put him in timeout, but I don't think it's working. He's started asking to go to timeout! :confused::001_huh:

[clwcain]

Our middle boy has been the same way. He's getting better. We concluded the best way to deal with it was feed him and try to ignore it. He's growing out of it, as far as we can tell.

[Joanne]

oh, and sometimes I put him in timeout, but I don't think it's working. He's started asking to go to timeout!

 

Can I very gently respond to this? Discipline does not have to "hurt". By hurt, btw, I do not mean to imply physical punishment. I mean the assumption we have in this culture that you have to find out what will motivate a kid to change = good discipline. The fact that he is self regulating enough to ask for a cool down is demonstrating that he's maturing. This is proof that discipline works!

 

Time out, time away, removal from the scene are all appropriate as a tool for an inappropriately loud child.

[Lolly]

Walking through the grocery store your 2,3,4 yo just randomly decides to shriek. Scares the #@#$* out of you and everyone near you. Nothing stops this behavior that you can find. A few years later, you discover he has Tourette's and this was probably one of his earliest tics.

[Plaid Dad]

I know a family that gently squirts the child with water from a spray bottle (like a cat!) as a reminder not to shriek. I'm not sure how I feel about that, although it does seem to help. We just covered our eats and reminded our shrieker to use her indoor voice until she grew out of it.

[abreakfromlife]

 

The fact that he is self regulating enough to ask for a cool down is demonstrating that he's maturing.

I'd agree with you except he usually asks when he's in a great mood and is playing and just wants something else fun to do :glare:

[EndsWell]

Each of my 3 (and problably #4) has gone through some sort of shriekyness. Just remember that it is a phase, and usually due to frustration about not being able to control emotions or express herself well. We talk about the outside noises, etc. and sometimes that works. Often a hug is really good too.

 

-Adriana

[Pamela H in Texas]

BTW, this is a child the responds really well to short-term incentive charts (i.e., we used one for potty training and it worked perfectly) but I can't figure out how to structure one for *not* doing something.

 

Just to answer this part....

 

What you do is work backwards. Each time he does it, he gets an X or tallymark or whatever. When he gets under a certain number, he gets a reward. After he does that a few days, lower it down a time or two. Then finally, he must get ZERO X's in order to get the small reward.

 

Tallymarks work well for all sorts of things like this. With an older child, you wouldn't reward him for doing it less, but just having to go tallymark it will let him see how often he XYZs and he'll automatically start aiming for zero marks.

 

I'm typically against all bribes, rewards, threats and punishments, but I do think they have a place on very rare occasions (ie, we've used a reward chart twice with ds in 13 years). A LOUD behavior would be one of the first things I used one for though! LOL

 

ETA: btw, typically this is still because kiddo doesn't have the skills and tools necessary to work things out appropriately. Even if you've taught them, they aren't on the tip top of his brain. Keep teaching and guiding and it'll take :)